Sara’s got a question in from a girl who wants to do the smart thing when it comes to sex and be safe, but she’s afraid to ask her mom for birth control. She thinks her mom might flip. Sara’s got some words of wisdom for this super awkward, but super necessary conversation. From practicing to remembering that moms have sex too (we know!), Sara will coach you through talking to your mom about getting on the pill.

Have you ever had to ask your mom for birth control pills? Do you think your mom would flip if you followed Sara’s advice? Tell us everything in the comments!

And Now, Here’s How To Talk About Sex With Your Guy


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  • Tori

    I had sex the other night for the first time. He asked me if I wanted him to use a condom and of course I said yes (I don’t know his pull out game.) I don’t want to full on be like “Mom, I had sex.” I’m trying to hint at it. I’m about to ask her for birth control, hope all goes well. Will update.

    • Me

      Noooo don’t ever rely on the pull out method! Ever!

  • Emma

    I’m 17 nearly 18 and I have a boyfriend that I love very much and we are sexually active! My mum knows this as she has had “the talk” with me , when me and my boyfriend first started going out about how to be safe, I don’t know why I’m freaking out about telling her that I want to go on the pill but I am! I’ve had so much advice I guess I’m just scared it will be really awkward as the last conversation was!! Helpppp

  • Lindsey

    I’m 16, turning 17 in December, and I want to ask my mom for birth control. My parents are divorced and my dad actually spoke to me about it last year. He knows that I get really bad cramps and he thinks I should go on the pill. (My mom was also on the pill at my age for similar reasons because she remained abstinent until her wedding night with my dad). When my father and I spoke to her, she immediately shot us down. Honestly, I think my mom thinks I’m a whore and that I want the pill for sex. The last few months my cycle has been really out of wack. I’ve been getting my period about a week late or a week early(give or take a few days) since about May. Yesterday, I went to the mall with my friends and ditched early because my period came early. The bottom line is that I want to talk to my mom about birth control again, but I’m afraid because she already shot me down once. Any advice to show her that I want birth control to help with my cycle and cramps and NOT because I want to have sex?

  • Marie

    I am 18 years old, soon to be 19, and my boyfriend and I are looking to become sexually active soon. I’m still a virgin. He’s been wanting to for a while, but I’ve said no because I’m too afraid of becoming pregnant. He’s been very patient with me, and has not forced me to do anything I didn’t want to do. But now it’s to the point where I want it, as well. I’ve been thinking of telling my mom about it, but I’m too afraid she’ll worry about me while I’m away at college (my boyfriend and I attend the same university). I’m also afraid she’ll be upset, and that my dad will flip shit if she tells him. However, I suspect they’ll be.. Somewhat more accepting because of my age. Is birth control a good idea, health wise for me (I definitely want kids when I grow older)? Or should I stick to condoms only? Help..

  • Violet

    I’m 16 and I just started having sex with my boyfriend. We’ve only done IT a few times, but it’s starting to freak me out that I’m not more protected. I really wanna be safe. Plus my period has been awful since I started my cycle. But I am petrified of the whole thing about actually asking my mom. Any advice on killing the fear?

  • Jaden

    I’m 18 and I’m sexually active my {boyfriend} doesn’t like condoms so we don’t use one but it’s getting to the point where I am worried that I’m going to get pregnant…I’ve talked to him {boyfriend} and he says that IF I get pregnant I have to get an abortion, but I won’t and I’ve told him {boyfriend} that…I’m freaking 18 and I can’t even ask my mom to get on birth control! This isn’t right?!

    • Ellen

      If he knows how much this is bothering and worrying you why has he not offered to wear a condom? As you already know, in a relationship you sometimes have to meet your partner half way. Why not say that you’d like to go on the pill, but he should also wear a condom? That way you’re both doing your bit and it also protects you more from STD’s as well as pregnancy.

      Hope this helps 🙂

    • Jassey

      Sweetheart, that’s not right at all! Having unprotected sex is not something you want to be doing if you don’t want to get pregnant. Even the pull out method can still get you pregnant due to pre-ejaculate. If your boyfriend is refusing to wear a condom and is demanding that you have an abortion if you get pregnant, then you might want to take another look at the relationship you’re in. That’s not healthy, girl!! Safe sex in a relationship isn’t just about protection, but about talking things like this out, and being heard! If he’s not listening, then he’s not respecting you!

      Aside from that, here is a website that has other methods of birth control that you can get without your mom’s help. Some of these things (like spermicide and the vaginal ring, which I really recommend) Won’t interrupt sex like a condom does, so your boyfriend shouldn’t have a problem.

      Here’s the link: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/contraception-guide/Pages/which-method-suits-me.aspx

      Good luck! oxox

    • Emma

      My advice is to ask your mom in a way that doesn’t even involve sex! Many birth controls are used to control cramps, heavy menstrual cycles, and even acne. You could always use one of these as an excuse because they’re very common reasons in young women. Your mom would believe its for one of those reasons and you’ll have sexual protection without even telling her.

  • Chelsea

    Almost 17 year old girl here! **PLEASE HELP**
    My parents have never been able to trust me.. Last year (at 15 years old) I did something I was ashamed of (not sex, so don’t think that!) Since then, mum and dad have never been able to trust me with anything.. My best friend is allowed in her house until midnight with her boyfriend, who she has only been seeing for 2 months… however, I’ve known my boyfriend a few years now, we’ve been seeing eachother since December, and we got in a relationship in March and we are not aloud in the house alone for longer than 10 minutes, which I think is wrong, seeing as my parents know him very well, and they show signs that they really like him as my boyfriend.. It’s come to the point in our relationship where we want to take things further (a sexual relationship with one-another!) I have stayed a virgin until after my 16th birthday, as I believe sex is something you should value, therefore I plan to keep my virginity until the right person comes alone (who I believe I have found!) However, we had a family talk (including my boyfriend) last month about sex and things, and my mother said that if I needed to go to the doctors for the pill or anything, then I have to go to her and tell her ~ but I don’t know how she’s react if I told her that I want a sexual relationship with {boyfriend} right now. I’m scared that she will flip out and me and stop me from seeing my boyfriend, who I love so much! We have been through some really tough situations which any normal relationship would probably not get though… Please help me! Im really scared x

    • Violet

      Since you all have already had the sex talk, I don’t think your mom would flip out too badly. Try asking her in a way that shows she can trust you: speak calmly, act mature, and be prepared in case she says no. Do not freak out. Good luck

  • Mackenzie

    So I’m 15 and since september I’ve been having unbearable pain during my period. It’s to the point were ill end up vomiting, sometimes I feel like I’m going to faint, nothing helps the pain anymore, I’ve been loosing sleep and with how bad the painful cramps its got me in constant tears. I’d like to get on birth control because I know it helps with the pain but I don’t have a close relationship with my mom or dad and I’m scared to bring it up to my mom. I have a boyfriend and I don’t want them I think that I only want Birth Conteol for having sex. which that’s not the case at all, I haven’t had sex and I don’t plan to. Is there any easy way to bring it up to either of my parents?

  • Ash

    So I somehow in fund the courage to ask my grandmother to go the pills it was an awkward talk since most of my family heard the conversation from the kitchen and came into the living room. Grandma remained calm listened to me and said if I wanted to take them then I could, but to make sure I would need them. so Yesterday morning when I was walking to English class with my bf I asked him. He said he never said them and seemed shocked that I thought it. I told him his sister had told me and said that he was joking around (not sure what about) and his might of gotten the idea. He said he would never force me to do anything I don’t want to. He promised not to tell anyone at school about this misunderstanding. I have to trust my instinct and its telling me to believe him so even though no one gave me advice thanks anyways.

  • Ash

    I actually have a question
    Today at school my boyfriends sister told me that he wanted me to lose my virginity I don’t want too. im only going to be 16 next month and I don’t want to end up with a baby. no matter what I will say no but with teenage boys these days you never know. I’m scared he might force me. although I doubt it, it if gets to a point were I think he will I want to start taking the pregnancy pills. But I don’t know how to tell my grandma (who I live with) that I want to. I’m scared that she going to think that I already lost my virginity and she might get mad I also have a 7 sister who comes often to my house and I don’t want her to get into it I have a lock on my medicine cabinet but I also don’t want someone to go in and find them because the only ones in my house who would need them is me or my cousin who is the same age as me but a month younger. So how can I tell Only grandma that I want to take them and how can were can I keep them so my siblings or anybody else’s can’t find them

  • Kelsey

    I expected my mother to freak out about me asking for birth control pills but she was rather calm about it and we came to an agreement she would let me if I ever decide to be sexually active. So just know that however you think a parent may react, you should just talk to them, you may be able to convince them or work out some compromise, Like I did.

  • Darleen

    something embarrassing happened between me and my boyfriend. What can i do so it won’t be awkward any more?

  • lux

    Im 17 almost 18 and I just asked my mom if I could get on birth control just incase, that way if the moment came I could be safe. She flipped out and now she won’t let me see my boyfriend, great. And im not even sexually active yet I just thought it would be the smart thing, but I guess not.

    • Alex

      Birth control pills are not only to protect from pregnancy but also they work as a pain relief, so if you have really bad ache when on your period then just go and talk to your mum about this.

    • Niki

      That is 100% WRONG! As a mother of 3 teenagers, I wil NEVER understand why a Mother or Father would FLIP out when their teen is showing how respnsible they are by reconizing it is time for PROTECTION!! This makes my blood boil. As parents we should be EDUCATING and protecting our children & teens.

      • AnnaLee

        I fully agree.

  • Bree

    My mom is very strict….and im really scared to ask her to let me be on birth control…what should i do?

    • Ann

      I thought my mom would flip shit when I asked her to put me on birth control but almost every parent is going to be calm because its better than a baby. But after your on it you might be restricted to what they will allow you to do just because they’re afraid you will start having sex at such a young age. That doesn’t last too long though. And if you want to go out and party with your boyfriend tell your mom your going to your friends house for girls night. it almost always works.

  • Jackie

    Just recently I worked up the courage to talk to my mom about getting birth control. I’ve been sexually active for about a year now, and always used condoms. With my most recent boyfriend, however, I’ve been slacking. I don’t think parents realize how difficult it is to stop and put one on when there is such intense chemistry, or when he doesn’t like to wear one. People can have fits about forcing him to, but something tells me that they’ve never been in that situation before. Anyway, I had a pregnancy scare and now we are using condoms again, but naturally, we want to stop. So, I decided it would be good for me to investigate birth control. I don’t like the idea of putting fake hormones in my body, and I want to have kids when I get married so I don’t want anything permanent. I found the ParaGuard IUD, and it’s just what I’m looking for. I don’t have to remember to take a pill or worry about a patch or ring, and I can be spontaneous.

    So, the discussion with my mom. I explained that I had slept with a past boyfriend that she loved (I did not mention my other past sexual encounters). And then I said I have no recent plans, but I wanted to be careful in the future. Naturally, she was shocked, and disappointed, but understood where I was coming from. I then explained that I was not going to be using this as an excuse to sleep around and I would continue using condoms, but I just wanted to be prepared. I think she liked how mature and responsible I came off, but it was still the most awkward and uncomfortable experience of my life since my mother is extremely conservative.

    My advice is to not say that you’ve slept with more than one person, to tell her that you don’t have any plans to, but just want to be prepared.

  • Kelsey

    My mom was not happy but said sure any way?

  • noodles

    the first time me and my mom talked about that she just flat out said ‘i think you should get birth control i dont want to be a grandma right now’ she knows i have sex A LOT and shes just protecting me i thought it was nice(x

  • kaye

    my conversation about starting the pill with my mom:
    me: i think i’m going to go on the pill.
    mom: but you use condoms, right?
    me: yeah but i think my boyfriend and i are ready for…more.
    mom: …..
    me: don’t worry we’ve both tested for stds and are negative and everything *shows papers*
    mom: …i can’t believe you and {boyfriend} are going to do…the RAW PUPPY…
    #awkwardparentslang

  • Poppy

    OMG!my mom would kill me!and i think ir is really normal for her bc/ in our country people are not allowed to have sex out of a marriage!!(i think its stupid!),
    But in a normal country its ok,and i think if i would ask her she would help me

  • Elizabeth

    Personally I don’t think my mom would let me get on the pill and to be honest, I would agree with her. My sister went on the pill for a while and it caused her nothing but problems!! She put on a lot of weight, she was getting migrains and headaches every single day!! The pill has sooo many side affects that in my opinion it’s not worth getting on it.

    • kaye

      then if anything, just let her know you’re sexually active (if that’s the issue, if it’s hormonal, the convo shouldn’t be a problem)