Sara has a note in from a girl who had sex and then girls at school started calling her a slut. She wants to know what to do. Sara’s got a ton of advice for this girl. But first, a note to all girls: Drop the word slut from your vocabulary. We are all so over it! Gross, gross, gross! Now onto this girl, hold your head high, be proud of your decision, and don’t stoop to their level. Want more on how to deal? Then watch!

Have you ever been called a slut? What would you do if girls were saying you were a slut? Tell me everything in the comments!

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  • Georgie

    I just need to get this off my chest.
    I was 16 when I had sex with an older guy – I was drunk and made a mistake (I’m now 18 and had sex one more time, I don’t regret it though. I made the same mistake of telling someone I thought I could trust). Of course I told my (now former) best friend, I thought I could trust her – but she blabbed to her boyfriend, and he spread the gossip even more. He is such an arse, he calls me a slut, whore etc. regularly, at lot of time publicly on social networks. But I could live with that, I mean, his opinion isn’t exactly a priority to me. What makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry is that no one, absolutely no one ever stands up for me. All of my “friends” (even my best friend), who are always oh-so-close during finals (I’m kinda smart if I say so myself), just continue socializing with this bully that they know hurts my feelings, and never even like my comments defending myself online (usually I try to think of a clever reply, but sometimes I just break down and write something angry, which I then regret). I mean, if the situation was reversed I would take a bullet for her. I know I’ve only got a couple months left and then I can say goodbye to these people forever, but it still hurts that the people I thought were friends turned out not to be. It’s not fair, why do some people have besties for life and others are all alone?

  • Sarah Voight

    I’ve been getting called a slut lately because I recently went to the Chicago pride parade because I’m bisexual . I met some girls about 6 maybe and I had either kissed or made out with them . I was drinking that whole day and was also smoking . Am I considered a slut ?

  • karla

    I was texting my bestfreinds boyfriend and he said that he was bored and I was like awe I’m horned but I meant to say I’m honerd and even corrected myself a few texts later my soppused to be bestfreind then read the text messages and told the school I’m a slut a whore and now nobody believes me HELP ME GET THEM TO TRUST ME

  • natasha

    Here’s the issue with this topic, if you dress provacatively you leave yourself open to judgement good or bad. That’s what slut shaming is all about it’s a way of judging and policing girls who are out of control with their choice of attire.If you don’t want to be judged then don’t feed the shamers duhhh. I know, girls are hardheaded and stubborn and desperately seek the attention and validation that dressing provactively brings them but at what cost. All I ever hear is “I dress this way for me and its my body my life” horseshit women are getting dumber and each year the clothes get skimpier they’ve allowed themselves to be brainwashed by the media and fashion then they cry about “why is everyone calling me a slut”, and it’s just going to continually get worse.It’s all cause and effect posting selfies in your room in shorts and a tube top “cause” posting them for the world to see and judge you accordingly and leave comments “effect”.To the families affected because of slut shaming you have my condolences “i know what its like to loose a loved one”. However it most definately could have been avoided.

    • http://offbeatorbit.com Ashley Reese

      Why are you placing the onus on the people being judged for daring to like a tube top instead of on the judgmental jerks out there deciding that wearing a tube top means that you’re morally bankrupt and trashy?

      • natasha

        its not about tube tops per say.its dressing in revealing and trashy clothing,it will cause people to judge you as a morally bankrupt and slutty individual. People must learn to deal with the ramifications of their actions. If I’m dressed as a police officer chances are people will think I’m a police officer same goes if your wearimg a slutty outfit people have little choice but to assume your a slut.

        • http://offbeatorbit.com Ashley Reese

          Or maybe people can learn not to decide that people are “sluts” based on what they wear.

          • natasha

            Or young women and girls accept accountability for their actions and stop blaming everyone else in a futile attempt to escape being labeled accordingly and appropiately. Why should everyone else have to adapt and improvise because girls don’t like being slut shamed, can’t have your cake and eat it too there has to be a middle ground.

        • Sarah Voight

          Orrrr maybe just maybe people should stop being so judgmental and stop thinking so critically about stuff . Let people live their own life . Stop saying oh she’s a slut because she’s wearing clothes that show some skin . Everyone needs to mind their own business . Something is very wrong with this damn world .

    • Alysse

      Do not put blame on the victims for their shaming! Slut is used as a word to shame, silence, and downtrod women. I know women who have been called “sluts” for REFUSING to have sex with guys. It’s a word used for women you don’t like. How fucking sexist are you that you say women are getting dumber? Your dangerous line of thinking only makes it worse for you as a woman. YOU DON’T SPEAK FOR ME. I WILL wear whatever I want, and it will never be MY fault if anything happens to me. Bye! I feel very sorry for you. I can’t believe this negative comment hasn’t been deleted.

  • ann

    U know actually i got a call n msg from old lady that she jealouse about me soo much..as u think im working at retail shop as a salesgirl what we want fight about sales everytime i do more she unhappy with me as she want do as what i sale..as me im working n do my sale all i try to do my best..but if she want challenge for good thing no prob..but the thing is she nt happy what i done..she got daughter as i seen her daughther very pity.she try all her fashion wearing same her style..as want take care for daughter no prob ..but who know if daughter stillteen may turn to adult can become a SLUT AND BITCH as what she told me like dat.. WHAT GOES AROUND COME BACK AROUND! As women age 40+ can say lile day to ladies age21 soo embracing can see da personality is like RUBBISH in my life i got soo many friend as mix never call people like this and this old lady is m….how this people treats her self and family..?

  • Lydia

    I hav been called slut 2 times so far and I am a virgian and hav never done anything to be called slut the only reason the called me tht is they thought the my dress was to tight and short but if I put my arms down the dress was finger length and the dress not to tight I could probably fit another me in it. My mom and friends say tht they said tht because they r jealous because everyone was say how pretty I looked and hoe skinny I am. Is tht wut u guys think?

    • kody

      just tell them that a slut is not a personality and tell them to look up the real meaning of slut before they say it to you

    • lee chambers

      If your dressed as a slut would dress then why are you surprised or offended to be called a slut?

      • Millie

        THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS ‘DRESSING LIKE A SLUT’ It’s a made up concept to make WOMEN feel shame about themselves.

  • Meghan

    When a woman is ready to partake in sexual activity, it is her right to do so, and she should be able to without the conviction of bigots. It is not appropriate to have sexual relations with someone while you are with someone else, but that remains their business entirely. Sex is not something that it is dirty, in fact it is extremely healthy, so long as you are ready for it. When you are of a knowledgeable age, and you are mentally, physically, and emotionally prepared, it can be a wonderful experience. Whether someone chooses to be sexually active or not is their discretion. Some people wait until they are married, others do not. It has recently been suggested to be certain that you are sexually compatible with your partner before committing. Additionally, “slut” and “whore” are terms that are based on a sexist mentality. By referring to other girls as “sluts” or “whore,” you are giving the male population the right to do so as well. Men have sexual freedom, in fact, it is celebrated when they are with multiple women. I do not believe that it is appropriate to be with more than one person at a time, but again, that is the individual’s discretion. These words have also been used as synonyms of bitch, jerk, and so on. They are currently very broad terms, in fact, look up the book “Cunt.” Things change, and the world goes on. We all have our beliefs, but if you claim to be a good person, don’t judge another by their sexuality. Sexuality is personal, and people do tend to flaunt it, but that has to do with immaturity or esteem. Confiding in others or seeking advice about sexuality, however, is not flaunting it. Sex is a natural aspect of life. It can be enjoyable and healthy when in a safe environment, when necessary precautions are taken, and when both parties understand the possible consequences. I suggest that you get over your-self.

    • lee chambers

      Safe sex does not allow a person to dress or act in a slutty manner. Grow up.

  • Alyce

    Slut isn’t a bad word that needs to be thrown away, actually it have many different meanings. The main meaning of a Slut is a unhygienic woman, or a sloppy woman, or a crude woman (It basically means sloppy/unhygienic/crude/etc., but it’s used towards women and not men, hence why we have the word “Slut” in the first place, but in this day and age some people like to call men that as well).

    But this is pass the 1800s, so it have a different meaning, people find women who have sex/do something sexually in either unorthodox ways, or just in bad taste/sloppy/dirty/etc. are sluts. Just because the word is offensive, doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be used; it’s offensive to call someone a jerk, it’s offensive to call someone evil, a brat, many other things negative, but it’s a way to communicate our opinion, and, sorry, these words are in the English language. A slut doesn’t mean a woman who have sex, or a woman who have sex with multiple men (<– that last one is the definition of a whore, which is completely different from a slut. A woman can be a whore without being a slut, and a woman can be a slut without being a whore.).

    However, just because a woman doesn't follow someone's sexual standards doesn't make her a slut, she's only a slut when she acts sloppy in a sexual manner. For example, in the USA, it's not okay to walk around nude, so a woman is liable to be a "slut" if she dresses skimpily, because it's sexual sloppiness, now how skimpy is too skimpy depends on the woman's upbringing and culture (plus the people in her environment). People seem to confuse the word Slut with whore, and just because the world is now more sexually open (again…) doesn't mean Slut and Whores no longer apply.

    However, it is rude to call someone you don't know a slut to their face (you can yuck it up with your friends and family as much as you want), sure, she may be a slut, but it's only starting trouble to harass someone about their lifestyle that doesn't harm others just because you object to it.

    • lee chambers

      Its perfectly fine to shame sluts and the word slut was created and is still used in society as a means to defend our selves from these less desirable people, after all if a slut lives in a way that degrades them selves and society as a hole then that person should be shammed. Sluts should be convicted.

  • Lizz

    if ya dont want people to call u a slut, dont be one! :D

    • Natalie

      i get bullied every day because they say im a slut. IM A VIRGIN. Sometimes girls dont do anything to be called a slut. Its not necessarily being sluts, its mostly rumors, or ignorant people that dont use the word bitch, asshole, or anyother word.

      • B. Heel

        me too… I only hooked up(made over for 1 minute with out anything besides lips) with a guy once. and I got drunk once. Now suddenly I’m a slut, and rumors are believed. Not to be a bitch but I’m sort of like the golden girl at school, everyone thinks they can get with me n shit. Rumors are always spreading. Now even my best guy friends called me a skank. I think I’m honestly going to switch schools.. I can’t take this it’s just not fair. I don’t deserve this. Sure I deserved a little shit in the beginning, but now everyone is looking at me funny and spreading rumors and calling me a slut and its not fair. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been crying for hours… my best friends don’t even care.

  • Animals_Love2

    Slut is not an okay word. If a christian has sex after getting married, is she a slut? no. knock it off.

    • koolkalillysta

      hey Animals_Love2. u r completely right. you should nvr call someone that but really in christisnity we believe that waiting until after marriage is the proper thing to do because it saves you heartbreak and mental issues with urself and also trust issues. a great book to help you understand this is the book wait for me by rebecca st. james. that is exactly why we have purity rings. ur supposed to wear it to remind you that being pure is one of the things that we can never get back. but you should not frown upon people who choose to do it after marriage either because thats how god intended it. JESUS LOVES YOU!

      ~kalillysta

  • Chelsea

    Woah Ashley, your comment was totally NOT okay! First off, just because you are called names like prude or virgin mary (which also isn’t cool because your choice of not having sex is JUST as valid and adequate as someone else’s choice to have sex) doesn’t give you the right to call someone such a hurtful name like slut. I mean, have you ever heard an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind? Who wants to be judged for their sexual activites or lack thereof? No one!! The word slut is demeaning to women because it measures women on their sexual worth. Just because someone has multiple partners, doesn’t mean they “abuse their body”. As long as they are educated, practicing safe sex, and are healthy and happy, what gives you the right to bash on them? Unless someone is in danger of hurting themselves or having phsycoligical problems from her sexual activities, their sex life IS NOT YOUR CONCERN. How do you know if they take their decision for sex lightly? Chances are, if they are educated enough to practice safe sex, they are not taking it lightly, because they understad the reprocuttions that having sex can bring. So don’t play into gender roles and don’t judge someone because of their sex life. It’s not cool.

    • lee chambers

      Femenist, sexist and im guessing single.

  • Kate

    Hey in my school girls call me a slut because of all the guys i date. I know who are they 2 judge but it get’s worst. Then they just started calling me a whore for dating someone witch im a virgin. But i dont know what to do anymore im soo sick of it and it seems they always have better things to say about me then i have to about them. I hate being mean but i hate being call a Slut or a Whore by my own kind exspecialy around my crushes!
    What Should I Do?

    • cookie

      sweetie, dont let these girls get to you. I have been there and let me tell you, if you start acting up and/or try to step up to their level by trying to start rumors about them, they WILL try to completely crush you emotionally. You do not have to explain yourself to anyone. Do not be mean if you do not like it. Hold your head up high. If you hear girls making rude remarks when you walk past then do not even look their way. If you show no interest then they will stop. Let them call you what they want. You know who you are. Date who you want to date. They can run to your crushes and say, “OMG dont date that slut! i heard shes a slut!”. Guys most of the time will pretend to care just to get those girls to shut up. Guys know how girls are. Probably more then we think. Guys know when a girl is just trying to screw with another girl and guys do not want to be apart of it. So do not worry about that. Just remember to stand tall and turn your back to them! If it does not stop or they even try to fight you (which would be very childish), go to an adult ASAP. Go to your parents. Go to a trusted teacher. You can make it through this Gurl.:)

    • lee chambers

      School is brutal time in everybody’s life so my advice is gonna sound condescending and silly but dont let them get to you. Observe their behaviour over the time your at school and do the opposite to them, you wont go wrong.

  • Ashley

    I don’t understand what the problem is with the word slut. I use it. I’m called a prude/virgin mary because I don’t have sex by girls that do so I call them sluts. If you do slut behavior regardless of your race,gender,social/financial status than you are a slut. If you don’t abuse your body by handing it over to random guys, then maybe there would be less people called suts.These people make their own beds and they have to lie in them. To have sex is a decison to give yourself mentally,emotionally, and physically and whe you take that decision lightly people will judge you.

    • lee chambers

      You are so right, and may be interested in viewing a web site called ‘judgy bitch’ (in no way am i insulting you)