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Ugh, I know the feeling and I know how much it stinks. Getting over someone is hard enough as it is – but getting over someone you have to see and interact with all the time is even more difficult. It’s also a confusing feeling because you never really had a relationship with this person, so you don’t really know how you’re supposed to feel.

The best way to get over a crush, or anyone really, is to stop thinking about the person. This is way, wayyyy easier said than done. To do this, cut off contact as much as possible. This doesn’t mean you need to completely ignore him if he tries to talk to you (although you can do that if you want), but don’t go out of your way to talk to him. In fact, go out of your way not to talk to him. Do you sit near him in class? Try to move your seat, if possible. Are you friends with him on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram? I strongly suggest deleting him or, at the very least, blocking him. You’re never going to get over someone if you continue to see their regular updates via social media.

Using the buddy system to get over someone can help as well. Let your best friend know that you’re ready to get over this dude and she shouldn’t let you talk about him or try to talk to him. She can stop you whenever you bring up his name, she can say encouraging things to make you feel better and she can convince you not to approach him if you want to. Plus, you can lean on her when you’re feeling sad.

Another way to get over a crush? Start crushing on someone else! Be open to meeting new people and getting to know other guys – you probably didn’t notice them when you were busy crushing on this person, but their out there, I promise. Or, on the flip side, just focus on yourself for a while. Put all of your energy and time into doing something that will make you happy, like a hobby or a sport. Focusing on yourself not only makes you better, but it also makes you happier and before you know it, you’ll forget about that loser who doesn’t like you back.

I’ll be honest with you, though: it’s probably not going to take just a week or two to get over this crush. It can take a long time to stop liking someone and that’s okay. You shouldn’t feel pathetic about that! As corny as this phrase sounds, time really does heal all wounds. If you stick with these tips and avoid your crush as much as possible, you’ll go to bed one day realizing you didn’t even think about him once during the day – and it will feel great.

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

Does THIS mean my crush likes me?

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Source: ShutterStock

Two words: run away. Seriously. This guy sounds like a jerk and you deserve to be treated waaaayyy better than this.

I’m not surprised that you’ve heard that when guys are mean to you, that means they like you. I think we were all told this when we were little kids – whenever a boy was picking on you at school and you complained about it to an adult, he/she probably said something along those lines. Here’s the thing, though: while this is sometimes true for very young, immature boys with a little crush, it’s not true for older dudes who really do have feelings for you. 

Yes, your average teen boy full of hormones who doesn’t know how to deal with feelings may tease you or bully you a little bit if he likes you. But he most likely wouldn’t take it this far, especially if he’s already hung out with you and hooked up with you. This isn’t harmless and annoying teasing to try to get your attention – this is being genuinely mean, rude and insensitive and it’s not cool.

It sounds like this guy is way too immature to handle any sort of relationship right now. He’s into hooking up with you, but it doesn’t seem like he wants anything more than that. It also sounds like he has a crush on your best friend and it’s totally not okay for him to keep rubbing this in your face. If he likes your BFF, he never should have hooked up with you in the first place. Also, he shouldn’t be telling you about it and he definitely shouldn’t be comparing you two! That is NOT okay. He’s acting like a jerk and not a jerk who just doesn’t know how to tell you he likes you – he’s a jerk who thinks he can treat you however he wants.

So, here’s what I think you should do: stop talking to and hanging out with this guy ASAP. You don’t deserve to be compared to your best friend by a dude who knows you have feelings for him. When a guy likes you, he’s not going to purposely make you feel bad about yourself (unless he’s 12-years-old). He’s going to go out of his way to talk to you, hang out with you and make you feel good all the time. If a guy is into you, he’s not going to tell you he thinks your best friend is hot. Plain and simple. Let this dude go and find someone who will give you the respect you deserve.

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

Scared to have sex? Read this now!

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Before you commit to this idea, keep in mind that playing hard to get is a totally different ball game than plain old flirting. Playing hard to get is all about staying mysterious and playing mind games. While I would normally tell you girls to be honest about your feelings and to go after what you want, this advice is going to be a little different. It might sound a little out-dated and kind of annoying. And to be honest, playing hard to  get can be really difficult – acting like you don’t care when you actually do is tough! But, hey, a lot of people swear by it, so you might as well give it a try, right? Read on for 10 tips on how to play hard to get:

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Don't Focus On Meeting Someone

In other words, don't be desperate to be in a relationship. First of all, that's only going to make you feel kind of miserable and second of all, people can sense desperation and... it's not the most attractive quality out there. There's no reason to focus on when you're going to meet your next boyfriend. When it's supposed to happen, it will happen. Until then, just focus on you.

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Be Confident

I feel like I write this at least one a day, but dudes dig confidence. Actually, people in general dig confidence. And being confident and strong is a huge part of playing hard to get. You want to make this person like you and one way to do that is by being confident that you're awesome enough to be chased after. You know what I mean?

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Be Vague When Talking To Him

Don't go into full detail whenever you're chatting with your crush - leaving out some stuff will make you seem a little bit more mysterious, which is another huge part of the hard to get game. When you don't give everything away, it will make him want to - and need to - try harder to get to know you better. For example, if he says, "How was your weekend?" be like, "It was fun, I hung out with some friends." Don't be like, "It was awesome, I woke up late, went to the mall, had lunch with my mom..." Get it? He'll be left wondering who exactly "some friends" were and what you guys did.

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Wait A While Before Answering

If he texts you, don't send your answer literally five seconds afterwards. Even if you really were sitting around waiting for your phone to go off, you want it to seem like you're too busy doing other stuff to answer. There's no need to wait, like, three hours before giving a response, but make him sweat it out for about 30 minutes. He'll start wondering what you're doing and why you're not answering and that's sort of intriguing.

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Say No Sometimes

I hate, hate, hate the "three day rule," but I do agree that sometimes you need to say no when a guy asks you out. If you two have hung out twice already in one week and he asks what you're doing Saturday, be like, "Oh, I can't, I already have plans." Saying no makes him realize that he's not the center of your world and it makes him wait a little, which will just up the excitement of getting together. Plus, it's a benefit for you too: it lets you have a life of your own!

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Don't Go Too Far Too Fast

There's nothing wrong with having hooking up on a first date and I'm definitely not trying to shame anyone who's done it. But if you're looking to play hard to get, then your strategy is that you want to leave him wanting more. So, instead of going all the way right away, tease him a little bit. Draw things out and take things slow. Not only will this drive him crazy (in a good way), but it will also help you guys get to know each other better before you do the deed.

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Don't Tell Him How You Feel

What I really mean here is be coy. Let this guy know you're into him subtly, but don't say it outright right away. Make him wonder how you really feel. I almost always encourage you guys to be honest and so this is kind of hard for me to write. But a lot of guys out there like a chase and this will be part of giving them one.

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Flirt With Others A Little Bit

Be careful with this one. You don't want to go overboard on the flirting - so, probably not a good idea to be cuddling on the couch with a random guy right in front of your crush. Instead, flirt more subtly when he's around or you know he's watching. Giggle at what someone else says or touch their arm when talking. Tiny gestures like these are something he may notice and it might end up making him a little jealous.

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Don't Be Too Cold

This is pretty important. There's a fine line between playing hard to get and just being really cold and stand-offish. You want this guy to chase you, but you don't want to make him think you're not interested at all. Don't ignore him completely, give him only one word answers, make out with other guys right in front of him or refuse every date. Just be wary of pushing him away too far. Ugh, this is so complicated.

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Do Your Own Thing

Remember how I said before that you shouldn't seem too desperate? This is similar - you should live your own life! Show him that you don't need him to be happy. Hang with your friends, pursue your interests even if they're not his interests and be confident about it. He'll like that you're independent and not clingy.

Source: ShutterStock

Do you ever play hard to get? Do you think it works? Are you going to try any of these tips? Tell me in the comments! 

Are you good at playing hard to get? Quiz it!

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I mean, how are you supposed to sit in class like everything is fine when everything is NOT fine? How are you supposed to act like nothing is going on when secretly you’re head over heels in love with your teacher?! Crushing on a teacher isn’t always fun – sometimes it just kind of stinks. Here’s exactly what it’s really like, explained in GIFs:

You walk into a new class, all miserable, thinking about how much you can’t wait to go home.

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It’s just like… 

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Then… you see your teacher. And he is hot. 

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It’s basically love at first sight. 

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Then he starts talking – he’s funny, he’s cool and he’s nice. What more could you want?

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When he smiles at you, it’s like… 

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Over the next few weeks, you develop the biggest crush EVER on him. 

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Class doesn’t seem so bad after all. In fact, you’re actually looking forward to school. Who are you?! 

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Your friends are all like: 

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But you’re not joking – your feelings feel real.

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You start participating in class all the time just to impress him.

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You constantly zone out staring at him and then embarrass yourself.

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Sorry, you were daydreaming about this happening: 

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Oh, extra credit work after class? Sure, no problem!

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Whenever he talks to you, you just want to be like: 

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In fact, you like your teacher so much, you can’t even focus on the dudes your own age.

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Should you tell him?

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Should you make a move?

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One day, his girlfriend stops by to drop something off and it’s like… 

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You wish you could stop crushing on this dude. 

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But you can’t!!!!

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In the end, it’s just like…. HELP 

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Have you ever had a crush on your teacher? Do you have a crush on a teacher right now? What is it like? Tell me in the comments!

10 awesome fictional teachers

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You know what I’m talking about. When you’re crushing on someone, they only need to do something super small to put a huge smile on your face. And, let’s face it, feeling that giddy and in love is pretty amazing. Here are some of the best feelings in the world when it comes to your crush: 

When he/she smiles at you during class. 

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When he/she laughs at one your jokes. 

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When he/she notices your new haircut.

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When he/she tells one of your friends he/she thinks you’re cute.

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When the teacher assigns seats and you guys end up sitting next to each other. 

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When he/she gives you a hug. 

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When he/she likes your new Facebook profile picture. 

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When you two develop an inside joke. 

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When he/she texts you good morning. 

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When you him/her outside of school and he/she actually says hi to you. 

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When you two end up having a really awesome conversation about something. 

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When he/she comments on your Facebook wall or status. 

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When you get to wear his/her sweatshirt. 

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When he/she says something you know you didn’t tell him/her… that means they were stalking you! 

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When you catch him/her looking at you. 

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Which of these feelings is your favorite? Has your crush done any of these things to you lately? What did I miss? Tell me in the comments!

What crushing on your best friend is REALLY like

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Three really is a crowd!
Source: Shutterstock

Hi Shallon,

I like this guy in my grade and he’s told me he likes me, we go out sometimes and have made out. The problem is, he has a girlfriend. He says he’s not in love with her and doesn’t like her…so why won’t he just dump her and be with me? I don’t understand!!

–Lizy

Dear Lizy in a Love Triangle,

Oh, Lizy. I have been where you are – many times – and it never ends well. Lemme tell you a story: a few years ago I was an editor at FHM magazine (before it folded) and was regaling my poor 20-year-old male intern with my love life woes. I was dating a guy, Cory, who had a GF, but he CLEARLY liked me more. I went into needless detail, a 20 minute saga, insisting that my situation was complex and so different from the trillions of other girls who have fallen for a taken man.

Finally, at minute 26, Carlos put up a hand to silence me.

“Shallon,” he said sternly, “he’s just a jerk who likes having two girlfriends. Period.”

BOOM! CRACK! KAPOW! A huge lightning bolt hit me. He was SO RIGHT. Of course! Of course he just plain liked having two girls to fawn over him! And guess who was stopping him? NO ONE. I certainly wasn’t – I continued to date/sleep with him knowing he was taken. And his GF probably had no idea.

Carlos continued: “I mean, what is really stopping him from dumping his girlfriend? They aren’t married or living together. No kids. No joint car or pet. It doesn’t get any easier than that.”

Again, huge epiphany. I (and I’m sure a lot of you) have been dumped with one quick text, one brief phone call, one 5-minute meet up. It’s really not that “complicated” at all, despite what Cory wanted me to believe.

Yeah SORRY I’m not waiting around for you!
Source: WENN

The point it: neither is your situation. I wish that your dude was a good guy who could just pick one girl but listen: he’s not. He’s not a good guy. He’s a jerk who likes having two girlfriends. He likes it now, and he’ll like it when he’s older, too, and probably when he’s married. That’s just how he is.  You can’t change it. But you CAN change your behavior. Cut him off. No texts, no nothing. Cold turkey. Draw the boundary and DO NOT CROSS IT. It will be hard, it will be painful, but it will also be the best possible decision you can make.

And remember: if they cheat with you, they’ll cheat on you. And don’t we deserve more than that?

XOXO,

Shallon

Want me to give you advice? Feel free to leave your love Qs in the comments or drop me an email to AskShallon@gmail.com and follow me on Twitter and Instagram @ShallonXO

Why won’t my friend with benefits date me?

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Is this how your FWB makes you feel?
Source: Shutterstock

Dear Shallon,

There’s this guy who is my “friend with benefits” and I feel like he likes me but he just won’t ask me out–is he shy or what? Why won’t he take things to the next level?

–Stephanie

Dear So Not Getting It Steph,

He’s not asking you out because… why would he? I hate the old adage “Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free,” but it’s really true. Why would he ask you out when you’re giving him sex (or maybe BJ’s or whatever it is) with ZERO effort on his part?

Here’s the thing: to a guy, a girl falls into one of three categories:

1. Girlfriend (or girl you’d like to seriously date)

Don’t get mad, get smart about what a category you’re in!Source: Shutterstock

2. Friend (or girl you have no sexual attraction to)

3. Booty call (girl who you’re sexually attracted to but there isn’t anything else)

So, if you’ve locked yourself into the Booty Call category, you’re stuck. It may seem like he like likes you, but he doesn’t. He likes the fact that you hook up with him. And he knows that he needs to turn on the charm to ensure that that keeps happening.

Basically, write this guy off as a dude you want to date. In fact, NEVER, EVER become a FWB with a boy you’re legit interested in–it’s never going to transition to that, I don’t care what some lame episode of Girls tells you. That total BS will drive you slowly insane.

Instead, pick a hot, fun guy to be your hookup buddy. Get your sexual energy out on him so that when you do meet a BF-quality boy, you’re not overrun with hormones and put out too soon. But the biggest bit of advice I can give is that putting out DOES NOT MAKE A GUY LIKE YOU. In fact, if a boy wants to seriously date you, giving it up ASAP whenever he wants tells him that you’re just a good-time girl and not looking for a relationship.

I’m not opposed to having a side piece–if I’m at all semi-decent in bed it’s because of my college FWB!–but lying to yourself about what you really want from the guy is only going to break your heart!

XOXO,

Shallon

Want me to give you advice? Feel free to leave your love Qs in the comments or drop me an email to AskShallon@gmail.com and follow me on Twitter and Instagram @ShallonXO

I don’t want to hook up, but I feel pressured to – help!

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So, how would you describe your relationship with your crush? I have a feeling that at least one of these tweets will ring true for you. Check out my 25 favorites:

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Talk About Your Crush Night

Best Friends quote EVER.

Talk About Your Crush Night

In case you guys can't read the tiny letters, the light blue color means: "Lurk from a distance and stalk them every day in school, imagining a relationship with them." Yup, accurate.

Talk About Your Crush Night

I can always appreciate a good Freaks & Geeks quote, especially this one.

Talk About Your Crush Night

Evil sloth is evil.

Talk About Your Crush Night

What's REALLY better than peanut butter?

Talk About Your Crush Night

Yes, I have to agree... she is the best.

Talk About Your Crush Night

It's getting a little raunchy on Twitter right now, guys.

Talk About Your Crush Night

What? This isn't normal?

Talk About Your Crush Night

It's fine. IT'S FINE.

Talk About Your Crush Night

Soooo this one might have made me tear up just a little bit. Don't judge me!

Talk About Your Crush Night

Nooooo, don't ever give up hope!

Talk About Your Crush Night

We've all been there, girl.

Talk About Your Crush Night

Sleep soundly knowing this.

Talk About Your Crush Night

WHYYYY? Seriously, why?!

Talk About Your Crush Night

Oh, Spongebob. You always get me.

Talk About Your Crush Night

This is pretty cute, not going to lie.

Talk About Your Crush Night

Also, I really want to be lounging on the beach, but, um, I'm not.

Talk About Your Crush Night

Sad? Yes. Funny? Definitely.

Talk About Your Crush Night

Oh, refrigerator jokes. When will you get old?

Talk About Your Crush Night

Remember when I said what is really better than peanut butter? I found the answer to that question.

Talk About Your Crush Night

This... I love this.

Talk About Your Crush Night

Yeah. It's getting pretty serious.

Talk About Your Crush Night

Or, the more 2013 version of this meme applies also.

Talk About Your Crush Night

Mean Girls quotes. They never get old.

Talk About Your Crush Night

Sigh. Get outta there, Eva.

Which of these memes/tweets was your favorite? Which would you use to describe your crush? Tell us in the comments!

Here’s what not to do on a first date

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Source: ShutterStock

I’ve seen just as many crazy, ridiculous apps out there as I have really bad dating advice. And somehow, magically, this app manages to combine both into one huge tip on how NOT to get his attention. 

HowAboutWe.com posted a review of the app in question, called Equala, and I couldn’t resist letting you girls in on it. Equala is an app that basically connects to your Facebook profile and fills you in on what music other people are listening to. On Equala’s website, they market the app as a great way to “rely on your friends’ music to be the best radio station!” It would be an app you could use if you needed some new music, but weren’t sure where to look for it.

If Equala was just all about that, it would be fine. I mean, kind of stupid and pointless (you don’t need an app to see what music your Facebook friends like. All you have to do is… go on their Facebook), but fine. Except that’s not how they presented the app to HowAboutWe… and the issue I have with Equala is how it claims to help your dating life. 

The press release Equala sent to HowAboutWe suggests using the app as a way to get the attention of the guy you’re crushing on. Their way of doing that? By pretending to like the stuff they like, obviously. Here are the suggestions on how to get his attention from their press release:

Get familiar with his top jams. Listen [to them] yourself (or at least, pretend to).

Make sure you share on social media how awesomely amazing his favorite bands/songs are (discreetly, of course). 

When you see him next, use this musical insight as an icebreaker. For example, you cannot wait for their next show. You love the new single. You think their first album was absolutely epic in comparison to this one. 

Hook, line, sinker. He will be interested. Music is the way into a dude’s heart. (Um, sorry, since when?)

Ummmm. Where should I start? So many choices, so many choices.

Let’s see… while there is nothing wrong with using social media as a way to get to know your crush on your own, there is something wrong with pretending to like what your crush likes just to get his attention. News flash, Equala and anyone else who acts fake in order to get noticed: guys, and people in general, like individuality. No one likes when someone pretends to be someone they’re not just so they can get what they want.

Look, if you want to get a guy’s attention, don’t do this. Don’t pretend to like his favorite band just to impress him. Don’t talk about his favorite band to him like you’re sooo familiar with them when in reality you just looked up the lyrics to their biggest hit song two days ago. That’s not cool and it will probably backfire. Either he’ll know you’re not being honest and will be totally weirded out or he’ll eventually find out the truth and get totally weirded out. Either way – you end up looking lame. Do yourself a favor and stick to being passionate about what you like. A guy will be more into your confidence than into the fact that you like the same song.

Would you ever download this app and use it to impress guys? Do you ever pretend to like something your crush likes just to get his attention? Tell us in the comments. 

Is the Internet ruining your relationships?

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