Source: ShutterStock

When I was in high school, I dated a guy for about five years ( I know). As silly as it sounds, I barely ate in front of him when we first got together. I avoided dinner dates and stuck to “lady-like” foods like salads or picking at fruits when I was forced to eat so that I didn’t pass out. It was ridiculous.

As we got closer and more comfortable with each other, I let my guard down and actually started eating in front of him. My ex was relatively thin and could pretty much eat whatever he wanted without having to worry about gaining a pound. Me, not so much. Once I felt stable in our relationship, I started eating a lot. Like a lot. I figured, why should I care so much about my appearance? My guy loves me the way I am and he’s not going to leave me if I go up a few pounds.

Obviously, I gained a bunch of weight – and while my ex never said anything, it bugged me. I wondered if I was the only one who had gained weight once they were in a relationship, and I quickly figured out that I wasn’t. Over the years, I’ve watched many, many girl friends spend their single lives dieting like crazy, only to get into a relationship and gain all of that weight, and more, back. I’ve watched cousins get married and pack on the pounds. Basically, I’ve seen people literally transform once they get into a long-term relationship.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with gaining a little weight. It happens. It’s nothing to beat yourself up over. But I’ve always wondered: is there really a link between food and relationships? And apparently, yes, there is.

The Huffington Post recently spoke to a psychology professor Maryanne Fisher, who has done a little research on the subject. According to Maryanne, food and love are sort of linked in your brain. She says that in the beginning of a relationship, “Food is a way to display skills to a potential mate. You might buy nicer food, prepare better meals. It’s fascinating how it can be used as part of the relationship.”

TOTALLY TRUE. At least according to my love life. When I first started dating my current BF, I wouldn’t touch greasy chips or fries or candy in front of him – I wanted him to think I only ate healthy foods that are good for you. Why? I don’t know. I once watched my boyfriend wash down two jumbo Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups with a bag of BBQ pork rinds, so I don’t know why I felt the need to lie about my own eating habits.

Maryanne goes on to say that in the beginning of a relationship, people tend to eat less due to the fact that they release an abundance of “reward hormones”. These hormones make you happy and give you energy, and can sometimes suppress your appetite.

However, those hormones don’t stay up throughout the entire course of a relationship. The levels go up and down, and in extreme cases they can even cause obesity. Many other studies have found that people who are married or in long-term relationships are more likely to gain weight. Why? I can only imagine that it’s for the same reasons I gained weight: you feel comfortable and secure in your relationship and you don’t really feel like you have anyone to impress anymore. So you let things slide.

This all makes total sense to me and I’m sure it’s something that a lot of us can relate to. So I want to know: have you ever gained weight during the course of a relationship? Have you ever seen friends do it? Tell me in the comments!

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If you say “I feel fat” after hanging out, you need to talk about other stuff! | Source: ShutterStock

Everyone utters the dreaded “I feel fat” every now and then. But could your girls be the reason you sometimes feel down on yourself and have a negative body image?

A new study looked at 75 pairs of female BFFs and asked how often the pals chat about things like weight, exercising, weight loss, their appearances, and their relationships with food. Researchers also made a point to check if the gals had a healthy body image overall and what kind of pressures they felt from their friends about their sizes.

It turns out that the more time we spent talking to friends about things like weight, weight loss, or what we wish we looked like, the crappier we feel about ourselves–and the more likely we are to grumble, “I feel fat” later on. The research also indicated that our body image concerns are often mirrored in our friends’ own worries–so if you tell your bestie, “I feel fat,” she may wind up saying it right back to you. That’s no fun!

One of the researchers explained it like this: “Our research demonstrates that friends influence each other through at least three processes: perceived pressure to be thin; body-related talk; and perceptions. Although these perceptions are somewhat grounded in reality, i.e. they are close to the truth, they are more influential than reality.”

What that basically means? The more you guys mope and say “I feel fat,” the fatter you’re both going to feel–even if and when you’re not fat at all. (We think you’re hot, btw.) How do you get around this?

Simple. Instead of saying “I feel fat,” catch yourself and instead just tell your BFF, “You look awesome.” You’ll be deflecting attention off of yourself and making your pal feel amazing–and chances are she’ll return the favor. If you guys start talking about food or dieting, instead of saying how fat you feel, talk about how amazing you felt after your last workout, how beautiful Harry Styles is, or how delish your new red velvet cake recipe is. Because friends are supposed to build one another up and make each other feel better–not feel fat!

How often do you say “I feel fat?” What’s your response when a friend says she feels fat? Do your friends affect your body image? Tell us in the comments!

Is your BFF making you feel crappy on purpose? Here’s how to tell!

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Source: Will Alexander/WENN.com

Lady Gaga is used to making headlines about her appearance – I mean, this is a woman who wore a dress made out of meat, so actually, I think she kind of encourages those headlines. So it’s not very surprising that she’s been in the news for her recent weight gain, and it’s also not surprising that she’s talking about the issue. Recently, she opened up about it in an interview with Stylish UK… and this time, she brought another pop star into it.

In the interview, Gaga talks about hearing people discuss her weight and says, “When I heard it was on the news, where they talk about wars, the economy crashing and the election – I just thought, ‘This is f***ing ridiculous. I mean, what kind of example is that to a young girl sitting at home? I thought, well I don’t really care if they think I’m fat, because, quite honestly, I did gain about 30 pounds.”

Honestly, Gaga? You should have left it at that. I totally agree with what she’s saying here. It’s ridiculous that something as trivial as a celebrity gaining weight makes the nightly news, alongside actual important world issues. It is a terrible example for young girls, because it’s making such a huge deal out of something that shouldn’t even matter. So Lady Gaga gained some weight… who cares? She doesn’t look terrible, she doesn’t look unhealthy and she hasn’t committed any sort of crime. Why are we talking about it so much?

But then Lady Gaga had to say this: “Adele is bigger than me, how come nobody says anything about it?”

Source: WENN.com

Seriously? To me, that sounds like something a whiney little kid would say, tattling on their friend or sister so they don’t get in trouble by themselves. It’s as if Lady Gaga is saying, “There are people who are fatter than me, go make fun of them!”

I mean, yes, Gaga quickly tried to backtrack, saying, “She’s so wonderful and I think her confidence is something I have to match. She has set the bar very high for a lot of woman. I need to be a confident woman and just say politically active things when I can that are helpful to young people.” But for me, the damage was already done.

I think it stinks that Gaga had to bring Adele into the discussion. Just like I don’t care about Lady Gaga’s weight (like I said, she looks normal to me), I don’t care about Adele’s weight. I love her music, I love her and it doesn’t bother me that she doesn’t look like most other pop stars out there. And unfortunately, Lady Gaga is wrong – many people have criticized Adele for her weight, including Chanel designer Karl Lagerfeld.

In my opinion, there was no reason for Gaga to bring up Adele’s weight. In fact, I think that only contributes to the exact problem she’s complaining about. I think it’s great that Gaga is happy with her body and, despite the fact that I’m not a fan, I even think her Body Revolution is a good idea. But I hate the fact that she had to bring up someone bigger than her, just to take the spotlight off of her own weight. Not cool, Gaga. Not cool.

Do you think Lady Gaga’s comment about Adele was unfair? Or do you think she makes a good point? Do you care about her weight gain? Do you think she still looks good? Tell us in the comments!

10 GIF Reactions to Hollywood’s Hypocritical Beauty Standards

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Lady Gaga is running out of ways to shock us, so she’s resorted to … weight gain? | Source: WENN

Before we get into her weight gain (see photos here), let’s clear something up really quickly: Lady Gaga is probably the most calculating pop star on the planet. She started out as a marketing genius with really, really good hooks (and, in fairness, good pipes) and surprises up her sleeve. (Sort of like her frenemy, Madonna.)

However, after her album Born This Way failed to live up to everyone’s expectations (which isn’t to say it didn’t sell that well–thanks to an Amazon “fire sale” for super cheap, it did well in its opening week), Gaga had a hard time shocking everyone again. After the Jo Calderone thing, rolling up to the Grammys in an egg, the collabo with Queen Bey, what was really left to do? Be normal?

Gaga’s currently on her Born This Way Ball tour in Europe, and she’s spent a good amount of time in Amsterdam, where she was looking meatier than she did when she wore, well, the meat dress, and “experts” are saying she’s gained between 25 and 30 pounds. (We think it’s worth it to note that Gaga’s only 5’1″, so any weight that she gains or loses probably looks like more than it would on someone taller, like Katy Perry or Taylor Swift.)

Now, people lose and gain weight all the time. That’s not a big deal, and the fact that people are talking about Lady Gaga gaining weight is pretty absurd in itself–but we actually think that’s what Lady Gaga wants.

Don’t believe us? Consider this. Gaga’s got trainers and an entire team of pros who work with her, so despite likely having the munchies and perhaps not eating as healthily on tour as she does at home, it’d be hard for her to gain that much weight without it being at least somewhat deliberate. In addition, Gaga’s still wearing the same barely-there stage getups that she did when she was thinner. To be fair, this could be for a number of reasons: It may take a while to get new costumes made and sent to her dates, she may be in denial, whatever. But we’re pretty sure it’s for attention, because everything Lady Gaga does, says, wears, and sings is for attention.

Think about it: When’s the last time she did something that really surprised anybody? That whole furgate with PETA? Please. No one even batted an eye when she wore burquas around.

Lady Gaga has previously said things like “Pop stars don’t eat” and admitted to having an eating disorder when she was younger, so we’re not saying her weight gain is a laughing matter nor is it a big deal. We’re just saying that she probably wants it to be a big deal, because then it would mean that she’s still relevant. And considering that she has a perfume coming out and that her last few singles didn’t chart so well, it sounds like she’s taking what she can get.

We have a better idea for Lady Gaga. How about just releasing a good song from ARTPOP with minimal fanfare, pandering, and pretentiousness? That’s shock the pants off of all of us.

Do you think Lady Gaga gained weight for attention? Do you think Lady Gaga can surprise us anymore? What’s the most shocking thing you think Lady Gaga can do next? Tell us in the comments!

Who else wore a meat dress?!

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Fighting over weight? Not too cool.

srgal23 asked:
I’ve been with this guy for 4 years and now he wants me to lose weight. When we got together I was about 210 pounds and a size 14. Today I’m around a 6/8. My skinniest was a size 4 but I allowed myself to put on a little weight because I did not look healthy. I’m having a difficult time with it because I’m not unhappy with my body but I also don’t want to lose him over something so dumb. It seems petty that this is what we fight about. He is thin and fit, I’m a little out of shape but not a blimp. What do I do?

hero_of_the_day replied, saying:
What were his exact words?

I, personally, like to keep in shape and eat healthy and blah blah. I’d prefer my man to do the same. If I noticed him gaining a lot of weight, I might say something. I wouldn’t say “get skinnier for me or it’s over!” but I would kindly ask him to work out with me or start eating healthier for his own sake.

bexx18 replied, saying:

There's no need to stress over the scale to please people.

that’s ridiculous … as long as your healthy and comfortable in your body, you shouldn’t have to change for anyone. I’m not saying break up with him, but you should tell him that you feel healthy and comfortable now and that he should love you for who you are not how you look, even if you are drop dead gorgeous, or fat and unhappy.

So what do we think about this? Well, in this situation, we’re going to have to agree with bexx18. It’s one thing for your sweetie to ask you to lose a few pounds if you’re overweight and unhealthy. But it’s another thing if your sweetie asks you to do that when you’re at a perfectly healthy weight. No one should ever change the way they look just to please someone else, no matter how long you’ve been dating. There’s nothing wrong with your sweetie giving you a little extra motivation, but pressuring you to lose weight is just not cool.

The bottom line is this: if you’re happy and comfortable with your body, then that is all that matters. If your guy loves you for you, he’ll understand. If not? You’ll find someone who does.

Who do you agree with? Have you ever been in a similar situation? What kind of advice do you have for this gURL? Tell us in the comments.
Lose Weight

Here’s what Kelly had to say about a picture of Christina during a recent episode of her show Fashion Police:

“Maybe she is just becoming the fat bitch was she was born to be. I don’t know. She was a c**t to me. And she bought my house! She called me fat for so many f***ing years, so you know what? F*** you. You’re fat too.”

WDYT? Is it ever okay to make fun of someone because they made fun of you first? Is Kelly just defending herself or is she being hurtful? Have you ever had a similar feud? Share your thoughts below.

Let’s find out…

|Wanna talk about losing, gaining, loving, hating, everything about your weight? Get talkin’ on the Shout Out Boards!|

According to Jezebel, researchers found that 16% of gURLs would trade a year of their life, 10% said they’d trade two to five years, 2% said they’d trade 10 years, and 1% said they’d give up 21 (!!!) whole years of their life just to have the “perfect body.”

WDYT? Would you give up any time to have your ideal body for the rest of your life? How much? Leave your numbers (or lack thereof) in the comments or on the Shout Out Boards.

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Dear Heather,
I’m 17 and I’m really skinny. I weigh a little over a hundred pounds. I really hate my body sometimes and I can’t even wear the clothes that I really want to because I feel so ugly in them. My legs and arms are like twigs and I have a really slim torso. I’m always wearing jeans because it seems like every time I show off my legs, I get a lot of stares. I just don’t feel comfortable with my body AT ALL and I really want to gain weight. I want to gain at least a little weight by prom (which is in a month) so I won’t look like a complete anorexic twig in my dress. Also, for future purposes, so I can wear the clothes that I like and not jeans all the time. Is there any way I can gain some weight?

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

more ways to get gURLy:

• Pearls of wisdom, survey q’s, polls, quotes to live by — it’s all on gURL.com’s Twitter. Follow us!
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• Let’s talk. Shout Out advice, music, politics, poetry, your style and MORE!
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• Bored? Take new quizzes and play gURL games!