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How To Know Who To Trust: Go For The Baby-Faced Dudes

Jessica Booth — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 22:30:52 +0000

So, this is pretty random. A recent study found that guys with baby faces are seen as more trust-worthy than guys with more… manly faces? I don’t know. But apparently if people are wondering how to know who to trust, they’re most likely going to go for the dude with a baby face.

A small study in the Czech Republic discovered this by having people look at a group of 40 men and 40 women and rating them based on their levels of trustworthiness, as well as a few other factors. The majority of people rated guys with baby faces as being more trustworthy, but the same didn’t hold true for women. This was a small study concentrated in only one part of the world, so let’s take it with a grain of salt, but I still think this is pretty interesting.

What exactly is a baby face? This article from the Huffington Post describes it as “bigger mouths, broader chins, bigger noses and more prominent eyebrows.” Hm. That’s kind of a lot to look for in someone, but I guess our brains register this information without us even realizing it. The baby faced guys who were seen as more trustworthy in this study also had a more cheerful face, which makes a lot of sense to me. If you’re trying to decide who you can trust, you’re probably going to go for the dude with a smile on his face rather than the one who looks angry at the world.

Does this mean you should always trust guys with baby faces? Um, probably not. This study didn’t find that men with baby faces are more trust-worthy, just that they seem more trust-worthy. Technically, baby faced dudes could kind of start using this to their advantage, but I’m going to trust that they won’t stoop so low.

After taking all of this in, I only have one question: is Ryan Gosling’s face considered a baby face? What about Zac Efron? Because, I don’t know, I just have always felt like I could maybe really trust those guys. You know? I’m not even kidding here, I’m being really serious. I’m curious! I’m definitely going to have to start paying attention to facial features on guys I deem worthy of my trust. Anyone else?

What do you think about this study? Do you think it’s ridiculous or interesting? What makes you see someone as trustworthy? Tell us in the comments.

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I Almost Cheated On My Boyfriend

Gurl — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 20:00:37 +0000

I was so close . . . | Source: Shutterstock

I’ve been with my boyfriend for over three years and he is amazing. He is so good looking that I envy him; he has a personality that charms everyone I introduce him to; and he loves me more than anything. But even with all of these incredible qualities, I almost cheated on him.

I feel ashamed to admit it, but I really think that other girls might be able to relate. I’m not sure if it was because things were going too perfectly that I got a little bit bored or because it just felt nice to get attention from another guy. It was a different kind of attention, an undercover kind of attraction. It felt risky and made my heart race.

Two years ago, I was taking a summer Spanish class and that’s where I met the other guy. He was one of those mysterious-sexy kinds of guys; he played drums in an indie band and always picked me to team up with during partner activities. I told him I was in a relationship but he continued to compliment me on things that my boyfriend had just gotten used to I guess, after being together for so long.

We would hang out after class, and study together before quizzes. I liked talking to him but I felt kind of dirty afterwards. I don’t know how else to describe it. My boyfriend would ask why I was so late coming home from class and I’d tell him I was just doing homework with a group or going over a graded test. I never told him about the other guy because I knew he would be hurt and probably jealous.

Towards the end of the summer, my boyfriend went on a two-week family vacation to Europe. The other guy had become really persistent about the two of us hanging out together since our class was over. Now, I had no excuse not to.

I don’t know why but that night I tried on what seemed like hundreds of outfits before I settled on one that I thought made me look sexy but also low key. Why was I trying so hard to impress this guy when I already had a boyfriend of my own? At his house he had his whole band over for practice; the music was flowing and so were the drinks. He never left me alone and introduced me to all of his friends as “his girl.” I kind of liked it.

I can’t believe I was on his bed! | Source: Shutterstock

Towards the end of the night, we ended up alone in his bedroom. I was sitting on his bed and he was on the couch across from me. I was feeling the drinks from earlier and I think he could tell that my guard was down. He moved nearer to me and put his hands on my knees.

His face inched closer and closer to mine, until they were less than a foot apart. I moved back onto the bed, with my weight on my elbows. I’m still not sure if I did it because I wanted to lay with him or to back away from him—but he assumed the former. He moved on top of me and pushed his head into the crook of my neck.

As soon as I felt his lips, wet and warm on my skin, I knew I had done something awful. What was I doing, alone with this guy in his room? His hands were moving across my skin leaving a trail of shame and discomfort on my body. I had to get out of there. I pushed him off of me, got up off of the bed and hurried towards the door. Without looking at his face I said, “I’m sorry, I can’t,” and walked out of the room.

I felt disgusted by myself, even though I had stopped everything before the situation got out of control. I knew that I would never cheat on my boyfriend. That heart-racing feeling that I felt when I talked to the other guy just wasn’t worth losing my boyfriend over. Not at all. I ended up telling my boyfriend everything when he got back from his trip. He was upset, as I knew he would be, but at least things hadn’t gone any further. Every once in a while I get a text from an unknown number in Spanish asking if I still have a boyfriend. I know it’s the other guy, but I never respond. I love my boyfriend and being with him is not something I ever want to gamble again.

Have you ever cheated on someone you were dating? What do you think about girls who cheat? What about guys who cheat? Tell me in the comments!

Would You Ever Forgive A Cheater?

From The Message Boards: Would You Date A Cheater?

Jessica Booth — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 19:00:36 +0000

Would you give him a chance? | Source: ShutterStock

We’ve all heard the saying: “Once a cheater, always a cheater“. According to some people, cheating is never a one-time offense. Sure, there might be some guys and girls out there who are serial cheaters, but can you really say that that applies to everyone? If you knew a dude cheated once before, would you ever trust him enough to date him?

And what about if that dude was cheating on his last girlfriend… with you? If he broke up with her to date you, would you be able to go into a relationship with him knowing exactly how he deceived his last GF? We found a girl in the message boards who’s wondering the same thing, and we want to know your opinion. So read what these ladies had to say, and then tell us: would you date a cheater?

Yakubutsu said:
I’ve heard so many people say things like: “If he cheated WITH you, then he’ll probably cheat ON you.” or “Once a cheater, always a cheater…”

Say it was not in his/her track record to do so, and this was a one time thing when you were both very drunk, one of you upset from a break up and it just happened…if the guy/girl in question ended things with their partner and admitted to liking you straight afterwards or down the line… would you ever date them?

Brad supposedly cheated with Angie on Jen... now they're happily together. | Source: IrishCentral

S0Exciited said:
I’m there now. I’m dating the guy who cheated with me (and others). I’m a total believer in bad karma and I think the whole “If he’ll do it to her, he’ll do it to you too.” thing can be true sometimes. I just try to give this relationship the benefit of the doubt and hope for the best.

Dixienerves said:
If I’m honest my boyfriend that I am with now cheated on someone with me. I know he’s cheated in the past. No one is a saint. I mean I’ve cheated and I’m not proud but believe if you find the right person you can change.

Our opinion? Yes, it’s true that some cheaters cheat again. But it’s also true that people make mistakes sometimes, and those mistakes shouldn’t be held against them their whole lives. That being said, if you want to date someone who’s cheated with you or cheated in the past, you should still be cautious. There’s no need to stalk them or restrict them from talking to any other girls. Just keep your eyes open and don’t forget the past.

When you know someone has cheated before, the main problem is usually about trust. If you can’t trust someone, your relationship is never going to be as strong as you want it to be. So if you think you can move past that issue, than go for it.

Who do you agree with? Have you ever dated a cheater? Would you? Have you ever cheated? Tell us in the comments!

Are looks really important when it comes to relationships?

Survey: All About Trust

Jessica Booth — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 18:00:58 +0000

How could you not?! | Source: SodaHead.com

Trust Survey
Trusting people can be really, really hard – especially if you’ve been burned in the past. After all, when you put your trust in someone, you’re also putting yourself in a vulnerable position. But just because it can be risky doesn’t mean we should never do it… it’s important to be able to have faith in people! We know you all have a bunch of people in your life who you trust for different things… so tell us about your trust issues and who you believe in right here in this survey. Just copy and paste the questions into the comments and answer!

1. Quick – name one person you would trust with your life.

2. Do you trust people easily or are you more cautious?

3. Would you say you have trust issues?

4. Is there one person in your life (friends or family) who you would never, ever trust with anything?

5. Has anyone ever broken your trust?

6. Do you have a problem trusting boyfriends/girlfriends?

7. How well do you trust your family?

8. Do you think you’re a trustworthy person?

9. How many people do you tell all of your secrets to?

10. Do you have a friend who would tell you the truth about anything, even if it was mean?

11. How long does it take for someone to earn your trust?

Do you feel this way? | Source: Tumblr.com

12. Have you ever broken anyone’s trust before?

13. When it comes to trusting someone, do you give out second chances?

14. Which friend would you trust to keep your biggest secret ever?

15. Which friend would you trust to tell you your new dress doesn’t look good on you?

16. Do you think you can still feel close to someone you can’t trust?

17. What’s the easiest way for someone to break your trust?

18. Do you think trust is the most important part of a relationship?

19. Would you trust your best friend to be alone in a room with your diary?

20. Who have you trusted in the past who you don’t trust anymore?

Take more fun surveys right here
Trust Survey

How Can I Get Over My Trust Issues And Start Trusting Guys?

Jessica Booth — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 18:00:24 +0000

How do you know when to take that step? | Source: TalesOfATaiTai

Learning To Trust

Hi Heather,

I have severe trust issues. Honestly, I haven’t even been in many relationships, but I’ve just witnessed growing up how my father and mother were in their relationship (he cheated), so I caught on and so forth. I want love and affection from a guy that cares about me. But I don’t trust them. I believe that all guys will cheat on me. I mean, do you actually think that there are some guys out there who doesn’t cheat? At all? Because I don’t. I just want to cry when I think about a guy cheating on me. That’s why I never give them a chance. I just don’t want to waste my time. Are there any good guys out there?? Help please.

Yes, there are guys out there who you can trust. I know it doesn’t seem that way right now, and I understand where you’re coming from, but you can’t make generalizations of an entire gender based on the actions of a few guys. Trust issues really stink, no doubt about it. Being seriously betrayed someone can be extremely hard to get over, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t possible.

Yup, pretty much | Source: Facebook.com

I’m sorry that your parents seem to have had a rocky relationship. Watching two people you love, especially your family members, go through a rough patch is really tough. I understand how it can make you feel like no one can be trusted. But the fact is, not every guy is like your dad – not every guy is going to cheat on their girlfriend or their wife. It’s easy to believe otherwise, thanks to high-profile celebrity scandals and going through real-life dramas like you did. But it’s really important for you to realize that not every guy is going to go behind your back and break your trust.

That being said, it’s true that a lot of relationships end in heartbreak, and the possibility of a guy cheating on you and betraying you will always be there. Probably the toughest thing about going into a relationship is being put in a vulnerable position. But the thing is, if you never try, you’ll never know. If you never attempt to give anyone a chance, you’re only going to hurt yourself right from the beginning.

Like I said, trust issues are hard to get over, so take things slow. When you find a guy you like, be honest and open about your feelings. You don’t need to (and you shouldn’t) go into a relationship trusting someone completely – people, especially boyfriends, should have to earn your trust. Listen, I can’t promise that no guy will ever betray you, but I can say that every single guy isn’t going to betray you. The best thing you can do is take thing slow and give it time. Don’t go into something convinced he’ll cheat, but do be a little wary and keep your guard halfway up until you feel comfortable. Just make sure you give a few lucky boys a chance with you!

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

Should you be worried when a guy sends you one word texts?

Learning To Trust

Can You Keep A Secret?

Nina Fortuna — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 23:00:37 +0000

keeping secrets

Would YOU tell?

When it comes to keeping secrets . . . secret, are you as tight-lipped as a Ziplock bag, or do you spill the goods all over town?

Find out how good you are at guarding your friend’s secrets with this fun quiz!

What’s the biggest secret you’ve ever kept? Tell us in the comments!

Can’t get enough quizzes? Take another one now!

keeping secrets

Do You Trust Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend?

Gurl — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 17:37:34 +0000

Is your sweetie trustworthy?

Are You A Backstabber?

Gurl — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 17:08:29 +0000

Let’s face it — everyone’s been stabbed in the back or stabbed someone in the back at some point in their life. We’re not going to judge you either way, but are you more likely to do the stabbing or get stabbed (hypothetically, of course…you shouldn’t actually stab anyone). Are you the type of person people whisper “Watch out for her!” around or the one they prey on and then walk all over? Click through the quiz to find out!

I Feel Like I Can’t Trust Guys

Heather — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 15:09:39 +0000

This gURL can relate.

Dear Heather,

I am upset, because I would like a relationship, but at the same time, I am extremely afraid of being hurt after hearing my parents continually fighting. I am even more hesitant after hearing about my uncle cheating on my auntie. It seems I do not trust any guy enough to have a relationship with him.

It’s not easy to grow up listening to your parents fight and watching serious relationships fall apart. When you’re surrounded by those negative images, it’s easy to feel like every relationship is doomed. But while it’s normal to be scared of trusting people, it’s important to understand not every relationship is dysfunctional.

|Family or friends causing major problems? Rant about it in the Shout Out Boards.|

You don’t have to feel like you can’t trust any guy — every person is different. That being said, being able to trust someone is still a big step in every kind of relationship and you should feel free take things slowly. When you meet a guy you like, take your time getting to know him, and be honest and realistic with him about your trust issues once you feel comfortable.

|This gURL caught her dad cheating on her mom — now what should she do? Check out Heather’s advice.|

Keep in mind that trust is never an easy thing. But instead of focusing on the negative, think about all of the other great relationships in your life and learn from those. Were your grandparents in a healthy relationship? A friend’s parents? You’ll come to find that sometimes you might get hurt, but there will be plenty of times when you won’t. It’s a risk, but if you never learn to trust anyone, then you’ll miss out on a lot of really great moments in both relationships and friendships. And, on the bright side, you learn more about yourself when you open up to new experiences, even if they do end poorly.

WDYT, gURLs? Do you have trust issues? How do you let your guard down? Share your stories and advice below.

take care,

heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

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My Cousin Hates Me for Ratting Her Out

Heather — Wed, 04 May 2011 19:13:58 +0000

this can't be your first fight, right?

Hey Heather,
A little while back I got into a lot of trouble with a cousin of mine, who also happens to be my best friend. I had made a lot of decisions I now regret, including trying drugs. She however, did not regret it at all. She was actually continuing her use of marijuana, at school or not, weekday or not. It was always her choice and she didn’t care how it affected anyone else. No one else, according to her, had a right to tell her what choices to make, even though she knew no one else would like them.

I was recently caught by my parents for drinking alcohol and I broke down and told them everything. My mom told my Auntie, who then confronted my cousin. My parents, my grandparents, and my Aunt and Uncle, are extremely disappointed in both of us. Not to mention that now my and cousin/ best friend hates me for telling. I felt awful but she was always lying to her parents and the rest of the family. She put on an act all the time and I was afraid that one day she would be dead or disappear because of her choices, and even though I knew I never said anything. But at the same time I hate that I lost her, and that she’ll probably never be my friend again. I sent her a letter explaining, but I don’t really know how to move on. Because our families are very close and I don’t want to just avoid everyone.

I don’t quite know that I did the right thing, and I could have gone about it another way, but I have a hard time getting on. How am I going to move on? And how do I gain back the trust everyone lost for me?

It’s completely understandable that you were worried about your cousin getting seriously hurt — drinking and doing drugs can be so dangerous. Even though I know you might be regretting your decision now, you did the right thing by telling your family what was going on. When it comes to alcohol and drugs, you never know what the consequences might be. Telling her parents could help protect her from having something bad happen.

|Need help with addiction recovery? Get some love on the Shout Out Boards.|

As far as making things better with your cousin, it seems like she just needs some time to realize that what she was doing wrong and that she needed help. It’s pretty obvious how much you care about her and once she gets over this feeling of betrayal, she should realize that what you did really means you were being a good friend. Writing her a letter explaining everything was a great idea. Now all you can (and should) do is give her time and space to cool down. And since you two are related and will always be in each others’ lives in some way, there’s a great chance that you’ll be friends again soon.

As for your parents, the fact that you were so honest about your actions is the first step towards gaining their trust back. It may take a while for them to forgive your actions, but the most important thing to do is to just keep being honest with them. Let your parents know where you’re going when you go out, tell them details about your day and let them see that you’re trying to be open with them. Also, make sure you have genuinely apologized for what you did, and prove through your actions that you have changed your ways.

|Heather helps a gURL who never spends any time with her dad. What would you tell her?|

Good luck, be patient, and let me know how it goes.

WDYT she should do, gURLs? Have you ever lost your parents’ and your best friend’s trust? How did you gain it back? Share your stories and advice below.

take care,
heather

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