Wondering how to date a man you like? According to “The Rules,” you have to leave him hanging. Lame! | Source: ShutterStock

A while ago, a book called The Rules came out, and it was basically a guide on how to date a man. A completely stupid, pointless guide that set women back about 40 years. Now, in the world of Facebook, match.com, and the like, an updated guide is available to set us back 20 more years, making that a total of 60.

The gist of it all? “If you want a guy to like you, don’t do anything. Just exist.” And I mean, fine–you’re wonderful, and that should be enough. But “The Rules” explain that how to date a man is actually to appear almost totally uninterested. You can’t approach him first, you can’t IM him first, nothing.

This is problematic for a few reasons. One, it’s pretty pointless to not go after what you want and just expect things to come to you. Two, if you act like you’re not interested, guess what? Guys may well assume you’re not interested, and they’ll move on to someone who makes no mistake that they like him back. And three? Well, it’s boring.

To be fair, some of their rules on how to date a man are fair enough: We like their “No contact after midnight” rule, because, well, those are booty call hours. If you’re looking for a hookup, by all means–but if you want him to date you, it’s probably a good idea to wait til the AM to respond.

Thankfully, a lot of us are smart enough to not buy into this nonsense. A new survey says 79 percent of us take the “why wait?” philosophy and initiate contact with dudes we dig online, whether it’s through a friend request, a tweet, or whatever. However, 71 percent of ladies agree with the book, which says to wait half an hour before texting a guy back–and 10 percent leave a dude hanging for four hours. Seems sort of hypocritical considering it drives you nuts when guys do that to you, doesn’t it?

Basically, The Rules wants you to start a relationship–or rather, wants the guy to start a relationship–based on game playing. It doesn’t sound like a really solid foundation, does it?

Our advice? Ignore all the rules on how to date a man. The real guide to how to date a man who deserves you–and the least stressful method–is to just be yourself and treat a guy the way you’d want him to treat you!

Do you think The Rules is a good guide on how to date a man? Do you think a  guy should always make the first move?  Tell us in the comments!

Hopefully your guy is a legit nice one–not one of these “nice guys!”

And don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

This “nice guy” turned an okay night into a bad date when he went overboard with texting! | Source: Shutterstock

Thing is, he totally thought we were on a date. He put his arm around me during the movie, which was a little weird, but not gropey or gross, so I didn’t make a big deal out of it. (I did mention he was hot, right?) Afterward we grabbed food together–all four of us–and then Jim and I exchanged numbers. He seemed cool and we had a few things in common, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to see where it led. I figured anyone related to Joe, who was a legit nice guy–he’s one of my best friends in the world–was probably cool.

I headed home after that, a roughly 20 minute drive, because I was meeting my bestie for a late dessert date.

Here’s where it gets horrifying. When I pulled up to my friend’s house and got out my phone to let her know I was there, I had about 27 text messages. They were all from Jim.

The first messages were pretty sweet: “You’re so pretty!” “You’re really funny too.” “I liked your Chucks.” “I’d love to hang out again.” Aw, cute! Right? Well, so far.

Then they got paranoid. See, he went from a nice guy to a “nice guy.”

“Is this even the right number?” “Joe said this is really your number, so you must be ignoring me.” “What the Hell is your problem? I thought we hit it off.” “Did you block me from Facebook?” (I didn’t block him–I hadn’t been able to accept his friend request, because, you know, I was driving.)

Then they got nasty.

“I bet you’re one of the girls who likes guys who treat her like s***.” “That’s what I get for being a nice guy. I hope you’re happy with your life.” “Don’t crash into a pole or anything, b****.”

Thankfully, I didn’t crash into a pole, because I was paying attention to the road and not my cell phone while I was driving. When I did accept his friend request on FB, I saw that he also posted about half a dozen statuses like this: “That’s what I get when I put my heart on the line.” “Love is such bulls***.” “No one wants a nice guy anymore, f*** it.”

Remember what I said about “nice guys” a while ago? I stand by my theory that they’re actually not all that nice. In fact, someone of them are flat out crazy. And maybe that’s why no one wants “nice guys” anymore!

Have you ever had a bad date? Has a guy ever gone crazy after one date with you? What would you do if you got texts like that after one date with a guy? Have you ever had a nice guy turn into a “nice guy?” Tell us in the comments!

These “nice guys” don’t even know that it means to be nice!

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Instead of just staying huddled up indoors wondering “When will the world end?”, I imagine that if this does happen to be the end of the world, people are going to have a lot to say to feel like they are totally at peace to move beyond Earth. Whether it be guilty confessions, spontaneous YOLO plans or one last chance to really tell someone what you REALLY think, we’ve imagined a few text messages you might want to shoot off before you lose cell phone service at the end of the world.

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Do you think the end of the world will be on the 21st? What sorts of things would you send out in text messages if you knew it was the end of the world? Tell us in the comments!

Ask A Guy: Do Guys Care If A Girl Texts Them First?

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Should you do it… or wait for him to make the move? | Source: ShutterStock

I tend to believe that assigning dating “jobs” to specific genders is a thing of my parents’ (or even their parents’) age, so I don’t think it’s necessarily a guy’s responsibility to open communication. And, as I wrote a few weeks ago, we love it when girls take initiative. Whether you’ve yet to go on a date, or have been hooking up for months, you should totally feel free to text him first. If the guy is into you, he’ll simply be psyched to hear from you.

Now, how and when you follow up from the initial contact is another story. I don’t believe in playing games once you’re in a relationship or have established some sort of exclusivity, but a little bit of mystery can only make things more exciting. You don’t have to adhere to any crazy hardfast laws (we’ve all heard of the “Three Day,” “One Hour,” or “Make Him Suffer” rules when it comes to returning a guy’s phone call), but it’s especially important in the opening weeks of any budding romance to be aware of pacing. This is absolutely crucial! For any relationship to take off, you must both be aware of how much space to give or pressure to apply, depending on the signs each of you put out there.

I want to stress again that there is absolutely never any harm in making the first move–but when you’re not getting back what you’re putting in, you have to kick back and wait for the guy to pull his own weight. Furthermore, if you’re not finding his consistently lame-o responses of “k” satisfying, or he habitually takes the “Make Her Suffer” response-time rule to the limits, the guy just might not be right for you. Ultimately, you’ll know you’ve found a match when the flirtatious gameplay feels exciting and fun, rather than like Chinese water torture.

Good luck!
Ethan

Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of ActualConversation.com. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell.com…or call his mom, Robin.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!

How much do dudes care about a girls weight?

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Is sexting a bad idea? Probably. | Source: ShutterStock

Here’s the thing with sexting: it can be risky no matter who you’re sending those racy texts to. I’m not trying to sound like your grandma here, but the fact is, sexting is really easy to use against someone. The dude you’re sending scandalous texts or pictures to can hold onto those things forever – and once they’re on his phone, there’s not much you can do about getting them back.

Don’t get me wrong… there is nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting with a friend. In fact, that can be the best kind of flirting because there’s no pressure there. There’s also nothing wrong with having sexual moments with just a friend either. Exploring your sexuality is completely fine and totally normal – and doing that with someone you’re comfortable with rather than someone you don’t know very well is even better.

I’m not saying it’s wrong for you to sext a friend. I’m saying that you should be very careful with sexting in general, whether he’s your BFF or a dude you’ve been dating for four years. Is this a text only kind of sexting? Or are you also sending him naked and/or revealing pictures? Sending pictures is where it gets really tricky. We’ve all heard the unfortunate stories about girls who have naked pics who haunt them forever – and we’ve all seen our share of celebrity nudity thanks to hacked cell phones.

I know this may sound dramatic, but you need to make sure you’re not next in line. Is this a guy you can really trust? Even if he seems like the sweetest person ever, he could have a totally different side to him if you guys get in a fight or there are hurt feelings between you in the future. Like I said, once he has those pictures, he can potentially have them forever. That means that not only can he show whomever he wants, but it also means he could keep it and get off on it 15 years from now when you two don’t even speak anymore. Creepy, right? And what if he loses his phone and it winds up in the wrong hands? Then who knows where your pictures will wind up. Creepier, right?

If you’re going to sext, I’d say keep things as PG-13 as possible. I’m going to seriously advice you against sending naked pictures. It’s your body and you can do whatever you want with it, I just don’t want to see you getting hurt.

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

He sent me a picture of his penis – now what?!

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Other stuff you’ll love:

How to say you’re sorry [Hello Giggles]

One guy explains: Why I’ll act like a jerk if I break up with you [The Frisky]

Ryan Lochte’s biggest interview fails [HuffPost Teen]

The 10 commandments of being a good roommate [College Candy]

Kanye West calls Kim Kardashian his “perfect bitch”… um, ew? [Hollywire]

Is this the secret to why men cheat? [Your Tango]

Lucy Hale talks about having an eating disorder [Crushable]

19 food tips that will change your life [Buzzfeed]

50 reasons you don’t need a boyfriend to be happy [HerCampus]

Quiz: Which celeb nail design should you try? [Teen]

17 hot girls looking less than hot [Smosh]

What do guys really think about hair down there?

Here’s just one example why: In the latest chapter of Kristen Stewart Screwing Up the Best Thing She’ll Ever Have, I hear that she and brokenhearted boyfriend Robert Pattinson are only communicating via “heated” texts in the wake of her cheating scandal. I hate confrontation as much as the next girl but from my experience, feuding over SMS is a super bad idea. Check out these 10 reasons why you’d better off talking it out instead.

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11 signs he’s a cheater [College Candy]

10 awesome Draw Something creations [HuffPost Teen]

6 things men find irresistible [Your Tango]

Read a book to support Young Adult Literature! [iHeartDaily]

Zac Efron and Jimmy Kimmel have a hilarious bra unhooking contest – watch [Hollywire]

Have you seen the Most Offensive Forrest Gump meme yet? [Crushable]

5 celebrities who should delete their Twitters right now [Teen]

7 signs you’re in the friend zone [Smosh]

5 awesome birthday party ideas [How To Rock]

How to deal with a crush who’s totally unavailable

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Your phone is a crucial tool in communication…but it’s also a portal to more than one little white lie. How many times have you fibbed about why you had to get off the phone? Right. That’s exactly what I thought!

Read on for some of the funniest (but totally true!) things we’d say on the phone if we were being totally honest. Good thing nobody is!

Call Waiting

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She said: Uh oh, I think that’s my mom calling—gotta go!

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She meant: Khloe & Lamar is starting. Leave me alone.

Ignoring an Invitation

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She said: Oh no, I totally didn’t get that text!

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She meant: I totally did and totally did not want to go to spin class with you.

Why You Need to Get Off the Phone

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She said: Hey I’m actually walking into work right now, I’ll call you after my shift!

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She meant: I’ve been rambling on and get the feeling you’re about to start talking . . . so let me let you go.

Text From a Mystery Number

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She said: Sorry, dropped my phone last week—lost all my contacts! Who’s this?

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She meant: If I didn’t bother to save your number, it’s because I don’t really want to talk to you. Ever.

Not Listening to Voicemails

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She said: I think my VM is broken or something, I can’t check my messages!

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She meant: I hate getting your pointless voicemail! Do you really need to leave a message saying “Heyyy, it’s meeeee. Just, um, call me back. Ooook byeeee”?

Walking By Your Crush

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She said: “Hahah omg yes! Let’s totally go sailing this weekend!”

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She meant: There is actually no one on the other line. I’m holding up a dead phone to my ear just to sound cooler :/

What was the last excuse you gave when you “had to” get off the phone? Tell us in the comments!

On The Phone With Mom? Here’s What Not To Say!

This can kill your reception! | Source: ShopKami.com

Recently, some guy in Philadelphia anonymously told local news station that he was using a “cell phone jammer” on public transportation so he could get some peace and quiet. Now, the question on almost everyone’s lips was: What is a cell phone jammer?

A cell phone jammer is a device used to block mobile devices from receiving signals from their base stations. Cell phone jammers were originally designed for law enforcement and military use, so they could block communication between terrorists and criminals. They’re pretty common in prisons as well, where cell phones (obviously) aren’t allowed for inmates. Once the public caught on to the technology, many people–especially employers–wanted to use it themselves, especially in large cities where it seems everyone is always on the phone.

But how does a cell phone jammer work? I mean, this sounds like something out of a bad sci-fi movie, right? Well, they use antennas to send radio waves in the same frequencies that cell phones use. This causes enough interference to make cell phones within the immediate area of a cell phone jammer (which can be anywhere from 12 feet to even five miles, depending on the type) useless. Newer devices are tiny and often disguised as a pack of cigarettes. And they may be just as bad for you as smoking! How so?

Something illegal disguised as something harmful and gross. Sounds about right to us -- especially since they're both potentially deadly! | Source: ShopKami.com

On one hand, cell phone jammers in everyday life may seem like a pretty good idea: Who wants to sit next to someone on the train who’s yammering away to their doctor about the gross details of their last bowel movement? Wouldn’t you get more work done in the library or at your job if you stopped texting your best friend every two minutes? But when you stop and think about it, using a cell phone jammer is a dangerous idea.

Why? First off, they’re illegal in public places (though the FCC can waive the law for private use), because they can block emergency signals. The man on the bus in Philly probably didn’t think of what would happen if, heaven forbid, his bus were to crash and someone needed to call for help. If your boss used a cell phone jammer at your job and your store got robbed, it would not be a good situation!

How would you react if someone used a cell phone jammer on you? Do you think using a cell phone jammer could be beneficial, or that they should always be illegal? Sound off in the comments!

Now, Check Out These Top Rated iPhone Apps!
what is a cell phone jammer