Taylor Swift dating 13 guys in three years seems farfetched–and certainly doesn’t make her a slut. | Source: WENN

Taylor Swift has had a tumultuous and often public love life, and now she’s starting to get some unwarranted heat for it. A certain entertainment news correspondent tried to slut shame Taylor Swift over Twitter recently, and while we won’t validate this guy by linking you to his post or telling you who he is, we’ll sum it up: He compared Miley Cyrus‘ somewhat rebellious, loose reputation with Taylor Swift’s wholesome, All-American girl through their love lives. He pointed out that Miley’s been dating and is now engaged to the same guy for three years (the gorgeous Liam Hemsworth). He then pointed out that the Taylor Swift dating life that she’s so notorious for: a rumored 13 guys in the same three years.

Here’s why that’s a problem.

First of all, it’s no one’s business who anyone else has sex with. But since he’s making every effort to make it his business, we should point out that Taylor Swift probably hasn’t actually dated every single guy she’s been linked to in the press–where would she find the time? And even if Taylor Swift dated these dudes, that doesn’t mean she was sleeping with them (not that it would make a difference either way).

Of course, this all comes with a bit of irony. Taylor Swift herself was rumored to be slut shaming actress Camilla Belle in her lyrics to “Better Than Revenge,” rumored to be about ex Joe Jonas. She sings, “She’s an actress / But she’s better known for the things that she does on the mattress.” Not nice, Swifty! Hopefully she knows better now about how damaging that attitude is. Slut shaming in general is a way to keep women down–and when women do it to one another, it stunts our progress and growth twice as much. It’s just as bad as imaginary celeb feuds.

Having sex doesn’t make someone a slut, no matter how often she has it nor with however many lucky guys she as sex with. The only thing that creates a slut is a misogynist attitude and unwarranted judgment from others. Period.

The fact is, Taylor Swift, Camilla Belle, and Miley Cyrus are all adults and their sex lives are their own business. As long as they’re all happy, safe, and consenting, who cares what they’re doing and who they’re doing it with?

Okay, maybe Harry Styles cares. But that should really be it.

Do you think Taylor Swift has a good or bad reputation? Do you think it’s fair to compare Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift? Do you think slut shaming is fair? Tell us in the comments!

At least we know Taylor Swift is probably having safe sex!

And don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

Do you think this makes a girl look easy? | Source: ShutterStock

With Halloween right around the corner (because with Halloween comes many, many skimpy costumes), I decided that this message board post was the perfect topic of discussion. One girl wonders if wearing revealing clothing makes you seem easy to guys. It’s not the first time I’ve heard the question, and I know it won’t be the last. So let’s chat about it!

Do you think wearing revealing clothing makes you seem “easy” or “slutty”? Do you think guys think that? I say, girls should be able to dress however they want without having to worry about what a dude, or anyone else, thinks… but I know that’s not always the case. Read what these ladies had to say about it and then tell us your opinion:

mickey5499 said:
My whole life, I’ve been pretty well-endowed in the chest area, and I’ve always “out-boobed” (yes, out-boobed) my friends, and a lot of people in my school. And pretty often, actually basically all the time, the clothes I wear are revealing, as in they go down pretty low in the front, showing a lot of “boobage”. It’s not like I feel pressured by society to do that or anything; it makes me feel attractive and comfortable, so I usually don’t care.

But I have always had a lot of people asking me out; I guess I’m considered “hot” by a lot of guys. Which is fine by me, because even though some girls feel insulted by that, I take it as a compliment. But the thing is, sometimes I wonder whether guys want to be with me because my revealing nature makes them think I’m “easy” or something, or because of me. Do you think that if you wear clothes like that, guys take it to mean you’re “easy”? And any ways to know if a guy truly likes you for you?

skaitlin said:
I will be completely honest. Guys are wired to be visual. They see things and if they like it they go for it. So, if you are revealing a lot with your clothes, yes guys will notice, and yes they may want to pursue what they see. I am not saying that all guys are creeps or anything close to that. All I am saying is that guys are easily drawn to physical features. If you want to “weed out” the guys that only want something physical, then try to dress less revealing and see what happens. I am sure you are a lovely person inside and out. And you deserve the guy that will notice you for the person you are and your beautiful personality; and will appreciate your physical beauty.

Conservative or revealing, people will probably still talk. | Source: ShutterStock

I am one of those women that chooses to dress modestly. Some of my friends have told me that I am somewhat of a prude because I don’t show cleavage or wear mini skirts. But it is simply my decision to dress the way I do. To me, my body is something that I only want to share with the man that I marry. And my fiance is of the opinion that other guys shouldn’t be given the opportunity to see me in a purely physical/sexual way. My fiance is very respectful of me and my body because I set a standard and he respects me for it.

To each their own. How you dress is completely up to you. I am not trying to be judgemental or anything. I just want you to know that you have the choice to set a higher standard for the guys in your life. Like I said, not all guys are creeps. But all guys are visually wired. They will take notice.

and_all_that_jazz_x3 said:
Honestly, yes, there are probably a lot of guys who are asking you out because of your body and not your personality. However, I don’t see that as a reason to change how you dress. It’s unfair to assume that you are “easy” based on the size of your chest, something you cannot control and you have every right to dress how you feel most attractive. Guys, and people in general, need to stop making assumptions about people based on how they dress. If you are comfortable with how you dress then I say go for it – what you like is all that matters.

I love what both of these ladies had to say because here’s the thing: no matter what other people think or say, you should wear what you like, what makes you happy and what makes you comfortable. Unfortunately, people are going to pass judgement no matter what you wear – whether it be conservative clothing or something a little more skimpy. That’s why you should focus on wearing what you like rather than wearing what others think is appropriate.

The bottom line is that if a guy is going to judge you as “easy” just because he can check out your cleavage, he’s not a guy worth pursuing. Mature people should realize that there’s more to a person then just their appearance. So wear what you like, and don’t worry about what dudes have to say!

What do you think about revealing clothing? Do you wear it? Do you think it makes girls look “easy”? Do you agree with what we had to say? Tell me in the comments!

Dress like 10 of your fave cartoon characters!

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Does this REALLY make someone a slut?! | Source: ShutterStock

Check out what’s new on our boards! Right now, girls are talking about what makes someone use the word “slut”: 

JaneSmith said:

What makes someone use the label “slut” or “slag”? It’s a question I have been wondering about for a while now. What makes someone in another’s eyes a slut? Is it cheating, the amount of sexual partners they’ve had, the age of sexual contact, a way of dressing or acting ?

I find myself asking this question because I am a girl of 16 (still a virgin) and I have been in a relationship for three years now. Would having sex now get me the label slut? Because I am still not clear on what the definition of this label is.

Sara has a note in from a girl who had sex and then girls at school started calling her a slut. She wants to know what to do. Sara’s got a ton of advice for this girl. But first, a note to all girls: Drop the word slut from your vocabulary. We are all so over it! Gross, gross, gross! Now onto this girl, hold your head high, be proud of your decision, and don’t stoop to their level. Want more on how to deal? Then watch!

Have you ever been called a slut? What would you do if girls were saying you were a slut? Tell me everything in the comments!

Need To Talk To Your Guy About Sex? Here’s How!

Who is a slut? You? | Source: Shutterstock

Rachel, a seventh-grader at Kasson-Mantorville Middle School in Minnesota, was harassed pretty much incessantly: People put gum on her locker and textbooks, which is gross and stupid enough, but that wasn’t the worst she dealt with. Rachel was inexplicably deemed a slut by bullies at her school. They called her a slut to her face, they called her a slut behind her back, and, in what looks like it was the last straw for Rachel, they called her a slut in an anonymous mass text message that one adult recipient called “pretty explicit.” That’s who is a slut? A girl who gets harassed and picked on so much that it’s almost impossible to find the time to actually be one?

The day after that disgusting, cowardly slut-shaming text went out, Rachel killed herself. We have no idea what she did (if anything) sexually, and to be plain, it doesn’t matter. She was 13. Now she is dead.

You remember when you were little and you’d hear things like “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me?” In an ideal world, that would be true. But in an ideal world, we also wouldn’t have to deal with being called a “slut” all the time.

“Slut,” no matter how easily it rolls off the tongue and how difficult it is to find an appropriate substitute term, is an idiotic and sexist word. If a guy is perceived to have an active sex life, he’s applauded. If a girl is even rumored to have one–true or not–she’s looked down on. By using the word “slut” to demean other women, you’re effectively setting feminism back a few decades and encouraging not only intolerance and ignorance, but also a form of sexual harassment. If you wouldn’t be comfortable with that creepy guy in your gym class grabbing your ass, stop calling other girls “sluts,” “skanks,” and “whores.” You don’t know what kind of damage you might be doing with a word you claim to not take that seriously.

A mass text calling Rachel Ehmke a slut went out days before she committed suicide. | Source: Shutterstock

And those of you who comment here at Gurl.com (yes, we read those comments–keep ‘em coming!) and say that calling girls “sluts” is okay if it’s “warranted?” Just one question for you: Who the hell are you to think someone else’s body and sex life your business? We’re not just “done” with the word slut, we’re declaring war on it. It’s because of that word and other hateful statements that Rachel Ehmke took her life, and we’re not standing for it.

The point here isn’t how to determine who is a slut or who isn’t a slut. The point is that calling someone a slut is is dangerous to women everywhere, because it affects not only your intended target, but those closest to her, as well as society as a whole. Need proof? Google “honor killings,” and check out Rachel’s sobbing parents in this video. By encouraging and using words like “slut,” you’re encouraging devastating events like these to not only continue, but also become routine.

Have you ever called a girl a slut? If so, how do you determine who is a slut? Do you think calling someone a slut is sexist? Why would you call someone a slut? Tell us in the comments!

Do You Feel Overwhelmed By Drama And Mean Girls At School? This Might Help

Welcome our brand new sextastic sexpert, Sara Hoots! We’re so pumped to have her and hope you love her Sexy Times with Gurl advice. Now, onto the show…Sara got a question from a girl who wants to know how she can talk to her dude about sex without seeming slutty. Sara’s got some awesome advice. First off, drop the word slutty, girl. We’re so over it! And there’s nothing slutty about having a responsible convo about sex. For more, watch!

Have you had to talk to your guy about sex? How did the conversation go? Tell us all about it in the comments!

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