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Anyway, while I’ve been mourning the end of Harry Potter, it’s been thrilling to see Emma move forward and play awesome roles. She was fabulous in My Week With Marilyn, and she was everything in The Perks Of Being A Wallflower. Now, she’s starring in the upcoming Sofia Coppola film, The Bling Ring which I am literally dying over.

One of our favorite ladies, Tavi Gevinson, interviewed Emma Watson for Rookie Magazine and it did not disappoint. Tavi touches on feeling inadequate and insecure. Emma’s response is just, wow.

“It’s called the impostor syndrome. It’s almost like the better I do, the more my feeling of inadequacy actually increases, because I’m just going, Any moment, someone’s going to find out I’m a total fraud, and that I don’t deserve any of what I’ve achieved. I can’t possibly live up to what everyone thinks I am and what everyone’s expectations of me are. It’s weird—sometimes [success] can be incredibly validating, but sometimes it can be incredibly unnerving and throw your balance off a bit, because you’re trying to reconcile how you feel about yourself with how the rest of the world perceives you.”

Not that I want anyone to feel inadequate, but it’s really refreshing to hear someone like Emma Watson be open about it. She’s someone who you look at and just assume that she has it together all the time. It’s really comforting to know that someone who is successful still has times when they don’t feel 100% because no one is happy with themselves every second of everyday.

And I know exactly the feeling that Emma is talking about. It’s like no matter what you do, you always think you can do better or you think it’s just not enough. You’re wondering why people congratulate you or think you’re so great when you don’t quite feel that way yourself.

Impostor syndrome is a a real thing, too. You can’t accept your accomplishments or you think they’re because of chance instead of skill and hard work. I feel that way a lot and never knew it was an actual thing.

I don’t want Emma Watson to feel like she doesn’t deserve everything she’s achieved in her life, but I am so enamored by her for being so open and honest with us. I think this will help anyone who’s feeling even the slightest bit inadequate to realize they’re not alone in feeling that way.

Do you have impostor syndrome? Have you ever heard of it before? What do you think about Emma’s interview? Tell us in the comments!
 

Let’s hope Emma gets to play Belle in Beauty And The Beast!

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Which brings me to: slut-shaming is okay if she’s actually a slut, right?

WRONG.

When it comes to Farrah Abraham, I think Chrissy was trying to say that Farrah shouldn’t be surprised if she were pregnant given that she put out a sex tape and had unprotected sex. However, it was totally unnecessary that she called Farrah a whore and a slut.

Like I’ve said countless times, your sex life is your business and no one else’s. While Farrah has publicly chosen to show her sex life on camera and discuss it openly, it doesn’t make her a slut. And even if you think she is one, it’s really not your place to say so.

I see where Chrissy was coming from because Farrah appears to be doing a lot of things just for publicity. But I also think Chrissy was wrong in calling Farrah a slut and a whore publicly. It’s certainly something that didn’t need to be blasted out on social media.

The thing is, your definition of a slut can be very different from someone else’s definition. Personally, I don’t think it’s wrong to sleep with someone you’re not dating. But a lot of people will (and have) disagree with me. A lot of people will call me a slut, even though I am not. Slut is a subjective word.

Chrissy did say something very wise during this whole debacle that really made a lot of sense:

why is “slut shamer” a defended term? you guys know slut is a negative term, right? work on changing that.

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) May 15, 2013

There is such a stigma against the word slut, so much that girls in rape cases are being called sluts because they were “asking for it.” It has got to stop.

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Just stop sex-shaming in general

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And when the reporter asked if she ever had a relationship with another woman, Zoe responded “Promise me one thing: You’re going to ask this question [in the article]—if you choose to, just put three dots as my response. That’s it.”

So here we have a high profile woman basically telling you to love who you love and do what you do. That’s pretty awesome, no?

And I whole-heartedly agree. I know a lot of people struggle with their sexuality and how they identify themselves. But the truth is, you don’t have to identify yourself. You don’t have to label yourself. If you’re not sure what you identify as, that’s completely okay.

While we’re still working toward equality and acceptance of all people in society, there has been tremendous progress over the years. People are becoming more accepting, which is wonderful. I hope one day that it’s a complete non-issue.

You are allowed to be a lesbian or gay or bi or trans or not even remotely sure. If you’re questioning your sexuality, that’s totally fine. I feel like there’s a lot of pressure still for people to put an identifier on themselves. Well, you don’t have to identify yourself. You don’t have to label yourself. You can be sure or not sure. As long as you are happy with yourself and your life, that’s what matters.

You do not have to confine yourself to the rules of being straight or gay. I’ve often thought about my own dating life. I date guys, but does that mean I won’t fall in love with a girl? I don’t think so. I think anything can happen when it comes to love. Love is not an emotion that can be easily controlled. I think I will fall in love and marry a person, and I don’t know who that person will be regardless of gender.

Figuring yourself out is hard, I know. But take some of the pressure off yourself by not feeling like you have to identify one way or another. Just be. Exist and be and do what makes you happy.

Are you questioning your sexuality? Do you feel pressured to identify or label yourself? Tell us in the comments!
 

If you are feeling confused about your sexuality, here’s some great advice

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Anyway. Yes, I am very Italian. I was blessed with olive skin that tans easily and dark hair. But what most people don’t know is that I’m also very Irish, which has blessed me with green eyes and freckles. Lots and lots of freckles.

But I didn’t always think they were a blessing. I used to hate them so much! Like to the point where I wanted to know what Lindsay Lohan was doing to get rid of hers, which I’m not proud of.

I never really minded them on my arms, legs, back or stomach because they weren’t that concentrated. My face was a different story. Anytime I get even the slightest bit of sun, a million freckles come out of hiding on my face. They made me feel dirty, and apparently I looked that way.

A few years ago after spending a week at the beach, my mom tried to rub some dirt off of my nose. It wasn’t dirt, it was a group of freckles. No one ever made fun of me for having freckles, but I just couldn’t stand having these little dots all over me. I used to wear high coverage foundation just to hide them.

But one summer, I had an epiphany. I had been spending a lot of time outside (with SPF, of course!), and I got all sorts of freckled and speckled. I remember being at the grocery store completely makeup-free and the woman at the register looked at me and said, “You have the cutest freckles!” It was such a simple moment, but I had never really been complimented for my freckles before.

When I got in my car, I took a look in the mirror and thought “I guess they are kind of cute!” I decided to change my attitude about my spotted friends since they weren’t going away. I vowed to spend the rest of the summer without coating my face in foundation, which was such a blessing in the disgusting Southern heat. The more I let my freckles hang out, the more people told me they loved them and the more I loved them.

A lot of my freckles visible year-round, but now I always look forward to summertime when they’re more defined.

Do you have freckles? Do you love them or hate them? Tell us in the comments!
 

I also came to love my nose and am so thankful I didn’t get plastic surgery

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Confidence is the secret to beauty, but so many of us have poor body image and low self-esteem! | Source: ShutterStock

Ladies, our self-esteem and body image as a whole aren’t where they should be. A study says that half of us have poor body image and hate the way we look–but we almost all agree that confidence is the secret to beauty! What gives?!

One in two women feel like they’re not pretty enough and detest their appearance, but 88 percent of us say confidence is the key to truly looking amazing. One good part of our body image, though? Most of us are at least somewhat aware that we’re stunning as is–we just want to feel better about the skin we’re in, which can be tough since we’re bombarded with images of imaginary Photoshopped perfection all the time.

We’re here to help! Here are some more reasons why you should feel as gorgeous as we know that you are – and how to boost your self-esteem:

Others think you’re goodlooking. Seriously.
Studies have shown that we’re a lot harder on ourselves body image-wise than anyone else is on us, especially guys. In a lot of research studies, dudes have rated women as much better looking than the women rated themselves, so if your self-esteem is suffering because you don’t think guys find you attractive, guess what? They do!

Chances are no one even notices the flaws you’re freaking out about.
When you zero in on what you don’t like about your bod, face, hair, whatever, your self-esteem can plummet pretty easily. But guess what? You’re likely the only person worried about it. And unless you point it out to someone else, chances are they didn’t even know it existed.

And the flaws you can see? They may be part of what makes you hot.
Cindy Crawford used to hate her mole, and it became her trademark. See where we’re going with this? A lot of the very things that set us apart and make us self-conscious are actually what attracts other people to us: Think Zendaya’s height, Demi’s curves, Selena’s teeth or Miley’s hair.

By loving yourself and showing confidence, you’ll inspire others to do the same.
You know how when someone gives you a compliment you beam for hours? Giving someone else a compliment will make you feel just as good–and will probably inspire them to pay it forward and give you one right back. So next time you’re feeling crappy when standing next to someone you think is cuter than you are, instead of grumbling about how hard your life is, tell her how pretty her eyes are or how awesome her bangs look. Because chances are she has insecurities just like you!

There’s a lot more to you than what’s on the outside.
Cliche because it’s true. You’re beautiful–we know that. And you’re also, brilliant, brave, strong, funny and probably an awesome friend. If you ever have a breakout or a bad hair day, remember that what’s in your heart–not on your face or on a scale–is what actually makes you who you are. And who you are is one gorgeous, great gal. Don’t you forget it!

Are you surprised that so many women and girls have a negative body image? How do you improve your confidence and self-esteem? Tell us in the comments!

Boost your body image with these 10 inspirational quotes!

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British model Katie Green started the campaign and has created a petition to go along with it. She’s calling for a ban on “all size zero models and models with an unhealthy BMI (below 18.5) from the fashion catwalks.”

According to her website, the petition will be “presented to the Prime Minister and Parliament with the help of Liberal Democrat MP Lembit Opik, to try and have a policy put in place, ensuring that all models are fully health checked before undertaking any modelling assignment, including catwalk modelling.”

There are already bans in other countries for models who are deemed “too skinny.” Like I said before, a ban like this shouldn’t be based on BMI because it’s really not an accurate depiction of how healthy someone is.

While I admire Green’s desire to keep unhealthy models off the runway, it’s still not fair and the “Say No To Size Zero” is offensive.

I’m a size 0. In certain brands, I’m a 00. And there is nothing I can do about it. My BMI has always been below what it should be for a person my height, but I am healthy! I eat. I have never starved myself. Heck, if I go like four hours without eating I’m like “Who am I?!”

I know that people say, and will continue to say, that skinny women have no right to be offended. But that idea is so incredibly wrong. Why is it okay to make fun of women who are thin? Why is it okay to have a campaign that shames thin women? It wouldn’t (and shouldn’t!) fly at all to shame women of larger sizes. It hurts just as much when someone tells me to eat a burger as it does telling someone who’s a larger size to put a burger down.

I understand that the intention is not to offend a size 0 like myself, but it is offensive. It’s true that there are models with eating disorders. Having been in the industry, I personally know a few who struggled. I was even asked to lose weight.

But being a size 0 doesn’t mean you have an eating disorder or you’re unhealthy. And having a low BMI doesn’t mean that either.

I think models should have to be checked out by a doctor to make sure they are healthy, but it shouldn’t be based on size or BMI because it isn’t fair. I know plenty of girls who are not a size 0 and who have a perfect BMI, but also have an eating disorder.

Stop saying no to size zero and start saying hello to healthy instead. That’s the only way the industry and society is going to change.

What do you think about the “Say No To Size Zero” campaign? Do you think it’s right? How do you think model bans should be determined? Have you ever been shamed for your size? Tell me in the comments!
 

Body shaming of any kind is just NOT okay

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Well y’all are, so I’m really proud. This week I noticed there’s some chatter going on about anxiety and depression and what to do when you feel like it’s getting out of control. What did y’all have to say about the topic?

flamingoccm said:

I think you’d benefit from talk therapy. I personally call my mom or my best friend when I’m having an anxiety attack, but since you’re straining those relationships, I think you should consider a third party.

alegnatm said:

I’ve been dealing with anxiety recently. I got put on medication for it, which i believe has been helping. And I’ve been trying to do a bit of meditation. Or I at least try to listen to calm and relaxing music throughout the day (meditation radio on Pandora).

Like Flaming said, I would consider finding someone to talk to (someone you trust or possibly a counselor) because just going on a rant to someone about what’s going on can definitely help.
Exercise helps me as well, my anxiety usually has a lot of anger mixed in with it so I like to exercise to tire myself out.

stayclassy said:

Are you in school? If so, they should have counselors for free you can talk to. Talking it out definitely helps, even if it’s a close friend or family member.

Meditation has good long term effects and I’ve found that when I feel anxious, I use my meditation skills to control my breathing (take a few slow deep breaths) to calm down, and if possible, go out for a walk to get some fresh air and move a bit with the walking.

The thing about anxiety is that it’s not the same for everyone who has it. Same goes for depression. The trick is finding what methods work for you personally.

I’ve been dealing with anxiety for almost thirteen years, and it’s definitely been a struggle. I’m not on medication, although recently, I’ve considered it because I’m noticing that it’s getting worse as I get older. It’s something I have always monitored and debated. One of my triggers is medication, which is another issue I have to battle.

I do think that if you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, any mental issue or just feeling very overwhelmed, that you should talk to a therapist. The reason I’ve been able to last so long without medication is because of my therapist. It may take some trial and error to find one that fits, but having a trusted therapist to talk to is one of the best ways to deal with anxiety.

I came to learn triggers for my anxiety and ways that I could deal with them through my therapist that I never would have realized on my own. Having anxiety for me means that I get so caught up in my own head, and I can’t get out. My therapist pulled me out.

A therapist will go over all kinds of coping mechanisms from medication to meditation to playing word games (for my storm anxiety!) in order to find out what works for you personally. Anxiety isn’t a phase, it’s a mental issue that can be treated so the best thing is to seek treatment, whatever that method might be!

Do you have anxiety? How do you deal with it? Do you have a therapist? Tell me in the comments!

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.

What should you do if he kissed you but won’t talk to you?

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I admit, it’s difficult not to stoop to their level and be mean or hate back. But don’t!

My best guy friend in the world (and I mean completely 100% romance-free) has dated a lot of girls, and they all hate me. They’ve even gone as far to tell him that he can’t speak to me. And every time I’m like “Seriously?!” Luckily, he defends our friendship knowing that girlfriends come and go, but friends are forever .

I’ve dealt with hatred from girls my whole life, whether there were guys involved or not. I have a really strong personality, and sometimes it rubs people the wrong way. Usually once people get to know me, they realize that I’m really nice.

Fortunately, I’ve never heard “I really hated you when we first met,” but I do hear “I was really intimidated by you.” In my head that’s almost worse because I don’t want people to be scared of me! But again, I have a big personality and it takes a lot to roll with that.

It’s never been something that I’ve let get me down though because I have plenty of friends who love me. If I didn’t have anyone then I would start to question what I was doing wrong. Some people have personalities that others can’t mesh with right away or at all. And that’s okay.

Source: xvxoxgurl

But how do you deal with being hated?

You should always take the high road. Don’t fire back at people who hate you and say mean things about you. They often want a reaction from you, and if you don’t give them one, that cuts them down. Also, just be nice.

In college, there were some girls in my sorority who said behind my back that they were scared of me. I took matters into my own hands and went out of my way to eat lunch with them and made sure they saw that I’m actually really nice and friendly. Now, they’re some of my best friends.

When it comes to girls that don’t like me because I’m friends with their boyfriend, that’s a different story. I usually leave that between the couple because more often than not, it’s about a trust issue between the two of them.

Truth be told, not everyone is going to like you. And you’re not going to like everyone. We don’t all get along.

But if you’re a good person, that’s going to reflect even if there are some people that don’t like you. It’s hard when people don’t, but the question you always have to ask is “Am I happy with myself?” As long as I’m happy with myself and how I act, that’s what matters.

How do you handle it when someone hates you? Have you ever confronted someone about it? Tell me in the comments!
 

You don’t like your boyfriend’s family, what should you do?

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Apparently, because science and stuff, your hair has a lot to say about you. According to Women’s Health, blondes produce less melanin so their skin is more susceptible to sun damage. While this is true, so does anyone with paler skin. Everyone should wear sunscreen on the reg to avoid skin cancer, no matter your hair color!

And brunettes are more likely to bald, be addicted to nicotine and be better at long-term relationships. Men apparently think brown-haired women are more serious, which means better relationships.

And the elusive redhead doesn’t endure pain as well as others and are more likely to get Parkinson’s disease because of the same gene mutation that causes red hair. That’s not cool! Redheads are also (allegedly) better in bed because red means passion.

I’m sure there are some real links between health and hair color, but things about life according to hair color just aren’t right. You know what your hair color really says about you? Nothing!

Stereo-typically, blondes are said to be less intelligent and less serious. I know tons of smart and serious blondes. I also know a lot of blondes that don’t have fun as well as blondes that do.

Brunettes are supposedly uptight and not as cool. False. All the Gurl editors are brunettes, and we have a lot of fun and are really cool!

Redhead stereotypes include bad tempers and sexual promiscuity. All the redheads I know have the same temper as anyone else and are pretty quiet about their sex lives.

Realistically, your hair color says as much about you as you want it to. If you want to attribute your characteristics to your hair, then go for it. But I think I’ll stick with attributing my personality to me instead of what’s on my head.

Do you think your hair color has anything to do with your personality? Are any of these stereotypes true for you? Tell me in the comments!
 

Regardless of color, try these cute and sparkly hair accessories

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