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First things first: try to relax. I know you’re freaking out and I can completely understand why. In situations like these, it’s really easy to get yourself worked up into a state of panic and that makes it hard to think clearly and figure things out.

Now, onto your question. Unfortunately, I can’t give you super great news here. Even if a guy ejaculates near your vagina and not directly inside of it, there is still a small chance that you can get pregnant. Take into consideration exactly what happened and then figure out your steps from there.

The further away from your vaginal opening he ejaculated, the better - if this dude finished on your stomach, arm, breasts or legs, you would have had an almost zero chance of getting pregnant. However, from what you’ve said, it sounds like your boyfriend finished really close to your vagina. If he ejaculated on your upper thigh, close to that area, you do have a slim chance of getting pregnant. Sperm can be strong swimmers and there is the always the possibility that they can make their way over to your vaginal opening on their own.

Your chances of getting pregnant increase as the ejaculation happens closer and closer to the vaginal opening. But something important to keep in mind is that sperm can sometimes even make their way through thin clothing. So if your boyfriend ejaculated on your underwear, don’t assume your safe.

One common myth about sperm is that it dies instantly the second it hits the air. I wish that were true, for your sake, but unfortunately it’s not. Sperm can live outside the body for up to an hour. That’s why it’s really important to be safe even if you’re not having intercourse – a lot of people assume that they won’t get pregnant if a guy just ejaculates near their vagina, but that’s not true.

So, what can you do? If it’s less than 72 hours after this happened, you can stay on the safe side and take the Plan B pill. If it’s been more time than that, you can contact your doctor or take a pregnancy test. Don’t get into full-on panic mode though – your chances of getting pregnant are slim, but it’s always better to cover all of your bases. And keep this in mind for the next time – if your boyfriend is going to ejaculate on your body, have him do it on your stomach, your breasts or your arm – anywhere that’s far away from your vagina!

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

How can you initiate sex without looking slutty?

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In horrible school news today, two pregnant teens had their photos removed from their yearbook at a Michigan high school because administrators felt that – get this – the girls’ baby bumps were encouraging teen pregnancy. Um, I’m sorry, what?!

The students, from White Cloud High School, are obviously really upset about this seriously awful form of pregnancy shaming. Junior Deonna Harris and senior Kimberly Haney told WOOD-TV about how their photos were pulled from the high school yearbook because their baby bumps were visible. A pregnant stomach in a yearbook?! Oh, God, no! (*sarcasm*)

Deonna explained how a yearbook staff member pulled her aside one day to let her know that she had to re-take a photo of herself that had originally been planned to go in the yearbook because her pregnant belly was visible. The photo itself was completely innocent – it was just Deonna posing with a few of her friends outside of the school. Kimberly had a similar situation – since her and her boyfriend were voted most likely to get married, they took a picture of a fake proposal scene. And since her pregnant stomach was also visible, that photo was also pulled and Kimberly was asked to take another one that didn’t so obviously show that she was pregnant.

The ridiculous reasoning behind this decision? School administrators feel that “showing off” images of their pregnant students encourages teen pregnancy to other students. White Cloud Public Schools Superintendent Barry Seabrook told the AP that “It’s our feeling… that (the photos) could very well be a contrary message to (the state policy).” This means that the state of Michigan has an abstinence-only approach (that is obviously working out REALLY well for them – just saying) and they felt that showing that two of their students are pregnant goes against that approach.

Pregnancies not allowed in yearbook

I can’t even begin to understand this logic. So you’re telling me that other teens are going to see pictures of a pregnant high school girl and think, “OMG that looks so cool. I totally want to be pregnant now!” I mean, really? I seriously, seriously doubt that seeing a photo of a pregnant girl is going to encourage other teens to run out there and start making babies. I mean, come on. They probably already see these girls in person every single day! How is a yearbook image going to change anything?

The girls are obviously devastated about being told to retake pictures where their stomachs aren’t showing and both are refusing to do so. I don’t blame them at all. This whole situation sucks, to put it bluntly. These girls don’t deserve to be shamed in that way simply because they got pregnant at a young age. And no one will ever be able to convince me that images of them being pregnant are going to encourage other teens to do the same. It’s maybe one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard and what this really sounds like to me is that the school just doesn’t want the pictures included in the yearbook because they’re worried about their image and nothing else.

If Michigan schools really want to keep their students from getting pregnant, maybe they should consider teaching them about safe sex and stop their abstinence-only approach. Telling teens not to have sex is not going to stop all of them from having sex. But informing them about the importance of condoms, birth control and other aspects of safe sex? That actually teaches them something very important that they need to know. Get it together, White Cloud High School.

What do you think about this story? Do you agree or disagree with the school’s decision? Do you think pictures of pregnant girls in the yearbook would encourage teen pregnancy? Tell me in the comments.

What your doctor isn’t telling you about your birth control options

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Try not to stress, girl! Every woman who is on the pill has most likely forgotten to take it at least once. Remembering to take these pills at the same time every single day can be tough, especially when you haven’t been on them that long. This stuff happens and while it’s not ideal, it also doesn’t mean that you’re now guaranteed to get pregnant.

You did the right thing by doubling up on your pills the day after. Whenever you forget to take your pill at your designated pill-taking time, take it as soon as you remember. It doesn’t matter if it’s one hour later or 24 hours later – take it right away when you realize you forgot about it. This should usually put you back on schedule.

It’s too late to change this now, but just so you know for the future, you always need backup protection whenever you forget or skip a pill. So if you usually have sex without a condom and then you forget to take your pill one day, you need to start using condoms until the end of that pill pack. If you forget your pill and you don’t double up on protection when you have sex, you may want to seriously consider using the Plan B pill just in case – but remember, you can only take that up to 72 hours after you have sex and it’s more effective when you take it right away.

Forgetting to take just one pill isn’t a huge deal as long as you take it once you remember, continue on with taking the rest of your pills normally and double up on protection until the end of that pill pack. Things get a little tricky when you forget to take two or three pills. If that happens, get in touch with your doctor right away and he or she will let you know what to do.

For right now, all you can really do is to wait to see if you’ll get your period. If you know you’re supposed to get it within the next day or so and you don’t, take a pregnancy test and consider calling your doctor. But try not to freak out. Keep in mind that forgetting to take a pill can mess with your hormones a little bit, so you may get your period a day later. It’s also important not to stress because too much stress can actually delay your period even more and that can quickly turn into an endless cycle. And remember this ordeal for the future – if you need help taking your pill, check out these tips and remember that if it happens again, double up on your protection.

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

How to skip your period

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As great as birth control pills are, they’re also sort of a hassle. Forget about all of the side effects for a second – just getting your hands on them in the first place can be annoying. I mean, no one looks forward to a visit to the gynecologist, am I right? Imagine for a second what it would be like if you could pick up your birth control pills over-the-counter at your local drugstore without having to go through a doctor. Ah. It seems like such an easier world.

A new study shows that close to two-thirds of women would be on board for over-the-counter birth control pills – a discussion that has come up since Plan B was approved for over-the-counter use. About 30 percent of women who are not currently taking birth control pills say that they would take them if they were available without a prescription. And, guys, I think I totally agree with them – being able to pick up my birth control without going through a doctor first would be amazing. It seems like every time my prescription runs out, I don’t realize until the last possible second. Then I end up scrambling around, trying to score a doctor’s appointment, sitting in a waiting room for an hour and then sitting in a flimsy paper robe that covers NOTHING for another hour just to get a little piece of paper handed back to me. I can’t be the only one who does this.

Not only would this make our lives a whole lot easier, but it would also give all women so much more access to birth control pills. Women who don’t have the luxury of health insurance can’t just make a gynecologist appointment to get a prescription – it’s too much money! Girls who want to secretly take birth control pills without telling their parents would benefit from this also. Sure, there are clinics who give out free birth control, but going to a drugstore makes it a whole lot easier.

Also, more access to birth control pills can mean a lot less unplanned pregnancies. Women who can’t get their hands on the pill are probably either just using condoms, which aren’t as effective in preventing pregnancy as the pill, or maybe even nothing at all – and that kind of stinks. If everyone had easier access to birth control pills, it makes sense that more people would start using them.

However, while this all sounds lovely and great and perfect, there are also definitely some risks that come along with over-the-counter birth control pills. Every woman needs a different pill and sometimes certain pills don’t work for certain women – simply buying any kind of pill from the drugstore without consulting a doctor first doesn’t exactly seem like the smartest thing to do. It makes it a lot easier for a woman to get a pill that’s wrong for her.

The other downside is that if we’re getting our birth control pills over-the-counter, we’re less likely to head to the gynecologist for our yearly appointment. I know that for me, I consistently go to the gyno because I need to keep refilling my birth control prescription – and a lot of other women feel the same way. If we could just head to the drugstore without a prescription, would a lot of us stop going to the gyno? That definitely wouldn’t be good. It’s important to regularly get checked out down there to make sure we don’t have any cysts or other infections.

So, I guess I don’t really know what would work better. I love the idea of over-the-counter birth control pills, but obviously there would be some cracks in the system. Still, the thought of easier access to birth control pills for safer sex seems pretty great, right?

What do you think? Should birth control pills be over-the-counter? Do you think it’s a good or bad idea? Why do you feel that way? Join the debate and tell us in the comments!

Your complete guide to birth control options

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Can I get a hooray?! This is great! Dr. Basil Donovon from the University of New South Wales said, “In 2011 no genital wart diagnoses were made among 235 women under 21 years of age who reported prior human papillomavirus vaccination.”

This goes to show that the HPV vaccine is actually working and doing what it’s supposed to. There’s honestly no reason not to get the HPV vaccine. HPV is the most common STD and there are more than 40 types of HPV that you can contract. Plus, you’re at risk for HPV even if you’ve never had sex. It’s a sneaky, sneaky virus.

While some strains of HPV don’t carry symptoms, the strain that causes genital warts is pretty serious. They can also take months to appear so you might not even know that you have it.

So the fact that this vaccine is working and preventing teens from contracting the strain of HPV that causes genital warts is awesome! I’d say that is definitely a reason to get the vaccine. Not only does it prevent genital warts, it also protects against cervical cancer and other strains of HPV. It’s also the safest vaccine out there.

Do yourself (and your partner) a favor and get the vaccine if you haven’t already. It’s totally worth it!
 
Have you gotten the HPV vaccine? Did you have any side effects of the vaccine? Will this new information convince you to get it if you haven’t already? Tell us in the comments!
 

Are uncircumcised guys putting you at risk?

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The easiest way to make a decision about birth control is to be totally informed on all of the choices. Make a pro con list for each one, talk with your doctor and figure out what will be the best for you.

I’ve used several types of contraception, and I’ll tell you that it does take some trial and error so your first pick might not agree with you. That’s okay! I just want you to know as much as you can.

So go ahead and click through for your complete guide to birth control options!

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Is being on birth control pills for a long time okay – or should you be taking breaks from your pill every once in a while? If you’ve been on the pill for a while, you’ve probably wondered about this at some point. We have answers for you below. 

ChickRx expert Evelyn Resh MPH, CNM (Certified Sexuality Counselor and Nurse-Midwife) says: 

This is a question that patients often ask. There really isn’t any reason to “take a break” from birth control pills. In fact, staying on the pill for long periods of time is actually beneficial for you – it helps reduce your risk of ovarian cancer.

The research on this issue is sound and plentiful. The one thing that is important to keep in mind if you are a long-term pill user is that the longer you are on the pill, the longer it will take for your normal ovulation cycle to resume once you stop using the pill. Therefore, if you have been using oral contraceptives for many years and decide that you want to get pregnant, stop your pill well in advance of the time you would ideally like to conceive as it may take a few months before you’re fertile again. But this isn’t something most of you have to worry about right now.

If you feel like you don’t want to be tethered to the pill at the moment and want to take a little break, that’s fine too. If you choose to do so, update your doctor on your decision. Finish out your last month and then just stop taking them, it’s as simple as that. But don’t assume that you’re still protected from unwanted pregnancy for a few months after that – if you’re going to have sex while you’re not on the pill, always wear a condom, no exceptions.

Got more questions? Post them in the comments below or head on over to ChickRx.com.

I’m nervous about pregnancy & STDs even though I have safe sex

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It’s totally normal to be worried about contracting STDs or STIs or dealing with an unplanned pregnancy – even if you’re super safe when having sex. We all know things can still happen sometimes. If you can relate to this, read below to find out how to deal. 

ChickRx expert Melissa Doman, M.A., LGPC, NCC, DCC, Psychotherapist and Wellness Lecturer, says: 

It’s definitely a good thing to have a healthy level of caution, especially when it comes to serious things like STDs and pregnancy. It sounds like you’re putting a lot of effort into protecting not only yourself, but your boyfriend too (if you have one). That’s a very good thing to do. However, if caution turns into overwhelming anxiety, then it takes the pleasure and connectedness out of making love to your partner. Being concerned about pregnancy or STDs is definitely a normal part of being sexually active, but at some point you have to ask yourself what your additional worrying is accomplishing for you.

If you and your partner have both been tested, are using multiple contraceptive methods and are faithful to one another, I encourage you to ask yourself what your additional worrying is accomplishing. What are the questions/concerns you are feeling? Has your partner offered you any words to calm your fears? Are your fears based on past experiences? Are there additional ways you can protect yourself that you’d like to consider? Sometimes it helps to talk these things out to find out what’s going on underneath.

Remember: STDs and unplanned pregnancies do happen, but they usually happen to people who don’t use condoms, don’t get tested, have unsafe sex and just generally aren’t careful. If you’re having safe sex, then you should have almost nothing to worry about.

Got more questions? Post them in the comments below or head on over to ChickRx.com.

Am I weird if I have inward nipples?

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Sometimes it seems like the only birth control option out there is the Pill (and obviously the condom, which should be worn no matter what). The thing is, though, that’s not true. There are other birth control options out there that may fit your lifestyle even better than the Pill does. The problem is, your doctor may not be telling you about them.

One of those options that doesn’t get discussed a lot is using an IUD. Never heard of it? Don’t feel silly – a lot of people haven’t and that’s because doctors don’t push IUDs as hard as they push the Pill. In fact, some gynecologists don’t even present IUD, or other forms of birth control, like a diaphragm, as options at all. I know my gynecologist never did – when I told her I was considering going on the Pill, she gave me more information about it, but never discussed what else I could use instead. And when I recently was considering going off the Pill, my doctor (a new one) didn’t even attempt to discuss what else I could use instead.

And my doctors aren’t the only ones holding out on me or anyone else. A new study is encouraging doctors to start presenting all of your birth control options, not just telling you about the Pill and condoms. As one study researcher, Dr. Susin Rubin, pointed out, “holding back on discussing the most effective pregnancy prevention methods doesn’t necessarily result in the best outcome for our teens and young people.” Dr. Susin Rubin speaks the truth, girls.

IUDs in particular are something that I think should be discussed a lot more. I mean, I didn’t even know what an IUD was until I started working at Gurl. I had never heard of it before! And it’s definitely a legitimate form of birth control. Studies have shown that IUDs are more effective at preventing pregnancy than other methods of birth control. Also, IUDs just seem a little bit more convenient. They’re a form of long-acting reversible contraception – an IUD is inserted into your uterus by a doctor and then can stay there for up to 10 years. Doesn’t that seem about a million times easier than remembering to take a pill at the same time every day?

Despite the fact that IUDs may be a better fit for some women, only about 8.5 percent of U.S. women and 3 percent of teens use them (our Gurl staffer Caitlin is one of them).

So if IUDs are so great, why aren’t doctors talking about them with their patients? For a while, doctors thought that they might reduce fertility or even increase the infection risk in teens. There are some women who should never use them, like women who get a lot of pelvic infections. Of course, IUDs don’t protect against STDs or STIs (only condoms can do that) and there are obviously some side effects. Also, IUDs are very expensive if not covered under your insurance.

But that doesn’t mean we should shy away from them. Birth control pills have their own list of risks and side effects, but a ton of us still use those. Also, recent studies have proven that IUDs are totally safe for teens.

I definitely agree that doctors need to start discussing IUDs and other birth control options more frequently. As a woman, you should know all of your options and be able to pick what’s best for you. We shouldn’t feel like the only choice we have is taking birth control pills. IUDs may not be for everyone, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be informed about them.

Do you use an IUD? Would you ever use one? Have you ever heard of IUDs before? What birth control do you use? Tell us in the comments.

What is an IUD?

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Why? Well so you don’t get pregnant or get STDs. And because it’s responsible. And because there’s no good excuse not to use them.

You might think it’s just up to guys to buy condoms, but it’s not. You can totally buy condoms, and you totally should! Why rely on someone else to keep you safe?

I know, I know. There are tons of options and it can be really confusing. Fortunately, you have us!

Let me be your condom spirit guide. Click through for your complete guide on condoms!