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What’s worse than a first date marked by paralyzing uncertainty and worry? Here’s what’s worse: A first date marked by paralyzing uncertainty and a sudden fart.

Well, even if your first dates tend to be full of fun and lacking embarrassing bodily functions, you can’t help but think about potentially awkward scenarios, right? And if you don’t think about those things, well, we’re making you think about it now. Take our Would You Rather poll to see what situations you’d rather face on a first date.

What’s one of your most embarrassing first date stories? Do you have any rules you live by when it comes to first dates? Tell us in the comments!

How To Have A Perfect First Date: 8 Tips To Help You Stop Worrying
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Surprisingly I’m not a loser.

You know that movie Never Been Kissed? It’s the one where Drew Berrymore is a journalist who has never been in a relationship and is assigned to go undercover as a high school student to report on the lives of teens living that tough late ’90s suburbia life.

Well, aside from all of that undercover junk, I’ve realized that the older I get, the more I start to relate to Drew’s character…but a little less thirsty.

So I’m going to tell it to you straight: I’m 22-years old and I’ve never been kissed. I’ve never slept with anyone. I’ve never been on a date.

And as much as I would love to have experienced all of those things, let me let you in on a little secret: It’s not the end of the world. Seriously. It’s not.

If you feel like you’re some big ol’ loser because you’ve never been kissed, or never performed oral sex in a school bathroom stall, or haven’t reached any of those touching romantic milestones yet, know this: Milestones are stupid and there is always time. Your love life isn’t a race and you’re probably awesome.

Your sexual prowess (or lack thereof) has no bearing on how desirable you are. This is something that I’ve had to learn. It wasn’t until college that I was asked out by a few guys…all of whom I turned down. It wasn’t until college that I had mutual romantic interests, but time, place and that fickle little thing called life got in the way. Things happen, moments are lost and sometimes neither things nor moments are going on and you can feel pretty dejected. Believe me, I’ve been there. I know how it feels to feel left out when your friends share their crazy hookup experiences right in front of you. I know how it feels to wonder why everyone manages to hookup or date while you’re left in the dust, even when you put yourself out there. It can really suck. It just doesn’t make sense, right?

You’re right, it doesn’t make sense. Life doesn’t make sense, and love is particularly senseless.

Yeah, it’s a little funny (ok, weird) that there are a ton of 15-year-old girls out there who are more sexually experienced than I am–and more power to them for experiencing all the awesome things that romance has to offer. But it’s really okay not to have experienced those things yet. You’re really not as alone as you think you are, honestly.

I’m very aware of the possibility that I come across as a massive loser confessing all of this, but I honestly don’t care. Sure, I’d like for my current status to change, but I’m really not agonizing over it; and any of you who are in the same situation shouldn’t worry about it either!

Of course I have moments when I feel like I’m going to be forever alone, and I’m admittedly self-conscious about how a future boyfriend or hookup would react to this information, but those moments are pretty rare and fleeting. I know that something is going to come along, so what’s the point of feeling sorry for myself? I’m funny, I’m smart and I have an awesome sense of style. I have amazing friends and I’m a pretty happy person.

Look, I may not have been kissed yet, but my awesomeness isn’t determined by whether or not I’ve pulled tongue with some dude when I was in 9th grade. And neither is yours.

And if you’ve never been kissed and don’t feel at all comforted by my words of wisdom, at least you know that somewhere out there there is a chick who managed to graduate college without getting laid. There’s still hope for you.

Have you never been kissed? Do you feel like left out when it comes to love? Tell us in the comments!

Am I Going To End Up Alone Forever?

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A lot of people hook up with friends and strangers. But not all hookups are created equal! Some are terrible but great for gossip fodder, others are fun but leave a lot of confused feelings in their wake. It’s easy to determine how good or bad our hook up partners are, but how often do we evaluate ourselves?

Are you inconsiderate? Do you worry more about your hookup’s feelings than your own? Have you been a consistently awesome hook up? Find out by taking our quiz below!

Do you hook up a lot? Have your hookups been mostly good or mostly awful? Tell us in the comments!

Reader Hookup Confession: His Dad Caught Me Naked!
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Before you start daydreaming about saucy late night texts and walks on the beach, you’ll need a game plan. We’ve discussed summer flings before, but here’s a guide for you lazy ladies who really want the most simplistic steps to finding and maintaining some summer lovin’.

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Claim To Be Every Missed Connection On Craigslist

You know the Missed Connections section of Craigslist? Where some guy or gal is looking for that person they caught eyes with on the train, at the mall, at a concert, etc. You can get a love match super quickly when you respond to the posts and claim that it was, in fact, you who shared that special glimpse. Sure, they'll realize that it isn't you when you show up for that date, but maybe starting off a relationship with a vicious lie might not be so bad.

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Like All Of their Facebook Photos

Become mutual friend with your crush on Facebook, then proceed to like every single one of their photos. Yep, even the ones from freshman year. That way, he'll know that you're interested.

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Become Very Observant

A little stalking—I mean, a little practice becoming more observant is super informative. You can find out so much about your summer crush this way. Plus, knowing their schedule and always happening to be in the same places as them is totally cool and not creepy.

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Take On An Alter-Ego

Deception is the key to happiness. Pretend to be somebody way cooler than your actual self. You can be a French girl who is visiting on an exchange program who happens to have a really terrible French accent. It'll be super alluring.

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Eliminate The Competition

It's a jungle out there, ladies. Make sure you get rid of your competition. Nothing too crazy or violent, of course...just implement a few things to slow them down, like surrounding their house in barbed wire. Keep it simple!

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Serenade Your Way To Their Pants

Stand outside the window of your summer crush and sing to them. If blasting Peter Gabriel worked in Say Anything, then your tone deaf rendition of TSwift's "You Belong "With Me" will work wonders.

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Show Off Your Selfies

Send him/her every single one of your selfies. Yep, I'm talking the bathroom shot, the one with you and your breakfast and the artistic shot of you looking thoughtfully into the distance. Make sure that you send extra duck-lip photos, because those are super cute and not tacky at all.

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Get Serious And Discuss Marriage

You need to make sure that you and your summer fling are on the same page. And what better way to figure that out than to talk about your future wedding. Don't leave out any details, including the color scheme of the napkins.

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Leave Your Number In Public Places

Since you're really desperate for some summer loving, leave your number everywhere. Leave it in a public restroom and mailboxes. If you can afford it, try renting one of those airplanes that writes messages in the sky. You're guaranteed to get a sweet hook up.

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Be Yourself And See What Happens

Summer flings are fun, especially if they happen spontaneously. Instead of desperately searching for some summer romance, just go with the flow and see what happens. It'll be way more rewarding and less of a headache.

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What is the key to a great summer fling? Do you plan on finding a summer hook up? Tell us in the comments!

10 Things I Wish I Knew Before My First Summer Fling
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Flings can be great, but they can get ugly faster than Danny Zuko can wiggle his hips. Bad communication and uneven expectations can turn your summer fling into a summer dud. To save you from this summer becoming your Worst Summer Ever, we’ve rounded up a list of 10 things that you have to know before you have a summer fling.

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Know What You're Getting Into

A fling usually doesn't equate to a long term relationship. It's short, it's fleeting and it's fun. If you treat it like a long term relationship you're missing the point and that'll probably lead to mixed signals

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Make Sure Your Fling Doesn't Already Have A BF/GF

You don't need any unnecessary drama over your summer break. The last thing you want is some scorned lover to tracking you down while your fling plays dumb. Save the drama for the fall.

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Don't Become Someone You're Not

Deciding to take up smoking just because your fling smokes is stupid. Deciding to dress completely different, lying about yourself, and pretending to be someone you're not is even more stupid. Be yourself! If your fling doesn't like it, that's their problem, not yours. You wouldn't want somebody lying to you about who they are, would you?

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Be Cheesy; Do Typical Date Stuff

Go watch 4th of July fireworks, go to a fair or have dinner and a movie. A fling can be more than hooking up, so have more fun with it.

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Don't Hesitate To Talk About STDs

Just because you're having a fling doesn't mean you can't have some serious discussions about staying safe. Don't hesitate to ask if they've been tested or any other relevant questions about their sexual history.

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Remember: Your Fling Has A Life Too

They're going to probably have plenty of their own things going on this summer; family reunions, skateboarding, working at the local library, you name it. Don't light up their cell every time you want to hook up and expect them to revolve their entire schedule around your horn.

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Don't Assume Your Fling Will Want To Continue Your Rendezvous Beyond The Summer

Sure, flings sometimes turn into legit relationships. But just because you hit it off doesn't mean that they're going to want to commit to something serious.

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On The Flip Side, Don't Feel Pressured To Continue A Fling Either

If your fling wants things to continue into the fall and you aren't feeling it, be honest about it. If you want to stay friends, that's cool, but don't be guilt tripped into a relationship you don't want.

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Remember Your Besties

You might have the d or the v on the regular, but that doesn't mean that you should sacrifice your time with your friends. Flings can be temporary, your friendship won't be…well, it might be be if you stop hanging out with them!

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A Fling Doesn't Have To Define Your Summer

Deciding to revolve your entire summer around your fling will lead you on the fast track to "Worst Summer Ever." Don't let this fling dictate your time with your friends, family, and other interests. You want a summer full of a variety, not just your hookups...especially if your fling ends on a low note.

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Have you ever had a summer fling? How do you feel about casual hook ups? Tell us in the comments!

Reader Hookup Confession: My Sticky Hands After My Hookup Totally Embarrassed Me

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]]> http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/22/things-i-wish-i-knew-before-summer-fling/feed/ 0 http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/14/long-distance-relationship-quotes/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=long-distance-relationship-quotes http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/14/long-distance-relationship-quotes/#comments Tue, 14 May 2013 18:00:13 +0000 Ashley Reese http://www.gurl.com/?p=110519 Read More]]> Long distance relationships can be full of angst, confusion and worry. You’re left wondering if it will last, if they’ll find somebody new and if you’ll ever survive the time apart in one piece. Your friends and family give you pitying looks, or they’ll bluntly call you delusional and tell you that it won’t last. And yet, there’s always a glimmer of hope! There’s anticipation, marking down the days until you two reunite and late night video chats to fill the time.

So yeah, long distance relationships are tough, but they’re full of ups and downs just like any other relationship.  If you’re in a long distance relationship, these quotes will feel like a punch to the gut and a flutter in the heart. Hey, that’s love in a nutshell, isn’t it?

 

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Taylor Swift has made comments before that has led to discussions here at Gurl about relationships and dating. To continue that trend, I’m really digging some of her latest musings on love and her romantic future.

In a new interview with Wonderland magazine, she starts off talking about relationships and then shared this little gem: “I’ve kind of realized that I have no idea where I’m going to be next year, or in six months, or in two months. I mean, I know where I’ll be on tour in two months, but no idea where I’m going to be mentally, emotionally, dreams, goals, wishes, hopes.”

I remember when I started high school, I had this grand scheme about when I was going to get a boyfriend and how all my romantic adventures were going to play out. That didn’t happen, but it’s true that the person I was when I started high school at 13 wasn’t even the same person I was when I graduated at 17. I was different and if I had tried to force my pre-high school dating plan on myself, I wouldn’t have been all too happy.

Now I’ve been in a relationship for a while and I STILL don’t know how everything is going to turn out. However, I’ve also learned that it can zap a lot of my energy trying to constantly figure out the future when all I really can focus on – and enjoy – is what’s happening today.

From the context, it seems like Taylor is talking about love, but I suppose she could just be talking about life in general. Remember a couple months ago when I found my middle school life timeline? Yeah, my life certainly isn’t like that and I’m okay with it!

Later in the interview, Taylor also said: “You can make a board for all the goals you want in your life with the pictures on it, and that’s great, daydreaming is wonderful, but you can never plan your future.” I do think you can definitely do a lot to plan FOR your future and set yourself up on a path you want, but to a degree you need to be okay with taking each day as it comes because sometimes curve balls happen or as Taylor pointed out, you just change as a person.

Believe me, I am the world’s biggest daydreamer, so it’s been hard for me to realize that I can’t control how everything plays out in life. While that could be seen as disappointing, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. So many things have happened for me – both in my relationships and just general life – that I may not have dreamed up or planned for, and yet they happened, were awesome and I wouldn’t change them.

I feel like Taylor’s philosophy is probably coming from what she’s learned in past relationships. Based on some of her past actions, like buying a house near her boyfriend, it seems like maybe she was trying to create a certain future and not just letting life kind of happen. It’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself to get everything in love and life figured out. In other parts of the interview she talks about being open to different kinds of romantic futures and relationship statuses and I hope she finds what makes her totally happy.

So like Taylor suggests, have your goals! Dream up your perfect relationship! Don’t be afraid of those things, but also don’t feel like you need to accomplish romances in a certain step-by-step way.

What do you think about Taylor’s comments about relationships? Have your romances ever gone differently than you maybe thought? Tell us in the comments!

10 Ways To Dress Like Taylor Swift!

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Guys are a little clueless about what girls want for Valentine’s Day–but it’s still cute! | Source: ShutterStock

When you ask a dude what girls want for Valentine’s Day, their responses are probably going to be different from yours.

A new study said that one in 10 guys think the way to your heart is through jewelry, but it turns out what girls want most for Valentine’s Day is–awww–a handwritten poem or a hug.

A poem or a hug. See how low maintenance we are? Seriously, we are so cute. (Here’s hoping the guys don’t plagiarize their material!) Those are free, so next time a guy complains that Valentine’s Day is super commercial, remind him of that fact. Romance can be free!

About nine percent of dudes also think girls want lingerie for Valentine’s Day, though only about 1 percent of us actually do. (Doesn’t lingerie seem like a sort of selfish Valentine’s Day gift anyway? It’s pretty much as much for him as it is for you!)

Other things guys think girls want for Valentine’s Day: a homemade dinner (adorbs) and uh, for them to take a break from watching sports (dude, seriously?).

But we’re not all that easy to please. About a quarter of us wanted our guy to take us on vacation somewhere fancy or exotic. Good luck doing that with after school job money, ladies!

So, here’s what you can do: if all you want for V-Day is a hug or a poem, show this to your guy… you know, just as a hint. No big deal. Also, we want to know: is this even true? Are you really looking to just score hugs and sappy poems this year? Or do you want something a little bit more extravagant?

What do you want for Valentine’s Day? Do you think guys are clueless about what girls want for Valentine’s Day? Do you have Valentine’s Day plans? Tell us in the comments!

Want to get rid of your guy before Valentine’s Day? Here’s how!

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Want to send love letters to your crush? This isn’t the best way to do it nowadays! | Source

Love letters are super romantic, but writing them to a guy can be tricky. You don’t want to be too mushy, but you don’t want to be overly cold, either. How do you go about penning a love letter to the object of your affection?

Turns out, the best way to send love letters is to keep them at 140 characters or less. It turns out, a new study says that these days sending a text or a tweet to the guy you dig works better than writing out a love letter!

Only six percent of gals and four percent guys admit to still sending love letters–we’re talking pen, paper, perfume, pink stationery type love letters. A lot of us still do the romantic email thing, though–96 percent of women and 92 percent of men send cutesy messages. Texting was another biggie, with 97 percent of us sending lovey-dovey messages to our beaus and 89 percent of them returning the gesture. Cute!

Twitter wasn’t as popular in the study, with only 43 percent of us and 39 percent of dudes admitting to using the microblogging site to express our affections. However, that’s because not all of the people in the survey used Twitter to begin with. There’s another potential reason for that, too: Tweets are public (as a lot of “accidental” nude photo leaks have proven), and not everyone likes their private life on display like that.

It’s worth noting, however, that this survey was conducted through SeekingArrangement.com–which is essentially a Sugar Daddy resource for rich dudes to hook up with eager, willing girls… So add an extra layer of “yecch” to these findings if you want. But it’s definitely a good insight to how to write love letters to the dude you’re into–keep them brief and keep them electronic!

Have you ever sent a guy a love letter? Do you want love letters to make a comeback? What do you usually include in your love letters? Tell us in the comments!

Now use that knowledge to get out of the friend zone!

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What’s weirder is that some people use Missed Connections, not to connect with a passing stranger, but to air out dirty laundry between them and their ex. I bet it’s a bit therapeutic to vent, even if that certain someone will never see it. I mean, even if they did, they still wouldn’t know you’re talking about them. After finding some of the weirder outbursts, I think some of these folks need to chill out. So here’s how NOT to get over your break up, courtesy Missed Connections.

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What do you think about Missed Connections? Let us know in the comments!