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My Boyfriend Is Super Controlling

Caitlin Corsetti — Sat, 12 Jan 2013 18:00:38 +0000

Have you dealt with a controlling bf? Source Shutterstock

Check out what’s new on our boards! Right now, girls are talking about what to do when your boyfriend is really controlling:

tori92 said:

I have been with my ‘boyfriend’ for almost 5 years.

Problem is, 4 out of the 5 years he’s been controlling. Always accused me of cheating, used to hit me and punch me, been in court and now have an AVO on him but after a 3 month break, decided to get back together.

He is going through my phone on a daily basis, listening to every phone call i make or receive, tells me when to shower, has gone through my laptop, told me to delete facebook etc. It’s worse than it ever was. I never ever get 2 seconds away from him! He won’t let me have two minutes to myself! (seriously, can’t even go to the toilet without him hanging around)

I want to get rid of him but I am worried about his violent outbursts, the police no longer believe me because I took him back. I saved his butt from a prison sentence. I have been a silly girl taking him back but now i feel like it’s too late and I am stuck. Please help.

What would you do if your boyfriend was controlling? How would you get out of a controlling relationship? If you’re in a controlling relationship, are you afraid to get out?

Got something to add to this convo? Then go for it, girl! Let this girl know what you think about her situation right here.

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How Can I Reject A Friend Nicely?

Heather — Mon, 07 Jan 2013 21:00:40 +0000

Source: ShutterStock

Hey Heather,

This guy that I’m great friends with has recently become obsessively crush-y with me. At first, I tried to just ignore it and hoped he would stop, but now it’s really starting to get on my nerves. How can I reject him nicely without totally ruining our friendship?

Unfortunately, rejection is always going to hurt someone’s feelings – especially if you’re rejecting someone who has a crush on you. But despite the fact that it’s going to sting no matter what, there are nicer ways to go about it rather than just telling the dude to get lost. I can’t promise that you can keep your friendship intact (things might be sort of awkward), but I can tell you the nicest way possible to let this guy down.

If you’re really stressing over telling your friend you’re not interested in him that way, try a more subtle approach first. Don’t flirt back with him (you may be doing that without even realizing it) and don’t give him too much more attention than you give your other friends. Basically, don’t give him any reason to believe you like him back. You can also drop hints by mentioning other guys you think are cute or talking about your own crush. But don’t go overboard with that. You don’t want to completely kill this dude’s self-esteem.

Really, the best way to do this is to say something and get it over with. If this guy is head-over-heels for you, subtle attempts at letting him know you don’t feel the same way might not work. Has he ever came out and told you he likes you? Or has he ever asked you out? If so, respond by saying that while you love being his friend, you’re just not interested in him that way. I know that sounds harsh, but those simple terms don’t leave much room for a deeper meaning. If you say something like, “I’m not interested right now” or “I’m just not looking for a relationship right now” he might take that to mean that you will be interested in the future, and then you’ll get his hopes up.

If you do end up telling him you’re not interested, follow up that statement by telling him how much his friendship means to you. Let him know that you don’t want this to affect your relationship right now. I can’t say for sure whether or not your friendship will be okay after that. You may need to give him some time to get over the blow before things can go back to normal. If it’s too much for him to stay just friends with you, you need to respect that.

In the end, the best thing you can do is to be honest. Avoiding this guy or just blowing him off is a way of rejecting him, but it’s not a nice way. I mean, let’s be real, there is no nice way to reject someone. But by being truthful and open with the person, you’re showing them that you at least respect them enough to tell them what the deal is. And even if they don’t appreciate that right now, they will eventually.

take care,
Heather

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8 Things Your Boyfriend Should Never Blame You For

Meg Malone — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 21:00:35 +0000

When Taylor Swift started dating Harry Styles, you could sense the Internet panic that somehow she was going to be the undoing of One Direction. Not only do I think it’s highly unlikely that One Direction is going to split up (if anything, they are really just getting started!), but even in the case that they did part ways at some point, to put the blame all on one member’s girlfriend just isn’t fair at all.

If your boyfriend is constantly blaming you for things, it could be that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship and we urge you to seek out help because you deserve so much better than that situation. Sometimes though, even the best of boyfriends mess up and take the blame out on girlfriends for things that aren’t their fault at all — but that’s still not okay. Here are eight everyday things that your boyfriend shouldn’t blame you for happening.

His Band Breaks Up

Whether it is an actual band or simply his band of friends, the fact is that people drift apart for a whole host of reasons. There can be a lot to balance in life between family, school, work, sports, and yes relationships, but it also takes effort on the guy involved to make things work despite all those different areas requiring his focus. It's not your fault if he has chosen to place emphasis on different areas of his life and maybe that has impacted his friendships.

Source: Andres Otero/WENN.com

He Has A Bad Game

Every athlete has bad games. Okay, so maybe you being there makes him a little nervous, but considering he probably has nerves that also his whole family, the rest of the school and the local news is there, it's not fair to blame you when you've just been trying to be supportive. A part of sports is being able to block all that stuff out, and while that's really tough and it can be tempting to blame all those outside factors, he's got to know that you really had nothing to do with how the game went.

Source: Shutterstock.com

He's Super Tired

If he knows he needs 10 hours of sleep to function the next day, he shouldn't plan on chatting with you until midnight. It's nice to have those late-night talks with a significant other, but there's also some personal responsibility to make the decision to stick with bedtime and be done with the phone or Internet. Conversations are a two-way street, so to put all the blame on you for his night-owl habits just isn't fair.

Source: Shutterstock.com

He Was Late For Curfew

He knows what the rules are in his household, and it's his responsibility to adhere to them. It's not fair for him to act like seeing a movie that cuts it close to curfew is all okay, only to take it out on you when he's late getting home and now might be getting grounded.

Source: Shutterstock.com

He Has A Fight With His Parents

In addition to curfew rules, disagreements with parents can happen for a whole bunch of reasons, and maybe they don't see eye-to-eye when it comes to dating in general. That's a family situation, and just because you may be the girlfriend, that doesn't make it your fault when there's some kind of disagreement between parents and son at home.

Source: Shutterstock.com

He Got A Bad Grade

If he insists on studying with you, but seems more interested in flirting while you're busy cracking the books, that's not your fault at all. If he knows he won't really focus around you and won't be productive, then he should also know it could impact his grades. If he isn't putting the work in, it's not fair to somehow turn it around on you just because you were in the area.

Source: Shutterstock.com

You Can't Make Last-Minute Plans

You are a busy girl, and while you do make time to hang out with the BF, that doesn't mean you can drop your plans at any second to go hang out. When he suggests hanging out at the last minute but you have another obligation, he shouldn't be putting blame on you for ignoring him or prioritizing things over him. It's nice he wants to spend time together, but that's totally unfair to blame you for being selfish for simply having your own schedule.

Source: Shutterstock.com

He's Broke

It's 2013, and guys definitely don't need to pay all the time on dates - in fact, splitting bills is great to keep couple peace. The annoying thing is if he offers to pay, and then later starts complaining about how you cleaned him out. Ummm, you definitely didn't make him pay! That's just not cool to put forth a favor and then use it against someone.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Has a boyfriend ever blamed you for something that was totally not your fault? How did you handle it? Tell us in the comments!

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Ask A Guy: Do Guys Talk About Sex Stuff With Their Friends?

Ethan Fixell — Thu, 27 Dec 2012 23:00:18 +0000

Are they talking about YOU? | Source: ShutterStock

Dear Ethan,

What do guys tell their friends about sex? Do they explain every detail? Do they lie about stuff they’ve done? Do they talk about it like girls do? Do you think my boyfriend is telling his friends all the stuff we do? HELP!!!!!

First of all, breathe, girlfriend, BREATHE!

The truth is, if it’s is a one-night-stand we’re dealing with, then all bets are off – he may, indeed, reveal every little detail about your encounter to his friends. I wish I could vouch for my gender and assure you that we are all virtuous and respectful – but most guys are not, especially when we have no intention of hooking up with a girl again. And, unlike girls, who talk about sex plenty with each other, but often focus on its more romantic aspects and use euphemisms for private parts, guys do talk about the specific sexual acts which are done to “tits,” “asses,” and other words unfit for print here. You will never hear a guy refer to a girl’s genitals as her “thing.”

While dudes who discuss intimate details with their closest friends are often inevitable annoyances, guys who can’t be stopped from gossiping in public should simply not be trusted. And guys who lie about sexual encounters, while far less common, should be avoided altogether. Their motives may vary from case to case, but the vast majority of guys who lie about this type of stuff are merely insecure and trying to impress their friends. Unfortunately, it’s often at your expense – so while you don’t have to wage war against them, no guy has the right to brag about something that never happened. Not cool.

Relationships follow an entirely different guy code. The general rule is that the longer the relationship, the deeper the love, and the more private the sex. After my first date with my current girlfriend, I couldn’t resist telling my best friend every little detail about the makeout session. Now, two years later, I wouldn’t be caught dead telling any of my buddies what color underwear she owns (stop asking, Dave). Ultimately, if your boyfriend is incapable of keeping your sex life in the bedroom, he’s too immature to be a boyfriend.

Good luck!
Ethan

Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of ActualConversation.com. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell.com…or call his mom, Robin.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!

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Ask A Guy: How Do I Let Other Guys Know I’m Bisexual?

Ethan Fixell — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 23:00:18 +0000

Source: ShutterStock

Dear Ethan,

I’m bisexual but I guess not everyone knows that. I used to date a girl in my school (my school is really big) and everyone knows about that but a lot of people think I’m a lesbian, I guess. Now I have a crush on a guy. How do I let him know I’m bi and that he has a chance without just making a fool out of myself and telling him? Help!

Well, you’ve come to the right place, as I happen to have firsthand experience with this subject. Take comfort knowing that a former girlfriend of mine actually dated a girl before she started going out with me, which obviously didn’t stop us from getting together!

As I’ve written about before, some guys are actually into lesbians. And while you’re obviously not gay, I know that even more guys (i.e. most guys) are anything but turned off by girls who have had homosexual experiences.

I recommend that you act towards this guy as if you were a typical straight girl. By that, I don’t mean that you should deny your female relationship or be ashamed of it in any way – I give you props for simply pursuing whoever you share a connection with. But if this guy is cool enough to actually date you, he shouldn’t be fazed by your past experimentation. So you should go after him as any heterosexual would.

There are plenty of ways to signal to a guy that you like him. (Check out my post on how to flirt with a guy by clicking HERE). If he’s still not getting the message, or you’d like to be a little bit more open with him, find a way to hint at your interest in dudes while he’s around. For example, you can casually refer to a previous relationship with a guy. Or, of course, you can also always mention outright in his presence that you’re bisexual. Sometimes honesty, paired with a little directed flirtation, just works best!

Good luck!
Ethan

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!

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8 Love Lessons We’ve Learned From Zooey Deschanel

Meg Malone — Wed, 19 Dec 2012 21:00:19 +0000

The definitive ending of a relationship can really suck. You’ve likely invested a lot of time and emotion, and when it finally comes to an end, it’s usually a pretty big bummer. Even big-time stars aren’t shielded from break-ups – earlier this week the divorce of Zooey Deschanel and Ben Gibbard was finalized. The couple had been split up for awhile, but we can totally relate if Zooey’s feeling a little bummed out by the official-ness of it all, especially when the whole Internet is buzzing with the news.

The thing is though, Zooey is a super cool girl with a lot of awesome things going for her – just like you! Everyone’s love lives are full of some bumps along the way, and taking a glance at Zooey’s life provides a really valuable source of love lessons. Whether it’s how to get through the tricky stuff or smart practices to make your relationship work, we can all learn a lot from Zooey’s actions, words and characters.

Whether you’re in a relationship, just getting out of one, or looking for a new romance, here’s eight love lessons that’s we’ve picked up from Zooey Deschanel to help guide you through.

It's Okay If Things Don't Work Out

Look, if something doesn’t feel right or make you completely happy, you shouldn't feel trapped or obligated to sacrifice your well-being. It doesn't make you a failure or a bad person for ending a relationship. If you talk about it and handle it maturely, it actually could allow both of you to go on to find the happiness you truly deserve.

Source: Adriana M. Barraza / WENN.com

Don't Air Your Dirty Laundry

After a break-up, you may feel like venting, but if you get everyone talking about it, the less likely it is to go away. I don't really remember hearing Zooey talk about the personal details of her break-up with the media, and when I think about Zooey in the past year, only the success of her show comes to mind - not any lingering relationship details. It's a classy move to respect your former partner, but it also sets you up to get a fresh start.

Source: Jay Valena/ WENN.com

Try Becoming Friends First

Speaking of New Girl, we can also take a lesson from her character Jess and her roommate Nick (Jake Johnson). We can tell that Nick and Jess are kind of meant to get together, but there’s something really nice about watching them come to love each other as friends first. Forming a really strong bond like Jess and Nick can be a real plus if you decide to start a relationship down the line.

Source: Cousart/JFXimages/WENN.com

Guys Who Are Just Friends Are Okay Too

That said, you shouldn't feel pressured to strike up a relationship with a guy friend - whether your friends want you to or you're sick of being single - just because he happens to be there. You shouldn't settle like that, and it could damage those valuable friendships. Zooey is a great example of having some notable non-romantic friendships, like those with her former co-star Joseph Gordon-Levitt and her band partner M. Ward.

Source: Bridow/WENN.com

Don't Be Jealous Of Your Taken Sisters

Sometimes we find ourselves comparing our love lives to those around us. However, if you use other people as a measure of your happiness, it can get you down or make those people uncomfortable. Seeing her sister Emily married could maybe make Zooey feel resentful, but instead these two seem like great friends who support each other no matter what is happening in the other's love life.

Source: Adriana M. Barraza / WENN.com

Don't Get Stuck With One Type

Zooey is a lady of many talents, so it makes sense that when it comes to relationships, she's dated guys who have a variety of careers. She's dated actors, musicians and her alleged new boyfriend, Jamie Linden (pictured), is a screenwriter and director. It’s cool to learn some new things from who you are dating, so don’t be afraid to go for someone who maybe has different interests, skills or talents than yourself or your last boyfriend.

Source: WENN.com

Develop Your Passions Outside The Relationship

Between her website (HelloGiggles.com), her band, and her show, recently things seem to be going pretty great in many areas of Zooey’s life. By taking a little time to explore your own passions and enjoy your personal success, it builds up your self-confidence, self-worth and gives you time to think about what you really want out of a relationship. You'll go into your next one even better for it.

Source: WENN.com

Overall, Don't Judge Love

It's not only her actions, but her words that give us love lessons. We'll leave you with this wise gem attributed to Ms. Deschanel: "Love is individual to each person and I don’t think you can define it before experiencing it because it isn’t going to be the same for everybody.”

Source: Daniel Tanner/ WENN.com

What do you think about these love lessons from Zooey Deschanel? Are there any others that you would have added? Is there another celebrity whose life you get valuable love lessons from? Tell us about it in the comments!

Check out Zooey’s song that made our list of 11 Christmas Songs That Don’t Suck!

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7 Ways To Get Out Of A Toxic Relationship

Jessica Booth — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 20:38:11 +0000

Are you in a toxic relationship? Chances are, you might be… or you’ve already been in one, or you’re going to be in one. That might sound super negative, but it turns out it’s also kind of true: experts say that more than half of all people will be in a toxic relationship at some point of their life.

Don’t feel bad about getting yourself involved in a bad relationship – it can happen easier than you think, and once you’re involved in it, it can be really hard to get yourself out. Learning how to be strong enough to get rid of someone who is bad news can take time. If you feel like you’re in a toxic relationship, but you’re not sure how to end it, you’re probably not alone. Once we feel dependent on a person who’s been a huge part of our lives for a while, it’s really difficult to leave that person behind, no matter how terrible things are between you two.

So, how do you get yourself out of a toxic relationship? We’ve come up with a few tips to help you. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but in the end, it will definitely be worth it. Read these 7 ways to end a bad relationship – whether it’s for your sake, or your friends. One day, these tips might help.

Recognize Your Self-Worth

Girl - you're awesome. It's time you recognize that and ditch this loser who has been holding you back! Take a few minutes to think about all of the great things about yourself. Remind yourself that you deserve a dude who will treat you right all of the time, not just sometimes. If you really need help in the confidence department, consider speaking to someone like a trusted parent, friend or even a psychologist. Just keep telling yourself how awesome you really are, and soon you'll start to believe it.

Source: ShutterStock

Make A List Of Reasons Why You're Breaking Up

It's easy to have doubts before a breakup and to wonder if you're doing the right thing. To put your mind at ease, make a list of exactly why things need to end. Putting these reasons down on a paper may make them seem more real. It's a good way to remind yourself of why he doesn't deserve a second chance. Don't throw this out!

Source: ShutterStock

Build Up A Support System

I won't sugarcoat things - breaking up with this guy is going to be hard. So before you do it, make sure you have a support system who will have your back when you're feeling really sad. This can be your besties, your mom, family members - whoever you feel really close to and comfortable with. Fill them in on what's going on and let them know you'll need their help to get through this.

Source: ShutterStock

Practice Your Breakup Speech

Don't go into this breakup unprepared. It's harder to end a toxic relationship than it is to end a good relationship, because there are a lot more emotions involved. And if this guy is manipulative, it's going to be even more difficult. Make a mental note of everything you want to say and how you want to say it - then practice in front of a mirror, or if you feel comfortable, your friends. When the times come for the real breakup speech, you'll be less likely to fumble your words or say something you don't mean.

Source: ShutterStock

Make Plans So You're Busy After The Breakup

After a hard breakup, we sometimes feel like all we want to do is curl up in bed and not move for the next six months. Don't do that! Keeping yourself busy is going to help you forget about your ex and move on. Arrange a few "dates" with your bestie, make plans with a friend or family member you haven't seen in a while, ask your boss for some extra hours. Just don't allow yourself to be in bed after the breakup - it will make you lonely and more likely to rethink your decision.

Source: ShutterStock

Review That Breakup List

Remember that list I told you to make before the breakup? There was a reason I said don't throw it out - so that you can look at it later on. It's normal to have feelings of regret and loneliness after a tough breakup. You might feel like you want to go back to your ex, so you need to remind yourself why you broke up in the first place. This list will give you some serious flashbacks.

Source: ShutterStock

Start Moving On

It might take some time before you feel like you're ready to move on. But once you get past the really tough times, you need to start going forward with your life - and making yourself your top priority.

Source: ShutterStock

Do you think you’re in a toxic relationship right now? Are any of your friends? What do you think about this advice? Tell us in the comments!

5 signs that you’re in a toxic relationship
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How To Break Up With Him

Melanie Abrahams — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 00:00:31 +0000

There are many right ways to break those ties. | Source: Shutterstock

Okay, so you know you want to break up but have no idea in hell how to do it, right? (Otherwise, I’m not quite sure why you’re reading this, but you know, whatever.) There’s lots of advice out there on how to break up with him, but the thing I’ve found is that they all get it wrong. It’s always just one technique and it never takes into account why you want to break up with this guy. Personally, I think how you break up with him has everything to do with the situation.

So, ladies, before you start breaking hearts, read my list of ways to break up with him depending on what’s going on with you two. The whole break up process will still suck (sorry about that), but at least you’ll have a road map to get you through.

If You’ve Been On A Couple Dates
If you’ve been on three dates or less, or have been dating for less than a month, I think it’s okay to just call him and tell him you don’t think this is working out for you, and it’s better to be friends. You weren’t necessarily boyfriend and and girlfriend yet anyway, so it’s okay not to have the big, serious, in-person break up talk.

If You’re Just Not Into It Anymore
Maybe you were head over heels about seven months ago, but now? Not so much. Just because your feelings have moved on doesn’t mean his have, which is why you need to handle this one really carefully. Definitely see him in person, alone, on his turf (having him over to your place and then making him leave after is way cruel!). Tell him you need to have a serious talk and explain that you care about him but don’t think the relationship is working for you anymore. Don’t indulge him in a “final kiss” or tell him if there’s someone else you’re interested in, because honestly, none of that matters. All that matters is that this isn’t working for you, and if he cares about you, he’ll eventually see that this break up is for the best–even if he’s super crushed at first.

If He Cheated On You
You might still be totally in love with him, but cheating is a major deal breaker for a lot of girls (including me, I’ve got to say!) and so you might want to call it quits when you find out he’s been sneaking around with someone else. If that’s the case, I still think you should do it in person if possible–and tell him exactly why it’s over. He didn’t hold up his end of the relationship, and if he’d really wanted you, well then, he wouldn’t have been with her. Done and done. No need to make apologies or be super nice with this one, but DO avoid blaming the other girl. It’s not her fault your dude is a snake!

If He’s Abusive
It’s best not to do this break up in person. Have a family member or friend with you when you call him, and tell him that you aren’t happy anymore in the relationship, and you need to break up. Some emotionally abusive guys might threaten to hurt themselves if you’re ending the relationship–and if your guy does this, have your friend call 911 to send help his way. You’re breaking up with him so he won’t have this kind of control over you anymore, remember?! And if he’s physically abusive and says he’s coming over to find you (or threatens you in some other way), also call 911. Love shouldn’t hurt like that, and that’s why you’re ditching him.

What do you think about these break up techniques? Have you ever had to break up with someone? How’d you do it? Tell me in the comments!

And Here’s How You SHOULDN’T Break Up With Him

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Should You Take Him Back?

Gurl — Fri, 14 Dec 2012 22:00:34 +0000

Tough love alert! Should you take him back?! Hmm, well, Sara’s helping a girl deal with a break up that just won’t stick. She keeps getting back together with her ex and she wants to know how she can tell if she should really trust him again. Well, Sara’s got three words for this girl, “one and done.” As in, break up with him once and never get back together with him again. It’s tough to hear, but Sara will walk you through how to break up and stay broken with your ex.

Do you think it’s ever okay to take him back? Would you take a guy back? Tell us in the comments!

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A Recipe For Love: 8 Romantic Lessons Learned From “Top Chef”

Meg Malone — Fri, 14 Dec 2012 21:36:03 +0000

I subscribe to a very Liz Lemon lifestyle, and one of the many similarities that we share is our love of cooking shows. Of all the cooking shows in my life, one reigns supreme: Top Chef. Now, you may think that if I watched so many cooking shows on TV, I’d be so good at cooking that I could hang with the best of those chefs. Well you would be very, very wrong. I famously once served runny cookies to my friends who had come over (though I will continue to insist that something was wrong with the oven and not me as a chef).

So I haven’t really learned much about cooking from all my TV watching, but I have got some surprising life lessons from Top Chef about love. That’s right! Turns out that many parallels can be drawn from the chef universe to the world of love. Maybe it’s a little unconventional or a little weird to get my love tips from chefs on a cooking show, but hey – sometimes the best foods are a little weird, amirite? Here are eight love lessons that I’ve learned from Top Chef.

You Always Want What You Can't Have

When I watch Top Chef, I want whatever they are eating and everything on my plate suddenly is total trash. Did I ever think I wanted a lamb-stuffed thing? No, but now I need it. Over time though, I've learned to be happy with whatever I do have. Same goes for love - there’s no use wasting my time wanting some guy that seems cool from afar when I got my own good thing going right here at home.

Source: Hulu

Have A Good Pick-Up Line

Emeril wins the world over with his one-word line (“BAM!”) and now he judges the greatest reality show ever (in my opinion). I take this to mean that if you have a really good, memorable line to draw someone in, amazing things are bound to happen. This is something I think I should apply to the dating world. If you can charm with your words, that’s romance gold. Basically, my pick-up line will soon be coming to the nearest awkward holiday party.

Source: YouTube

A Little Flirting Doesn't Hurt

Top Chef generally lacks the romance drama of other reality TV, but flirting has its place. This year, I was taken with the flirty lives of Grayson and “Malibu Chris” on Top Chef: Texas, but I think my favorites of the year are Spike and Jen from Life After Top Chef (as seen above-centered). Yeah, they aren’t dating, whatever. But chefs lead high-stress lives, and I’ve learned from my TV chef friends that a little flirting is sometimes just what you need to give you a little boost and a smile.

Source: Hulu

Rebound Relationships Can Be Real Relationships

When Top Chef: Texas ended, I was pretty upset because I didn’t know what to do without my wannabe BFF, host Padma Lakshmi, in my life. But then I started watching Top Chef Masters. I was expecting it to be just a way to hold me over until I could get back with my real love, but I really enjoyed my time with this new show and I came to love it for its own self. I learned that rebound relationships can surprise you and be super meaningful too (also, Curtis Stone is pretty cute).

Source: Hulu

Looks Can Be Deceiving

Sometimes on Top Chef there's something that I think looks amazing that the judges end up hating. Other times, I do a secret "ew" when something comes out (like, what is that pictured?). The judges get to taste and experience the dishes so they know what's really up, while I'm just making judgy opinions based on looks. It's similar to dating, my friends - people that seem great can still suck, and people that don't seem like your type may actually be awesome. It's all about the hidden ingredients, and you need to actually experience it to know.

Source: Hulu

Don't Settle (For Shrimp Or A Date)

When pre-cooked shrimp got bought in an early team challenge episode of Top Chef: Texas, not only did they talk about shrimp the entire season, but I learned a valuable lesson about settling. You can't just cut corners in cooking, nor in relationships. Don't just be cool with someone "buying pre-cooked shrimp" as I say - expect them to put some effort into your partnership. Discuss it with them and don't wait until the reunion episode.

Source: Hulu

Use Protection

Every time there's a hand injury on Top Chef, I want to pass out like I did during the first aid video in 8th grade. Many times these chefs rally back into cooking action, but they are sure to have a glove firmly fastened on for safety. These chefs think about protection, and it reminds that if you choose to partake in some "action" in your relationship (read: sexual activities), you too should be sure to use protection too.

Source: BravoTV.com

Make Time For Your Loved Ones

Richard is an all-time fave Top Chef contestant, but the man seems so stressed out and guilty for doing his chef duties (such as pictured) instead of being with his family. Chefs lead really busy lives, so watching them on Top Chef reminds me to follow my passions, but not to take for granted the time I can spend with my boyfriend.

Source: Hulu

Do you agree with my Top Chef love lessons? What sorts of love lessons have you gotten from TV? Do you love watching cooking shows on TV as much as I do? Tell us in the comments!

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