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Racism sucks. I think we can all agree on that; well, all of us who are aware that it is still a prevalent problem that affects everything from an average jail sentence to whether or not I’m going to be followed around in a clothing store. Unfortunately, some people who see themselves as very progressive and anti-racist are doing more harm for victims of racism than good. That’s why I’m going to talk a little about something that I think is the most destructive concept that supposedly anti-racist people adhere to: Color blindness.

How many of you have heard this: I don’t see color! It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white or green or purple.

If you’ve used this line before, know this: You’re doing it wrong. Like, really, what are you doing? Stop, right now. Please.

I get why the color blind approach to racism is popular. Color blindness suggests that the best way to end racism and racial discrimination is by treating everyone the same. It sounds nice, right? We can all agree that people should be treated equally, so what’s so bad about color blindness?

Here’s what’s bad about it: Color blindness thrives on the notion that racism isn’t really a problem anymore, and that everyone and everything is judged purely on merit. The problem is that that’s a bunch of crap and isn’t true whatsoever. Studies have shown that color blindness actually makes people more racist. Color blindness is really just an easy way for people who don’t experience racism (i.e. generally white people) to feel a little less squirmy about the possibility that racism is still a problem. The best way to feel less squirmy is to ignore it, because we all know that the more you ignore something, the faster it’ll go away, right?

Right?

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Well, I’ve tried that plenty of times with dirty dishes, and it hasn’t worked yet. The same can be said for racism.

Our generation has been raised to embrace equality, but many of us take the concept so far that we fail to acknowledge basic facts. For people who embrace color blindness, fighting racism is no longer about acknowledging existing inequities in society. Nope, now it’s all about pretending that it is no longer a problem because we have a black president and because one of your best friends is Mexican and you really love Korean food, so everything is all fine and dandy and you can’t possibly be racist.

Does that sound as ridiculous to you as it does to me? Well, I’ve heard people say ” I don’t see color and my best friend is [insert race/ethnicity here] so I can’t be racist” so many times that it makes my head spin.

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If you still don’t see what’s so wrong with color blindness, look at it this way: By claiming not to “see color” you’re refusing to acknowledge the fact that race still matters in 2013. For example, I’m black. Telling me that you don’t see me as black is not only a lie, but it is also incredibly dismissive of my experiences as a young, black woman. How am I supposed to share stories about dealing with racial insensitivity when I’m talking to someone who believes that racism is merely a product of the past, and that race isn’t important as long as I don’t make it important.

I’ve had to deal with plenty of friends dismissing my personal encounters with racial insensitivity. People say that I’m exaggerating, or that I’m only seeing something as racist because I want to. Newsflash: Nobody goes out of their way to experience racism. We don’t look for it, we’re not swapping stories about racism like they’re Pokemon cards, trying to one up each other for fun.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the luxury to be color blind. I don’t have the luxury to ignore race. I don’t have the luxury to assume that everyone will see me as a fellow human being instead of a black chick. When I wake up every morning I see two things when I look in the mirror: First, I see Ashley. Second, I see a black woman.

Which brings up another reason why I hate the idea of color blindness: It suggests that acknowledging my blackness is shameful. When you say that you don’t see my color, you’re saying that you don’t see a pretty big part of my life. Well, despite all the negativity that comes with it, I like being black. So I don’t want it to be something that someone can decide to ignore because it makes them uncomfortable. My blackness isn’t like the wilted piece of lettuce you find in your salad and quickly discard.

If your non-white friend decided to open up to you about someone calling her a racial slur, telling her that we all bleed red isn’t helpful. You might think that coming up with arbitrary crayola colors (Robin’s Egg Blue, anyone?) is somehow making your friend feel better, but if they’re anything like me you’re making them feel worse. Dealing with racism is bad, but having your experiences dismissed is even worse.

Instead of being color blind, allow yourself to acknowledge the fact that racism is still a problem that hurts a lot of people in a lot of different ways. Some acts of racism are violent and obvious, others are more subtle and even unintentional. If you want to really be an ally for people who experience racism, listen to them. That’s all you have to do: Listen.

Source: Tumblr

And please, if you do happen to run into somebody who is purple, take them to the hospital immediately; they might be choking.

What do you think about a color blind approach to racism? Do you experience people dismissing your experiences with racism? Tell us in the comments!

ACK! Are You Wearing One Of These Offensive Costumes?

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Cell phones are great. In fact, they’re fantastic. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m obsessed with my iPhone. I take it everywhere with me – it’s basically an extension of my hand. Without my phone, I feel incomplete… and no, I’m not being dramatic.

So, I get it. I get that we all want to spend a lot of time on our cell phones because we can do awesome things on them. We can be in constant contact with anyone, we can keep tabs on all the Facebook statuses, we can secretly play games and make it look like we’re doing something important, we can ogle Instagram pictures and tweet everything. That’s all great. But there are times when  we need to put our cell phones down. Did you hear me? Stop looking at your screen! Put your cell phones down.

One time when we really need to stash those cell phones away? When we’re hanging out with our friends and/or family members.  I have a few friends who insist on using their phones no matter where we are or what we’re talking about. One friend in particular is obsessed with her phone. She is constantly on her phone. She’ll be sitting in a room full of all of our friends and she’ll still have her cell phone out, texting, tweeting, checking out Facebook, doing I don’t even know what. 

My friend has been like this with her cell for a while now, but recently, it’s really started to bug me. A few weeks ago, a bunch of us were hanging out when it started snowing. We all ran out to play in the snow like little kids. As we ran around laughing, my friend literally stood there doing things on her phone. She missed out on our super fun hang-out sesh in the snow because she was on her cell phone.

Would you like it if your BF did it to you? No? Then don’t do it to friends! | Source: ShutterStock

And when we went to the nail place the other day, she stayed on her phone the entire time we got pedicures. I was in the middle of updating her on my life and she literally just sat there going, “Mm-hmm. Yeah. I know. OMG, I know.” while not once taking her eyes off of her cell. It’s not like my life is super interesting, but come on! In case you were wondering, she kept it next to her while she got a manicure and kept interrupting the manicurist to text people back. I’m not kidding. 

If you’re doing this, please stop. Seriously. I don’t know if you realize this, but staring at your cell phone screen while having a conversation with someone is incredibly rude. Like, it’s so rude it’s not even funny. Would you, or do you, enjoy having an intense conversation with someone whose not looking at you who seems like they’re in some faraway land? I didn’t think so.

Even if you think you’re a talented enough multi-tasker to be on your phone and be fully engaged in a convo at the same time – you’re wrong. Sorry, but you are. Cell phones are a distraction. There’s no way you can read statuses or look at pictures while listening 100 percent to someone else. You’re maybe 80 percent engaged in the conversation. Maybe. That’s being generous.

I mean, wouldn’t you rather enjoy what you’re doing at the moment instead of focusing on what everyone else is doing? Like I said, cell phones are distracting. While staring at your phone, you’re probably missing out on a bunch of stuff without even realizing it. You don’t want to be that annoying person who says, “Wait, what?” after everything that’s said. No one likes that person.

You might as well just say you’re bored. | Source: ShutterStock

Plus, how do you think the people you’re with feel? I’ll tell you how they feel: like you’re completely disinterested in what’s happening around you. When my friend looks at her phone more than she looks at my face when we’re hanging out, I feel like she doesn’t even want to be there with me. I feel like she has so many better things to do, like she can’t wait to leave and like she’s not even listening to anything I’m saying. It sucks.

So, seriously, put your cell phone away when you’re hanging with your friends. I’m not saying you can’t touch it at all or that you need to turn it off the whole time you’re with them (although doing that once in a while would be good for you). Just don’t look at it the whole time. Don’t check social media sites unless you absolutely need to. You will still be able to see stuff in a few hours. Don’t have lengthy text message conversations with people who aren’t there. That’s basically the equivalent of talking on the phone while you’re with a friend – would you do that? Probably not. So don’t text forever either.

Putting your phone in your bag until you need it will only bring good things, I promise. You’ll be able to fully focus on what’s happening around you. You’ll be able to give your friends your full attention, thus coming off as a better friend who cares about them. Hang-outs will be more fun. Everyone will be happy. Your friends won’t think you’re a brat. It’s a win-win situation, so please, put the cell phone away.

Are you guilty of using your cell when with your friends? Do you have any friends who are constantly on their cell phones? Do you think it’s really rude? Tell me in the comments.

Why even just checking your phone is distracting

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However, it’s a bit insulting to audiences that Hollywood thinks we can’t handle a new idea. I am sure there are plenty of talented writers, actors, and directors who have something else to say instead of repeating someone else’s ideas that are decades old. Yes, Spiderman, “with great power comes great responsibility.” Got it. Thanks, Uncle Ben. Can you teach me a new lesson? By now we all know that Spiderman was bit by a radioactive spider. It’s not really exciting when you know who the good guys are, who the bad guys are and that the good guys will always win.

Reboots happen in one of two ways. Usually they just copy the story and hire new actors. Or they use the name of the franchise and completely change everything. The second one is a marketing tool to get people who remember the old franchise to see the new one. For example, the new 21 Jump Street was nothing like the old show starring Johnny Depp. Why not just call it something else? Another thing that bugs me is that recycling an old franchise limits the kinds of things that can happen. It makes things boring and predictable to watch. The new 90120 only got really good when they stopped trying to reference the old characters and it was able to grow into its own show.

The Addams Family remake was perfection. / Credit: WENN.com

I absolutely loved the X-Men cartoon, I loved the first two movies, but did we really need Wolverine, Dead Pool, and First Class? Too much of a good thing can make you sick. If you eat too much ice cream it’s not going to taste so good. Better yet, when you have something all the time it loses what makes it special. Kind of like when your favorite T-shirt becomes the blouse that you haven’t worn in years.

I don’t think we should stop rebooting things altogether. But it’s sort of annoying that when I go to the movies everything is either a comic book or television reboot. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I like to watch movies where I can’t predict the ending from watching the trailer.

Do you like movie Reboots? Let us know in the comments!

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There are few things I love more than fall clothes shopping. After months of traipsing around in tank tops, bikinis and denim shorts that inevitably get sweaty and faded from the sun, it’s always nice to turn to cooler weather clothing. There’s just so much to buy: jackets, raincoats, cozy sweaters, flannel shirts, cute sweats, boots… the list could go on and on. But the absolute worst part of fall shopping (for me at least)? Buying jeans.

I hate jean shopping. That’s not necessarily because I hate jeans. A good pair of denim can be an excellent staple in your wardrobe that you can re-wear a million times. They’re comfy, they’ve got the whole casual but chic thing going on, and you don’t have to shave your legs to wear them. All good things. But finding a pair that fits my 5’0 frame? I’ve decided that it’s pretty much impossible.

If you’re a shorty like me, you probably deal with this also. Jeans are constantly too long on me! The majority of jeans I try on are literally long enough to cover my feet and STILL have more leg room. Or, they almost fit, except not really, because all of the extra material just bunches up around my ankles and looks dumb.

I know what you’re probably thinking: well then buy petite sizes, Jessica. Um, I do. But I honestly don’t know who they’re making these petite sizes for, because even those are too long for me. Do denim companies realize that there are grown adults out there who are 5’0 and under and they like jeans also?

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And when I do finally find a store that carries petite sizes that actually work for my height, I still can’t get lucky: most of the time these stores only have a few select styles and colors in petites, and only a handful of different number sizes. There’s barely any selection. I can walk past rows of fun, interesting jeans, and then only have about three to choose from that will actually fit me. I feel like I’m missing out on so many denim possibilities. It stinks.

I know that I can just buy regular jeans and get them hemmed, but do you have any idea how annoying that is? Not only do I have to spend $80 on brand new jeans, but then I have to go to a seamstress and pay even more money just so that they fit. It takes more time and effort and frankly, I’m either too busy/too lazy to do it.

This may sound like a super lame problem to every lucky girl out there who doesn’t have to struggle to find a good pair of jeans, but trust me… it’s not lame. It’s really annoying and frustrating. What’s wrong with making a few extra petite jeans? What’s wrong with making them actually petite? When I was in high school, the fact that I couldn’t find jeans that fit me really bummed me out. It made me feel bad about being short, like it was something that was totally abnormal and I didn’t deserve a good pair of denim unless I had long legs to fill it out. And I love being short, so I hated feeling that way.

The only comfort is knowing that I’m not alone. Every woman in my family is tiny like me, so we all have the same jeans problem, and the same goes for my best friends. Oh, and tall girls don’t always have it easy either. One day, when I was complaining about my jean problem to a co-worker, a super tall girl I worked with overheard. She said, “At least you can hem them. I’m so tall that jeans are too short on me, and there’s nothing I can do about that.”

So this is a plea to all denim companies out there: please start making more jeans for both short and tall girls, and start making our lives easier. Please!

Do you have this problem with jeans? Are you too short or too tall for most sizes? What do you hate the most about back to school shopping? Tell me in the comments!

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Who are you to tell them what they are? | ShutterStock.com

“You’re Dominican? You don’t look Dominican.” Well, I am Dominican so this is what a Dominican looks like.

“You look Dominican, but you DON’T look Puerto Rican.” Well I am Puerto Rican so this is what a Puero Rican looks like.

“You’re not Latina. You’re Black. It doesn’t matter what you are, it matters how you look. Is Obama Black or White? He’s Black because that’s how he looks.” No he is Black AND White because that is what he is and that is how he identifies.

And from you guys–who haven’t even seen me.

“If you’re Latina and Haitian you don’t really have hair like Gabby because you’re mixed. Gabby, just like every African American has African American hair, so don’t try to relate. If anything your hair is curly and looks slick and I doubt you have ever needed a perm.”

My grandpa’s grandma is one of these slaves. We’re not sure which one, but we know these kids were brought in from Ethiopia. My grandpa was born in 1912, so I would imagine this is the early to mid-1800s. Crazy, I know.

My mom’s parents look radically different from each other. My grandma had really fair skin and light brown hair because her dad was from Spain and mother was Native American and Puerto Rican. My grandpa had really deep, dark skin and tight, curly hair being Haitian and Puerto Rican. My dad’s mom has milk chocolatey brown skin. I’ve never seen or met his dad.

Not all Latin people look like Jennifer Lopez or Jessica Alba. (For example most people don’t realize Zoe Saldana is Dominican and Puerto Rican, not African American and Troian Bellisario who plays Spencer on Pretty Little Liars is half Black.) This is a modern myth that the media would like you to believe. The same way they would like you to believe that being thin, white, and blond is the only form of beauty you should aspire to.

I am the darkest person in my immediate family. When I was born, my brother who was VERY pale as a kid, (according to my parents) said, “Oh my god, she is Black!” Up until then my brother thought he was Caucasian because he was so fair. Then my parents explained that we’re Latino, we’re ethnically mixed by default. Latin people are typically of Native American, Spanish, and African American descent. This is because the Spanish were the first Europeans to colonize South America. They enslaved Native Americans, then brought in Africans because they were “stronger” laborers. Naturally this meant that there’d be a lot of hooking up (and rape) among races–even though the Native Americans and Africans were considered sub-human.

This is my Great Grandma. A Native Taino and Puerto Rican.

Race is complicated in America because of well, racism, and Jim Crowe. Before Jim Crowe laws which used techniques like, if you’re darker than a paper bag you’re Black or if you’re 1/8th Black then you’re fully Black to discriminate, race was more open. There were different ethnic categories, Mulatto meant you were Black and White, Mestizo meant you were Native and European, Creole meant you were Black and French.

Race was made explicit and was openly discussed in order to categorize people. You weren’t one thing, you were every single thing that you were and how those dice fell determined a lot about the kind of privileges you could have in society. Later on, Jim Crowe made anyone who was brown-skinned Black. Then when the idea of assimilation came along in the 1890s you didn’t want to be anything but American. This worked best if you were European. You could just be White. However, being a person of color is pretty obvious, you can’t pass for anything but someone with color pigments. So even after assimilation all people of color were still Black.

There’s me and my favorite doll.

Should race matter? It shouldn’t matter when it comes down to rights, privileges, and social status. But anything that implies what your heritage and traditions are like does matter. Whether that be your race, ethnicity, religion, or creed. The way you were raised matters. Our differences are not only what make us unique, they shape us into the people that we are, and they provide us with the experiences that help define us later on. I will not have my history or experiences, like so many of my enslaved ancestors, be taken away because you think I look a certain way.

Do people ever get mixed up about your heritage? Let us know in the comments!

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Maybe this wasn’t always the case, but ever since her very public breakdown Britney hasn’t quite been the same. We all remember that strange VMA performance of “Gimme More” where she half-heartedly danced and shimmied, leaving audiences awe-struck at just how much she seemed to not want to be there.

When her next album Circus dropped, with the awesome videos for “Womanizer”, “Circus”, and the infamous, “If You Seek Amy”, I was sure the old Britney was back.

I shelled out almost 100 bucks to see her in concert on the Circus Tour. Did she dance?! Nope. Did she sing? Nope. So what did she do? She mostly just walked back and forth across the stage without enthusiasm.

Britney Spears Then vs. Now

Britney hasn’t lost her ability. She has lost her heart.

Look, I know anything I am saying is pure speculation, but I know so much about Brit-Brit. I’ve written more than one college paper on her and the perils of fame–call me obsessed. (No really, call me obsessed.)

I can only suggest that the fact that she began dancing at three and booked her first talent agent at eight shows that she had no choice in pursuing this kind of career. Both her mom and dad are so heavily involved in her decision making that I can’t help but feel they used their daughters (Jamie Lynn Spears as well) as moneymakers. After Brit’s breakdown she was placed under a conservatorship that still has not been lifted. This means that the courts decided she was “mentally unfit” to manager herself so her father and lawyer have control of her assets. Yeah, that’s all of her money, property, contracts, and career.

Britney isn’t legally allowed to make any decisions regarding her entire life.

Child stars with questionable parents are nothing new. The thing is, we accuse Dina and Michael Lohan of being bad parents (which they are) but that’s only because Lindsay has had such a turbulent relationship with fame. We never question the parenting motives of those who have successful careers. Success (or money) is just an excuse for pushing a young, vulnerable kid into the celebrity freakshow.

I’m not saying talented kids aren’t totally excited to be singers and actresses–who wouldn’t be? But the more you’re “in the game” so to speak, the harder it is to get out. Think of all the contracts, all the people that you employee (dancers, producers, agents, etc.) who rely on you, your family is counting on you, the public is watching you–it’s an impossible thing to quit. The younger you are when you’re pushed into it, the harder it becomes to get out.

Britney was just 16 when she became a superstar almost overnight. Her whole life is fame, she knows nothing else, it’s only natural she have a breakdown, but it’s only natural she doesn’t know how to quit.

She openly discussed her sadness in Britney Spears: For The Record. Britney says her life is, “Too in control. There’s no excitement. There’s no passion. It’s like Ground Hog Day everyday.”

Britney Spears: For The Record

I wish her “handlers” and managers would just let her quit. Just let her be free. We have six albums, a ton of videos and live performances to remember her EPIC greatness. Though it seemed ridiculous when Chris Crocker said it at the time, but now, seriously–leave Britney alone!

Do you think Britney is happy? Let us know in the comments!

Enough! I can’t take these statuses anymore! | Source: ShutterStock

The other day, I woke up and it was raining outside. Like, really pouring – thunder, lightning, all that fun stuff. I logged onto Facebook (as I do every morning, obviously), and immediately noticed that my Newsfeed was filled with about a thousand different variations on the same exact status:

“OMG it’s raining so hard!”

“Wow… it’s really raining.”

“Do you guys see this rain right now?!”

Um, yes, I do see the rain. I have a window. I know it’s raining. I didn’t log onto Facebook to see a bunch of pointless weather updates – I logged onto Facebook to see what was going on with my friends, do a little stalking and check out some pictures.

Maybe this is a completely pointless rant, but Facebook weather updates are one of my ultimate pet peeves. I don’t understand why people feel the need to update their status about, of all things, weather. It just seems totally unnecessary and annoying to me. Unless we’re in the middle of some crazy natural disaster (in which case, I hope updating your FB status isn’t your top priority), bland and boring status about the weather are not something anyone is interested in reading.

Is it raining? Not sure, better check Facebook. | Source: ShutterStock

The only thing I hate more than up-to-the-minute updates on weather we’re all experiencing and don’t need a notification about is people complaining about the weather. Listen, guys, I know that Mother Nature can be annoying. Sometimes you just want it to be nice and sunny outside, and instead there’s a torrential downpour. Sometimes you’re in a bad mood and you wish the weather would match that mood, but actually it’s the most beautiful day of the year. I get it. Weather is frustrating. But here’s the thing: there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Like, ever. It doesn’t matter how much you whine and moan about it, it’s not going to change. So what exactly is the point of bombarding your Facebook friends with your complaints?

I’m not even talking about a complaint once in a while – I’m talking about those people who hate the weather no matter what it’s doing outside. I have a few Facebook friends who do this, and I’m seriously considering blocking them from my Newsfeed. In the winter, it was a million statuses like this: “OMG it’s so cold! I can’t wait until summer, UGHHH!” Now that it’s summer and it’s hot, they make a million statuses like this: “OMG it is way too hot outside. I’m melting, so annoying.” Well, which is it?! Do you want it to be cold or hot? Or are you just going to whine about it either way?

I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, but I don’t care. And I don’t think anyone else does either. You know how talking about the weather is considered boring small talk that you discuss whenever you have nothing better to say? Yeah, well it’s not much more interesting when it’s posted online either. So please, do everyone a favor and keep your weather comments to yourself.

Do you get annoyed about this also? Or do you think I’m being dramatic? What makes you really angry about Facebook? Tell us in the comments!

Could putting pictures on Facebook ruin your life?

Do you shower once a day? | Source: ShutterStock

Okay, before you get completely grossed out by the title of this post, let me assure you that I do shower on a regular basis. I don’t (think) I smell, my hair is always clean and I have lots of fun, yummy-smelling bath products that get put to very good use.

I’m talking about a conversation I’ve had countless times with guys. Most guys I know, including my boyfriend and my brother, wake up and shower every single morning. They roll out of bed in the AM, go into the shower and come out 20 minutes later; ready to conquer the day, smelling good and looking clean. But I don’t shower everyday – and for some reason, guys just don’t get it. Then we have this convo:

Boyfriend/brother/dude: “Aren’t you going to shower?”

Me: “Nah.”

BF/bro/dude: “But… that’s gross.”

Me: “I just showered yesterday.

BF/bro/dude: “So what? It’s still gross.”

I know I’m not the only one who’s had this conversation before, and honestly, I’m so sick of defending myself! It is not gross to skip a shower once in a while. If I showered the afternoon or night before, and did pretty much nothing all night, I’m not going to wake up in the morning and wash myself. I mean, yeah, if I just worked out or felt super sweaty, I’d definitely jump in the shower. But if I spent the night watching movies in my PJs, what’s the big deal about showering later on or the next day?

Here’s the thing: dudes can hop in and out of the shower in a few minutes. Most of them have very little hair to wash, half of them don’t even understand what conditioner does (or maybe that’s just my BF) and they don’t have to shave their legs or armpits. Once they’re out of the shower, they’re pretty much good to go – they just have to throw on some clothes and they can walk out the door.

For me, it’s not that simple. Maybe there are some girls who shower quickly and were lucky enough to be born with hair that dries neatly on it’s own. But I am so not one of those girls, and neither are a lot of ladies I know.

This stuff takes time! | Source: ShutterStock

My showers are a process. I have a lot more hair than the majority of the guys I know – meaning that shampooing and conditioning (and maybe deep conditioning, if necessary) takes longer than five minutes. I have to shave in there, and guys, I don’t know if you’ve ever tried standing on one foot on a slippery surface while holding a razor, but let me tell you: it’s not fun.

Once I’m out of there, I then have to worry about my hair and makeup. Sure, some days I jump out of the shower, put my hair in a wet ponytail, forgo makeup and call it a day. But most days, it’s not that easy. I have to blow out of my hair, then straighten or curl it. I have to apply all of my makeup. I have to moisturize and primp and all that good stuff. And then I still need time to pick out what I’m going to wear.

So, no, I don’t shower every morning. Sometimes I do all of it right before I go to sleep, so I can wake up a little later and start my day right away. Sometimes I’m just too lazy to do my hair when it looks fine as it is… besides, it’s not even healthy for your hair to wash it every day. And sometimes, I wash my body off without getting my head wet.

My point is, stop calling me gross for not showering every morning like you. Unless, of course, you want to start complaining about how long I take to get ready.

Do you shower every day? Do guys ever call you gross for not showering? Can you totally relate with my problem? Or do you shower all the time? Let me know in the comments!

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This is prime example of how clueless our culture is when thinking about women. In one of the most well-intentioned moves in feminism, one of the most sexist things was created. I can’t imagine what it was like sitting in this board meeting.

“We need to get more girls into math and science!”

“I know, let’s make science look girly!”

“Right. We’ll just throw in some eyes shadows, lipsticks, and models–then we’ll toss in a microscope! Bing. Bam. BOOM! Feminism!”

“All in favor?” All in favor.

You know what this video could have done? It could have showed all different kinds of women doing all kinds of cool stuff! Girls creating video games or women changing the face of cancer research. Here’s some more CRAZY ideas, girls making robots, making new iPhone apps, and yes, sure, creating new cosmetic products.

Do you know what this video did instead? It suggested: Hey, you! You’re a girl! You like pink stuff! You like makeup! You like fashion! Science has pink, makeup, and fashion. You probably didn’t know that because you’re a stupid girl!

ShutterStock.com

The only actual scientist in the video is a MAN and the women in it are flirting with him. None of this makes ANY sense.

I know there are plenty of chic and fashionable female scientists, but that really shouldn’t be the selling point of science, you know? The year is 2012 and the only way we think we can communicate to girls is through beauty and fashion? We are so much more than that.

Scientific Fact: Girls are smart. You wouldn’t think girls could be scientists if you didn’t think girls were smart, right? So what is all this?! Really, I want to know what the European Commission was thinking!

Yeah, it totally sucks that there aren’t more women in science, but this isn’t changing anyone’s views. Give me a role model, not a bottle of nail polish.

Remember Jane Goodall? Azure Bowie who designs The Sims video games? Sally Ride, the first female astronaut from America to go into space? Lida Fried who made that awesome feminist LEGO set?

Show us that women can make a difference and break ground in this field. Stop sending the message that no matter where we go, we have to be over-sexualized, beauty queens!

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Teen shows love drama because, hello, being a teen is sort of a dramatic experience. It’s too bad most of them are guilty of glorifying emotionally abusive relationships. The story is always the same. A guy treats the girl who is in love with him like crap, he says it’s because he loves her, she tells him off, then all of a sudden they’re back together like nothing ever happened. I’m supposed to buy this?

When a guy is jealous, when he shows up uninvited (stalking!), when he yells at you because he is insecure, well that just means he cares? W-T-F! No! Wrong message. It’s abuse. What’s even worse is that most of these guys justify their actions saying, “She doesn’t know what she wants!” Right, because girls can’t make decisions for themselves? “No” doesn’t mean no, it means “try harder”.

Sorry, bro. Women can make up their own minds. They can date who ever they want. You don’t get to pressure or use violence to convince women other wise. Here are some prime examples in some of my favorite shows and movies.

Edward/Jacob and Bella Swan

Where do I begin. Even if I can get past Edward stalking Bella, trying to control her every move, and watching her in her bedroom while she sleeps I cannot get passed this. Jacob can’t seem to accept that Bella has chosen Edward so he constantly pressures her to pick him instead. He keeps telling Bella that she doesn’t know what she wants, he even forces himself on her and she has to punch him! Here Edward is pissed at Jacob about about his bad behavior. Jacob is centain he and Bella are meant to be. After all this you expect me to believe that Jacob and Bella have a loving friendship?

Eli and Imogen on Degrassi

Eli thinks his new GF Imogen might be cheating on him, when really she is just seeking space from him with her BFF because he is totally smothering her. Eli’s solution: I’ll stalk her, crawl up her BFF’s fire escape, and catch her in the “act”. Breaking and entering? Stalking? Not cool, bro!

Chuck and Blair

Look, I love me some Chuck Bass. He is my favorite character on GG. He is Chuck Bass. As much as I want Chair to happen–it really shouldn’t. (It’s hard for even me to admit in writing!) Chuck and Blair are pretty horrible to each other and their little schemes are kind of what made them awesome in the beginning, but in the episode “The Princess and the Frog” Chuck takes thing too far. He physically hurts Blair, throwing her into a glass window because he can’t handle that she is pregnant and marrying Louis. Even after, like in this scene, he still tries to get her back. He insists that he loves her, that she actually doesn’t know what she wants because she really wants him? Give me a break. This isn’t love, it’s abuse and control. No matter how much history and genuine affection they have for each other it stopped being OK a while ago.

Do you think these are abusive relationships? Let us know in the comments!