Porn for women would have this happen in a much later scene that normal hardcore porn would. | Source: Shutterstock

Porn for women has gotten a ton of attention ever since Fifty Shades of Grey became a thing, but it’s not like it’s that new.

Apparently “romance porn” is considered porn for women, and it basically consists of fewer closeups of nether regions (“money shots,” if you will), “realer” looking girls and story lines beyond being a questionably appropriate babysitter or forgetting your wallet to pay for your pizza. Porn for women has scripts beyond asking a dude to choke you or going to detention for being such a bad, bad girl, and the costumes are usually slightly better than something you’d find at Spencer’s on Halloween.

But other than that, what’s really new here? The real name for “porn for women” is just, well, “softcore porn,” and that’s been a thing pretty much forever. It’s just that hardcore porn has usually been more popular, since a lot of pornographers are appealing to the male market, which is where money shots and three-minute clips come in.

Former stripper turned porn director and smart cookie Nica Noelle explained why she’s created so much porn for women. “The only porn I had ever watched was passionless and no one could understand why these people were having sex–they looked so indifferent,” she told ABC News. “The only time they looked passionate was when women were being severely abused.”

A few explanations for that: Bad acting (for a lot of porn stars, they are indifferent–it’s a job) and the fact that, well, she a ton of other people still watched it, so it worked on some level. It’s great that people are paying more attention to porn for women–especially since women comprise about one third of porn viewers–and it’s great that people are making more porn for women. But it’s a little silly to act like it’s some newfangled revelation. Porn for women has been around forever, but it’s only now that people are comfortable enough to talk about it.

Do you think porn for women is new or that we’re just talking about it more? Do you think porn for women is less degrading and more titillating than regular old porn? Tell us in the comments!

There’s another new kind of porn for women–and men–who like reality over fantasy.

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A lack of sex education can lead people to seek out online porn … which might lead to sex addiction. Yikes! | Souce: ShutterStock

Sex addiction is still a relatively new concept, though it’s likely been going on for a while, usually under the terms “douchebaggery” or, for the more misogynist, slut-shaming types, “being loose” or any other vulgar variation of that. Now that it’s being recognized as a legitimate problem, the clinical definition of sex addiction is essentially spending so much time thinking about, having, or dealing with sex that it interferes with your everyday life. Now, a study was done to show causes of sex addiction later in life, and you may actually have experienced some of them.

About 40 percent of sex addicts in the study said they watched online porn before they were 12 years old, and 90 percent of those people think it’s to blame for their addiction.

Not into porn? Or at least you weren’t back when High School Musical was big? Doesn’t mean you’re not susceptible. The report also says that things like divorced or separated parents, same sex schooling (like if you went or go to an all-girls school), and a lack of sex education are driving factors of sex addiction.

As for the differences in sex addiction between the actual sexes? Guys are a lot more likely to seek help for it, with 53.7 percent of male sex addicts looking for professional treatment as opposed to 38.3 percent of women doing the same. (That doesn’t necessarily mean that more guys than girls are actually addicted to sex–just that more of them admit to and deal with it. Considering the slut shaming women deal with, it shouldn’t be surprising that more women don’t come out and admit to being sex addicts. Could you imagine?) Most guys said that excitement was the reward they got from acting on their sex addiction impulses, while gals said they engaged in sex addiction because sex makes them feel wanted and loved, at least temporarily.

We’re not sure what bums us out more: the lack of sex education or the lack of self-esteem contributing to sex addiction.

Here’s what we know: Sex education works in terms of preventing pregnancy and STDs in young adults a lot better than not sex education or abstinence-only sex education does. There’s a ton of documentation to back this up. So the fact that a lack of sex education is to blame for sex addiction doesn’t surprise us that much: When you’re ignorant about something going in and don’t understand all of the risks associated with having sex, it can be really easy to make poor decisions about it–and to get so used to doing so that you can’t really stop. We’re not saying that a lack of sex education is a direct cause of sex addiction, but knowing what you do, it’s not a shocker that they’re correlated, right?

Additionally, if you aren’t getting sex education in school, you might Google things about sex. And guess what you’ll find (if you’re not lucky enough to stumble upon Gurl)? Online porn. You see what’s happening here?

The self-esteem thing just makes us sad. Because if you’re reading this, chances are you’re pretty awesome, and lots of people love you. If you were having sex for the right reasons–because you really want to with a consenting partner and a high level of mutual respect–you wouldn’t feel so sad afterward, and you wouldn’t need that outside approval to feel good. And all that sex you’ll have? It’ll actually be better. And sometimes quality trumps quantity.

Do you think a lack of sex education causes sex addiction? Do you look at online porn as a substitute for sex education? Have you ever thought you were addicted to sex? Tell us in the comments!

These sex education toys are pretty nuts!

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Naked pictures were risky already, but now sending them got a whole lot scarier. | Source: Shutterstock

Professional douchebag and “revenge porn” curator Hunter Moore is back. You may have heard of his old website, IsAnyoneUp, which had people send naked pictures of their exes in, usually without the naked person’s consent. You’re probably like, “But wait! That’s illegal!”

Not necessarily. Obviously if you’re a minor, there are a lot of legal repercussions, but if you’re over 18, Hunter Moore has a whole bunch of legal loopholes to protect him from lawsuits or jail time. (We did mention he’s a douchebag, right? Because he is.) And if you’re under 18 and post the photos yourself, you can get in trouble for distributing child porn. Sounds not-so-fun, right?

Hunter Moore sets up his site so that whoever posts the naked pictures on it–usually a vindictive psycho ex–is the one who can get sued, and he generally coasts scott-free despite providing a service to make lives miserable. Here’s where it gets even scarier: In an interview about his new site (we’re not even going to give the URL for it, because the whole thing is disgusting, disturbing, and not worth your time), he actually said he’d provide a mapped photo of the addresses of whoever’s naked pictures were on the site. He later took it back and said he was “drunk and coked up,” but um, either way: Bad news bears. (And do you really want to support the work of someone who conducts professional interviews when they’re wasted and on illegal drugs?)

The fact is, even if you don’t actually send anyone naked pictures, it doesn’t mean strangers won’t see them. What happens if you lose your phone or your laptop gets stolen? And what about people who can hack into your phone? They exist, and they’re freaky. There are a lot of sick people out there, though perhaps not so sick and sociopathic as Hunter Moore–and trust us, those will be the people who snag and send your naked pictures. And what’s even worse is, if you try to penalize them for sending out naked pictures you never wanted anyone else to see, guess what happens? More people–law enforcement, your parents, lawyers–will see them.

You’re hot. You know that. You don’t need to prove it to anyone by snapping naked pictures of yourself or anyone else. If you wouldn’t want your dad or cops to see them–or a giant douche nozzle like Hunter Moore–naked pictures are really, really not worth it.

Have you ever sent or received naked pictures? Do you know anyone whose naked pictures showed up on IsAnyoneUp? Would you ever send an ex’s naked pictures out? Tell us in the comments!

No, seriously. Naked pictures are a really, really bad idea.

And don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

Talking about porn with mom and dad sounds weirder than it is! | Source

Talking about porn is a pretty awkward conversation as it is, but talking about porn with your parents is taking it to a whole other level.

Thing is, your parents may want to talk about porn with you (after all, they probably talk about sex, right?). Dude, we know–kinda gross and kinda weird, right? But they don’t want to talk about porn with you to be nosy, but because a lot of parents think that if you grow up looking at porn without too much knowledge about actual sex yet, it can really screw with your perspective on things. And they might be right.

When you talk to your parents about porn, don’t expect them to steer you towards one version or another–because, let’s face it, even if they do, you’re not going to listen, and as long as whatever turns you on is legal and safe, then, hey, that’s your business. But your folks may explain one really important thing about porn that you may not realize: As sex columnist Dan Savage put it, porn is “kabuki sex.”

Say what?! Bear with us. Just because porn doesn’t necessarily have kimonos and white face powder (unless you’re into that) doesn’t mean he’s wrong. Savage explains, “Sex isn’t porn and porn isn’t sex. Porn is an exaggerated, stylized representation. Bears no more resemblance to real life sex than action comedies resemble real life.”

It’s super important to know that while porn is, technically, footage and images of people having sex and being in sexual situations, it’s not that accurate a portrayal of actual sex. First off, most of us need an emotional connection to have sex–and most of us feel an emotional connection afterward, whether we like it or not. How often have you seen that on PornHub? Almost never.

Second, a lot of the portrayals of women in porn aren’t true to life. Most of us don’t have fake boobs, fake tans, fake eyelashes, or fake hair (though, unfortunately, a lot of us have fake orgasms). Most of us don’t have pizza deliverymen who work out that often and get naked for extra tips.

Third, a misconception about porn is that it’s only for dudes–so your folks may not even think about talking about porn with you. Girls watch porn too, and if you’re sexually inexperienced, talking about porn with someone else who has experience and who you trust–like (gulp) your parents–can help you have more realistic expectations of what sex is actually like. The most dangerous thing about porn is its potential to desensitize you to real sex and the feelings that come with it.

Porn is to sex as this is to real life. | Source

That said, talking about porn is inevitably going to be awkward–but it’ll probably be worth it to get it off your chest and your parents’. And we bet your partners will appreciate it later when you realize that in real life, not everyone is hung like the Domino’s delivery guy.

Would you ever talk with your parents about porn? Do you think talking about porn with your parents would improve your perspective on sex? What would you do if your parents talked about porn with you? Have you ever talked to folks about porn? Tell us in the comments!

Could Porn Ruin Your Guy’s Life?

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Online porn can screw up a guy's expectations about sex. | Source: Shutterstock

Maybe, says one study. But it’s not just online porn that may be the culprit, as experts are looking to video games too. Basically, the more time a guy spends in time of a screen, whether it be for Diablo III or online porn, the less social skills he may have in real life. More guys than ever are flunking in school and becoming increasingly awkward to be around and have trouble talking to girls. Yikes!

The video game-rooted problems seem to be mainly about guys trying to rule the world without talking to anyone, because apparently they don’t listen to enough Beyonce (because seriously, girls–we run this mutha). When they’re kicking ass in an RPG, there’s little risk of rejection–unlike when they try to talk to that cute girl (you!) at a party.

That problem carries over into the issues that online porn presents. The prevalence of online porn can be explained a few ways: For one, it’s a lot more easily accessible than it used to be, back when people had to actually go out and buy it (and risk embarrassment and a higher chance of their parents catching them). Another issue online porn poses is immediate gratification–that is, a guy can see a girl naked with a click of a mouse, so why should he bother getting to know a real girl and connecting with her? Because let’s be real, it takes a lot less time to click over to SteamySnatch.com than it does to woo you.

Before online porn, guys had to go to red light districts for steamy scenes. | Source: Shutterstock

The younger a guy gets into online porn, the more potential for damage to his social life becomes. If a dude with no sexual or dating experience only learns about women from online porn, he may have a tough time forming actual romantic or sexual relationships later on because he has no idea how they work.

Unfortunately, the same experts who pointed this out also pointed out that online porn is never gonna go away–and at best we can hope that producers tweak it to make it more romantic.

Here’s hoping, because most of us aren’t stripping for our pizza deliverymen. I mean, unless he’s really hot. (I kid, I kid!)

Do you think online porn addiction is a problem for guys your age? Do you think online porn gives guys false expectations of how sex actually is? Do you feel pressure to compete with online porn for a guy’s attention? Tell us in the comments!

This Girl Watched Porn For The First Time . . . And Liked It!

Like this, except WAY less clothes! | Source: Shutterstock

I’m sure you’ve heard people talk about rites of passage before, I mean, there are about a zillion of them. Your first slow dance, your first kiss, your first boyfriend, your first time “doing the dirty.” Believe me, all of them are huge monuments in your life!

But there’s one very important “rite of passage” that all girls seem a little hesitant to talk about out loud … that’s right ladies, I’m talking about watching porn. And these days, with online porn so easily accessible, it’s a much easier rite of passage to . . . pass!

I don’t know why but it seems like guys can get away with everything way easier than us girls can. Am I right? They can sleep with a bunch of different chicks and get high-fives from their friends the next day; but if we do the same thing, we’ll probably be criticized and looked down on.

At my high school people sort of had the same thought process when it came to watching online porn. Guys could watch it and it was fine, but if a girl said she watched porn, then she was totally the modern day Hester Prynne (Scarlet Letter, anyone?) and would be the subject of a week of gossip, for sure.

For me, the thought of girls and guys getting naked and down and dirty on camera and then showing up on some online porn site was insane, but for some reason, the fact that it was kind of taboo made me want to watch it even more. So I decided, I was going to do it; I was going to secretly watch porn.

Oh HELLO lover! | Source: Shutterstock

My parents had gone out for the night and I was prepping for the “big event.” I locked all of the doors so that I wouldn’t be disturbed and I practiced clearing the history on my laptop a few times so that I could make sure that no evidence of my sinfulnesswould be left behind.

Then, I typed into the Google search bar that sinister four-letter word. P-O-R-N. (It was my first time, what do you expect?) I sat there on my bed for a minute, frozen with anticipation. An Internet, full of online porn videos and pictures of people getting it on for my personal enjoyment was just a mouse-click away . . .

Click. An endless list of sites emerged on my computer screen; I chose the first. Immediately, pictures of naked, contorted bodies doing things I didn’t even know existed, filled the screen. Sex ads were popping up every second, getting progressively more disturbing. All I could think was “MAKE IT STOP!!!”

After I quit hyperventilating, I eventually cleared out all of the advertisements until I got to the original online porn site that I had wanted to look at. Yes there were naked girls, yes there were naked boys, yes they were having sex, yes they were doing just about everything in the book. And yes I kind of liked it.

You can even get nail polish ideas from porn! | Source: Shutterstock

I wasn’t freaking out anymore; my eyes were glued to the screen, dilated with interest. Some things I saw were pretty gross, but others were actually kind of enjoyable!

That was my first time watching porn, but it definitely wasn’t my last. I can honestly say, while some things porn-related things are definitely not up my alley, most sites also offer “porn for females” sections that are fun to watch, but can also teach you things about sex! (So if you’re curious, check those out first!)

So basically, I’m not saying “GO WATCH PORN, IT’S AWESOME,” but I’m not saying it’s a bad thing that all girls should avoid, either. Watching online porn isn’t for everyone, but it’s definitely one of those rite of passage milestones that I’ll always remember.

Have you ever watched online porn? What do you think about it? Do you think porn is healthy and fun or kind of a bad thing? Tell us in the comments!

This Girl LOVES Porn. I Mean . . . Loves.