Source: Shutterstock

I’ve suffered from trichotillomania for most of my life. In fact, as I’m writing this piece I’m trying–and failing–to keep it under control.

Trichotillomania is an impulse control disorder that causes people to pull their hair, leaving behind visible bald patches. Any hair is fair game: scalp, eyelashes, eyebrows, legs, pubic area…anywhere where hair grows is a potential target. Ouch, right? Well, for those of us who have trich it is usually oddly relieving. While some have enough will power to control their urges to pull, others can’t think about anything but pulling. For me, the act is often so impulsive that half the time it doesn’t fully register to me that I’m doing it at all. And then when I am aware of it, I’m too engrossed in it to stop. When I do stop, I assess the damage and feel really rotten about it: I’m left with random bald patches along my eyelashes, eyebrows, or scalp.

The causes of trich are unknown, but it can be triggered by stress and anxiety. Trich can often result in social anxiety from fear of having their disorder exposed. It can also lead to repetitive motor injuries but that often still isn’t enough to deter the urge to pull.

Treatment for trich includes cognitive behavioral therapy and/or medication. Therapy will help provide those who suffer from trich with skills and tricks to help themselves resist the urge to pull before it starts. For example, reversal training helps those who suffer from trich to acknowledge when and where they have the urge to pull, then they’re encouraged to engage in a non-harmful activity or action to replace it. On the medicinal front, antidepressants known as SSRIs have been known to help reduce the urge to pull.

My parents told me that I used to pull my hair when I was a baby, but my earliest memories of my trich started with pulling my eyelashes when I was eight years old. I’m not sure what triggered it, but when it started and it quickly became a regular activity. I’d sometimes even tug on them without even realizing it.

One day a classmate of mine noticed my lack of eyelashes and oh so matter-of-factly said, “eyelashes help keep crap and dust from getting into your eyes.” That comment made me so paranoid that I slowly started to reduce my eyelash plucking. Oddly enough the urge to pull my hair stopped for nearly a decade and light nail biting replacing it. But by the time I started college my nail biting subsided and the eyelash plucking started up again. It was a slow start but I only realized what I was doing too late; I’d rush to my dorm mirror and notice the damage: a random section of my eyelashes were no longer there. But it wasn’t anything that some eyeliner couldn’t mask.

The pulling was very on-and-off throughout most of my college career until senior year. That’s when all hell broke loose. My dormant trich was brought back to life again with the new flurry of stress and anxiety that was hurled at me from every direction. For the first time my eyelashes weren’t my only target. Nope, this time my primary target was the actual hair on my head. For a majority of my senior year I had a noticeable bald spot on the left side of my head. I had to cover it every day with colorful scarfs wrapped around my hairline. Luckily I pulled off the look, because when I finally felt comfortable enough to take it off in public, people asked if I was trying to pull a Rihanna. I awkwardly laughed, assured them that it wasn’t intentional, and quickly tried to change the subject.

March 2012

September 2012

I was determined to stop pulling the hair from my scalp a few weeks before my college graduation, because I didn’t want to worry my parents with such an embarrassing sight. With all my willpower my urges to pull from my scalp subsided, and while it was far from repaired by the time my parents came to see me graduate, it was significantly better. While I’ve relapsed a couple of times, I can safely say that I currently lack the urge to pull from my scalp. But my eyelashes, unfortunately, are another story entirely. Some days are good and some are bad in that regard, but hopefully with a little more willpower I can slowly reduce my urges.

When I told my psychiatrist about my trich earlier this year, she asked me if I wanted to go on an SSRI. I declined, not because I’m anti-medication, but because it seemed strange to seek answers in a medicine when this disorder is so ingrained in my life; literally, my entire life, since infancy. 

I’m fully aware that my trich might be a lifelong struggle that I’ll have to tackle on and off again, but I hope that when the time comes I’ll make a strong, concentrated effort to do something about it. After all, I still remember the words of my oh so wise third grade classmate: ”Eyelashes help keep crap and dust from getting into your eyes.” Hey, whatever works.

Do you suffer from trich or know somebody who does? Do you have any other impulse disorders? Any advice to share with the rest of our readers? Tell us in the comments!

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This was me, just nervous about everything. Source: Shutterstock

Of course, 9/11 was a traumatic day for all of us. I grew up in Atlanta, Georgia but my entire family is from New York. I had visited and knew exactly what the World Trade Center was while most of my classmates did not. My family was very affected by 9/11. My dad used to travel every few weeks to work there, and he easily could have been there that day. He lost countless friends and co-workers. My cousins went to school in the city at the time. My second-cousin Kevin Donnelly, a lieutenant in FDNY Ladder Company 3, was a first responder. He didn’t make it out.

Being 11 and trying to understand that event and fearing for the lives of my family members really shook me up. We flew to New York not too long after for Kevin’s memorial service, which is the first time I experienced real anxiety. I saw the National Guard at the airport with huge guns and felt panicky. I was so nervous to even get on a plane, and I was a child who absolutely loved flying. I don’t think my parents really thought anything of it. I wasn’t having a full-blown panic attack and they probably couldn’t tell what was going on. But, it was the beginning of my struggle with anxiety.

I would get overly anxious about things that other teens would just be a little nervous about, like taking tests, taking pills and storms. It was such a problem that I stopped having fun and doing what I loved. I didn’t get help my junior year of college, when a tornado hit my college town. After that, my anxiety was at an all time high and I just wasn’t able to live my life or be myself.

This was me for like four years. Source: flowintothecity

I had been to therapists before for various things, but I never went for anxiety. No one had ever talked to me about it so I didn’t know that’s what I was dealing with. I know people with anxiety, but everyone else’s is so different than mine. I never realized that what I was dealing with was classified as anxiety too.

So while I was in post-traumatic stress disorder therapy, I started to make connections back to things that happened to me. Everything made so much more sense, and I began to learn ways to handle my anxiety. Given that taking medicine is one of my triggers for anxiety, I didn’t want to take any prescriptions to help me deal with my anxiety issues. I know going on an anti-anxiety medication would help me a lot, but that in itself makes me panic. So my therapist taught me ways to work around it.

Part of dealing with anxiety is finding things that work specifically for you. It’s a lot of trial and error. I do a lot of breathing exercises and meditation. My therapist suggested brain-stimulating apps for me, so I play puzzle or word games on my phone. I also do certain ritual-type behaviors, which points to my OCD tendencies (another issue entirely), but I listen to the same music every morning when I get ready and when I go to and from work. Being on a crowded subway and stuck underground makes me super anxious, so I have to keep some sense of normalcy to calm me down.

For a long time, I let my anxiety control me. Now, I control it instead, and it’s made such a difference. I stopped allowing myself to be afraid to do things so I went out more, I did activities I wanted to do. Certainly, it takes a lot to break down that wall, but once I did I felt so much better.

Now when I say “I’m fine” I really mean it Source: lifeasaquirkygirl

I definitely still experience anxiety and panic, but I manage because I have techniques to deal with it. I watch myself carefully too because I know that with age, my anxiety will change and might get worse. I’ll likely have to medicate at some point, but for right now I’m doing just fine without it.

If you’re struggling with anxiety, or you feel nervous and you’re not sure why, I encourage you to talk to someone about it. Mental health has such a stigma, so everyone’s scared to bring it up. You’re not crazy or weird for having anxiety. It’s a lot more common than you probably think, so don’t be afraid to discuss it. The sooner you start talking about it, the sooner you can get help and be on your way to enjoying stuff!

Do you struggle with anxiety? Have you talked to anyone about it? Do you think you have anxiety but aren’t sure? Tell me in the comments!

Naps are actually really beneficial

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Lady Gaga is promoting mental health awareness with her Born Brave Bus on her Born This Way Ball tour. | Source: WENN

Lady Gaga and her Born This Way Foundation teamed up with the National Council for Behavioral Health to set up mental health awareness booths at her concerts. Gaga announced the collaboration shortly after the tragic shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut, in hopes of preventing more horrific incidents like it.

The project will let Lady Gaga’s beloved “Little Monsters” meet up with psychologists, as well as each other, to discuss any problems or issues they may have.

Gaga’s mama, Cynthia Germanotta, released a statement about the Born This Way Ball’s mental health initiative, which they dubbed the Born Brave Bus. (Cute, right?)

“Now more than ever, our kids need access to support within their communities, including mental health services,” Mama Gaga said. “By connecting youth to these local resources, we hope to plant the seeds that will help them deal with today’s challenges and inspire them to continue exercising their strength and bravery well after the Born Brave Bus leaves town.”

Lady Gaga herself explained the Born Brave Bus further via Twitter:

For those wondering about the “counseling” at the BTWBall BornBrave pre-show, it will be a fun tailgating experience for monsters to unite

— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) December 28, 2012

At the #BornBraveBus you have access to professional private or group chats about mental health, depression, bullying, school & friends.

— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) December 28, 2012

#BornBraveBus there will also be food and games, @djws and @ladystarlightny will DJ with host @breedlovenyc to keep the experience fun

— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) December 28, 2012

#BornBraveBus Is a place where mental health + depression are taken seriously w/ no judgement,FREE real help available to all #BraverWorld

— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) December 28, 2012

I feel like most kids don’t look for help because they feel embarrassed so mom + I wanted to break the stigmas around “help” and make it fun

— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) December 28, 2012

We love that Lady Gaga is drawing awareness and attention to mental health, because a lot of people are embarrassed by how they feel and are too ashamed to admit that they want or need help. There should be nothing embarrassing about taking steps to make sure you’re healthy inside and out. Talking to a psychologist doesn’t mean you’re crazy or evil or weird or bad. It means you’re actually pretty sane, self-aware, and smart. You–and Lady Gaga–should be applauded for taking measures to make sure you feel as healthy, clear, and happy as you can.

We hope more artists follow Lady Gaga’s lead, because your mental health is just as important as your physical well-being. If everyone comes together to understand and examine their own psyches, maybe the mental health, mental illness, and “head shrinking” stigmas can finally be erased–so we can all embrace, not embarrass, one another for taking care of ourselves.

Do you think Lady Gaga promoting mental health awareness on her Born This Way Ball tour will help with the stigma? Are you going to see Lady Gaga on her Born This Way Ball tour? How do you think artists can promote mental health awareness? Tell us in the comments!

Depressed? Here’s how to deal.

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Nick Toons reruns are good for you. Really! | Source

A new study revealed that watching reruns of a familiar favorite actually improved people’s self control. Volunteers took surveys for two weeks, answering various questions about stress, self-control, fictional world use (for example, a favorite book, show, or movie), and their moods. And it turns out, the volunteers who tuned into reruns of old faves like Nick Toons reported higher ratings of self-control than the rest did.

The researchers think it’s because when you’re watching reruns, you’re not so concerned with focusing on all the twists and turns in the plot, because you already know what’s going to happen–so you can sort of just sit back and enjoy it a little more without having your brain work so hard. “We have to do all this extra effort when [watching or reading] a new TV show, new movie, or new book. If we have seen it before we can just enjoy it,” researcher Jaye Derrick explained. “A positive mood is energizing.”

Another self-control booster? Hanging out and sharing some laughs with your pals. That’s another reason why zoning out to old Nick Toons episodes can help your self-control: the familiar faces we see in reruns–whether it’s SpongeBob and Patrick or Tommy Pickles–sort of feel like old, comfortable friends.

The science behind it, from what they’ve studied so far, suggests that the more you exert yourself, the less self-control you have. If you’re watching Nick Toons reruns, you’re not really doing or thinking that much, and you’re super relaxed–which can restore your self-control levels. So if you’re having a hard time resisting the urge to punt your little brother or to stop eating so much candy corn, you may want to settle in with some familiar faves. It turns out they can actually encourage you to be on your best behavior!

What Nick Toons reruns are you most likely to veg out to? What’s your favorite TV show to kick back and relax with? Tell us in the comments!

We want these vintage cartoons to make a comeback! Did your fave make the list?

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Being organized doesn't mean you have OCD. | Source: Shutterstock

Here are a few facts on what Obsessive Compulsive Disorder really is:

* OCD is an anxiety disorder in which people have unwanted and repeated thoughts, feelings, ideas, sensations (those are the obsessions), or behaviors that make them feel driven to do something (those are the compulsions). Carrying out the behaviors to get rid of the thoughts will only provide temporary relief for people with OCD. People with compulsive behaviors are often aware that their behavior is detrimental to their lives, but still can’t stop their actions.

* OCD symptoms usually appear before a person is 30 years old.

* Symptoms include: Obsessions or compulsions that are not due to medical illness or drug use, and cause major distress or interfere with everyday life.

Excessive hand washing is a common compulsion. | Source: Shutterstock

*Treatments include medications and therapy, particularly exposure therapy, where the person with OCD is repeatedly exposed to situations in which the obsessive thoughts occur, then learns to deal with the thoughts. With treatment, people with OCD can make huge improvements, which will allow them to live with a lot less stress.

If you think you may have OCD, don’t be afraid to talk to a doctor or therapist. Starting with a parent or guidance counselor at school could help if you don’t know what to do. This site also has plenty of resources.

Do you know anyone with OCD? Do you ever joke about having OCD, but know that you’re just super organized? Tell me what’s what in the comments!

Do You Know Someone Who Hurts Herself? Here’s Help

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There are so many other ways to cope. | Source: Shutterstock

Self harm is obviously destructive, but it serves many purposes for those who engage in it: it’s a way to make emotional pain physical and easier to deal with, it’s a way to force out some sort of feeling, it’s a way to calm down, it’s a way to bring themselves back to the here and now. And while harming may start as a quick way to find relief, it’s likely to become a habit: much like alcoholics and drug addicts, who find that they can evade feelings or thoughts by getting drunk or high, harmers do so because it brings temporary relief. The thing is, once someone learns it works, they may want to use it as a quick fix again and again, until they’ve managed to not deal with your feelings and problems at all, and may not even remember how.

Now that you know a little, here are a few more facts about self harm to ponder:

* Studies suggest that about 13 to 25 percent of teens and young adults surveyed in schools have some history of self-injury, even if they’ve only done it once or twice.

* The average age for people who self-harm is 14-16; but self harm habits affect people of all ages.

* Self harm frequently goes hand-in-hand with eating disorders.

Self harm is one of the most severe punishments: your mom can ground you, your coach can bench you, your teacher can fail you, your friends can be mad at you, but when we’re already our own worst critics, hating yourself goes above and beyond what’s healthy. Harmers often take events (a low grade on a test, an argument with a parent) and turn them into proof that, as a whole, they are “A Bad Person,” or a total failure.

Once someone is focused on harming herself or himself, it can be very hard to change mindsets, because the thought can be extremely consuming, and the desire for the action overwhelming. Because self harm is so addictive, it’s also really hard to stop doing. However? It’s totally possible to get help and recover from self harming habits. The key to avoiding self harm is to prepare to do anything else in its place before the thought to hurt yourself even occurs. Avoid situations that make you want to harm, if possible. Make a list of alternatives to harming yourself (call a friend, punch or yell into a pillow, listen to music that doesn’t make you feel mad or sad, write in a journal, watch a funny TV show, go for a run, throw ice cubes at the sidewalk, draw, anything that you find distracting). Keep that list handy. When you get upset with yourself, ask yourself questions about how realistic your thinking is: don’t generalize a single incident (say, forgetting to call your friend back or doing your homework incorrectly) into “I can’t do anything right.”

More than anything, when you feel like self harming, talk to someone you trust: a parent or other family member, a friend, a teacher, your school counselor. And if you’re the one a harmer is talking to, be patient. Expecting to change this person’s mind completely or stop the harming immediately isn’t going to happen. Be empathic. You can see the detriment self harm is causing, but your friend might not be able to–-yet. If you feel like you’re in over your head, it’s okay to suggest your friend may want to talk to an adult, or a therapist.

If you are harming yourself, remember that emotions are temporary – you may feel very bad right now, but it will pass – and that learning to deal with emotions is going to help you throughout your life, even though learning to look your pain in the eye is going to be a difficult process. You are worth more than you think, and you deserve help. Take a chance and reach out.

Do you know anyone who deals with self harm? What would you do if you found out a friend was hurting herself? Talk about it in the comments.

Dealing With Something Heavy? Read This. It Might Help.

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For example, someone with Body Dysmorphic Disorder may obsess about her nose and believe that it’s unbearably large, even though others may not see the problem. Sufferers can fixate on any part of the body, but the most common are nose, hair, thighs, abdomen, height and weight.

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