It’s normal to be scared. | Source: Shutterstock

I wish I could just blink my eyes and make all the terrible shootings of this year (I think there were seven mass shootings this year alone) go away. Obviously, I can’t do that, but I can share a few little things I do to calm myself down when I get scared. I’m not a therapist or anything, but these things help me and hopefully they’ll help you, too.

1. Call someone you love
I talked to my mom when I heard about the shooting, and hearing her voice was really comforting. Of course everyone is grieving for this horrible loss–but sometimes grief and fear is easier to deal with when you talk it out with someone close to you. Don’t be afraid to seem weak or vulnerable. It’s really okay. When something like this happens, it’s only normal to feel shaken.

2. Remember to breathe
If you feel kind of panicked and tense–sit down, breathe in through your nose for a count of six, then breathe out through your nose for a count of six. Breathe in again through your nose for a count of seven, breathe out through your nose again for a count of seven. Do about five of these, and you should feel a little calmer.

3. Don’t feel guilty for having fun
The school shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School is so horrible and sad, and a lot of innocent lives were lost, but it doesn’t mean that your life isn’t continuing. If someone invites you to a party this weekend, or if you see something funny on Tumblr tonight, don’t feel guilty about smiling! Life is precious and something to be enjoyed as much as possible.

4. Get help if you need to
If you’re losing sleep over today’s shooting or are scared to be at school, talk to your parents, a teacher, or a guidance counselor about it. There are counselors who can help you get through this and learn to move on in the best way you can.

How are you feeling after the Sandy Hook Shootings? Let’s get a conversation going in the comments.

This Girl Wants To Talk Gun Control

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Trust in yourself, girl! No more doubts! | Source: Shutterstock

In a recent study, women were given a whole bunch of math tests to take (sounds like everyone’s dream weekend, right?! I kid. I kid.). They were told to put their real names on half the tests they took, and to put a fake name on the other half. All the tests were just as hard, but women did surprisingly better on the tests that didn’t have their real names on them! That means that when we’re not worried about being judged, or feeling shy because people will know how we did at something, we actually kick more ass, not less.

Maybe that’s why so many super heroes wear disguises. They feel stronger and less shy when their identity isn’t on the line! I guess the lesson is to just take a deep breath, and do your absolute best at everything you do–without worrying that anybody’s going to see the results or know that it was you who did it. You’re strong and smart. Don’t undermine or underestimate yourself, girl!

What do you think? Are you shy about your abilities? Do you think you undermine yourself sometimes? Tell us in the comments!

How To Study For Finals (The Right Way!)

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If you have a fake piercing, especially a tongue ring, you may be at risk for serious health probs! | Source: ShutterStock

You probably figure a fake piercing–think a magnetic tongue ring–is safer than actually having a hole poked into your flesh, right? But that’s not always the case.

The Daily Mail reports that one guy, Michael Delaney, had a magnetic tongue ring. It was comprised of two studs with powerful magnets within ‘em that you put on each side of your tongue. Seems pretty harmless, right? And they usually are. But this particular fake piercing was darn near deadly for poor Michael, because he accidentally swallowed it.

It wasn’t like Michael just got hungry and was like, “Oh, hey, let me eat my tongue ring!” Apparently he was riding a bus, hit a bump, and voila–massive bodily damage from two tiny studs.

Michael had to go to the hospital because the studs ripped through his intestines. The magnetic parts of fake piercings are, like magnets typically are, attracted to one another, and that does a number on your internal organs. Thing is, a lot of times you don’t realize it right away. Michael felt fine, but he went to the hospital two weeks after he swallowed the fake piercing because his stomach hurt really bad. Docs had to cut him open in three different places to take the studs out–and they told him if he waited just four more hours, he would have died.

Obviously, this is a lot less likely to happen with a fake piercing on, say, your belly button, nose, or ears. But if you’re tempted to get a tongue ring of any kind, it’s important to know the risks. While a real one can cause nasty infections (your mouth is chock full of germs, and any piercing risks healing improperly), but a fake piercing can still kill you. Be careful, girls!

Have you ever had a bad experience with a fake piercing or tongue ring? Do you prefer real or fake piercings? Would you ever get a tongue ring? Tell us in the comments!

What the heck is a microdermal piercing?

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Looking awesome, Lea! | Source: WENN.com/Fayes Vision

It turns out that Lea loves showing some cleavage when she’s on the red carpet, and in my book, I think that’s fine. I mean, why shouldn’t she? Sure, she plays a teenager on TV, but in real life, she’s 26-years-old–definitely not a child! Our bodies aren’t anything to be ashamed of (they’re beautiful!) and being a little sexy can be a whole lot of fun. The crazy thing is, that a lot of parents think it’s Lea’s responsibility to be a role model for little kids and that her sexy look is way too scandalous.

“I think Lea Michele is sending the wrong message,” said New York mom Kim Trefcer, “She plays such a ‘good girl’ on Glee and a lot of kids look up to her persona. Then she poses very provocatively on two magazine covers which makes my almost-13-year-old son very confused and offended.”

Oh, honey! I hate to break it to you there, mom, but um, your teenage son is probably anything but offended by Lea Michele’s sexy cleavage (or anyone else’s!). I have a lot of guy friends, and although they don’t get too graphic with me (thank heavens), they’ve all hinted at special TV and movie crushes that they, achem, spent special time with as young adolescents and teenagers. Of course not all guys are straight, but if he’s telling his mom he finds sexy cleavage offensive, he’s probably just trying to make excuses for why he gets all fidgety whenever he sees her looking so smoking hot!

Plus, by being confident in her skin, Lea Michele is being a kick ass role model. She’s not shooting up drugs or showing up wasted to big events. She’s just wearing a low-cut dress and showing young girls and women that it’s awesome to love your body and feel gorgeous as you are.

What do you think? Is it inappropriate for Lea Michele to show so much cleavage? Do you like to rock a sexy look, or do you think it’s too scandalous? Tell us in the comments!

Are You Boobalicious?

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THIS is Zayn’s new tattoo. Really, Zayn?! REALLY?! | Source: Facebook

Case in point? Zayn Malik of One Direction just got the stupidest looking tattoo ever. I don’t know Zayn or anything, but I like 1D, and I think Zayn seems cool, but clearly he must not have had any good tattoo ideas when he got his latest ink. It’s a weird, cartoony picture of a palm tree next to the word “chillin” written in bubble letters. BUBBLE LETTERS, YOU GUYS! And it says, “chillin!” Like that’s super meaningful or deep or something. ASKDJFADSFK!!!!!!

I knew a guy in high school who was really into tattoos, but then instead of taking the time to really think through tattoo ideas, he just picked one off the wall of the tattoo parlor and got the Tazmanian Devil yelling and slobbering on his arm. We were all like, “Yeah, man. That tattoo. That’s hot,” but I don’t think a single one of us really meant it. By the time we got to college, everyone was making fun of it to his face. Ouch.

I hope Zayn doesn’t suffer the same fate as my friend. And as for you, if you’re getting a tattoo? Maybe take your time to think of something a little more meaningful than “chillin!”

What do you think of Zayn’s new tattoo? What tattoo ideas have you been thinking about? Tell me in the comments!

Check These Super Funny Misspelled Tattoos!

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Get a room, you guys! Eew! | Source: Shutterstock

So, naturally, when abovementioned boyfriend saw this freaky article about blue cheese, he had to send it to me. There’s a reason why blue cheese is so nasty . . . and that’s because the cheese is actually having sex! Like, it’s having sex while you eat it! If you’re like, “Whaaaaaat?! Cheese can’t have sex!,” you’re kind of right, and kind of wrong.

Here’s the deal: the “blue” in blue cheese is fungus, you know, like mold that grows in your shower (although I definitely wouldn’t suggest eating that!). Fungus is, to put it bluntly, alive. It eats, it breathes, it grows. No, it doesn’t have it’s own Facebook page or watch TV, but apparently–according to super smart scientists–it does have sex.

Scientists used to think that the kind of fungus in blue cheese wasn’t having sex at all, that it was reproducing asexually without coming together with another sexy fungus to make fungus babies . . . but that’s all wrong! The fungus in blue cheese is actually having sex even as it enters your mouth on a cracker!

If you love blue cheese, just think of it as the most romantic cheese out there. As for me, I’m just calling it gross.

Do you love blue cheese? What do you think about your cheese having sex? Creepy or kind of cool? Tell me in the comments!

You Won’t Believe Who Stole This Girl’s Bra!

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People assume Harry Styles isn’t manly because he might not fix his own computer–but if Chris Hemsworth doesn’t either, does that mean Thor himself isn’t masculine either? WTF? | Source: WENN

First off, the study doesn’t even go into a guy’s dress, looks, or attitudes in terms of what defines him as manly or masculine. The whole thing was based on a survey by computer upgrade specialists. No, seriously.

According to the women survey in the study, some of the qualifications of macho, masculine, manly men include being able to work on cars and computers. Um, hello? That has nothing to do with how manly a guy is. It just means, well, he’s good with cars and computers. Guess what? So are a lot of girls. Does that mean they’re masculine? No! It just means they’re mechanically and technologically savvy.

It’s sort of a bummer that nearly half of the women surveyed said it should be a guy’s job to work on cars and fix computers, because it’s an attitude that sells everyone short. By pegging those activities as masculine, it potentially shuts out a lot of women and girls who may be awesome at them from wanting to necessarily pursue it for fear of being perceived as manly. And if a guy is good at other things–like communicating and treating you well–who cares whether or not he can handle your hard drive?

Think of it this way: If a study said that if you can’t cook and hate vacuuming it made you less feminine, that would be pretty sexist on top of totally false, right? So if a guy likes to dress well and tousle his hair a little more than he likes scanning your laptop for viruses or rotating his tires, it doesn’t mean he’s not manly or masculine. It just means he has things more important to him than cars and computers. Like you!

Do you think working on cars and computers makes a guy more masculine? Do you think upgrading your hard drive is a “manly” job? What do you think constitutes a masculine, manly guy? Tell us in the comments!

Whether your boyfriend is manly and masculine or not, here are rad gift ideas for him!

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Anne, it’s like you’re inside my head. | Source: WENN.com

Right. If you’re staring at your computer screen and thinking, “Yes!,” then you and I and one of my favorite actresses, Anne Hathaway, kind of have a lot in common. Obviously Anne Hathaway is super talented, beautiful, and seemingly pretty smart–but when I read this interview with her in Glamour, I realized she’s also dealing with the same exact insecurities that we all do.

When I read that she said, “I still feel the stress over ‘Am I thin enough? Am I too thin? Is my body the right shape?,’” I was like, wait. Is that me talking or is that her? Why can’t we get a break when it comes to body image and not be fat or skinny, but just be us? You know?

And then the ultimate weird Anne-Hathaway-must-be-reading-my-mind moment came when she said, “I actually really don’t feel like getting made fun of. So I put on something boring and navy and go out and try to disappear.” If you’ve ever wanted to disappear, too, maybe we should all join a club where we can be as weird as we want to–and it wouldn’t matter, because we’d still blend in to our own club? Probably wouldn’t work, but it’s a dream anyway.

I love it when my favorite celebrities are so real and honest about their lives. Nobody’s perfect, and feeling insecure (as much as it sucks) is unfortunately pretty normal. It seems like Anne Hathaway (who I still really don’t think could blend in, even if she tries!) is working on being more confident, and so am I. Are you? I hope so.

Do you ever feel fat or weird about your body? Do you ever just want to blend in because being as crazy as you want to be would just be too much drama? Do you want to be BFF with Anne Hathaway as much as I do? Tell me about it in the comments!

But Seriously, Anne Hathaway Is Seriously A Bad Ass

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Katy Perry insists she’s not a feminist. She’s sure acting like she is. | Source: WENN

We were so excited when Katy Perry won the Billboard Woman of the Year title–considering her massive success for Teenage Dream and all of its singles, her movie, her California Dreams tour, and even her perfume and eyelash lines, she totally deserved the honor.

But we were so bummed when she said the following:

“I am not a feminist, but I do believe in the strength of women.”

Um, Katy? You clearly don’t know what the word “feminist” means. A feminist is, by definition (seriously, you can look it up), someone who thinks men and women, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, should all be treated equally. Feminists don’t want to go around castrating dudes–feminists are more like Lily Ledbetter, who’s all, “Hey, why’s this dude making more money than me for doing the same job with the same amount of experience?”

If Katy Perry really isn’t a feminist, we’re surprised she campaigned for Barack Obama so heavily, because it’d mean she didn’t believe in her own right to vote. If Katy Perry really isn’t a feminist, she wouldn’t mind if, hypothetically speaking, Justin Bieber earned about 30 percent more money than she did to perform at the same concert. If Katy Perry really isn’t a feminist, she wouldn’t mind being illiterate and staying home all day instead of working. And she certainly wouldn’t need so many sweet rides, because women totes shouldn’t be able to drive, right?

The fact that Katy Perry doesn’t think she’s a feminist doesn’t mean she’s not a feminist. It just means she’s really ignorant about what feminism stands for–and it’s a shame that she’s sending that message to girls everywhere, because it implies that they should be somewhat embarrassed for not wanting to be second class citizens. In reality, feminism shouldn’t embarrass Katy Perry. But songs about binge drinking, shooting whipped cream from her bra, and having loud sex with notorious scuzzbucket John Mayer probably should.

Do you think Katy Perry really isn’t a feminist? Do you think Katy Perry saying she’s not a feminist is detrimental to feminism? Do you consider yourself a feminist? Tell us in the comments!

Dating a douchebag who doesn’t respect women really isn’t a feminist move, Katy Perry!

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Studying his body language is a good excuse to stare, right? Right? | Source: ShutterStock

Ever been completely off base when trying to figure out how your boyfriend, girlfriend, or crush felt about something? Have a hard time telling when someone is lying to you? It may be because you’re focused on facial expressions instead of body language.

A new study says that we’re all a lot better at gauging emotions based on body language than based on what someone’s face looks like. Researchers did a whole bunch of experiments to test this out, including showing volunteers photos of tennis players during highs and lows of matches. Based on the photos of the players’ faces, a lot of the volunteers got their assessments over wins and losses wrong–but when basing their judgments on body language from the neck down, they pretty much all nailed it. (Apparently, clenched fists indicated victory while splayed fingers were popular for the losers.)

It turns out, body language trumps even the biggest smiles in terms of how people perceive feelings. The researchers even put sad faces on happy bodies and smiling faces on sad ones, and volunteers spotted the joyous and bummed body language despite the head swaps.

Sometimes the discrepancies were pretty dramatic, too. When researchers showed volunteers photos of people grieving at funerals or getting home makeovers, they still bombed when body language wasn’t at play–they got most of the shots from the neck up wrong. (To be fair, there could be a few reasons for that, though: When people are super happy, a lot of them cry, just as they would if they were sad. If you’ve ever seen an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, you’ll know!)

So what body language cues can you take to figure out what a certain someone is feeling? Experts say patting hair on the back of one’s head means they feel indecisive (remember that next time you try to make him choose the movie!). A tense jaw means he’s either pissed, hiding something, or both–yikes! If he’s tapping his foot a lot, he may not be impatient–it’s actually a sign of nervousness (probably because you’re so cute that you make him lose his cool). And if you want to know if a smile is genuine? Body language experts say to look for pouches of skin and crinkles around the eyes. A fake smile won’t have those!

One of the body language experts explained, “Western society has the idea that the most important source of information is the face. The research says maybe we should zoom out and try to take a broader look. Emotions happen to the whole person.” Still, they note that if you’re looking for more subtle cues, you should still stare at a guy’s mug. But it’s nice to have a new excuse to check out his bod!

Do you think facial expressions or body language tell more about someone’s emotions? Have you ever been way off base reading body language? What body image cues do you use yourself? Tell us in the comments!

Here’s another trick to get the truth out of a guy!

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