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I do standup comedy at night, and about a year ago, my pal Amanda and I were at one of my shows where a guy named Matt also performed. Long story short, I started talking to Matt. He seemed cool enough, so we wound up exchanging numbers.

Big mistake.

I wound up going out with Matt one time, and one time only. Because it was all I could take.

He spent literally the entire night giving me unsolicited advice on comedy and my career . . . which is really weird, because not only did I never ask him for any of it, but I also get a lot more work than he does. He was super condescending and only wanted to talk about “the business” and how I need to be less dry with my jokes. At first I thought maybe he was just nervous, so I cut him some slack and just tried to change the subject to something more neutral a few times (movies, favorite bands, etc.), but he kept bringing it back to how I need to do my job.

The kicker? “You need to learn how to host, otherwise you’re never going to get work.”

Really, sir? Take a seat.

Fast forward to a month later, when I got booked at the biggest comedy club in New York City and Matt was still busy telling everyone at open mic nights how much funnier he is than they are. He kept texting me asking why I wouldn’t hang out with him anymore.

Eventually I got annoyed, and I told him: “Because for as much advice as you dish out on comedy, you need twice  as much on dating.”

Has a guy ever been super condescending to you? Has a guy ever criticized you on something you know that you do better than he does? What’s the jerkiest thing a dude’s ever told you on a date?  Tell us in the comments!

You think this guy was bad? Check out what this idiot said about my boobs.

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Sometimes it can be sort of flattering to notice to a dude obviously checking you out. As superficial as it may sound, realizing that someone else thinks you look super hot can give you a little bit of a self-esteem boost. But then sometimes that whole situation just gets creepy and weird and actually makes you wish that person never looked at you to begin with. Guess what? This was one of those times.

Last week, I went out to a restaurant with my boyfriend and his friends. We were standing around waiting for our table to be ready when a guy walked past us. As he passed me (really, really close to me, by the way), he looked me up and down in a way that made me feel a little uncomfortable. When he looked up and saw my boyfriend standing next to me staring him down, he did something that didn’t even make me uncomfortable – it just annoyed the hell out of me.

As my boyfriend was glaring at him, the guy pointed at me and said, “Is this yours?” My boyfriend, totally confused, said, “Um… yeah?” And then the dude, super seriously, said, “Shake my hand, man.” 

UM. Was I supposed to be complimented by this or something? I mean, “Is this yours?” Am I wrong in thinking that that’s a pretty offensive thing to say about someone? The last time I checked, I wasn’t a jacket or a piece of furniture that could be claimed. I also wasn’t aware that my boyfriend owns me. I guess I kind of understand what this dude was trying to say, but he basically said it in the worst way possible. Sorry, dude, I’m not anyone’s… I’m my own person.

Do you think this was an offensive thing to say or am I overreacting? Would you have taken that as a compliment? Tell me in the comments.

Check out these supposedly nice but actually horrible guys

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From Queefing 101: Did Air Just Come Out Of my Vag?!

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From I Can’t Believe He Said That

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From I Heard My Parents Doing It And Can’t Get It Out Of My Mind

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From Queefing 101: Did Air Just Come Out Of my Vag?!

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From My Crush Doesn’t Like Me, How Can I Change His Mind?

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From I Can’t Believe He Said That

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From What Is PMS? Do You Have It?

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From I Can’t Believe He Said That

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What were your favorite comments this week? Want to share your most embarrassing moment? What was your favorite out of these 8? Tell me in the comments!

Guess where this girl’s bra snapped open?!

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I’d just started seeing this guy and I thought things were on their way to getting serious, until he said this really bad line…

I kind of forget what we were talking about, but it was about some celeb’s looks. I asked if he thought she was pretty. And he responds with:

“Well, you obviously know I’m not that into appearances.”

Obviously? Me? What? I guess not being superficial is a good thing, but did that mean that he didn’t think I was attractive?

I tried to talk to him about it, but he kept saying, “You know what I mean.” I didn’t at all. Eventually, we broke up. It wasn’t because of this conversation, really. But, I never really got over it.

Ever had one little bad line kind of ruin your relationship? Are you always attracted to the person you’re dating? Tell me in the comments!

How To Deal With Getting Dumped

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I recently went through a break up with a guy I was casually seeing. It was one of those weird things where we weren’t officially boyfriend and girlfriend and had only been together a few weeks. I wasn’t even sure that we needed a break up convo, but I decided that it was the right thing to do.

So, I met up with him and told him that I didn’t think we were great as a couple, even though I thought the world of him. He responded by saying:

“Look, you’re not going to be young for a lot longer.”

What? Um, WHAT? First of all, I’m not THAT old. He was talking like I was pushing 60. And guess what? He was older than I am! Yeesh! And what did that even mean? Just because I wasn’t 12 years old I should settle?

Anyway, things got heated in the conversation and I wound up deciding to walk away. He yelled after me:

“Let me know if you have anyone to set me up with. I guess I’m looking now!”

This guy had just insulted my age (which was more weird than hurtful) and then expected me to set him up with a friend. What was going on in his head?

Have you ever had a break up conversation go totally awry? Would you EVER set up an ex with one of your friends? Tell me in the comments!

Should You Worry About Your BF’s girl friends?

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A few months ago, I started dating a new guy. He was sweet, but also very, very honest – sometimes a little too honest. I quickly learned that if I didn’t want to hear the truth about some stuff, there were certain things I just couldn’t talk to him about. In fact, I got my first taste of what a backhanded compliment feels like from him, and I really didn’t enjoy it.

I had just planned a vacation to the beach with some of my friends and I was talking to him about it. Half joking around, I said, “I really need to get to the gym and start working out before I lay on the beach in my bikini all day.”

My guy shrugged and gave him an uncomfortable look. “Oh, come on,” he said. “You don’t need to lose that much weight.” 

I was literally speechless. I don’t need to lose THAT much weight?! Oh, thanks, dude. I didn’t realize you wanted me to lose any weight at all!

I was pretty hurt by the remark, and even more hurt when he quickly suggested we go to the gym later that afternoon. We didn’t last much longer.

What do you think – did I overreact to being hurt by that comment? Would you have been upset if a boyfriend said that to you? What’s the meanest thing a guy has ever said to you? Tell me in the comments!

Whoa! Check out the totally rude thing this guy said

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It stinks when guys say something mean or rude or just totally insensitive – and it stinks even more when that guy is your boyfriend, not just a crush, a friend or a random stranger. My ex said some pretty crappy things to me during our relationship, but there was one comment that really stood out.

We had been dating on and off for about four years when we finally had one of our many conservations about what we were doing together. We had obviously been together for a while, but he still wasn’t calling me his girlfriend and I was totally confused. One night I asked him if we could be exclusive and if I could start introducing him as my boyfriend.

He sighed. “You know, I don’t know if I can do that right now. I think I want to be with you, but before we get serious, I want to make sure I don’t meet anyone better than you. I need to keep my options open.”

My jaw literally dropped. His comment was wrong on SO many levels – not to mention that it was one of the meanest things anyone has ever said to me. We broke up a little while after that.

What’s the worst thing a guy has ever said to you? Have you ever dated a guy who said something similar? What’s the meanest thing a boyfriend has ever done to you? Tell us in the comments.

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I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for four years. We have a great relationship, which I think is pretty obvious to anyone who’s ever met either of us or seen us as a couple. Everyone knows I’ve been dating this guy for forever – but I guess that doesn’t stop some people from thinking they can worm their way in.

For the last few months, the same dude has been hitting on me constantly. He’s always flirting with me and sending me major hints that he wants to be more than just friends. I try to ignore him, but he’s so persistent! But the other day, I finally had to say something.

He asked me to go out on a date, and I replied, “Sorry, but I have a boyfriend, and you know that. So you know I can’t go out with you.”

His answer? “Hmm, okay. But let me ask you another question: are you faithful to him?”

It was so creepy and I was totally offended! Um, doesn’t the fact that I’ve been with him for four years kind of imply that I’m faithful to him? For a guy who supposedly knows me pretty well, it hurt my feelings that he thought I would cheat on my awesome boyfriend. And forget about that – I just rejected you! Take the majorly obvious hint and move on.

What’s the most rude thing a guy has ever said to you? Do you think I overreacted about feeling hurt over this? Tell us in the comments!

 Check out the crazy way this guy tried to win his ex back

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Ok, I’ll shoot straight with you guys. I don’t like showering. I do it daily because, well, I have to to keep my job and my friends. But, honestly, I don’t like it. I don’t care about being clean or dirty. It’s like my hygiene switch was just never flipped.

Most people don’t know this about me because, I do shower regularly, even if I don’t like it. It’s just close friends and family who know that even though I look clean doesn’t mean that I like to be clean.

My dad’s birthday was yesterday and, as he does, he sent out a huge mass e-mail to everyone he knew describing all of the exciting events of the day including the party at work, the dinner my mom made him and the baseball game he went to. He also ended it with this little gem:

And I had a day my daughter would have loved because I didn’t take a shower.

My dad electronically outted me in front of a ton of people I barely knew. Now they all think I’m a gross shower skipper…which is kind of true. But, they didn’t have to know!

How has your dad embarrassed you? Am I alone in the no likey shower department? Tell me in the comments!

Find Out Why This Girl HATES Hugs

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I have an ex who is very in touch with me. I don’t respond much, but I do sometimes. I don’t want to be rude. Recently though, he’s be pretty obviously trying to make me jealous and get me back. It’s not working at all, mostly because I’m not a jealous person, but also because he’s doing it in a really weird way.

First, he sent me a text with details on meeting up for a first date and then quickly wrote “Whoops! Wrong person. Sorry!” He has an iPhone. So, it’s almost impossible to misfire a text. And I wasn’t jealous at all. Going out on an awkward first date with a stranger is nothing I’d EVER be jealous about. I think first dates are the worst.

Then, he sent something really weird. He wrote me yesterday saying:

I lost a bet and had to ask a girl at the beach to cover my back with ranch dressing instead of sunscreen. She totally did it. What do you think?

Um, WTF? A stranger covering you in ranch dressing on a hot, sandy beach? Literally, I can think of nothing grosser. Not only did that not make me jealous, it made me wonder why I ever dated him in the first place. Gross. Gross. Gross.

Ever tried to get an ex back? Or had one try to make you jealous? Did the jealousy attempts ever completely backfire? Tell us in the comments!

5 Reasons Taking A Relationship Break Never Works…none of the reasons involve ranch dressing though!

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