Wondering how to date a man you like? According to “The Rules,” you have to leave him hanging. Lame! | Source: ShutterStock

A while ago, a book called The Rules came out, and it was basically a guide on how to date a man. A completely stupid, pointless guide that set women back about 40 years. Now, in the world of Facebook, match.com, and the like, an updated guide is available to set us back 20 more years, making that a total of 60.

The gist of it all? “If you want a guy to like you, don’t do anything. Just exist.” And I mean, fine–you’re wonderful, and that should be enough. But “The Rules” explain that how to date a man is actually to appear almost totally uninterested. You can’t approach him first, you can’t IM him first, nothing.

This is problematic for a few reasons. One, it’s pretty pointless to not go after what you want and just expect things to come to you. Two, if you act like you’re not interested, guess what? Guys may well assume you’re not interested, and they’ll move on to someone who makes no mistake that they like him back. And three? Well, it’s boring.

To be fair, some of their rules on how to date a man are fair enough: We like their “No contact after midnight” rule, because, well, those are booty call hours. If you’re looking for a hookup, by all means–but if you want him to date you, it’s probably a good idea to wait til the AM to respond.

Thankfully, a lot of us are smart enough to not buy into this nonsense. A new survey says 79 percent of us take the “why wait?” philosophy and initiate contact with dudes we dig online, whether it’s through a friend request, a tweet, or whatever. However, 71 percent of ladies agree with the book, which says to wait half an hour before texting a guy back–and 10 percent leave a dude hanging for four hours. Seems sort of hypocritical considering it drives you nuts when guys do that to you, doesn’t it?

Basically, The Rules wants you to start a relationship–or rather, wants the guy to start a relationship–based on game playing. It doesn’t sound like a really solid foundation, does it?

Our advice? Ignore all the rules on how to date a man. The real guide to how to date a man who deserves you–and the least stressful method–is to just be yourself and treat a guy the way you’d want him to treat you!

Do you think The Rules is a good guide on how to date a man? Do you think a  guy should always make the first move?  Tell us in the comments!

Hopefully your guy is a legit nice one–not one of these “nice guys!”

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How to get a boy to like you? By not being able to walk away, apparently! | Source: ShutterStock

Here’s how it happened: I was home alone, and I have a habit of sitting with one leg curled under me. As a result, that foot falls asleep a lot. My doorbell rang, I ran downstairs to answer, and wound up twisting the heck out of my foot. Because it was asleep, I didn’t feel it right away–but when I got to my front door, I thought I was going to die. (For the record: It was a stranger asking me if I needed Jesus. After yelping in agony, I informed him that he would meet Jesus if they didn’t get off of my porch.)

I wound up breaking a bone in that foot (my metatarsus, which sounds like a dinosaur, doesn’t it?), so I couldn’t work out much . . . so I taught myself how to bake to pass the time. I’m not sure why I didn’t expect the end result to be none of my pants fitting, but whatever.

In any case, during that year, I got hit on more than I ever have in my entire life. I figured, “Okay, Jess. You look better with some more meat on your bones. Maybe that’s how to get a boy to like you.” Everywhere I went–the mall, the movies, parties–dudes wouldn’t leave me alone. I went to one concert and left with three different guys’ numbers. It was insane.

Thing is, the guys were all sort of creepy. The ones I bothered calling or answering were all very forward and clearly only after one thing. And it was sex. Apparently eating cake isn’t how to get boys to like you anywhere other than bed. (And none of them got me there.)

I had an epiphany this afternoon about that whole time, though. Once my foot healed, I didn’t get hit on as much–even though I didn’t shed all that weight right away. I realized: Maybe it wasn’t my change in weight. Maybe it was my limp.

My theory? If you’re desperate to know how to get a boy to like you and you don’t really care if he has creepy vibes, injure a lower limb, or maybe just stub your toe really hard. If you have a limp, guys will approach you. Not necessarily because they think you’re super cute (even though you are), but probably because they don’t think you’ll be able to run away fast enough to reject them. You’ll be beating them off with a stick. Or, you know, crutches.

(If you’re wondering how to get a boy to like you who isn’t a creep? Keep being you. You’re awesome.)

Have you ever had a guy approach you for a weird or unexpected reason? Have you ever resorted to crazy measures trying to figure out how to get boys to like you? Tell us in the comments!

We know what you’re really thinking when your crush rejects you!

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It’s a given that guys think about sex… a lot. But have you ever wondered if he’s thinking about doing the deed while he’s having a conversation with you? If you want to know, your best bet is to look at his eyes, because apparently a dude’s gaze can reveal how much he’s thinking about sex.

Yup, it’s true: new findings reveal that you can see how into sex a guy is by looking into his eyes. This probably won’t surprise you, but research shows that when guys look at women, their eyes are drawn immediately to her chest and hip/waist area. Not so shocking. I think we’ve all been a victim of that at some point in our lives. More not so shocking news: guys only look at those areas of women who they’re attracted to.

But here’s where it gets a little more interesting: researchers tested a group of guys aged 18-25 and found that the guys who have reported more sexual compulsivity (in other words, guys who are really, really into sex… like more than the average dude is) looked at the breasts and hip/waists of women in their 20′s longer than the other guys. Why is this interesting? Because their gaze is giving away their higher-than-average love of sex, and researchers think that this pattern could help them pick out sex offenders.

Basically, we might now be able to tell who is a sex offender and who isn’t by studying the way guys look at women. Does this sound a little crazy to you? It sounds a little crazy to me. But this new research doesn’t mean you should walk into a room and stare at every dude to try and figure out how long they’re staring at a pair of boobs. Researchers are most likely going to use these findings to get a better idea of how well treatment is working on sex offenders – which is cool, because that means it’s going to be harder for them to lie. Their eyes are literally going to give them away!

What else is kind of crazy about this research? Apparently women don’t have these same patterns. Researchers found that while dudes stare longer at people they’re attracted to than people they’re not attracted to, women don’t. I guess we look at everyone for the same amount of time, and so it’s almost impossible to tell how much we’re thinking about sex.

So is this going to help us find sex offenders before they do something horrible? Probably not. I doubt law enforcers or researchers are going to be prowling the street checking out the gaze patterns of random guys… although that would definitely be an interesting thing to see. But can it help us figure out if a dude is attracted to us? Maybe. The next time you spot your crush, pay attention to how long he looks at you – just don’t get weird with it. That might freak him out.

What do you think about this research? Are you going to start paying attention to how long guys stare at girls? Do you think this is totally obvious? Tell us in the comments.

 Are guys really as shallow as we think they are?

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Average girls are more appealing than hot girls–but what makes an average girl average anyway? And who cares?! | Source: ShutterStock

Apparently, average girls make guys less nervous–and the old adage, “it’s what inside that counts?” That holds true too. Speed dating research says that a “spark” was rated as more important than looks in terms of attractiveness, and that personality pretty much trumped everything. Basically, guys don’t necessarily prefer “average girls” to “hot girls.” They just, deep down, like nice girls.

One guy explained it like this when a researcher told him his girlfriend was hot: “I wish everyone would stop telling me how hot she is. I don’t want to be with the hottest girl in the room. It’s not me. I just wanted the nice girl.” Fair enough, but keep in mind–he probably wouldn’t have known she was “the nice girl” if he didn’t think she was cute enough to approach in the first place, right?

In any case, here’s what guys want: Being comfortable with your figure (they dig curvy chicks, too), being well-groomed (just shower, please), good listeners, and girls who are trustworthy, laugh at their jokes, and let them take care of you.

So what should you do to win over the guy you like? For the love of Zayn Malik, just be you and don’t be a jerk. That’s it. Seriously. “Hot girls” and “average girls” are subjective and everyone’s taste in physical attributes is different, and that’s not what matters. Just be yourself, be good to yourself and others, and do what makes you happy. Any guy worth is salt will know there’s no such thing as “average girls” or “hot girls.” There are only amazing girls, like you, and he’d be lucky to have you–not the other way around.

Do you think guys really prefer average girls to hot girls? What do you think constitutes the “average girl?” Do you prefer average guys to hot guys? Tell us in the comments!

What kind of makeup do guys like? Turns out THEY don’t even know!

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I’d just started seeing this guy and I thought things were on their way to getting serious, until he said this really bad line…

I kind of forget what we were talking about, but it was about some celeb’s looks. I asked if he thought she was pretty. And he responds with:

“Well, you obviously know I’m not that into appearances.”

Obviously? Me? What? I guess not being superficial is a good thing, but did that mean that he didn’t think I was attractive?

I tried to talk to him about it, but he kept saying, “You know what I mean.” I didn’t at all. Eventually, we broke up. It wasn’t because of this conversation, really. But, I never really got over it.

Ever had one little bad line kind of ruin your relationship? Are you always attracted to the person you’re dating? Tell me in the comments!

How To Deal With Getting Dumped

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Is YOUR guy a Tupperware? | Source: Shutterstock

Before I can tell you the true meaning of this word, ladies, I have to take you on a little walk down my own personal romantic history lane. Several years ago, I dated this guy who was really attractive. Thing is, he had very little else going for him, and he was super high maintenance in an insane way. Like, way more than I could ever be. Here’s an example: We were invited over to a friend’s house for dinner, which was really exciting, because um, HELLO friends and free delicious food cooked just for us? Yes and yes! My boyfriend and I were both vegetarian, but our friend who was cooking knew this and said he’d make a vegetarian dinner. Super.

Except NOT so super, because my boyfriend insisted on bringing his own food. Seriously. He brought his own dinner in a Tupperware to someone else’s house when they were cooking us a special meal. When I asked about the Tupperware, he insisted that we “couldn’t trust” that the food would really be vegetarian (WTF?!) and that he just liked to be self-sufficient. More like self-stupid!

He and I broke up shortly after, but my friends and I still refer to him and any other super high-maintenance weirdos as “Tupperware.” So like, if my friends and I are planning a big group trip to the movies, and one of my girls’ boyfriends is like, “Oh, I don’t want to go to that theater because blahblahblah, let’s go to this one because blahblahblah,” and it’s obviously for no reason other than he’s cray? He’s a Tupperware. And you know what’s in a Tupperware, ladies? That’s right. Usually old food that you don’t want anymore.

If you ever realize that you’re dating a Tupperware, run away. Fast.

What do you call high-maintenance dudes who drive everybody crazy? Have you ever dated a Tupperware? Tell me in the comments!

Are You A Clingy Girlfriend?

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I recently went through a break up with a guy I was casually seeing. It was one of those weird things where we weren’t officially boyfriend and girlfriend and had only been together a few weeks. I wasn’t even sure that we needed a break up convo, but I decided that it was the right thing to do.

So, I met up with him and told him that I didn’t think we were great as a couple, even though I thought the world of him. He responded by saying:

“Look, you’re not going to be young for a lot longer.”

What? Um, WHAT? First of all, I’m not THAT old. He was talking like I was pushing 60. And guess what? He was older than I am! Yeesh! And what did that even mean? Just because I wasn’t 12 years old I should settle?

Anyway, things got heated in the conversation and I wound up deciding to walk away. He yelled after me:

“Let me know if you have anyone to set me up with. I guess I’m looking now!”

This guy had just insulted my age (which was more weird than hurtful) and then expected me to set him up with a friend. What was going on in his head?

Have you ever had a break up conversation go totally awry? Would you EVER set up an ex with one of your friends? Tell me in the comments!

Should You Worry About Your BF’s girl friends?

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Boys ain’t afraid of no ghosts. But, they are afraid of a lot of other stuff. So, Mari and Kate set off to interview the fabulous (and of course naked) Rob Michael Hugel of I Hate Being Single to find out what really intimidates a dude when it comes to dating. His answers might surprise you!
 

What would you ask a naked guy if you had the chance? Tell us in the comments!

We Asked This Naked Guy All About Blue Balls–EEP!

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How can you tell if a guy really likes you? Like, really like likes you? Are there any secret clues? Well, actually, there are. Sara has a few sneaky ways you can tell if a dudes into you. Super helpful and super stealth!

Do your friends constantly ask, “Is he into me?” Do you ever wonder if your own crushes like you? Tell us in the comments!

Can Long Distance Relationships Ever Work?

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