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Ugh, I know the feeling and I know how much it stinks. Getting over someone is hard enough as it is – but getting over someone you have to see and interact with all the time is even more difficult. It’s also a confusing feeling because you never really had a relationship with this person, so you don’t really know how you’re supposed to feel.

The best way to get over a crush, or anyone really, is to stop thinking about the person. This is way, wayyyy easier said than done. To do this, cut off contact as much as possible. This doesn’t mean you need to completely ignore him if he tries to talk to you (although you can do that if you want), but don’t go out of your way to talk to him. In fact, go out of your way not to talk to him. Do you sit near him in class? Try to move your seat, if possible. Are you friends with him on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram? I strongly suggest deleting him or, at the very least, blocking him. You’re never going to get over someone if you continue to see their regular updates via social media.

Using the buddy system to get over someone can help as well. Let your best friend know that you’re ready to get over this dude and she shouldn’t let you talk about him or try to talk to him. She can stop you whenever you bring up his name, she can say encouraging things to make you feel better and she can convince you not to approach him if you want to. Plus, you can lean on her when you’re feeling sad.

Another way to get over a crush? Start crushing on someone else! Be open to meeting new people and getting to know other guys – you probably didn’t notice them when you were busy crushing on this person, but their out there, I promise. Or, on the flip side, just focus on yourself for a while. Put all of your energy and time into doing something that will make you happy, like a hobby or a sport. Focusing on yourself not only makes you better, but it also makes you happier and before you know it, you’ll forget about that loser who doesn’t like you back.

I’ll be honest with you, though: it’s probably not going to take just a week or two to get over this crush. It can take a long time to stop liking someone and that’s okay. You shouldn’t feel pathetic about that! As corny as this phrase sounds, time really does heal all wounds. If you stick with these tips and avoid your crush as much as possible, you’ll go to bed one day realizing you didn’t even think about him once during the day – and it will feel great.

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

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So how do you make yourself stop liking someone? It’s not always easy to fight against your own brain and force yourself to think differently than you have been for a while. But the good news is that it’s totally possible. Tired of crushing on someone you know you’re never going to be with? We’re here to help you. The first step, obviously, is to decide without any doubt that you’re ready to move on. Then you can read these 10 steps on how to get over a crush: 

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Let Yourself Be Sad

Deciding to stop liking someone is tough. Even though you may feel lame for being so bummed out, you shouldn't. An important step to getting over anything is to let yourself be sad for a little bit rather than pushing those emotions away. Take a day or night to cry it out, eat some ice cream and watch some sad movies. Let it all out and you'll feel refreshed later on.

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Distance Yourself

Once you decide you're ready to move on, the most important thing to do is to distance yourself from this dude. You can't forget about someone if they're constantly in your face. If you sit next to him in class, see if you can change your seat. For the first few weeks, you may need to avoid areas you know he's going to be. Consider deleting him off of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. If you're not ready to take that step, just block him for a while. It's hard to do at first, but I promise it will make the process easier and faster.

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Don't Get Angry Instead

Replacing your feelings of lust with feelings of anger and bitterness is not the answer. Don't turn your crush into anger - you'll still be thinking about him and obsessing about him, just in a different way. It may feel good to bash him to your friends and to tear him apart for everything he's ever done wrong, but in the end it's not a great solution. Some people just aren't meant to be together and getting angry about it isn't going to change anything.

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Stop Talking About Him

Talk about him as little as possible. Let your friends know you're trying to move on and you'd appreciate if they didn't bring his name up. Talk to your bestie about your feelings if you really need to let it all out, but don't make it a regular habit. And don't let your friends update you about what he's been up to. The trick is to forget about him as much as you can.

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Realize That It May Take Time

It's important to keep in mind that the process of getting over someone usually isn't super quick. Thinking that you'll be fine in a few days is only going to lead to some pretty frustrating results that may end up making you reconsider the whole thing. Instead of telling yourself this will be quick and easy, remind yourself that it's a slow process sometimes and that's fine. Take things one step at a time.

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Meet New People

Meeting new people and having new experiences is a great way to forget about someone - plus, it's fun, obviously! I'm not saying you have to go out there and meet a bunch of new guys... new friends work also. These new pals will probably know nothing about your former crush, which is also an advantage. Having a good time with new people will definitely keep you distracted and happy.

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Be Realistic

Yes, crushes hurt and getting over them is difficult. But it can be really easy to get super dramatic about these sort of things nad sometimes we need a reality check. You may need to remind yourself that you're not getting over the biggest love of your life here - it's just a crush. I'm not trying to downplay your pain, I'm just saying: be realistic. This wasn't the last guy in the world. You will find someone else.

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Think About Something Else

There will probably be a few times where you start daydreaming about your crush out of habit. Don't let yourself do that! If you find your thoughts straying back to your crush, you should actively convince yourself to think about other things. Daydream about Ryan Gosling and Zayn Malik instead. Fantasize about your perfect vacation. Hey, even think about school. Anything but your crush!

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Flirt With Someone

In order to get over someone, you don't need to go out there and find someone else to start obsessing over right away. In fact, don't do that. But a little harmless flirting might be just the thing you need. Casually flirt with a guy you feel comfortable with or the cute new kid in class. Don't go into it thinking he's going to be your next BF, just think you're having fun. Sometimes we just need that kind of confidence boost.

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Focus On Yourself

Like I said a million times throughout this post, you need to distract yourself from your crush. A perfect way to do that is by focusing on you, not anyone else. Keep yourself busy by getting into a hobby you love that you've been neglecting. Hit up the gym to relieve some stress, have a favorite TV show marathon, read a good book, change up your beauty routine, dye your hair. Do something exciting just for you.

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Are you trying to get over a crush? How do you get over someone? Does your crush like you back? Tell me in the comments.

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