Just friends? I don’t buy it. | Source: ShutterStock

This is a proud day because science has finally proven me right. Finally! Finally. I have always said that men and women can’t be just friends without at least one person crushing on the other person, and now new research has backed me up. It’s pretty much official, girls: researchers have stated that guys and gals can’t be simply friends without the opportunity for “romance” hanging out and waiting in the corner.

I know plenty of people are going to disagree with both me and these researchers on this. I’m sure there are tons of you who have guy friends who you would never dream of hooking up with or dating officially. But let’s face it, do you really know how they honestly feel about you? Because here’s the thing: as I’ve always suspected, men think about opposite-sex friendships much differently than women do.

This study looked at 88 pairs of opposite-sex friends and discovered that the majority of men were attracted to their female friends. The majority of men believed that their female friends were attracted to them also – but those guys were wrong. It turns out that majority of women were not attracted to their male friends and also had no idea that their male friends were attracted to them.

I’m not saying that I don’t think men and women can be friends at all. I do! I just think that in these friendships, one person is always going to have more than platonic feelings for the other person. Maybe your guy friend secretly thinks you’re hot and sort of wants to get in your pants. Maybe if the opportunity presented itself, he would take the chance of full on dating you.

Why do I feel this way? I’ve seen the evidence way too many times, and I’ve also discussed this with plenty of dudes who have agreed with me. Most guys I talk to about it say basically the same thing: they would date and/or hook up with any of their female friends if given the chance. Even our resident guy expert Ethan pretty much agrees! Do you know how many times I’ve heard dudes say that it’s not possible for girls to be friend-zoned because their friend would always be willing to try to take things to another level?

It’s also happened to me on numerous occasions. When I used to waitress, I was friends with most of the guys that I worked with. At work, we joked around and also talked about more serious stuff; after work, we hung out together with everyone else and had a good time. I had zero romantic interest in most of these guys. Almost all of them ended up hitting on me at one point or another. It was super disappointing, because I really wanted to believe that we could be just friends without having any awkward romantic situations going on. And I’m not trying to sound cocky, like it only happens to me – no, I’ve watched it happen to all of my girl friends at one point or another.

So what’s the definitive answer on this? Based on this research, it seems like guys are more likely than women to have romantic feelings for their opposite-sex friend. And while they might not come right out and say that they have a crush or that they would be willing to hook up, they would take things to that level if they had the chance.

But keep in mind that this research was only done on a small group of people. This doesn’t mean that every single guy out there thinks his female friend is hot. It doesn’t mean that there is no girl ever who feels friend-zoned by a guy. Still, I find myself pretty convinced: unless someone can prove otherwise, I truly don’t think guys and girls can be just friends without one of them sort of crushing on the other person.

What do you think – can guys and girls be just friends? Have you ever been in a totally platonic friendship with a guy? Do you agree or disagree with this study? Have you ever been friend-zoned? Tell me in the comments.

Is there a link between food and love?

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Studying his body language is a good excuse to stare, right? Right? | Source: ShutterStock

Ever been completely off base when trying to figure out how your boyfriend, girlfriend, or crush felt about something? Have a hard time telling when someone is lying to you? It may be because you’re focused on facial expressions instead of body language.

A new study says that we’re all a lot better at gauging emotions based on body language than based on what someone’s face looks like. Researchers did a whole bunch of experiments to test this out, including showing volunteers photos of tennis players during highs and lows of matches. Based on the photos of the players’ faces, a lot of the volunteers got their assessments over wins and losses wrong–but when basing their judgments on body language from the neck down, they pretty much all nailed it. (Apparently, clenched fists indicated victory while splayed fingers were popular for the losers.)

It turns out, body language trumps even the biggest smiles in terms of how people perceive feelings. The researchers even put sad faces on happy bodies and smiling faces on sad ones, and volunteers spotted the joyous and bummed body language despite the head swaps.

Sometimes the discrepancies were pretty dramatic, too. When researchers showed volunteers photos of people grieving at funerals or getting home makeovers, they still bombed when body language wasn’t at play–they got most of the shots from the neck up wrong. (To be fair, there could be a few reasons for that, though: When people are super happy, a lot of them cry, just as they would if they were sad. If you’ve ever seen an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, you’ll know!)

So what body language cues can you take to figure out what a certain someone is feeling? Experts say patting hair on the back of one’s head means they feel indecisive (remember that next time you try to make him choose the movie!). A tense jaw means he’s either pissed, hiding something, or both–yikes! If he’s tapping his foot a lot, he may not be impatient–it’s actually a sign of nervousness (probably because you’re so cute that you make him lose his cool). And if you want to know if a smile is genuine? Body language experts say to look for pouches of skin and crinkles around the eyes. A fake smile won’t have those!

One of the body language experts explained, “Western society has the idea that the most important source of information is the face. The research says maybe we should zoom out and try to take a broader look. Emotions happen to the whole person.” Still, they note that if you’re looking for more subtle cues, you should still stare at a guy’s mug. But it’s nice to have a new excuse to check out his bod!

Do you think facial expressions or body language tell more about someone’s emotions? Have you ever been way off base reading body language? What body image cues do you use yourself? Tell us in the comments!

Here’s another trick to get the truth out of a guy!

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These ladies would be smiling even more if they’d put their cell phones away. | Source: Shutterstock

Well, maybe not. A new study says that just being in the presence of a cell phone can actually hinder your interactions with people around you–whether you’re even using the phone or not. No, seriously. It turns out that being too connected to everyone makes us, well, less connected to people closest to us.

Research was done to prove this theory: Scientists got a bunch of volunteers and put two strangers at a time in a room together. The volunteers left their stuff (including their phones) in a waiting area, then sat together in a booth. Not far from the booth–but slightly out of their direct vision–was a desk. For some of the strangers, the desk had a notebook on it, for others, the desk had a cell phone on it. The pairs were asked to chat about an incident in their own lives that had happened recently, then were asked to report how the chat went: They had to rate it in terms of relationship quality and closeness that they’d felt.

Guess what went down? The pairs in the presence of a cell phone–again, that no one even checked–rated their relationship quality and closeness as lower than those who talked near a notepad.

Just in case this was a fluke–after all, people are all different, and not everyone’s a great conversationalist–the researchers did another experiment to see if the context of a conversation had any bearing on the cell phone’s effect on closeness. The scientists gave their volunteers casual topics (plastic trees–dude, really?) and more serious ones (important events in the last year) to chat about. The cell phone’s presence wound up not really affecting the responses of the volunteers who chit chatted about plastic trees, but as for the more serious talkers? It hindered their feelings of closeness and relationship quality quite a bit.

The end conclusion that researchers got? Interacting in a small, intimate environment with others who aren’t on the phone (or checking their FB mobile app, tweeting, or getting Google Alerts about Harry Styles) harbors much more warmth, closeness, and quality time than doing the same with mobile access.

It appears that being connected to the entire planet makes us lose grasp of the connections that are literally right in front of us. Keep that in mind next time you’re tempted to text during a family party, on a date, or hanging with your BFF: If you’re doing it because you’re bored, you’re probably part of the problem! Plus, dude–it’s sorta rude, isn’t it?

Do you think cell phones help or hurt your social life? Have any of your relationships been negatively affected by being on your cell phone? Have you ever gotten into a tiff with someone you’re close with over him or her using his or her cell phone too much–or vice versa? Tell us in the comments!

Uh oh –can you cell phone make you sick?

Forgive and forget–doctor’s orders! | Source

A new study actually says that forgiving people who have hurt you can have really good cardiovascular effects. If you forgive and forget instead of dwelling on and fuming in your anger, you’ll probably have a lot fewer spikes in your blood pressure.

How did scientists figure that out? It went down like this: They gathered a little over 200 volunteers and hooked ‘em all up to heart monitors. The researchers then told the volunteers to think about a time when a friend offended them (we’re sure you have a few memories like these in your mental arsenal, too). Then half of the group was instructed to think about how upset it got them, while the other half of the group was told to mull it over in a more forgiving way and to cut their pal some slack. Then the entire pool of volunteers were deliberately distracted for about five minutes.

When the researchers checked the heart monitors, the group that were told to stew in their hurt feelings towards their buddies had higher blood pressure than the “forgive and forget” group–even after being distracted for five minutes. Though they admit the study was a small one, the scientists involved believe that forgiving actually lowers your body’s “reactivity” to stressful events, allowing you to process and deal with it in a more healthy way. What’s more, they actually think that if you make a habit of living by the forgive and forget motto that you can get “sustained protection” from physical impacts–meaning that if you forgive and forget, you may actually feel less physical pain!

We should note though, that forgiving and forgetting is awesome–but if there’s anyone you have to forgive and forget about constantly, it may be better to forgive and forget not what a person did, but the fact that they exist. Because aside from “forgive and forget,” there’s also another good rule to live by: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!”

Do you dwell on issues or do you think it’s easier to forgive and forget? Has a friend ever done something that you had a lot of trouble forgiving her for? Is there any offense you think would be almost impossible to forgive and forget about? Tell us in the comments!

Need To Say You’re Sorry? Here’s How

Pictures on Facebook can cause so much drama in real life! | Source: Shutterstock

We, as girls, love putting pictures on Facebook. In fact, a study says that 75 percent of us admit to being a little overjoyed at it. It’s fun seeing us and our friends looking all cute, right?

But the bad thing is that putting pictures on Facebook can really stress us out. A lot of us feel left out when we see pictures on Facebook of other people together without us, and about half of us get freaked out if people put our er, less attractive pictures on Facebook. To make sure we look our best, though, a lot of us actually edit pictures on Facebook before we post them–because, really, no one needs to see that creepy guy lurking to photo bomb in the background (or that we rocked a huge zit that morning).

A lot of us admit to feeling insecure about our social status and appearance when we post stuff online, and especially when we post pictures on Facebook–as if magazines, models, and movies weren’t enough to drive us nuts, right? It can lead to friend breakups if one of both parties are particularly shallow or jealous–think “OMG, why would you tag that ugly picture of me!?” or “Why did you and Nicole go to that party without inviting me? I saw you tagged in her album!”

Pictures on Facebook can also lead to problems within your romantic relationships. Say you take a photo with your male cousin and post it online, and your boyfriend, who may not have met your family yet–or your crush, who’s casually flipping through your photos but doesn’t know you that well–sees it. They may make false assumptions about it. And you may do the same! If a cute girl posts pictures on Facebook with a guy you dig, you may throw in the towel, not realizing that it’s actually his sister-in-law, and that he’s really had the hots for you this whole time. Dangit!

The tricky thing here–and this is something important to remember, too–is that guys actually use Facebook a lot less than we do. In fact, only 42 percent of dudes–as opposed to 75 percent of us–like posting pictures on Facebook. So if you’re annoyed that your BF hasn’t uploaded that cute photo you guys took at the beach together, hold your horses before you text him and remember that it’s probably not personal!

And the same applies to how guys feel about their online persona–a lot less of them care. While about half of us admitted that our online lives–our friends and pictures on Facebook and stuff like that–make us insecure, only about a quarter of guys said the same thing. This is one arena–and we do mean one–where maybe guys do it better.

Then there’s the issue of status updates and “likes” and everything else. When you focus too much time on Facebook and social media, it can seem like you’re constantly in competition with others as to whose life is more awesome or who’s having the most fun. And the fact is, you’ll never know and you’ll never really win–no one will. Because we only know what’s on someone’s page, not everything that’s going on in their lives, and vice-versa. And let’s be real: We wouldn’t wanna!

Pictures on Facebook can cause so much drama that you may be better off scrapbooking instead! | Source: Shutterstock

The fact is, ideally, posting statuses or pictures on Facebook is simply a fun way to remember your good times with your pals. But when pictures on Facebook lead to drama in your social or romantic life (or depression when you’re solo), it’s not a good sign. It’s easy to get so invested in your online life that you forget about having and enjoying your real one. And at the end of the day, your happiness shouldn’t be determined by your number of friends or pictures on Facebook. It should be determined by how you actually live your fulfilling, awesome, full life–not how you document it on the Internet.

How often do you post pictures on Facebook? Have you ever had friend or guy drama over pictures on Facebook? Tell us in the comments!

Wait. Are Creeps Searching For You On Facebook?!

have you ever had a twitter war with your BFF?

Over the weekend, Rihanna and Ciara got into a big ole brawl… and it was all on Twitter!

The whole thing started when Ci took a jab at RiRi on E!’s Fashion Police, saying: “I ran into her recently at a party. She wasn’t the nicest…It’s crazy, because I’ve always loved and respected what she’s done in fashion. It wasn’t the most pleasant run-in.”

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And then the Twittering started:

@rihanna: “My bad Ci, did I forget to tip you? How rude of me…You gangsta huh? Ha.”

@ciara: “Trust me Rihanna you don’t want to see me on or off the stage.”

@rihanna: “Good luck with bookin that stage you speak of.”

@ciara “Pure comedy.”

|Have you heard Lady Gaga’s “Born this Way” video yet? gURLs are gushing over it on the Shout Out Boards!|

The gURLs called it a truce after that, but not until everyone and their mom saw the fight.

Have you ever had a Twitter battle? How did it end? Share your story below!

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