So here’s a playlist to nights spent whispering to each other until you fall asleep, waking up to discover your friend snores and growing up.

What songs remind you of your friends? What is the number one thing that every girls night needs? Tell us in the comments!

Playlist: 10 Sad Songs For Indulging In Your Sadness

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Friendship can be pretty tough, especially when one of our close friends is, well, a little too close. You love your friend to pieces, and hanging out with her is a lot of fun, but she’s a little clingy! They’re always inviting themselves over, won’t stop sending you texts, and–wait, does this sound a little like you? Take our quiz to find out whether or not you’re a clingy friend!

Do you have a clingy friend? What do you think can be done about it? Tell us in the comments!

My Best Friends Are Dating And Now I Feel Like A Third Wheel

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Oh man. This is definitely a rough situation. I understand where you’re coming from – no one likes to feel like a third wheel. It’s totally understandable for you to feel left out and a little bummed out, even if you’re happy for your friends at the same time.

You have two options here: you can voice your concerns to your friends or you can try to move on and stop hanging out with them. I’d like to think that the second choice isn’t an option, since I’m assuming you don’t want to lose either of your friends. Instead, try talking to them. If they are really your best friends, they’ll hear you out and do what they can to keep your friendship intact.

If you really honestly feel like they’re leaving you out, then you should say something. Approach them either separately or together, whatever you feel more comfortable doing, and just say that you love both of them and you’re so happy for both of them, but you feel a little left out. Let them know how much you don’t want to lose them as a friend. Say that you have no problem with their sexual orientation, but you want to continue to hang out with them without always feeling like you’re intruding on one of their private dates. You don’t need to be mean – just be honest and clear with them. Sometimes, new couples don’t realize how alienating they’re being. It’s okay to let them know nicely!

Talking to them should hopefully clear some things up, but - and this is a bummer – you should know that some things are going to change now that your best friends are dating. It will feel like it’s them against you because, well, it sort of is. I know that stinks to hear, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t continue being best friends with them. You should just get used to the idea of them hanging out without you and getting closer without you. And as much as that may suck, it’s also okay. Friendships won’t always stay the same over time – they evolve and change just like any other relationship. If you guys are truly all friends, you’ll be able to work around this stuff and stay friends.

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

How to deal with annoying PDA

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I feel your pain, girl. Sometimes trying to help and be a good friend isn’t easy and this is definitely one of those times. No one likes being the bearer of bad news, even if that news is only going to help someone. That being said, there are some ways you can give your BFF a hint about what’s going on without coming out and saying something really blunt.

While I would usually encourage you to be honest and straightforward with a best friend, in this case, being too honest is going to hurt her feelings and probably make her feel really embarrassed… and that might end up starting a fight. Instead, you can give her some subtle hints to try and get your point across. The next time you guys are hanging out, show her one of your perfumes and offer her a spritz. Say something like, “I’m in love with this perfume. You have to try it!”

But obviously you can’t offer her a spray of perfume every single time you see her, so maybe try something a little bit more direct. Go to the drugstore with her and say you need some new deodorant. Once you guys are there, say something like, “I love this brand of deodorant. You should try it. It smells good and it never stains my clothes!” You could also try checking out perfumes with her at the mall – when you find a scent you like for her, try encouraging her to buy it by telling her how amazing it smells on her. I know that sounds really manipulative and it is a little bit, but it could also be a strong hint to her that she needs to try something different.

If all of that fails, you may just have to be honest with her and tell her the truth as gently as possible. Tell her when it’s just you two talking (doing it in front of other friends might feel comfortable for you, but it won’t for her) and say something like this: “Hey, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I want to let you know that sometimes you smell a little. I’m just trying to be a good friend because I would want you to tell me that.” There’s no need to let her know other people are talking about her. Just try to be as nice as possible and let her know how much you care about her.

If you really don’t want to tell her, you may just have to live with the smell. But think about it: don’t you think she’d rather hear it from you than someone she doesn’t know as well?

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

Is it bad to think about sex a lot?

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Sure, there are times when I’d rather lay on the couch all day and binge-watch episodes of Scandal while eating a whole bag of Cheetos (I’ve totally never done this ever). But when I tell a friend I’ll hang out with them, I always follow through. Because friendship! There’s really nothing that gets under my skin more than a friend who blows you off.

And yet I still have those friends. I have this one friend who I love to death, but recently she’s become the biggest flake ever. It’s really, really getting on my nerves. We’re really close, but lately every time we make plans to hang out, she comes up with a last minute excuse to back out. And usually I’ll see on Instagram or Twitter that she’s out with another friend!

If you don’t want to hang out, then don’t make plans! It’s that easy. I’d much rather know beforehand so I can plan to do something with someone else. It’s so annoying! And if you’re going to flake on a friend, don’t put it on social media where they can see it.

I think it’s really tough on me because I often go out of my way to do things for this friend, but she can’t even bother to have lunch with me or text me back.

This is basically how I feel. Source: helloosunshine

And she doesn’t just break lunch and dinner dates. She avoids texts and phone calls even when I have something really important to talk about. I think I’ve been trying to keep the friendship in tact because I don’t want to go through another friend breakup, but it might be time to let it go.

The hardest part about dealing with a flaky friend is that it’s so difficult to talk to them about it. How can you talk to someone who’s become a total pro at avoiding you? It’s virtually impossible! I’ve called and texted. I’ve even Facebook messaged her! All with no luck. I don’t know what there is to do except talk to my friend and let her know how hurtful her actions have been.

I want to know what y’all think. How do you deal with a flaky friend? Have you ever brought it up before? Did she know she was being flaky? Tell me in the comments!
 

At least this friend isn’t a frenemy, right?

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I don’t know how I would have made it this far in life without my best friends. I think I owe a lot of my success to my BFFs because they were right by my side, encouraging me and helping me along the way. Best friends are essential in life, in my opinion.

Well, Thomas’s private day school in Battersea, South-West London doesn’t seem to agree. In fact, the school doesn’t allow students to have best friends. Headmaster Ben Thomas said, “You can get very possessive friendships, and it is much easier if they share friendships and have a wide range of good friends rather than obsessing too much about who their best friend is.”

While I think it’s important to foster socialization and friendship among all students, you can’t force everyone to get along. And you certainly can’t ban students from having best friends! That’s ridiculous! This BFF ban isn’t officially a school policy, but Thomas said he’d be “happy” to make it one.

Thomas goes on to explain that “These obsessive friendships can be very hurtful for those who are left out of them, and ostracising is as painful as physical bullying. These very obsessive friendships do need intervention and careful management by adults.”

Having a best friend does not make you a bully. If there is bullying going on, then the school should focus on how to resolve bullying. I spent a lot of time with my best friends in school to the point where we would only hang out with each other. But that’s what happens with groups of friends! When you find a group that you like, you hang out with that group, right? That didn’t mean I wasn’t friends with other students, but I preferred to hang out with my friends.

I think it’s absolutely insane to tell students who they can and can’t be friends with. And how will this be monitored? If you’re spending every lunch period with the same friend, you get a detention? It’s so stupid, I can’t even stand it.

I understand the idea that kids need to learn to be friends with all kinds of people. That’s important! But you will not get along with everyone in your life. That’s human nature, and it’s silly and quite ignorant that a school thinks otherwise. It’s even sillier that they think they have the right to tell their students who they choose to spend their time with.

I know personally, a best friend ban wouldn’t have stopped my BFFs and I from spending time together.

What would you do if your school told you that you could’t have a best friend? Can you imagine life without best friends? Tell us in the comments!
 

And I think best friends are better than frenemies, don’t you?

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It can be really hard to tell if you have a frenemy because they’re friendly, nice and probably do care about you deep down. They just maybe are too honest or are always trying to beat you at something. Or saying things that anyone else would take offense to.

Here are 15 ways to tell if you have a frenemy:

She never wants to listen to you.

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She’s always bossing you around.

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She gives you backhanded compliments.

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She always slightly critiquing you.

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She asks you questions that make you question yourself.

Source: sempeternal

She throws your secrets back at you as insults.

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She tries to control everything in your life by “being helpful.”

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She’s knocks down your ideas.

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She judges you a lot.

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She says something nice before saying something mean to soften the blow.

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Or sometimes she just says things that are waaaaaay too honest.

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Her problems are always more important.

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And she has a bit of an ego.

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She says things like this behind your back.

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But underneath it all, she’s still your friend!

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Here’s how to deal when your frenemy talks about you behind your back

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But I do regret telling my friends about it. My friend group at the time was not the same group I had by graduation. I was friends with a lot of people in school, but my main group was filled with a lot of shy, conservative and extremely religious girls. Most of them were not okay with the idea of sex before marriage, which is totally fine. I, however, believed that you could have sex when you wanted to.

One of my friend’s was on the fence about sex, so I told her because I wanted her to know that she could talk to me about it. But she told the rest of the group. And they got mad at me for it. One of them told me that she couldn’t believe I would disrespect myself like that.

Uh, excuse me? It is my body, my life, my choice. I never judged them for waiting, and I expected the same courtesy to not be judged for having sex.

It was really upsetting at that age because I didn’t quite know how judgmental your own friends could be. I fortunately had other friends in different groups that I started to spend more time with. But I endured a lot of mean looks across the cafeteria and heard a lot of nasty things muttered when I passed them in the halls. I learned that any real friend wouldn’t judge me and abandon me for my decisions.

Thankfully, the friends that I have now aren’t like that. They love me no matter what I do and are always supportive.

Sex is a very personal thing, and your sex life is no one’s business. Even though I made it a friend’s business by telling her about it, it wasn’t her business to tell the rest of the group.

I know that I didn’t do anything wrong because I did what was right for me. I just wish my friends had seen it that way too.

Have you lost your virginity? Did your friends get mad at you for it? Did you get mad at your friends for losing theirs? Tell us in the comments!
 

Check out 10 things I wish I knew before having sex

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One of my friends is in a relationship and has literally fallen off the planet. When they first started dating, we still hung out a lot. But the movie nights and hang out seshes got more and more infrequent the longer they were dating.

Fast forward to a year later, and she ignores every text and phone call I send her way. And it’s not just me. She’s ignoring everyone in our friend group. We didn’t have a falling out or anything like that. No drama. She’s just completely immersed herself in her relationship.

And I can see that she’s tweeting and Instagramming. I know she has her phone and her number hasn’t changed. She always tweets about her boyfriend and all of the things they do together, which means that she has abandoned all of her friends for her boyfriend.

Part of me gets it because I was in a relationship where my friends hated my boyfriend, and he didn’t want to hang out with them either. So I ended up spending a lot more time with him. But I would make time for my friends and never ignored their calls or texts.

It hurts knowing that she’s willing to toss our friendship aside just like that without an explanation. And it’s just really frustrating, and I can’t deal with another friend breakup! And how can I talk to her about this if she won’t talk to me? What am I supposed to do?

I could really use your input here! Have any of your friends done this? Should I let it go or keep trying to talk to her? Tell me in the comments!
 

On the other hand, here’s how to deal with a clingy friend

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Regardless, friend fights suck. They often split friend groups and people take sides. They can last a few hours or even a few months. And who are you supposed to hang out with when you’re fighting with your girls?

The good thing is, friend fights can be solved! I’ve got a few tips on how to deal with a friend fight and maybe how you can speed up the resolution process.

Click through for your complete guide to dealing with a friend fight!