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It started with her eating less and pushing food around on her plate at lunch. Then she started skipping lunch altogether, telling our group that she had to study or needed to catch up on her homework. Something just wasn’t right.

She began looking a little thinner, but nothing to be concerned about. People would ask if she lost weight, which would make her entire day. But to her friends, it was concerning.

Suddenly, she was skipping class or stopped coming to school altogether. When she did show up, she was wearing huge sweatshirts and jackets even when it was hot out. She wouldn’t return phone calls and would lash out when I asked what was going on with her. I knew I had to do something about it.

I went to my school’s guidance counselor to ask what I should do. I explained that my friend had been skipping lunch and was looking less than healthy. The counselor told me that unfortunately, the only thing I could do was to just be there for her. She said if I was really that concerned, then I should talk to her parents but that I should be prepared that my friend probably would blame me.

It turned out that another friend had already tried that. And her parents, unfortunately, were in complete denial about the whole thing. They ended up confronting her, but she freaked out. When she found out that we had brought it to their attention, she abandoned us as her friends even though we were trying to help.

A few weeks later, my friend ended up being taken to the hospital because her body was rejecting food. She was sent to rehab for pretty much the remainder of the school year. As hard as it was to see what happened to her, we were all so glad that she was getting the help she needed.

She made it through and now she’s back to her healthy self. Our friendship, however, didn’t quite make it. Every time I’ve seen her since then, we’re cordial and nice to each other. But we’re not friends anymore. It hurts because as her friends, we wanted to help her. I wish that our friendship had survived, but I’m so glad that she’s healthy and thriving. She seems really happy, and that’s honestly all I can ask for.

Have you ever had a friend who struggled with an eating disorder or addiction? What did you do? Tell us in the comments!
 
This post is written in partnership with Simon & Schuster and Letting Ana Go.
 

What should you do if you think your friend has an eating disorder?

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Okay, story time! For realz though, I need a little advice, girls. And I can’t think of a better place to get it than here, so please help me out! Read on to hear my story and then tell me what you think I should do:

Here’s what’s happening: A few months ago, my best friend (let’s call her Stacy, because I have no friends with that name) started casually dating my brother’s best friend (who we’ll call George, because I like that name). I  introduced Stacy and George to each other, not really thinking they would hit it off – but when they did, I was thrilled. Yay! One of my best friends was dating my brother’s best friend! I imagined us all hanging out all the time in a cute little group and I thought it would be awesome.

Wrong. Oh, I was so, so wrong. See, here’s the problem: George also happens to be one of my good friends. I’ve known him forever and he’s always at my house, going on vacay with my family because, obviously, he’s my brother’s best friend. It didn’t take long before I found myself stuck in the middle, as is what usually happens when two of your good friends start dating.

At first, it was stuff I could handle. I’d hang out with Stacy and she would ask me if George had said anything about her, or if my brother had said anything about her and George. Or she’d ask me stuff about George, like what I knew about his past relationships. Fine. I would spill to her. I like Stacy better than George (harsh, but true) and we had the whole “girl code” thing happening, so my loyalty was with Stacy.

Then things got a little more intense. One example: George had a family event coming up that he needed a date for. George had known about this event since he started dating Stacy, but for some reason, he told my brother that he didn’t want to bring her (bad idea, George: my brother likes to gossip to me). He even asked my brother to go with him! When my brother said no, I guess he eventually decided to just go for it and in the end, he asked Stacy to go.

When Stacy told me, she was super excited about it. I felt guilt rise up in my like a bad stomachache. I wanted to tell her the truth – that she was his second choice after my brother – SO badly. She deserved to know! But how could I burst her happy little bubble and tell her something like that? I couldn’t. So, I kept my mouth shut and decided to stay out of it.

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A few weeks later, I saw George comment on a picture of a girl and say something about how “hot” she was. My first instinct was to pick up my phone and text Stacy. She should know that her sort-of-BF was kind of a jerk, right? But my boyfriend convinced me not to say anything. “You’re just going to get yourself stuck in the middle, Jess. You think George isn’t going to realize who told Stacy about that comment?” I knew he was right. Besides, it was just a harmless comment, right? Did it really warrant a huge fight that I didn’t want to be involved in? I kept quiet.

But now things are getting worse. Earlier this week, my brother said to me, “So, George and Stacy are done, I guess?” I had just hung out with Stacy, who had told me that things were going great with George, so I was confused. When I asked him what he was talking about, he told me that George had been saying that he wasn’t that into Stacy anymore and he was going to stop talking to her. This was the complete opposite of what Stacy had been telling me about George. WTF?

This weekend, Stacy is having a little party and invited George, my brother and their friends. Yesterday, my brother told me that George was trying to convince everyone not to go to Stacy’s party! And when my brother said he was going, George got totally annoyed. Last I had heard from Stacy, George was going and she was thrilled.

When my brother told me this, my first thought was, “Okay, last straw.” I mean, how can I not tell my BFF all of this stuff? She’s my friend! She really likes this guy and I don’t want him to hurt her. I feel like if I were Stacy in this situation, I would want to know that this guy I’ve been dating for months has been saying really crappy things behind my back. And if I knew one of my best friends knew this, I would want her to be honest with me. So obviously I really want to tell Stacy what my brother told me.

But at the same time, I’m scared. Stacy really likes George and I don’t want to be the reason they break up. Also, George is my brother’s best friend and he’s my friend – if he finds out that I’m the reason Stacy stopped talking to him, he’s going to get mad at not only me, but my brother too. Even though I have my brother’s blessing to tell Stacy all of this stuff (because even my brother thinks it’s messed up), I’m scared to start all of this drama.

So, what would should I do? I usually try my hardest not to get involved in other people’s relationships, but this is really bugging me. I feel like I have an obligation to be honest with my friend. Should I get in the middle or should I mind my own business? Should I let her figure out that he’s a jerk herself? Am I a bad friend if I don’t say anything? HELP!!!! Tell me your advice in the comments below.

The 10 worst things about being in a relationship

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Friendship can be pretty tough, especially when one of our close friends is, well, a little too close. You love your friend to pieces, and hanging out with her is a lot of fun, but she’s a little clingy! They’re always inviting themselves over, won’t stop sending you texts, and–wait, does this sound a little like you? Take our quiz to find out whether or not you’re a clingy friend!

Do you have a clingy friend? What do you think can be done about it? Tell us in the comments!

My Best Friends Are Dating And Now I Feel Like A Third Wheel

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Whether the school year is coming to a close or you’re jetting off to a far away place, you’re going to say goodbye to someone. No matter if your time apart is short, long, or unknown, saying farewell takes a little something out of you. Here are some quotes to help you keep calm and carry on.

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What’s the worst part about saying goodbye to someone you care about? How well do you keep in touch? Tell us in the comments!

What Being In Love With Your Best Friend Is Really Like, In GIFs
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Sure, there are times when I’d rather lay on the couch all day and binge-watch episodes of Scandal while eating a whole bag of Cheetos (I’ve totally never done this ever). But when I tell a friend I’ll hang out with them, I always follow through. Because friendship! There’s really nothing that gets under my skin more than a friend who blows you off.

And yet I still have those friends. I have this one friend who I love to death, but recently she’s become the biggest flake ever. It’s really, really getting on my nerves. We’re really close, but lately every time we make plans to hang out, she comes up with a last minute excuse to back out. And usually I’ll see on Instagram or Twitter that she’s out with another friend!

If you don’t want to hang out, then don’t make plans! It’s that easy. I’d much rather know beforehand so I can plan to do something with someone else. It’s so annoying! And if you’re going to flake on a friend, don’t put it on social media where they can see it.

I think it’s really tough on me because I often go out of my way to do things for this friend, but she can’t even bother to have lunch with me or text me back.

This is basically how I feel. Source: helloosunshine

And she doesn’t just break lunch and dinner dates. She avoids texts and phone calls even when I have something really important to talk about. I think I’ve been trying to keep the friendship in tact because I don’t want to go through another friend breakup, but it might be time to let it go.

The hardest part about dealing with a flaky friend is that it’s so difficult to talk to them about it. How can you talk to someone who’s become a total pro at avoiding you? It’s virtually impossible! I’ve called and texted. I’ve even Facebook messaged her! All with no luck. I don’t know what there is to do except talk to my friend and let her know how hurtful her actions have been.

I want to know what y’all think. How do you deal with a flaky friend? Have you ever brought it up before? Did she know she was being flaky? Tell me in the comments!
 

At least this friend isn’t a frenemy, right?

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That’s happened to me also. My best friend growing up dated my first serious boyfriend after we broke up, and it completely wrecked our friendship.

All of this falls under the unwritten rules of the “Girl Code,” which is just filled with gray area. I didn’t have to tell my friend that I hooked up with this guy, especially since it wasn’t a big deal to either of us and we don’t have feelings for each other. But if I didn’t tell her and she found out from him or someone else, that would have changed things.

The fact that I was upfront about it and said something to her right away made it a non-issue. I told her that as her friend, I thought she deserved to know. And she did!

When it comes to exes and your friends, there’s so much that can go wrong. In the case of my ex and my BFF, she didn’t tell me. They secretly dated for months before I found out, and it felt horrible! I felt betrayed. He could have said something, but we didn’t talk after we broke up so why would he talk to me then? It was her duty as my friend to come to me before anything even happened to make sure I was okay with it, which I wasn’t.

I think in the case of exes and friends, your ex should have the decency not to go after your friends. But things happen, and this is a pretty common problem. If you do find out your ex has a thing for one of your friends, I would talk to your friend about it if she doesn’t come to you first.

Going through your ex is the wrong move, especially if y’all don’t talk anymore. Sure, you could go to him and say that it’s making you uncomfortable and you don’t like it, but y’all are broken up. You don’t have ties to him anymore, and he doesn’t necessarily owe you an explanation for anything.

But you do have ties with your friend. Talk to your friend and let her know how you’re feeling. Explain that while you can’t tell her who she can and can’t date, it would really hurt you if she got together with your ex. Let her know that it would jeopardize your friendship if it happened. If she really cares about you, she’ll take your feelings into consideration.

Has your ex ever fallen for one of your friends? What did you do? Tell us in the comments!
 

And here’s your complete guide to stop thinking about your ex!

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Let’s see what you had to say!

justliveyourlife-xx said:

Tell her what happened and tell her what he’s like. I bet she’ll really appreciate that you did.

happystarzz said:

I would tell my friend what her boyfriend did if that happened to me. If she doesn’t believe you, she’s not a true friend.

HorseyGal14 said:

Uh oh! This is a bit of a difficult one. Because 1) Your friend might not believe you and break up with you. Or 2) when she finds out she might ask you why you didn’t tell her. 3) Her boyfriend might turn evil on you. He is obviously a really horrible boyfriend! If he kisses you again or flirts slap some sense into him! Maybe you should tell you friend, quietly, by herself and calming and tell her straight.

Or you could wait for her to realize and keep it to yourself, but then your have to watch her being played with this jerk. If the relationship is serious and she is totally in-love with him, then she might take your news badly. However, if you are really good friends and she knows her bf is a bit of a two timer and they have a weak relationship she will probably believe you. Maybe try to record an incident with him on your phone for evidence. Whenever you are alone with him try to secretly record it on your phone on voice recorder or something, then you can catch him out and your friend will know and he can’t deny it.

Alrighty, this is some real stuff. Let’s pause for a minute and pretend that her boyfriend kissed someone else instead of you. You would tell her, right? I hope you would. I would want to know ASAP if my boyfriend cheated on me. And I’d much rather hear it from my friend instead of someone random.

Now, let’s pick back up. The fact that he even flirted with his girlfriend’s friend isn’t okay. The fact that he made a move is even worse. You have to tell her as soon as humanly possible. Yes, she’s going to be upset. Yes, she might even get mad at you because she doesn’t want it to be true. She doesn’t want to think that her boyfriend kissed her friend or anyone else. She might even blame you for it.

If you don’t tell her, there are several things that could happen. He’ll tell her, and you’ve betrayed her by not saying anything. Someone else will tell her, and you’ve still betrayed her by not saying anything. He’ll keep making moves on you and other girls and will hurt your friend regardless. She needs to know now so she knows what a skeeze her boyfriend is.

Has your friend’s boyfriend ever made a move on you? What happened? Did you tell her? Tell us in the comments!

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.

Do you have sexist guys in class? Here’s how to deal!

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Lucky for you and your friends, we have 5 essentials for hosting the perfect movie watch party:

1. Popcorn: What movie is complete without popcorn? In my mind, popcorn is basically the only acceptable movie snack. But you don’t just have to have regular popcorn. Pop some regular unflavored popcorn and lay out a variety of toppings for your friends to choose from. Spice it up by adding some Cajun seasoning to your butter. Or make it sweet by tossing it with M&Ms!

2. Drinks: Floats are the perfect drink/dessert combo! Set up a drink station with different types of soft drinks like cola and root beer and let your guests make their own floats! Root beer and chocolate ice cream is a great combo, trust me.

3. Spa night: Have your friends bring their favorite nail polishes or facial treatments so you can all treat yourselves to some TLC while you watch! It turns out that the length of a movie is the perfect amount of time for your nails to dry.

4. Get cozy: Break out a ton of pillows and blankets to lie out on the couch or on the floor. The more comfy stuff, the better. You could even put out some sleeping bags and turn it into a slumber party!

5. An awesome set up: Let’s face it, movies are better on big screens! You can win a brand new Sony Home System and see The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones before it hits theaters! And you’ll also win a Sony reader for you and your friends plus a Sony Reader Store gift card so you and your friends can read the book before the movie hits theaters August 23rd! Enter here!

What are your essentials for a movie night? Tell us in the comments!

This post is written in partnership with Sony and The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones.

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