However, there are some situations with friends where even if you’re in the right, it does more damage to not apologize than it would to just say those magic words and try to smooth over the situation. It’s not about being forced to apologize, but just trying to recognize when saying sorry goes a lot further than insisting that you’re right.

So how do you keep yourself from being a snarky Jenna Hamilton and instead offer a well-meaning apology to a friend despite feeling like you’ve done nothing wrong? Get back to BFF status quickly with these eight tips about how to apologize to a friend even when you’re not totally feeling it.

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Make The First Move

This is sometimes the hardest step because we want the other person to acknowledge their wrongdoings. Saying sorry when we feel we are right can be tough, and saying it first can be even tougher. Still, it's the mature thing to do, especially if you want to keep this friendship going. It goes a long way to show your maturity, as well. Plus, who knows - you opening up first could give your friend the push she needs to realize how she was actually in the wrong.

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Are You At Fault At All?

Sometimes even when we're mostly right, there's a little mistake we can apologize for. Maybe your friend shouldn't have ditched your plans unexpectedly, but you probably still shouldn't have sent that passive-aggressive text message after the fact. If you can at least pinpoint something that you do feel badly about, it will allow you to make a sincere apology without feeling pressure to say something you don't really mean.

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Try Writing A Letter

Sometimes when we don't 100% want to apologize, even when we try to keep it simple we can give ourselves away. In these cases, a letter might be a good way to go. It's more personal than something like a text, but it also allows you to draft up what you want to say than get frustrated in the moment when you're apologizing when you think you shouldn't have to be. It's just a way to create a little buffer to apologize on your own terms in a way that isn't rude.

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Focus On Feelings

Just because your friend is upset with you for a reason that's not your fault, you still probably don't like seeing her so sad. Focus on that aspect in your apology. Talk about how you hate seeing her like this and you want to work through it. It's another way to not have to take on the whole blame of the situation, but still show you're sorry that she's been having a hard time and that you're committed to both of you getting through this.

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Don't Over Do It

If you choose to apologize in person, don't treat this apology like an audition for the school play by turning on fake tears or delivering really dramatic lines. In truth, that will probably make it more obvious that you're kind of trying to fake it. Instead, just be simple and direct - not to the point where you're short with your friend, but stay on track to deliver your "sorry" without all the meaningless bells and whistles.

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You Don't Have To Grovel

Similarly to not over-doing it, you can still apologize without sacrificing your self-respect. I know I get upset about apologizing for things that aren't always my fault, but if I can present myself in a confident, strong way, at least I don't feel like I am being pushed around. I am choosing to apologize, not feeling forced to. If you really are not in the wrong, you don't need to grovel or beg for forgiveness. It'll end up making you feel crummy and that's unfair. Just try to be sincere, but don't lose yourself.

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Move On

Don't hold it over your friend's head that you were the one to graciously apologize when you didn't really have to. The point of apologizing is to achieve forgiveness and closure, so once you do it, let that be the end of it. Post-apology, it should no longer matters who was right or wrong. If you're going to dwell on it forever than it sounds like it was never that important to work through it with you to begin with.

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Sometimes You Still Shouldn't

All that aside, if you find yourself constantly apologizing to a friend and trying to fix things for the sake of your friendship, it may be a sign that she's taking advantage of you. Everyone makes mistakes with friends, but there's a difference between it happening once in a while and you constantly apologizing even when your friend is crummy. If your gut is really feels you did nothing wrong, sometimes you just have to trust that. Gauge it for yourself or seek out an adult for another opinion on your specific situation.

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Have you ever had to say sorry when you didn’t fully mean it? Why did you decide to do it? Tell me in the comments.

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Demi Lovato can use a few tips on how to be nice to people she doesn’t like–like Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift! One tip? The truth hurts sometimes, so keep it to yourself! | Source: WENN

Demi Lovato recently showed that she’s not too sure how to be nice to people she doesn’t like too much. She recently threw some not-so-subtle shade at Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez in a radio interview–and out of nowhere!

Here’s what happened: Demi did an interview with a Minnesota radio station, and she dropped a line that may or may not have been referencing Selena and Taylor’s high-profile, often-photographed relationships with Justin Bieber and One Direction’s Harry Styles. And it was totally random. The DJ asked why Demi’s fans feel so close to her. Her reply:

“A lot of celebrities don’t open up to their fans. They just tell them what they want to hear. They don’t really tell them things that can benefit their lives. They just flaunt around a boyfriend to sell a couple albums. That’s not what my career is about.”

Obviously she didn’t specify who she was talking about, but it wouldn’t be the first time Demi has thrown shade at Taylor and Selena. (Remember this?)

We know it can be tough to keep quiet when you can’t stand somebody–especially when you’re spilling some serious truth tea–but it’s important to know how to be nice to people you may in actuality want to throttle. It’s not about being fake–it’s about being civil. Here are some tips on how to be nice to people you loathe–and why it’s important!

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
Seriously. It will keep you out of trouble and make you look more mature! Change the subject or just be like, “I don’t really know her.”

If you don’t have anything nice to say, you can also make something up.
You’ll look even better. If someone asks about someone else you’re known to have a beef with, just say something like, “Oh, Liz? She seems cool.” And move it along.

If a friend betrays you, don’t follow suit.
When someone ditches you for someone new, be it a BFF (like Selena and Demi) or a boyfriend (like Joe Jonas and Demi when he dumped her for Ashley Greene), it can be tempting to talk smack to vent and get back at them … but all it will do is solidify in their mind that they’re better off without you!

Trust that the truth will come out on its own.
Even when you know someone is being fake, resist the urge to diss them. Everyone and everything gets exposed sooner or later–that’s karma! Believe in it and hold your tongue (unless it’s something serious or harmful, in which case you should let an adult know!).

Focus on yourself.
If you already have a hard time figuring out how to be nice to someone you don’t dig, it’s only going to be tougher if you’re expending energy on that person. Work on yourself and pretend she doesn’t exist! It’ll save you a lot of time, aggravation and drama. And you’ll wind up being more successful solo–check out how Demi Lovato’s career skyrocketed once she flew solo and out of Selena’s shadow!

Do you have any tips on how to be nice to someone you don’t like? Do you think Demi Lovato was talking about Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez? What tips would you give to Demi Lovato on how to be nice to Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez? Tell us in the comments!

Demi Lovato knows how to be nice to people she loves–she gives great friendship advice!

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We seriously used to be like sisters. | Source: Shutterstock

In high school Beth and I were in the same group of friends, an unstoppable combo of girls usually reserved for the pages of young adult books. We had sleepovers on our friend Izzy’s trampoline and hung out on Tessa’s sunroof while blasting Lauryn Hill. We made photo collages and hung out doing stupid stuff (that we wouldn’t want to be caught doing) in strip mall parking lots. Beth and I were inseparable.

So when Beth and I ended up going to the same college, it seemed natural that we’d live together. Why endure the random roomie with halitosis and a penchant for clipping her toenails on my throw pillow? Beth and I would obviously live together. We never argued, never had that competitive dynamic sometimes present in female relationships. And besides, we were FRIENDS, not Siamese-twins. We would build our own separate lives.

It wasn’t until sophomore year that things changed. Without realizing it was happening, we had blended together—I could no longer tell where she ended and I began. If I started wearing suede clogs, Beth bought a pair. If I loved the new Ben Folds album, Beth loved it more. My two best friends from college lived with us then, and they had issues with Beth, to the point that everything—dishes left in the sink, some side comment, the hot senior on the 5th floor—was a fight. Beth kept coming to me, wanting me to defend her when neither person was right. Eventually it was clear: I needed space. Another apartment, another building, another block. I knew our friendship wouldn’t survive another year of living together. But I also knew she’d never forgive me for moving out.

After I told her how I felt we stopped talking. She moved in with another roommate, and I moved in with the two other girls, sealing my fate as The Heinous Traitor Ex-Best-Friend. I reached out several times but she ignored me, still hurt by my decision. Senior year felt like some reality TV divorce—divvying up friends, slinging insults, lots of blaming and avoidance. Why couldn’t she forgive me? How could that one decision erase the five years of friendship that came before?

Five years later, I walked up the stone path to our mutual-friend Izzy’s house, her bridal shower gift in my hands. Beth and I hadn’t spoken, much less seen each other, since those last days of college. I should’ve been over it. By that point I should’ve stopped wondering where she worked or who she was friends with. Why did I still care what she thought of me?

As I stepped into Izzy’s living room, I noticed Beth by the kitchen door. She turned, and for a brief moment she smiled—an easy, all consuming smile, just like the kind I knew from high school. We hugged, but within minutes the pain returned, the feelings as fresh as they’d been before. The rest of the shower we avoided one another.

Two weddings and nearly a year later, we managed to become Facebook friends. Now and then I still look at her page. When I click through those pictures I don’t hurt anymore. I wonder how I ever felt so angry with her. I can’t even remember the things that were said. She’s become like another ex-boyfriend to me, reduced down to just a few photo albums, pictures of someone I loved and lost.
 
 
 

Anna Carey is the author of the Eve trilogy published by HarperCollins. The first book in the series, Eve, was released in October and the sequel, Once, is available now. Follow @annacareybooks on Twitter.

Have you ever broken up with a friend? Which do you think is worse, a friend break up or a romantic break up? Tell us in the comments!

 
 

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Ever been soooo mad at your BFF, but then realized you couldn’t stay mad at her because, well, she’s your BFF? Check out what happens when Pubertina tries to replace Debs with a new (kind of imaginary) friend. It’s hilarious.

What’s the worst fight you’ve ever been in with a friend? Tell us in the comments!

Remember When Pubertina Went Boy Crazy?! SO Freaking Funny!

Constant side eye? May be time to find new friends! | Source: Shutterstock

Having to break up with a friend can be–and usually is–a lot harder than dumping some douchebag guy. Chances are you’ve known your pal a long time and have a ton of memories together, so you’re kind of reluctant to let that all go. Even tougher? She probably knows a lot of your secrets, which may make you nervous to do anything to piss her off. What if she tells the whole world your business? What if she turns your other friends against you?

Thing is, you can’t keep palling around with someone just because you’re afraid of what they’ll do if you don’t. It’s kind of exhausting to pretend, isn’t it? And wouldn’t you rather use your time to hang out with people who you actually dig and appreciate (and vice versa)? It sucks, but we all have to do it at some point. Every situation is different, though, so depending on the circumstances, exactly how you go about your break up with a (former) bestie can vary. Read on to learn how to get your life back from a frenemy!

Some relationships are meant to last forever and others, well, not so much. And by relationships, we don’t just mean the romantic variety. Friendships can have expiration dates too. And when your best friend and you are cruising full speed ahead to Splitsville, it’s not a fun road trip at all. Meg is here to smooth out the ride with five tips on how to deal with a BFF break up. From figuring out if this friendship is worth saving to how to handle your feelings, Meg lets you in on the best ways to deal with a best friend break up.

Have you ever had to break up with a friend? Tell us all about it in the comments!

Want More Advice From Meg? Of Course You Do!