Wondering how to date a man you like? According to “The Rules,” you have to leave him hanging. Lame! | Source: ShutterStock

A while ago, a book called The Rules came out, and it was basically a guide on how to date a man. A completely stupid, pointless guide that set women back about 40 years. Now, in the world of Facebook, match.com, and the like, an updated guide is available to set us back 20 more years, making that a total of 60.

The gist of it all? “If you want a guy to like you, don’t do anything. Just exist.” And I mean, fine–you’re wonderful, and that should be enough. But “The Rules” explain that how to date a man is actually to appear almost totally uninterested. You can’t approach him first, you can’t IM him first, nothing.

This is problematic for a few reasons. One, it’s pretty pointless to not go after what you want and just expect things to come to you. Two, if you act like you’re not interested, guess what? Guys may well assume you’re not interested, and they’ll move on to someone who makes no mistake that they like him back. And three? Well, it’s boring.

To be fair, some of their rules on how to date a man are fair enough: We like their “No contact after midnight” rule, because, well, those are booty call hours. If you’re looking for a hookup, by all means–but if you want him to date you, it’s probably a good idea to wait til the AM to respond.

Thankfully, a lot of us are smart enough to not buy into this nonsense. A new survey says 79 percent of us take the “why wait?” philosophy and initiate contact with dudes we dig online, whether it’s through a friend request, a tweet, or whatever. However, 71 percent of ladies agree with the book, which says to wait half an hour before texting a guy back–and 10 percent leave a dude hanging for four hours. Seems sort of hypocritical considering it drives you nuts when guys do that to you, doesn’t it?

Basically, The Rules wants you to start a relationship–or rather, wants the guy to start a relationship–based on game playing. It doesn’t sound like a really solid foundation, does it?

Our advice? Ignore all the rules on how to date a man. The real guide to how to date a man who deserves you–and the least stressful method–is to just be yourself and treat a guy the way you’d want him to treat you!

Do you think The Rules is a good guide on how to date a man? Do you think a  guy should always make the first move?  Tell us in the comments!

Hopefully your guy is a legit nice one–not one of these “nice guys!”

And don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

This “nice guy” turned an okay night into a bad date when he went overboard with texting! | Source: Shutterstock

Thing is, he totally thought we were on a date. He put his arm around me during the movie, which was a little weird, but not gropey or gross, so I didn’t make a big deal out of it. (I did mention he was hot, right?) Afterward we grabbed food together–all four of us–and then Jim and I exchanged numbers. He seemed cool and we had a few things in common, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to see where it led. I figured anyone related to Joe, who was a legit nice guy–he’s one of my best friends in the world–was probably cool.

I headed home after that, a roughly 20 minute drive, because I was meeting my bestie for a late dessert date.

Here’s where it gets horrifying. When I pulled up to my friend’s house and got out my phone to let her know I was there, I had about 27 text messages. They were all from Jim.

The first messages were pretty sweet: “You’re so pretty!” “You’re really funny too.” “I liked your Chucks.” “I’d love to hang out again.” Aw, cute! Right? Well, so far.

Then they got paranoid. See, he went from a nice guy to a “nice guy.”

“Is this even the right number?” “Joe said this is really your number, so you must be ignoring me.” “What the Hell is your problem? I thought we hit it off.” “Did you block me from Facebook?” (I didn’t block him–I hadn’t been able to accept his friend request, because, you know, I was driving.)

Then they got nasty.

“I bet you’re one of the girls who likes guys who treat her like s***.” “That’s what I get for being a nice guy. I hope you’re happy with your life.” “Don’t crash into a pole or anything, b****.”

Thankfully, I didn’t crash into a pole, because I was paying attention to the road and not my cell phone while I was driving. When I did accept his friend request on FB, I saw that he also posted about half a dozen statuses like this: “That’s what I get when I put my heart on the line.” “Love is such bulls***.” “No one wants a nice guy anymore, f*** it.”

Remember what I said about “nice guys” a while ago? I stand by my theory that they’re actually not all that nice. In fact, someone of them are flat out crazy. And maybe that’s why no one wants “nice guys” anymore!

Have you ever had a bad date? Has a guy ever gone crazy after one date with you? What would you do if you got texts like that after one date with a guy? Have you ever had a nice guy turn into a “nice guy?” Tell us in the comments!

These “nice guys” don’t even know that it means to be nice!

And don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

little j is a big pro and sending texts that get noticed

It doesn’t matter if your crush or sweetie’s phone is smart or not, if you want to snag their attention, you’re the one’s that has to be smart. Translating that into text-talk though isn’t all that easy. gURL’s breaking it down to 101-level with 8 texts you can try to get your sweetie’s attention.

But first things first, let’s lay down two golden rules: Sarcasm is really hard to translate through text, so only the brave and experienced should attempt it. And, a good sense of humor is required. Now, on to the flirtexting:

1. The Impromptu date: “going to Starbucks for a gingerbread latte. wanna come?”

2. Bold and ready: “Whatcha doing tonight?”

3. “I sooo know ur thinking about me. So I thought I would say hi!” is a good way to go if you’ve had a flirty in-person moment.

4. “I really had a great time! Even if u r a little dorky ” This one’ll do after a date, but not let it go too much to their head.

|Hold up. Do you think sexting and nudie pics are the way to their heart? Not necessarily, gURL! Read up and think again.|

5. “Miss me yet? ” Perfect for the post-three hour phone conversation.

6. The “Accidental” Blank Text. A simple “Whoops! Sorry! What’s up with you?” follow up to his “?” and the conversation’s started.

7. The “Accidental” Misfire. Send a text to them as if you had really meant it to go to a friend. It could be forward “Didn’t Justin look so hot in that hat today?” or a more mild “It was so cool to hang w Justin lw. i’m really feeling him.”

8. “Hi.”  Seriously. Sometimes, the simpler, the better. A smiley wouldn’t hurt either.

What are some of your successful flirtexts? Share them below!

-gURL

more ways to get gURLy:

• Pearls of wisdom, survey q’s, polls, quotes to live by — it’s all on gURL.com’s Twitter. Follow us!
• Luv gURL? Then ‘Like’ us, too! Let’s be friends on Facebook and you’ll get first looks at stories!
• Can’t get enough of gURL.com? We don’t blame you. Sign up for our weekly newsletter!
• Let’s talk. Shout Out advice, music, politics, poetry, your style and MORE!
• Your hook on hooking up: gURL’s sex, health & relationships blog.
• Need some advice, quick? Ask Heather anything; she answers three q’s, daily!
• Bored? Take new quizzes and play gURL games!