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It seems like there’s a stigma with us Gurl girls that we’re these super-extreme feminists who hate men and think women can’t wear makeup or cute outfits. That is so not the case! We love the male species! We think makeup is great! We love cute outfits!

We absolutely love hearing your opinions and what you have to say. That’s part of why the Gurl community is so special! I personally want you to feel like you can come to us and have great discussions.

But comments are coming in that a lot of you don’t want to identify yourself as feminist because you think it has a bad connotation. I agree that in the past feminism had a bad reputation. But being a feminist is not a bad thing, and it hurts me to the depths of my soul that some of you feel that way!

Feminism is by definition “the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.”

Do you think humans should be equal? Then you are a feminist.

I wrote an article years ago about feminism, and I said “I’m not a feminist, but…” I don’t regret much in my life, but I regret uttering those words. I couldn’t have been more wrong about my own views on feminism, not to mention the idea in general.

For a long time, I didn’t understand feminism. I thought being a feminist meant I had to hate all men and that I couldn’t be cute or let a guy pay for dinner. And that simply is not true. Are there feminists that hate men and don’t want to wear makeup and won’t let guys do anything for them? Yes. But that is not the majority.

The reason I write about things like sexist magazine spreads and how offensive it is when a male professor degrades women in class is because these are important issues. It’s because feminism isn’t “done” yet. I don’t think I realized how sexist the world can be until I was getting harassed every day on the street. Or until a guy I was seeing was legitimately upset that an all-girl team beat his team in bowling. Or until I saw how many girls say they aren’t feminists.

The reason I talk about feminism is to have these kinds of conversations. I went for too long without truly understanding what feminism was, and I want you to understand it. I want you to be strong and be able to stand up for yourself when you are not treated equally. Like if you’re mistreated by a professor because you refused his advances. Or if you have a boss who thinks you’re his secretary on top of your job just because you’re a woman. Or if your boyfriend tells you to get back in the kitchen where you belong.

While some of your comments are breaking my heart, I do want to thank you because it made me think (the other Gurl staffers can attest that I’ve been talking about this forever) about my own views on feminism and how we can create a better understanding of it.
 
Do you think that being a feminist is a bad thing? Do you think feminism means you have to be on the extreme side of it? Are you a feminist? Tell us in the comments!
 

You can still be a feminist even if you say “bitch”

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A lot of times, feminism can have this negative connotation. We talk a lot about feminism here on the site and our hope is to dispel some of those stigmas. Today, we wanted to continue to celebrate feminism in a positive light by highlighting what some of you have said feminism means to you and why you think it’s necessary.

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What does feminism mean to you? How do you think feminism can be seen in a more positive light? Tell me in the comments.

5 Reasons Feminism Is Totally Awesome

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This quiz is short, I promise! | Source: ShutterStock

I know, I know. It’s a Friday and the last thing you want to think about is taking a quiz, but trust me, I think is the coolest test ever. And this is coming from someone who always elected to write the paper rather than take the test, so the fact that I am excited about it shows its awesomeness.

Quick hat tip to the crew over at Bust magazine for cluing me into the existence of the website, AreYouAFeminist.com. Click on through to take the quiz (which by the name of the website, I’m going to assume you get what the test is about).

Take it! I really want to know what you all think of it. I don’t want to give too much away, but there are at most, two questions. Two! Especially if you are fast at clicking, this will barely take you any time.

After you take it, come back over here to Gurl and let me know if you think it’s as cool as I do. We also have plenty on our site on the topic of feminism that you may want to check out after you submit your answers.

I took it for real the first time, but then I went back through and picked different answers, just to see. Doing that actually made the quiz even more interesting for me so feel free to do the same!

Anyway, I am proud to say that the results determined that I am a feminist! Luckily I have not been lying in the “About Me” sections of all of my social media profiles. Phew!

Did you take the quiz? What did you think of it? Tell us in the comments. 

8 Sexist Quotes By Powerful People That Will Make You Cringe

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Instead of focusing on those people who apparently don’t realize that feminism is about equality of all people and not superiority of women (maybe they should read this), I decided to focus on the people who celebrated feminism. I rounded up 10 of my favorite tweets from the #TellAFeministThankYou hash tag – some are funny, some are serious, all are super smart. Check it out:

Which of these tweets was your favorite? What are your thoughts on feminism? What would you thank a feminist for? Tell us in the comments!

Feminism, explained!

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Playing for Keeps might be the least feminist movie ever. We wish our faves weren’t in this! | Source: WENN

This news makes us so sad, because we love Gerard Butler (hello, King Leonidas!), but his new movie, Playing for Keeps, is so. So. Bad. Seriously, look at the reviews. They’re scary!

Playing for Keeps is a romantic comedy, and the basis of it is pretty much this: a good-looking jerk with not much going for him makes all the women in town melt. They’re all needy, whiny, and the only one who resists him–played by Jessica Biel–is pretty much a frumpy, conservative mess (and, spoiler alert–but not really, because these movies are super predictable–she eventually falls for him, too). The gist is “Hey, treat women like crap, because they don’t know any better. They’ll totes love you for it!”

Basically, Playing for Keeps–and most other rom-coms–just make us look bad. And that’s bad enough in itself, but becomes even worse when you remember that they’re made, marketed, and sold for women to watch!

Most romantic comedies just make us look desperate, sad, needy, and like we can’t function without a dude. Even the movies in which the female characters are made to seem independent, at least on the surface, they spend the bulk of that time pursuing a guy–or finally caving into one. And honestly, most of them aren’t even funny. Another thing to consider? In most rom-coms, it’s an average looking guy who gets to land the Megan Fox-type girl. You never see someone actually sort of normal and human looking, like Rebel Wilson, dating Gerard Butler in a script unless it’s for a quick and easy joke, do you? And if there’s ever a feminist character, she’s usually either annoying, shrill, uptight, loud, unattractive, or a combination of all that, and she usually is portrayed as needing to “loosen up.” (And guess who loosens her up? That’s right, a jerky guy!)

It bums us out that stars we love are associated with movies so anti-feminist and annoying. This is probably one reason why Miley Cyrus isn’t a fan of rom-coms–she actually told a newspaper, “My worst kind of movies to watch are romantic movies. It makes me feel so uncomfortable. I can’t stand it. I really love comedies.” Because, hey! You can be funny without perpetuating gender stereotypes, and that’s awesome.

Perhaps the scariest part of the romantic comedy conundrum is that so many of us sort of look to these movies to see how we think relationships should be. But relationships should be based on mutual respect, admiration, interest, and affection. Most romantic comedies have the romance rooted in deception, sexism, or what would constitute in the real world as outright harassment.

This isn’t to say that you should stop going to the movies or be ashamed for liking rom-coms. But we just wish rom-coms, which are supposed to appeal to women and girls, actually portrayed us as the strong, multidimensional, and, yes, feminist characters that we are.

Do you think Playing for Keeps is sexist? Do you like romantic comedies? Do you think romantic comedies need to be more feminist? Tell us in the comments!

Playing for Keeps wasn’t the only anti-feminist rom-com this year. This movie was pretty bad, too!

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Katy Perry insists she’s not a feminist. She’s sure acting like she is. | Source: WENN

We were so excited when Katy Perry won the Billboard Woman of the Year title–considering her massive success for Teenage Dream and all of its singles, her movie, her California Dreams tour, and even her perfume and eyelash lines, she totally deserved the honor.

But we were so bummed when she said the following:

“I am not a feminist, but I do believe in the strength of women.”

Um, Katy? You clearly don’t know what the word “feminist” means. A feminist is, by definition (seriously, you can look it up), someone who thinks men and women, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, should all be treated equally. Feminists don’t want to go around castrating dudes–feminists are more like Lily Ledbetter, who’s all, “Hey, why’s this dude making more money than me for doing the same job with the same amount of experience?”

If Katy Perry really isn’t a feminist, we’re surprised she campaigned for Barack Obama so heavily, because it’d mean she didn’t believe in her own right to vote. If Katy Perry really isn’t a feminist, she wouldn’t mind if, hypothetically speaking, Justin Bieber earned about 30 percent more money than she did to perform at the same concert. If Katy Perry really isn’t a feminist, she wouldn’t mind being illiterate and staying home all day instead of working. And she certainly wouldn’t need so many sweet rides, because women totes shouldn’t be able to drive, right?

The fact that Katy Perry doesn’t think she’s a feminist doesn’t mean she’s not a feminist. It just means she’s really ignorant about what feminism stands for–and it’s a shame that she’s sending that message to girls everywhere, because it implies that they should be somewhat embarrassed for not wanting to be second class citizens. In reality, feminism shouldn’t embarrass Katy Perry. But songs about binge drinking, shooting whipped cream from her bra, and having loud sex with notorious scuzzbucket John Mayer probably should.

Do you think Katy Perry really isn’t a feminist? Do you think Katy Perry saying she’s not a feminist is detrimental to feminism? Do you consider yourself a feminist? Tell us in the comments!

Dating a douchebag who doesn’t respect women really isn’t a feminist move, Katy Perry!

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Ke$ha may not have her own dollar like another famous feminist, but she’s got a dollar sign in her name! | Source: WENN

When you think of a famous feminist, a few strong ladies probably come to mind: Gloria Steinem, Susan B. Anthony, and … Kesha? You read that right. The glitter goddess is on a mission to bring equality to the sexes!

When she first broke out with “Tik Tok,” the Cannibal Queen came under a lot of fire for her free spirited, party girl persona–and whether or not you think brushing your teef with a bottle of Jack is dentally hygienic, she raises a pretty valid point about the whole thing: Guys sing about similar things all the time and no one even bats an eye at it.

“If men can talk about drinking in every awesome rock n’ roll song and every awesome rap song, why can’t a woman?” she sassed in a new interview. She also drew attention to the rampant slut shaming not just in music, but also in society, where the same things guys get high-fived for, women and girls get judged on. “Just because I drink doesn’t mean I’m a drunk,” she griped. “Just because I have sex and I’m not embarrassed doesn’t mean I’m a whore.”

As if we didn’t love her enough already, right? But wait! It gets better.

She flat out asks, “If men can do it, why can’t a woman do it?” And dude, she’s absolutely right. She’s making it her mission to point out the imbalances between guys and gals–and to even those out through her music and her activism.

Though Kesha may not have her face on her own dollar yet, the dollar sign diva is definitely onto something, and we applaud her for it. Whether or not you like her music or agree with her lifestyle, it’s unfair for women to be criticized for the same behavior for which men are usually rewarded. She explained, “I really feel one of my main reasons for being on this earth is to level out the playing field just a little bit.”

A big part of leveling the playing field means not being judged for playing the field. Props to Kesha for being vocal about it!

Do you think Kesha is a good feminist icon? Do you agree with Kesha about the double standards in society? How do you think we can end slut shaming? Tell us in the comments!

Watch Kesha kill it at the 2012 American Music Awards!

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Get a clue, Dona! | credit: WENN.com

Donatella Versace told the Telegraph U.K., “Feminism is dead in the world. It comes from another time. I’m a feminist. I want to fight, but I don’t see many people with this desire to fight for something. Women don’t help each other, especially in fashion. I know Miuccia [Prada] … but that’s it. Nobody else.”

Maybe she is just misinformed (or blind)? When I read the My.Gurl Boards, the thoughtful comments, and the articles here on Gurl–it’s plainly clear to me that feminism is alive and well.

Older women often think feminism is dead. I’m not sure why.

Are we not marching in the streets? Yes we are. Remember the Slutwalks all over the world, Canada, U.S., Israel, London?

Are we not in politics? Yes we are. Women like Sandra Fluke, Hilary Clinton, and Sonia Sotomayor continue to break ground for women and women’s rights.

Are we conforming? Nope. No matter how hard the media industries want to impose standards, we resist. Whether that means breaking blond stereotypes, becoming engineers and athletes, or just being exactly who we want to be.

Slutwalk London | Credit: Chris Saxon/WENN.com

Women don’t help each other? I recently wrote about a study that debunked the myth that women sabotage either to get ahead. Women are actually more likely to help each other than men.

Women don’t help each other in fashion? That’s a bit peculiar coming from her. Donatella refused to allow Versace’s line for H&M to be worn by “real women” in an ad campaign and demanded models instead. Doesn’t sound like Donatella is doing much for women in fashion either.

We are young, 21st century feminists! So why would Donatella declare something so random, generalized, and kind of insulting to women?

It sounds like Donatella may have bought into female stereotypes herself or maybe she defines feminism in a completely different way? Having hairy legs and burning bras isn’t the only way we define feminism today. Feminism just means women have (and should have) the right to behave, look, and live anyway they want without unjust interference or shame.

Maybe there aren’t any quick and easy identifiers for feminism anymore? Maybe you don’t even define yourself as a feminist, but you live a very feminist life–free from social pressures, gender roles, and other unfair expectations? Maybe feminism succeeded in allowing feminists, like you and me, to come in all shapes, sizes, outfits, subcultures, religions, races and political backgrounds?

Maybe Donatella can’t see what’s right in front of her? Feminists everywhere. Feminists in their thirties, twenties, teens, and tweens with views that oppose, agree, and challenge each other. Perhaps, we all have different reasons why or ideas of what makes us feminist? After all, if feminism tried to unify us and turn us all into the same cookie cutter feminists–that would be so un-feminist!

Not sure what Donatella’s reasoning was, but I think she needs to rethink her position.

Are you a feminist? Let us know in the comments!

The "F" in Feminism stands for FREAKING AWESOME. | Source: Shutterstock

Feminism is actually super-awesome: it’s sex-positive (woohoo!), kind of bad ass (think Buffy Summers, ladies!), and it’s got the power to save the world.

Not quite convinced yet? Keep reading with me to find out what makes feminism so awesome–and why YOU will be calling yourself a feminist before you know it!

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However, for the most part, these blame the victims of rape, say it’s OK to hit women, insist feminism means women want special treatment (as opposed to equality for ALL), that women only want male attention, and that feminists only exist to hate men. They’re just gross and not funny. There is no punchline. The only punchline we can make out is: “Aren’t women just awful bitches!”

Do you find these memes offensive? Let us know in the comments!