Source: Shutterstock

It started with her eating less and pushing food around on her plate at lunch. Then she started skipping lunch altogether, telling our group that she had to study or needed to catch up on her homework. Something just wasn’t right.

She began looking a little thinner, but nothing to be concerned about. People would ask if she lost weight, which would make her entire day. But to her friends, it was concerning.

Suddenly, she was skipping class or stopped coming to school altogether. When she did show up, she was wearing huge sweatshirts and jackets even when it was hot out. She wouldn’t return phone calls and would lash out when I asked what was going on with her. I knew I had to do something about it.

I went to my school’s guidance counselor to ask what I should do. I explained that my friend had been skipping lunch and was looking less than healthy. The counselor told me that unfortunately, the only thing I could do was to just be there for her. She said if I was really that concerned, then I should talk to her parents but that I should be prepared that my friend probably would blame me.

It turned out that another friend had already tried that. And her parents, unfortunately, were in complete denial about the whole thing. They ended up confronting her, but she freaked out. When she found out that we had brought it to their attention, she abandoned us as her friends even though we were trying to help.

A few weeks later, my friend ended up being taken to the hospital because her body was rejecting food. She was sent to rehab for pretty much the remainder of the school year. As hard as it was to see what happened to her, we were all so glad that she was getting the help she needed.

She made it through and now she’s back to her healthy self. Our friendship, however, didn’t quite make it. Every time I’ve seen her since then, we’re cordial and nice to each other. But we’re not friends anymore. It hurts because as her friends, we wanted to help her. I wish that our friendship had survived, but I’m so glad that she’s healthy and thriving. She seems really happy, and that’s honestly all I can ask for.

Have you ever had a friend who struggled with an eating disorder or addiction? What did you do? Tell us in the comments!
 
This post is written in partnership with Simon & Schuster and Letting Ana Go.
 

What should you do if you think your friend has an eating disorder?

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

Apparently taking Instagram photos of your food–like this pic I took of an Oreo waffle, which I was really excited about, can indicate a psychological problem. (But dude, an Oreo waffle?!) | Source: My Instagram

Taking Instagram pictures of food is so common that your Instagram feed is probably full of culinary delights all the time. But it turns out that taking Instagram photos of your food isn’t just sort of played out and boring to your pals, but it can also be a sign of psychological problems. Say what?!

A psychiatrist insists that Foodstagramming–taking Instagram photos of your food as you’re either cooking or eating it–isn’t just annoying (some restaurants have banned the practice), but also a sign of psychological issues surrounding food.

Dr. Valerie Taylor explained, “I see clients for whom food has become problematic, and they struggle to go out and not have food be the key element of all social interaction: what they eat, when they ate, when they are going to eat again. The concern becomes when all they do is send pictures of food,” she added. “We take pictures of things that are important to us, and for some people, the food itself becomes central and the rest-–the venue, the company, et cetera–is background.”

Translation? Taking Instagram photos of your food may mean you’re way too preoccupied with food as a whole and can be a sign of an eating disorder or a risk of obesity. Other studies have shown that staring at pictures of food online can make you overeat later!

So does Foodstagramming mean you’re destined for psychological problems and obesity? Not necessarily. But if you notice that more of your Instagram photos are of your food than of your friends (or even of yourself), you may want to rein it in and keep yourself in check. And if you think you have issues with food or obesity, you can get help here!

Have you ever taken Instagram photos of your food? Do you think Foodstagramming is a bad sign of psychological problems or obesity? Do you take Instagram photos of your food more than of your friends? Tell us in the comments!

You won’t believe what some people think will cure obesity!

And don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

Dr. Jennifer Thomas is taking a stand on “Almost Anorexia” in hopes that patients with subclinical eating disorders can get help. | Source: YouTube

Eating disorders, especially anorexia nervosa, are scary–and it turns out more girls may be suffering from disordered eating than a lot of people realize. There are a few reasons for this: One, many girls with eating disorders suffer in silence and don’t get treated, and two–a lot of girls come close to being diagnosed with disorders like anorexia or bulimia, but don’t quite fit all of the necessary criteria. As a result, these girls are in danger and sometimes can’t get access to help that they need because of technicalities.

In order to be diagnosed with anorexia or bulimia, patients need to be severely underweight (their BMI should be 17.5 or less), have an “intense” fear of gaining weight and vomit, count Calories or exercise way too much in order to stay or become thin. Patients also need to have a “body image disturbance.”

A lot of girls show one or more symptoms, but because they lack every single one, their options to help themselves before things spiral into a full blown bout of bulimia or anorexia are limited. And that’s really bad, because “almost anorexia” and “almost bulimia” can still kill you.

Dr. Jennifer Thomas, an expert on eating disorders, explained that having “almost anorexia” or “almost bulimia” can actually cause the same symptoms and side effects as the full blown disorders themselves, and that they affect about one in 20 people–as opposed to the one in 200 of full blown anorexia. Patients can have a low heart rate, low blood pressure, excess facial and body hair, and may feel cold all the time–as well as psychological effects like loneliness, depression and fatigue.

Yo-yo dieting, fluctuating weight, super restrictive food intake (think less than 1,200 Calories a day), binge eating, or compensating for Calories they’ve already eaten with laxatives or exercise are all signs of almost anorexia.

For more on “almost anorexia” and other subclinical eating disorders, check out Jennifer Thomas’ YouTube series about it here. If you suspect that you or a friend suffers from almost anorexia or any other eating disorder, get help here.

Do you or a friend suffer from anorexia or almost anorexia? Do you think that almost anorexia is more common than people realize? Have you or a friend ever sought help for an eating disorder? Tell us in the comments!

“Almost anorexia” isn’t the only new, undiagnosed eating disorder around!

And don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

Alessandra Ambrosio has a thigh gap and her pics are frequently used as “motivation.” | Source: Anton Oparin/ShutterStock

It wasn’t that long ago that thinspo and pro-anorexia memes, sayings and pictures were splashed all over the Internet (in fact, despite the attempt to ban thinspo, it’s definitely still around), but there’s already a new “weight loss” trend going around: the thigh gap. 

I’m not exactly sure when this started, but at some point, girls of all ages, shapes and sizes became obsessed with the idea of having a thigh gap. Never heard of it and wondering what I’m talking about? It’s exactly what it sounds like: a gap between your legs in the upper thigh area. Basically, your legs don’t touch together. Despite the fact that this is not an achievable goal for everyone, because all of our bodies are different, it’s become a serious trend and there are a lot of people who will do anything to get it.

Do a quick Google search of “thigh gap” and you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about. There are tons of Tumblr pages dedicated to thigh gaps that feature hundreds of pictures of thin girls whose legs don’t touch together. There are lots of fitness blogs and communities that feature how-to’s on getting a thigh gap – one website warns you to avoid exercises that increase your leg muscles like squats and lunges and to focus on cardio to make your thighs thinner. In fact, sometimes it seems like fitspo and thigh gaps go hand in hand.

Search the hashtage #thighgap on Instagram and you’ll see tons of pictures and even arguments on the subject. There’s a Twitter for model Cara Delevingne’s thigh gap with an info that goes like this: ”@CaraDelevingne works me out everyday so I can stay this perfect. Thanks mum ” The Daily Mail reported that some women are even getting liposuction to get rid of the excess fat on their thighs. The motivation to get a thigh gap seems to be everywhere.

Girls, what is going on?! Why are so many of us obsessed with the idea of a thigh gap? Psychotherapist Kimberly Moffit told The Toronto Sun that “It’s a way for young women to quantify their beauty and prove to themselves that they are attractive – especially if they don’t feel that way on the inside.”

Personally, I feel like this thigh gap trend is just another form of thinspo and I don’t think I’m wrong. Striving for the “perfect” thigh gap is unhealthy in the same way that thinspo is – both show how so many girls are enamored with their wish to be skinnier or the skinniest.

Here’s the thing with a thigh gap: some girls have it and some girls don’t, simple as that. And here’s something super important to remember: just because you don’t have a space between your legs doesn’t mean you’re overweight. There are tons of thin girls out there who don’t have thigh gaps. Excess fat on your legs or muscular thighs aren’t the only things that can cause a girl not to have a thigh gap – bone structure also plays a role.

Not convinced? Take a look at the images here. A thigh gap can depend on your hip bones – if you have wide hips, you’re more likely to have a thigh gap and if you have smaller hips, a thigh gap may not be a possibility. So dieting, starving yourself or doing excessive amounts of cardio exercises may never even help you if your hip bones are small enough.

If you have a thigh gap, great! I’m not trying to put anyone’s body down. And if you don’t have one, please don’t stress about it and please don’t do anything like extreme dieting or even surgery to get one. If you want to exercise and eat healthier to get healthy, that’s awesome. But whenever you’re dieting or exercising, your ultimate goal should always be to be healthy – not to be the skinniest girl in your class. There is nothing wrong with being skinny or thin, but that kind of thinking can lead to a scary eating disorder and we don’t want that for anyone.

I wish we could all learn to celebrate each other’s bodies no matter what shape or size we are. Until we can come to that point, let’s not focus on things that could be unrealistic for your body type just because you can’t go on Tumblr without seeing it.

What do you think about the thigh gap obsession? Is this something you strive to achieve? Do you think it’s the same as thinspo? Tell me in the comments.

What to do if you think your friend has an eating disorder

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter

Could your friend be showing warning signs of an eating disorder? Source: ShutterStock

This year, the week of February 24 – March 2 is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. The week is put on by the National Eating Disorders Association, an organization that is committed to supporting those affected by various eating disorders and educating people about eating disorders.

The theme for this year is “Everybody Knows Somebody,” and considering the statistic that 30 million men and women suffer from an eating disorder in their lifetime, it is indeed probably true that many of you could know somebody who has one.

Eating disorders can come in a variety of forms, which can make it a little confusing if you are concerned about a friend. That’s why being informed is very important. In addition to NEDA’s resources, Gurl has put together some statistics regarding eating disorders, and we also have addressed specific eating disorders, like anorexia nervosa and bulimia.

An eating disorder isn’t something you can tell from looking at someone, but the Center for Young Women’s Health lists some “red flags” for various forms of eating disorders. Some anorexia warning signs could include skipping meals and counting calories. For bulimia, some red flags could be if your friend is often dieting or going to the bathroom during meals.

Warning flags for binge eating disorder could include hoarding food or hiding wrappers. In any of these cases, the CYWH advises that you first share your concerns with an adult as some “red flags” could have other possible explanations.

Trusted adults can be a great resource to talk through what you may be noticing about your friend. If you’re confused or scared, you can seek out a trusted adult like a parent, coach or guidance counselor. NEDA also has the Helpline that you can call and explain the situation, and their volunteers may be able to offer some suggestions for next steps.

If you do discuss your concerns with your friend, the CYWH says it should be a private discussion and you should do some research on eating disorders so you feel informed and prepared. Don’t be accusatory, but instead focus on what you have noticed in the form of “I” statements.

This should be a supportive conversation where you show your your encouragement and love for this person, not a judgmental one or one where you bring up topics like food or weight. You should also be prepared that your friend may get defensive, as individuals with eating disorders could be in denial or have been trying to keep their behaviors from being exposed.

Although it is in the NEDA toolkit for parents, one point that I think would be especially important for young people to also keep in mind is that you shouldn’t promise your friend you won’t tell anyone if they admit to having an eating disorder. One of NEDA’s important points is this: “Eating disorders are illnesses, not lifestyle choices.” You aren’t expected to know how to treat a complex illness, but there are people out there who can help your friend on a path to recovery. What you can do is be a source of support through the process.

While we should try to keep eating disorders at the forefront of conversation throughout the year, this week is an especially a good time to take on the mission of the “Everybody Knows Somebody” campaign and spread awareness about eating disorders. They even have numerous resources for teens about what you can do in your community to get people talking about the seriousness of eating disorders. The more people who are informed, then the more supportive they can be if their friend is one in need.

Do you feel like you are well-informed about eating disorders? Have you ever been worried that a friend could have an eating disorder? What did you do? Tell us in the comments.

Find out how much you may already know about eating disorders here.

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter

Is Lego playing a role in the “War on Girlhood”–and on body image? | Source: ShutterStock

Here’s what’s up: A psychologist wrote a whole bunch on the war on girlhood here, but to sum it up for you, it comes down to this: A lot of things are being sold to us in the guise of making us “better,” but are actually just making us feel awful about ourselves. It’s also important to note that in this case “better” doesn’t mean “smarter,” “happier,” “more powerful,” or “healthier.” In the war on girlhood, “better” means “prettier.”

For example, a lot of the toys marketed to girls are designed as a really unattainable ideal. Have you ever seen an actual woman who, without the aid of a lot of bizarre, Big Ang-esque plastic surgery, looked like a Bratz Doll? Of course not. At our age, we obviously know that. And the creators of Bratz Dolls know that. They’re not meant to look realistic–they’re toys. Complaining about that is like getting mad when our cars don’t actually turn into Optimus Prime in real life. But! Because Bratz are sold to a younger group, that gets ingrained as normal to them.

Similarly, when Lego came out with their Heartlake City set designed for girls, people flipped out. The bricks were pink, there were lots of cupcakes but not any cops or firemen like in the regular sets. A little messed up, no? But Lego had actually done research, and that’s what little girls were buying–anything beauty related. So while it may not be the most feminist move, Lego did what any business would do and got in on the action. You can’t necessarily fault Lego for that, can you? (Though we’re not sure why they couldn’t have a cop with a ponytail or something. C’mon, people!)

Research finds that girlhood is being threatened by the beauty obsession, and it’s happening more often and earlier than ever. Eating disorders are up, and we’re obsessed with being perceived as hot or pretty even before we’re at the age when we actually want to make out with anyone. (While there’s no question that body image issues are a problem, eating disorder numbers may just look like they’re up because more people are seeking help now, which is a good thing.)

Basically, it’s hard to point fingers at any one person or entity for the war on girlhood and the reason why our body images are suffering as a result. It’s sort of a chicken or the egg argument : Do businesses shove lip gloss andlabiaplasty down our throats because they’re evil or because we want it? And do we want it because they’re telling us to or because we just like to look nice? And conversely, doesn’t looking good make you feel better?

The war on girlhood is a tough one to win, because it’s unclear who we’re fighting: the media for making us insecure? Advertisers? Ourselves for buying into it and thereby encouraging it to continue?

The best way to combat the war on girlhood is to enjoy being you–whether or not what you’re into is “girly.” (Who defines that anyway?) Instead of focusing on looking perfect, focusing on looking like you (because you’re rad). Focus on your health and the way you feel more than how you look. And remember: You’re amazing and smart and you have an awesome future ahead of you. That’s beautiful. Everything else is just extra sprinkles on the sundae.

Do you think there’s a war on girlhood going on? Have you felt pressure to look perfect? Tell us in the comments!

This game may aid in the battle to save girlhood!

And don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

Source: Shutterstock

I went shopping with this new friend of mine a few weeks ago, and there was a really long line, so I offered to stand on line while she finished picking out some cute new socks. When she joined me in line, she asked what I was getting.

I showed her this adorable skirt I’d found, but instead of saying she liked it or anything, she just grabbed the tag and stared at it.

“Size TWO?! You’re a size TWO?!,” she said. “I don’t know if you know this about me, but I used to be anorexic, and even then I was a size 7!,” she continued, finally shouting, “God, I can’t believe you’re a size 2. That’s like, not right.”

What the hell? What’s not right is her trying to make me feel bad about the size I naturally am! It’s not like I’d been hiding my body in a garbage bag. Homegirl knows how big I am just from being around me–and it’s not that I’m really skinny, either. I’m way shorter than her. And um, why so much drama about my body size and her body size and whatever. Girlfriend needs to get a grip.

Has anybody ever tried to make you feel bad about your body shape–whether you’re big or not so big? Tell me about it in the comments!

Should You Worry About Your BF’s girl friends?

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

If you’re on a diet, you wouldn’t be eating pizza. If you’re eating right, you’d be balancing it with the veggies! | Source: Shutterstock

It all depends on how you look at it. Obviously, no one should feel badly enough about their bodies to go on a diet as a means of achieving some impossible standard set by magazines and the media of how girls should look. But–and this is a big but (and we cannot lie)–the obesity epidemic in America is crazy serious, so it also depends on the circumstances in which someone goes on a diet.

If it turns out if you’re actually overweight, your parents are probably nervous about talking to you about eating right or going on a diet because they don’t want to lower your self-esteem or trigger an eating disorder. While that’s smart thinking, because eating disorders are bad news bears and an epidemic growing almost as fast (if not faster) than obesity, enabling overeating is also dangerous, because it’s setting you up for problems later on.

A good idea if your folks are nervous to broach the topic of eating right or going on a diet? Bring them with you and talk to your doctor about getting your healthy habits in gear. Your doc can help you both set realistic expectations, and if your parents know that you’re trying to eat right, they’ll be more likely to help you. And if they sense that you’re going on a diet that seems too strict or serious, they’ll already be clued in to sweep in and help you.

Knowing you’re on your way to eating right will also help your parents when they food shop. If you only have healthy food around, chances are that’s what you’ll munch on. Because let’s be honest–usually when we eat junk food, it’s because we’re sorta too lazy to make or grab anything else, right? It’s always the kind of stuff that’s … there.

Eating right is essentially eating food that’s good for you, with a ton of nutritional value, as opposed to–as delicious as they are–Cheetos, cookies, and fries all the time. Going on a diet usually entails deprivation of some kind–like not eating altogether or limiting yourself to only eating one type of food. And that kinda sucks, doesn’t it?

But eating right doesn’t necessarily close you off or ban you from eating stuff you like. It just means eating stuff you like in moderation or sometimes preparing it a little bit differently–but just as deliciously.

Screw going on a diet. Eating right looks delish! | Source: Shutterstock

Eating right makes you look at food as fuel, because what you eat has a big impact on how you feel. A lot of times when you eat something big, heavy, or greasy you feel kinda blah and food coma-ish, right? But when you nosh on an apple or two, you’re pretty pepped up. Same idea. Think about it: If you have a Corvette, you’re probably not gonna fill it with regular, are ya? So think of your bod as a machine: what you fill it with makes it run differently. If you fill it with greasy fried stuff all the time, your engine’s gonna have to work harder. If you don’t fill it at all (like if you’re on a diet that’s stupid-strict), you’re going to run out of gas and get stuck. If you fill it with good stuff like fruits, veggies, protein, and vitamins (and the occasional treat) by eating right, you’re gonna be revved up and ready to go.

Are you on a diet that restricts certain foods? Is eating right difficult or easy once you start? What’s your favorite snack or meal recipe? Tell us in the comments!

Did You Know It Used To Be More Fashionable To Be Curvy?

The Vogue Health Initiative is protecting models--and will benefit fashion fans like you, too. |

We love love love that Vogue, possibly the most influential name in the entire fashion world, is encouraging healthy body image within its pages, just like how the Model Alliance is encouraging the same healthy body image and good working conditions on runways.

Another important development from Vogue that we adore? The magazine now requests that designers not send such small sample sizes of their wares, that way healthier models can actually fit into the clothes. We think this makes a whole lot of sense, and that it’ll actually be beneficial for the designers themselves. Think about it: If the purpose of models is to sell your clothes, shouldn’t they look a bit more like the person who’s going to be buying them later? Who wants to buy a dress that was modeled by someone who looks sick?

Runway and print models are reforming their business practices to encourage healthy body image and a safe work environment. | ShutterStock

A lot of designers like models who are tall and super thin to the point of looking really unhealthy. This is because their designs, which they view as art, hang better on them. But that’s the thing–women aren’t hangers, and we’re generally not supposed to look like them, either. Clothing shouldn’t hang. It should fit. By Vogue enforcing these standards, designers may be more likely to make clothes that will look good on healthy, normal women and girls–and therefore more healthy, normal women and girls can wear it on the runway and off.

Of course, that’s not to say that Vogue may not take those healthier models and airbrush them down to an impossibly unhealthy size. But since we know what they started out looking like, maybe now all that Photoshop won’t give us the wrong idea.

Do you think the Vogue Health Initiative is a good idea? Do you think it’s important for models to have normal body image? Do you think Vogue’s Health Initiative will encourage healthy body image and cooperation from fashion designers? Tell us in the comments!

Tumblr Took A Stand Against Thinspiration, Too! Did You Hear?

Ever felt a little bummed about your body? Um, yeah, we’ve ALL been there. The body image blues are a very real and very tough part of being a girl. And probably of being a boy. Maybe even of being an alien. But, we’re talking about girls here. Meg is here with 5 amazingly helpful ways to focus on what your body can do, instead of what it looks like. With Meg’s advice, you’re going to feel a whole lot better about the skin you’re in.

Do you have issues with your body image? Tell me all about how you deal in the comments.

Feeling A Bit Jealous Of A Friend? Here’s How To Deal.