Gurl.com » drama

9 Ways To Get His Friends To Like You

Meg Malone — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 21:00:49 +0000

By now the Internet has officially adopted the name “Haylor” to refer to the duo of Taylor Swift and Harry Styles, and based on pictures of the duo, they seem pretty cute and happy. However, the non-Harry members of One Direction are allegedly a little miffed that Harry is off hanging with the country pop princess and kind of leaving them out.

Of course, the only ones who know what’s totally up is Taylor Swift, Harry Styles and the other four-fifths of One Direction, but it brings up an important relationship topic. When you start dating a guy, you start dating his world a little bit too. You can usually put off meeting the family until you’re a little more comfortable, but meeting his friends is bound to happen pretty darn quick. Just like we can get a little territorial about our friends when they introduce a new person into the mix, his friends can feel the same way.

The fact is that both you and his friends love hanging out with your boyfriend, so it’s important to make sure you are respected as the new girlfriend, but also that his friends aren’t cast aside. We’ve come up with some dos and dont’s to help you stay on the good side of your boyfriend’s friends – and hey, hopefully you’ll get to make some new friends in the process!

Do Respect Guy Time

Allegedly Harry chose to fly to London with Taylor, rather than in the company of his band mates. Now, Harry did choose to hang with Taylor, so we're not faulting her. We're just saying his friends may not appreciate if you interrupt what they see as guy time. Don't expect him to hang out with you every waking moment, and if your guy has plans with his friends, don't be constantly checking in. His friends will appreciate that you trust your BF and you respect their time together.

Source: TNYF/WENN.com

Do Be Social

It can be a little awkward to hang out with his friends if you don't know them well, but do your best to not just sit there. It can give off the impression that you're bored or disinterested and that isn't a good vibe to send to his friends or to get you future invites with the whole crew. Just be your usual awesome, funny self and you'll get more comfortable in no time!

Source: Shutterstock.com

Don't Try To Get All Their Inside Jokes

While you should definitely be social, don't try to overtake the situation. The inside jokes and stories he shares with his friends have a history. If you start acting like you get them or trying to one-up all their stories, that could annoy them or make them uncomfortable, which you don't want to do. Plus, you shouldn't feel like you have to change yourself to be just like one of them anyway. It's about getting to know the real you and creating your own inside jokes with them.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Do Invite Them Along

Don't just wait around for them to invite you places — make the suggestion yourself! One-on-one dates are awesome, but there's a lot of things you do as a duo that his friends can join in on. Do you really need to watch a movie just you two? Let his friends come along and ease their worries that you're trying to keep him away from them. Plus, your friends are pretty great too, so invite them along and let everyone mingle and spark some new friendships (or maybe even romances!).

Source: Shutterstock.com

Don't Make Them Uncomfortable

Now, if you DO invite them along, don't suddenly resent them for being there or act like they're invisible. Engaging in over-the-top PDA or not acknowledging them is basically just as bad as excluding them from the get go. If a night out with you guys turns into them feeling like an unnecessary third wheel, they'll probably not want to hang out with you two again, which could lead to a divide or resentment.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Don't Judge Their Interests

Close friends do weird things when they are together. You probably do it too. Judging their activities though is a straight ticket to trouble. Maybe you don't get why they have to do certain sports rituals or why they like certain TV shows, but the worst thing you can do is to act like it's stupid. Make an effort to understand it, but if it's not your thing, that's totally fine. Just let it be their thing.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Do Try To Make Them Your Friends

Just because your boyfriend is the link between you doesn't mean that should be the only topic of conversation. Only talking about your boyfriend can get old pretty quick, but talking about the history class you take with his friend is a way for you to bond over things besides your boyfriend. Being able to consider them your friends rather than just your boyfriend's friends will make for a closer relationship.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Do Bring Something To Share

In my experience, food is a great icebreaker. What sort of hang out doesn't get better with a snack? Plus it shows that you thought about the well being of the people you're about to see. You don't have to make a five course meal, but contributing some snacks when you see the gang is a great way to be remembered as an awesome addition to the group.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Don't Make Him Choose

If you give your BF a "me or them" ultimatum, it's only a matter of time before his friends find out and that won't go over well. If you feel like you're not getting quality time with the BF, it's totally valid to talk about it - just be very careful to not phrase it in a way that undermines his friendships. That said, if you feel like his friends don't respect you, he should be willing to stand up for you. His friends shouldn't be the only important relationship he values.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Have you ever had a problem with the friends of your new boyfriend? What other advice do you have about getting along with his friends? Tell us in the comments!

My Guy Best Friend’s Girlfriend Doesn’t Want Us Being Friends

And don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

How To Avoid Family Drama Over The Holidays

Meg Malone — Wed, 21 Nov 2012 21:00:22 +0000

Spending a large period of time with your family on Thanksgiving can be both awesome and exhausting. Between keeping the peace, avoiding awkwardness and keeping everything under control, it almost seems like there’s no time left for fun stuff like eating, watching football and taking a well-deserved break from everyday life. Even if you feel like you’re the only one getting anxious about potential family drama when everyone gathers together this Thanksgiving, take comfort in the fact that we can all learn a thing or two from some of our celebrity friends about how to minimize our family drama with some simple actions.

Make Time For Mom

A break from school means a lot of time to hang out with friends, but don't forget to carve out some time for mom in the mix, like Justin Bieber did when he brought his mom to the AMAs. She works hard for you, so be sure to share special time with her and show her how thankful you are for everything.

Source: Apega/WENN.com

Laugh Off Dad

You've seen it in the movies - clueless dads who don't always know everything going on with their daughters. When Miley Cyrus' dad said she was apparently having multiple weddings, girl didn't sweat it and just set the record straight (just one wedding, people). Dads get confused sometimes. Don't dwell on it and just enjoy their goofiness.

Source: WENN.com

Be A Sibling Dream Team

Sibling rivalry happens, but it can be a damper on making the most of quality family time. Instead of competing with each other when you're together, don't forget your siblings can also be your friends (and some of the best ones at that!). I mean, just look how bright Jessica and Ashlee Simpson shine hanging out at this event together!

Source: Cousart/JFXimages/WENN.com

Family Members Still Like Privacy

People have been following Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart closely in recent months, from a cheating revelation, to being seen back together, to "Breaking Dawn - Part 2" premiering. Still, their life as a couple isn't really any of our business. Don't subject family members who may have gone through a romantic shake-up since you last saw them to the third degree. Even among family, it's okay to let some things stay private.

Source: Patrick Hoffmann/WENN.com

Skip The Politics

Just because people are at the same family party, doesn’t mean they belong to the same political party. Talking politics with loved ones can can sometimes get highly emotional and lead to an awkward aftermath. You might want to take a cue from Taylor Swift (who refused to talk about who she was voting for in the presidential election) and save the politics talk for a different time.

Source: Dan Jackman./WENN.com

Don't Sweat The Critics

Family often wants the best for us, but can also be harsh critics (even if they don't mean to be). Whether someone makes a judgy comment about your new haircut or your choice of classes, try to keep model Kate Upton in mind. Despite some people criticizing her weight, she's instead focused the conversation on things like being healthy, having confidence and being psyched about fashion. Family critiques sting, but try to remember it's really about making sure you're happy with you.

Source: Jeff Grossman/WENN.com

Treat Your Guests Well

Those on Rihanna's 777 plane have a whole lot of cool perks, but the Internet's also been buzzing a bit with how things are maybe a little different than those on board expected. If you're hosting, definitely take a note from Rihanna and try to give your guests a great experience, but also keep yourself in check and make sure that among the razzle dazzle, they're all still enjoying themselves.

Source: Carsten Windhorst/WENN.com

How do you avoid and/or deal with family drama on Thanksgiving (or at any family event)? Let us know in the comments!

“What You Really Think When You’re Giving Thanks”

Follow us on Twitter!

Frenemies: How I Got Stuck In The Middle

Tori DeRosa — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 23:00:13 +0000

Art & Story by Tori DeRosa

I Wish I Knew All The Drama Didn’t Matter

Emerald Pellot — Thu, 14 Jun 2012 16:00:08 +0000

Are BFFs supposed to fight like Blair and Serena? | source: WENN

It was right around the time Missy Elliot came out with the song “Get UR Freak On” that Martha made me cry. (If you haven’t seen the video, you need to!) It was during recess in junior high, she and our four friends were having lunch in the classroom. I mentioned that I loved the song and Martha replied, “Ew you like Missy Elliot! I heard she’s a lesbian!” I said, “So? Do you have a problem with gay people?” She said, without hesitation, “Yeah, I hate gay people. They’re gross. They’re going to hell.”

The rest of my friends were just silent. “Well, that’s discrimination. You’re prejudiced,” I said expecting my friends to chime in and defend me, but no one did. Why weren’t they backing me up?

Later I figured out it was because they agreed. They agreed with her. That was the first day in my whole 11 ½ years alive that I had heard about this—this homophobia. It was just OK to hate? It blew my mind. I cried at home because it made no sense. (It still doesn’t.) I was glad I stood up to her, but because I did rumors naturally floated around that I must be a lesbian. I totally got Janis Ian’ed by Regina George. It sucked. Not even because my friends were talking about me, but because I didn’t even want to be friends with my friends anymore. It was devastating. The next three years were awful. I pretty much just stopped talking to anyone.

When junior high was over we all went to different high schools—I never saw any of them again. I made new friends, but you know what? When I graduated high school I never saw any of my brand new high school friends again, either! All of the gossip, fights, and silent treatments—none of those things mattered because they don’t! Junior high and high school are just a couple of chapters in your epic novel of a life. Everything feels so big and heavy and important and URGENT because they’re the people you see every single day and have to deal with. In the end, there isn’t a single fight I had with a friend that altered the course of my future. I learned some lessons, I made some mistakes, but that’s growing up. The school hallways though, that’s just melodrama. College on the other hand—now that’s a different story.

Are you constantly dealing with school drama? Let us know in the comments!

And don’t forget to Follow Us On Twitter

Next check out The Real Cure For A Queen Bee-Yotch

How To Deal With Being Bullied

Gurl — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 21:00:20 +0000

If you’re having regular run ins with your local mean girl, or worse, mean girls, then you know how crappy it can feel to be bullied. Meg’s here to help you out. She has tips on how to protect yourself from bullying, where to get help, and how to put the bullying in perspective. Watch and remember, this bullying won’t be forever. Take care of yourself and get the help you need.

Have you ever been bullied or are you being bullied now? How do you deal, and what do you think could help the situation? Tell us in the comments!

Don’t Fit In? Here’s How To Deal.

Hey You: A Note For Girls Dealing With Crappy Drama (And Who Isn’t?!)

Melanie Abrahams — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 21:00:01 +0000

i am depressed

Two facts: 1) Life is crazy hard sometimes. 2) You are strong.

Hey You,

I know sometimes things are actually beyond sucksville. Even if you’re putting on a brave face in public–at home or in the bathroom stall or wherever you can be alone–life can seem so unbearable that it feels like you could just dissolve with frustration and anger.

That whole nauseated, wanting to throw stuff, but then realizing even that won’t help anything feeling? Been there.

Which brings me to my main point: no matter how terrible things are, please please know that you are not alone in this.

We've all felt this way.

If you ever, even for a minute, think there’s no one to turn to, take a deep breath and try to remember that all of us girls (even grown up girls) are dealing with or have dealt with something that seems way bigger than us–it’s just that we all deal with it in our own ways so you can’t always tell.

The truth is that someone else (and probably a lot of someone elses) has gone through crap very similar to what you’re going through right now and made it out on the other side, super glad that she did.

We can't give cupcakes so much credit.

It might sound totally impossible, but you (smart, brave, fantastic you is still in there somewhere, I know it!) can get through this–and you don’t have to do it alone. If you can’t talk to your parents or friends, or it seems like nobody’s really hearing you, you can still get help. If you or someone you care about is up against something overwhelming, you can get help from a counselor at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, anytime day or night.

You’re absolutely not alone and there are so many of us who believe in you. I can’t say that everything will ever be totally perfect (that’s not what life is), but it won’t be this bad forever. Pinky swear.

With love (and strength),
Your editors at Gurl

Have you ever survived something super hard? Tell us about it in the comments.

If a friend is saying scary or suicidal things on Facebook, here’s what you should do.

i am depressed

Video: See How the Wizards of Harry Potter Deal with Drama

Gurl — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 16:54:54 +0000

are you a Ginny kinda gURL?

With Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 out on DVD April 15th, the cast is pumped — and so are we.

We sat down with the ~~wizards~~ cast of the movie to talk about bullying, dating, and all of the drama that comes with growing up and being different.

See the video below to see how they deal with haters:

|Talk about all of your dramz on the Shout Out Boards!|

Which Harry Potter character is your fave? Who do you think gives the best advice? Discuss in the comments!

more ways to get gURLy:

Pearls of wisdom, survey q’s, polls, quotes to live by — it’s all on gURL.com’s Twitter. Follow us!
Luv gURL? Then ‘Like’ us, too! Let’s be friends on Facebook and you’ll get first looks at stories!
Can’t get enough of gURL.com? We don’t blame you. Sign up for our weekly newsletter!
Let’s talk. Shout Out advice, music, politics, poetry, your style and MORE!
Your hook on hooking up: gURL’s sex, health & relationships blog.
Need some advice, quick? Ask Heather anything; she answers three q’s, daily!
Bored? Take new quizzes and play gURL games!

jenelle from teen mom 2 beats up a gURL. have you ever gotten into a fist fight?

Gurl — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 16:19:13 +0000

are you team jenelle?

In case Teen Mom 2‘s Jenelle Evans didn’t have enough drama in her life with her mother and baby Jace, the MTV star was videotaped beating up another gURL.

|Are you a teen mom? Get support, love, and advice from other gURLs on the Shout Out Boards!|

Says Pop Eater, Jenelle “is now under investigation by North Carolina’s Brunswick County Sheriff’s Department after a video of the young mom savagely attacking another girl hit the web. Jenelle was reportedly furious because she believed the woman had been flirting with her boyfriend.”

Do you feel bad for the gURL? Have you ever gotten into a physical fight? What happened? Share your thoughts and stories below.

more ways to get gURLy:

Pearls of wisdom, survey q’s, polls, quotes to live by — it’s all on gURL.com’s Twitter. Follow us!
Luv gURL? Then ‘Like’ us, too! Let’s be friends on Facebook and you’ll get first looks at stories!
Can’t get enough of gURL.com? We don’t blame you. Sign up for our weekly newsletter!
Let’s talk. Shout Out advice, music, politics, poetry, your style and MORE!
Your hook on hooking up: gURL’s sex, health & relationships blog.
Need some advice, quick? Ask Heather anything; she answers three q’s, daily!
Bored? Take new quizzes and play gURL games!

I’m Not Popular, Heather! Can I Get a Prom Date?

Heather — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 19:57:56 +0000

must we still expect him to do everything!?

Hi Heather,

As most high school seniors know, prom is coming up. I’ve not always been the most “popular” girl ever, but I really want someone to ask me. I’m friends with this guy I really want to go with, but I’m not sure if he even wants to go to prom. How can I get a prom date?

Being popular might make it easier to snag a date, but it doesn’t mean that you won’t get asked. But I have to ask you, why can’t you be the one to ask? Why do you care about being asked? The way your question was worded makes me worry. While it’s natural to stress out about a prom date, it almost seems that you feel that being asked to prom would give you some sort of validation of some level of your popularity; that somehow, you’re going to have more fun, or climb higher up the ranks of your school’s hierarchy because you got asked.

|Want to know who you’ll go to prom with? Well, we don’t have a crystal ball, but this new quiz will definitely help!|

Here’s the thing (as I’m sure you know already — after all, you’re nearly done with high school and have lived and breathed it for the past 4 years): popularity is not worth. Popularity is not validity. Popularity is not personality, talent, personal-strength nor is it, in any way, a judge of your character, looks, intelligence or value.

So I ask again, why do you care if you get asked to prom? In my opinion, prom should be about having fun. If you think this boy will be the one you could have the best time with, I totally think you should bring it up. Maybe he’s too shy. Or maybe he’s on the fence and looking for a good excuse to go. Maybe he isn’t planning on going but would change his mind if you were in the picture. But the point is, don’t wait for other people to plan your destiny. Take it into your own hands and control your own happiness.

|If all else fails, at least you know that you can ALWAYS Make Your Own Prom Night on gURL!|

I’ll admit, I really wanted a guy to ask me to senior prom, and I dropped what I thought were hints, but he didn’t ask and ended up taking some random gURL. I went with my BFF (a gURL too) only to find out at the after-prom that he really wanted to ask me but was too nervous. I look back and think, dang, all I had to do was woman up and stop dropping hints and just ask him. Casually, cooly, in a way that didn’t seem like I was too excited. Something like “Hey Nick, I don’t know if you’ve figured out your prom plans or not, but don’t you think we would have a lot of fun if we went together?” Nerve wracking, yes. But worth the few moments of awkwardness for a night of fun and a lifetime of memories knowing that I was confident enough to put myself out there? Totally.

If he doesn’t agree, it’s OK, he’s not the ONLY person you’ll have fun with! But realize that you’re awesome no matter how popular you might be at your school and that anyone you go with is lucky to share those memories with you. And you to them! Enjoy this special time as much as you can and don’t forget to shred up that dance floor.

|Planning on drinking at prom? Or ever? Well, we’re not scaring you, but you should read this first.|

gURLs, have you ever asked someone out to a school dance? Successes, failures, whatever — Tell me below!

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com.

more ways to get gURLy:

Pearls of wisdom, survey q’s, polls, quotes to live by — it’s all on gURL.com’s Twitter. Follow us!
Luv gURL? Then ‘Like’ us, too! Let’s be friends on Facebook and you’ll get first looks at stories!
Can’t get enough of gURL.com? We don’t blame you. Sign up for our weekly newsletter!
Let’s talk. Shout Out advice, music, politics, poetry, your style and MORE!
Your hook on hooking up: gURL’s sex, health & relationships blog.
Need some advice, quick? Ask Heather anything; she answers three q’s, daily!
Bored? Take new quizzes and play gURL games!

gURL runs over cousin b/c of a facebook friend request

Gurl — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 18:44:24 +0000

does facebook ever make you feel crazy?

How upset would you be if your crush accepted your cousin’s friend request but not yours? Enough to almost kill her?

|A gURL is sick of her own Facebook drama. Heather to the rescue!|

Reports say Melanie Spanopoulos drove over Giselle Penagos–her own cousin–and left her helpless in the middle of a busy road on a freezing night. The two were fighting because a guy on Facebook accepted Giselle’s friend request but not Melanie’s.

Luckily, the victim was found and was able to get emergency surgery to fix a broken leg and a shattered pelvis. Melanie is being charged with assault and was released on $10,000 bail.

|Did you know one in five divorces involve Facebook?|

Have you ever gotten into a really bad fight over something that happened online? Do you regret it? Share your story.

-gURL

more ways to get gURLy:

Pearls of wisdom, survey q’s, polls, quotes to live by — it’s all on gURL.com’s Twitter. Follow us!
Luv gURL? Then ‘Like’ us, too! Let’s be friends on Facebook and you’ll get first looks at stories!
Can’t get enough of gURL.com? We don’t blame you. Sign up for our weekly newsletter!
Let’s talk. Shout Out advice, music, politics, poetry, your style and MORE!
Your hook on hooking up: gURL’s sex, health & relationships blog.
Need some advice, quick? Ask Heather anything; she answers three q’s, daily!
Bored? Take new quizzes and play gURL games!