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My Crush Is Being Mean To Me – Does That Mean He Likes Me?

Heather — Mon, 03 Jun 2013 20:00:51 +0000

Hi Heather,

I went on a few dates with this guy I really like and we’ve hooked up a few times. But now I’m scared that he might be using me just to hook up. He’s also been trying to get with my best friend! Whenever we hang out, he won’t stop talking to me about how she is better at me in swimming and how she is a runner and I just bench warm for the volleyball team. I know that people say that when a guy is mean to you, that means he likes you… well, is that true? He compliments me sometimes but he also says nicer things about my friend. I just don’t know what to think. Help!

Two words: run away. Seriously. This guy sounds like a jerk and you deserve to be treated waaaayyy better than this.

I’m not surprised that you’ve heard that when guys are mean to you, that means they like you. I think we were all told this when we were little kids – whenever a boy was picking on you at school and you complained about it to an adult, he/she probably said something along those lines. Here’s the thing, though: while this is sometimes true for very young, immature boys with a little crush, it’s not true for older dudes who really do have feelings for you.

Yes, your average teen boy full of hormones who doesn’t know how to deal with feelings may tease you or bully you a little bit if he likes you. But he most likely wouldn’t take it this far, especially if he’s already hung out with you and hooked up with you. This isn’t harmless and annoying teasing to try to get your attention – this is being genuinely mean, rude and insensitive and it’s not cool.

It sounds like this guy is way too immature to handle any sort of relationship right now. He’s into hooking up with you, but it doesn’t seem like he wants anything more than that. It also sounds like he has a crush on your best friend and it’s totally not okay for him to keep rubbing this in your face. If he likes your BFF, he never should have hooked up with you in the first place. Also, he shouldn’t be telling you about it and he definitely shouldn’t be comparing you two! That is NOT okay. He’s acting like a jerk and not a jerk who just doesn’t know how to tell you he likes you – he’s a jerk who thinks he can treat you however he wants.

So, here’s what I think you should do: stop talking to and hanging out with this guy ASAP. You don’t deserve to be compared to your best friend by a dude who knows you have feelings for him. When a guy likes you, he’s not going to purposely make you feel bad about yourself (unless he’s 12-years-old). He’s going to go out of his way to talk to you, hang out with you and make you feel good all the time. If a guy is into you, he’s not going to tell you he thinks your best friend is hot. Plain and simple. Let this dude go and find someone who will give you the respect you deserve.

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

Scared to have sex? Read this now!

10 Tips On How To Play Hard To Get

Jessica Booth — Sat, 01 Jun 2013 23:00:21 +0000

Trying to get your crush to notice you and become your boyfriend or girlfriend? Maybe it’s time for a nice little game of playing hard to get. Don’t roll your eyes: it’s actually been proven that playing hard to get works. That’s because everyone enjoys a little bit of a chase – when things come to quickly to us, it’s boring. But when we have to work to get something we want, it’s more exciting, especially when it comes to romantic relationships.

Before you commit to this idea, keep in mind that playing hard to get is a totally different ball game than plain old flirting. Playing hard to get is all about staying mysterious and playing mind games. While I would normally tell you girls to be honest about your feelings and to go after what you want, this advice is going to be a little different. It might sound a little out-dated and kind of annoying. And to be honest, playing hard to get can be really difficult – acting like you don’t care when you actually do is tough! But, hey, a lot of people swear by it, so you might as well give it a try, right? Read on for 10 tips on how to play hard to get:

Don't Focus On Meeting Someone

In other words, don't be desperate to be in a relationship. First of all, that's only going to make you feel kind of miserable and second of all, people can sense desperation and... it's not the most attractive quality out there. There's no reason to focus on when you're going to meet your next boyfriend. When it's supposed to happen, it will happen. Until then, just focus on you.

Be Confident

I feel like I write this at least one a day, but dudes dig confidence. Actually, people in general dig confidence. And being confident and strong is a huge part of playing hard to get. You want to make this person like you and one way to do that is by being confident that you're awesome enough to be chased after. You know what I mean?

Be Vague When Talking To Him

Don't go into full detail whenever you're chatting with your crush - leaving out some stuff will make you seem a little bit more mysterious, which is another huge part of the hard to get game. When you don't give everything away, it will make him want to - and need to - try harder to get to know you better. For example, if he says, "How was your weekend?" be like, "It was fun, I hung out with some friends." Don't be like, "It was awesome, I woke up late, went to the mall, had lunch with my mom..." Get it? He'll be left wondering who exactly "some friends" were and what you guys did.

Wait A While Before Answering

If he texts you, don't send your answer literally five seconds afterwards. Even if you really were sitting around waiting for your phone to go off, you want it to seem like you're too busy doing other stuff to answer. There's no need to wait, like, three hours before giving a response, but make him sweat it out for about 30 minutes. He'll start wondering what you're doing and why you're not answering and that's sort of intriguing.

Say No Sometimes

I hate, hate, hate the "three day rule," but I do agree that sometimes you need to say no when a guy asks you out. If you two have hung out twice already in one week and he asks what you're doing Saturday, be like, "Oh, I can't, I already have plans." Saying no makes him realize that he's not the center of your world and it makes him wait a little, which will just up the excitement of getting together. Plus, it's a benefit for you too: it lets you have a life of your own!

Don't Go Too Far Too Fast

There's nothing wrong with having hooking up on a first date and I'm definitely not trying to shame anyone who's done it. But if you're looking to play hard to get, then your strategy is that you want to leave him wanting more. So, instead of going all the way right away, tease him a little bit. Draw things out and take things slow. Not only will this drive him crazy (in a good way), but it will also help you guys get to know each other better before you do the deed.

Don't Tell Him How You Feel

What I really mean here is be coy. Let this guy know you're into him subtly, but don't say it outright right away. Make him wonder how you really feel. I almost always encourage you guys to be honest and so this is kind of hard for me to write. But a lot of guys out there like a chase and this will be part of giving them one.

Flirt With Others A Little Bit

Be careful with this one. You don't want to go overboard on the flirting - so, probably not a good idea to be cuddling on the couch with a random guy right in front of your crush. Instead, flirt more subtly when he's around or you know he's watching. Giggle at what someone else says or touch their arm when talking. Tiny gestures like these are something he may notice and it might end up making him a little jealous.

Don't Be Too Cold

This is pretty important. There's a fine line between playing hard to get and just being really cold and stand-offish. You want this guy to chase you, but you don't want to make him think you're not interested at all. Don't ignore him completely, give him only one word answers, make out with other guys right in front of him or refuse every date. Just be wary of pushing him away too far. Ugh, this is so complicated.

Do Your Own Thing

Remember how I said before that you shouldn't seem too desperate? This is similar - you should live your own life! Show him that you don't need him to be happy. Hang with your friends, pursue your interests even if they're not his interests and be confident about it. He'll like that you're independent and not clingy.

Are you good at playing hard to get? Quiz it!

Do you ever play hard to get? Do you think it works? Are you going to try any of these tips? Tell me in the comments!

I don’t want to hook up, but I feel pressured to – help!

Straight Talk With Shallon: Why Won’t My Friend With Benefits Date Me?

Shallon Lester — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 20:00:48 +0000

Is this how your FWB makes you feel?
Source: Shutterstock

Dear Shallon,

There’s this guy who is my “friend with benefits” and I feel like he likes me but he just won’t ask me out–is he shy or what? Why won’t he take things to the next level?

–Stephanie

Dear So Not Getting It Steph,

He’s not asking you out because… why would he? I hate the old adage “Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free,” but it’s really true. Why would he ask you out when you’re giving him sex (or maybe BJ’s or whatever it is) with ZERO effort on his part?

Here’s the thing: to a guy, a girl falls into one of three categories:

1. Girlfriend (or girl you’d like to seriously date)

Don’t get mad, get smart about what a category you’re in!Source: Shutterstock

2. Friend (or girl you have no sexual attraction to)

3. Booty call (girl who you’re sexually attracted to but there isn’t anything else)

So, if you’ve locked yourself into the Booty Call category, you’re stuck. It may seem like he like likes you, but he doesn’t. He likes the fact that you hook up with him. And he knows that he needs to turn on the charm to ensure that that keeps happening.

Basically, write this guy off as a dude you want to date. In fact, NEVER, EVER become a FWB with a boy you’re legit interested in–it’s never going to transition to that, I don’t care what some lame episode of Girls tells you. That total BS will drive you slowly insane.

Instead, pick a hot, fun guy to be your hookup buddy. Get your sexual energy out on him so that when you do meet a BF-quality boy, you’re not overrun with hormones and put out too soon. But the biggest bit of advice I can give is that putting out DOES NOT MAKE A GUY LIKE YOU. In fact, if a boy wants to seriously date you, giving it up ASAP whenever he wants tells him that you’re just a good-time girl and not looking for a relationship.

I’m not opposed to having a side piece–if I’m at all semi-decent in bed it’s because of my college FWB!–but lying to yourself about what you really want from the guy is only going to break your heart!

XOXO,

Shallon

Want me to give you advice? Feel free to leave your love Qs in the comments or drop me an email to AskShallon@gmail.com and follow me on Twitter and Instagram @ShallonX O

Ask A Guy: I Get Jealous When My Boyfriend Talks About Other Girls – How Do I Deal?

Ethan Fixell — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 22:00:16 +0000

How to stop being jealous

Dear Ethan,

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost eight months. His friends happen to be friends of mine also, so when we all hang out, sometimes I’ll end up being the only girl. Many times, all the guys begin to talk about girls from their past and girls who they think are hot. Sometimes my boyfriend chimes in and talks about other girls. It just really bugs me because I’m very insecure about myself and even though I know that he wouldn’t hurt me, I still feel hurt when he talks about other girls. I constantly try to tell myself, “it’s fine, he loves you, who cares if he thinks another girl is hot?” but then it just doesn’t work and I still end up getting hurt. I just want to know how to be happy with him all the time, even if he talks about another girl.

Before offering any advice, I want to point out that there’s a difference between a guy mentioning that a woman is cute and his exclaiming that he wants to play naked Twister with her: the former is a harmless observation, while the latter is a declaration of a douchebaggery. A boyfriend’s lewd comments about other women in your presence is not only disrespectful, it could also be an indication that he’s not to be trusted.

With that said, I’m assuming yours is a good dude, and is merely agreeing or disagreeing with his friends about how attractive other girls are. I have to tell you that whether or not they vocalize it, all heterosexual males will notice when a hot woman walks in the room. So as long as he’s speaking of these women with reverence, and not objectifying or degrading them, it could actually mean that he feels comfortable enough to be the same guy with you that he is with his best male friends, which is a giant compliment.

However, of course you have the right to request that he not do this while you’re around. As I’ve written time and time again, communication is always the key to any successful relationship — so gently inform him (in private) that his discussion of other women makes you uncomfortable. If approached calmly and lovingly, he might immediately understand and apologize.

On the other hand, if he’s like me, he might be a bit stubborn about having to hold back with his friends. Though you seem to be planted firmly in his social circle, he might not be willing to permanently change his dynamic with his pals. In that case, you might have to restructure the amount of time you all spend together as a group. Or, it could be possible that you need to be with a more mild-mannered guy.

But at the very least, opening up to your boyfriend should encourage him to do other things to reassure you that only you have his heart. If he values the right to speak freely around you, he must make it clear through affectionate words and actions that you’re the only one he really wants at the end of the day. And just knowing that you can feel a little insecure sometimes will hopefully inspire him to go that extra mile for you.

Good luck!
Ethan

Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of ActualConversation.com. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell.com…or call his mom, Robin.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!

Here’s How NOT To Get His Attention

Jessica Booth — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 21:39:48 +0000

Is the Internet ruining your relationships?

I’ve seen just as many crazy, ridiculous apps out there as I have really bad dating advice. And somehow, magically, this app manages to combine both into one huge tip on how NOT to get his attention.

HowAboutWe.com posted a review of the app in question, called Equala, and I couldn’t resist letting you girls in on it. Equala is an app that basically connects to your Facebook profile and fills you in on what music other people are listening to. On Equala’s website, they market the app as a great way to “rely on your friends’ music to be the best radio station!” It would be an app you could use if you needed some new music, but weren’t sure where to look for it.

If Equala was just all about that, it would be fine. I mean, kind of stupid and pointless (you don’t need an app to see what music your Facebook friends like. All you have to do is… go on their Facebook), but fine. Except that’s not how they presented the app to HowAboutWe… and the issue I have with Equala is how it claims to help your dating life.

The press release Equala sent to HowAboutWe suggests using the app as a way to get the attention of the guy you’re crushing on. Their way of doing that? By pretending to like the stuff they like, obviously. Here are the suggestions on how to get his attention from their press release:

Get familiar with his top jams. Listen [to them] yourself (or at least, pretend to).

Make sure you share on social media how awesomely amazing his favorite bands/songs are (discreetly, of course).

When you see him next, use this musical insight as an icebreaker. For example, you cannot wait for their next show. You love the new single. You think their first album was absolutely epic in comparison to this one.

Hook, line, sinker. He will be interested. Music is the way into a dude’s heart. (Um, sorry, since when?)

Ummmm. Where should I start? So many choices, so many choices.

Let’s see… while there is nothing wrong with using social media as a way to get to know your crush on your own, there is something wrong with pretending to like what your crush likes just to get his attention. News flash, Equala and anyone else who acts fake in order to get noticed: guys, and people in general, like individuality. No one likes when someone pretends to be someone they’re not just so they can get what they want.

Look, if you want to get a guy’s attention, don’t do this. Don’t pretend to like his favorite band just to impress him. Don’t talk about his favorite band to him like you’re sooo familiar with them when in reality you just looked up the lyrics to their biggest hit song two days ago. That’s not cool and it will probably backfire. Either he’ll know you’re not being honest and will be totally weirded out or he’ll eventually find out the truth and get totally weirded out. Either way – you end up looking lame. Do yourself a favor and stick to being passionate about what you like. A guy will be more into your confidence than into the fact that you like the same song.

Would you ever download this app and use it to impress guys? Do you ever pretend to like something your crush likes just to get his attention? Tell us in the comments.

10 Ways To Know That He Doesn’t Like You

Jessica Booth — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 23:00:51 +0000

Real talk: a few years ago, I read super popular book He’s Just Not That Into You and it changed my life. Or, it changed my dating life. And no, that is not a dramatic statement. This book really did open my eyes to the behavior guys will exhibit when they like a girl and when they don’t like a girl. In all honesty, it’s easy to tell if he doesn’t like you – it’s just that sometimes, we’re so blinded by love that we just refuse to see it.

But seriously, girls? Opening your eyes and admitting to yourself that he doesn’t like you can only help you. Yeah, it sucks – but it can also stop you from continuing to put yourself in a position where you’re only going to get hurt. If a few of these reasons below apply to your crush who’s been acting weird, then it’s possible that he just isn’t crushing on you back. Your best bet is to move on and find someone who does like you. There’s no point in trying to change his mind. So, if you’ve been wondering if he’s into you or not, read this list – and remember this stuff forever.

He Never Calls Or Texts First

It's pretty simple: when a guy likes you, he wants to talk to you. And if he wants to talk to you, he's going to text you or call you. Sure, it's fine to sometimes be the one who reaches out, but if you're the only one initiating any sort of conversation, that's a good sign that he's not into you. If a guy really wants to talk to you, he's almost never too busy to send a quick text, so don't be so quick to buy his excuses for why he hasn't gotten in touch.

He Doesn't Talk Or Listen

When he does text you or talk to you, what does he say? If a dude is texting you and only sending a one word answer to your long paragraph, that's a sign that he's trying to subtly hint that he's not interested. If he never asks you any questions about your day or about you in general, that means he doesn't care to get to know you. And if you know nothing about him? That means he doesn't want to open up to you.

He Only Hangs Out To Hook Up

When a guy likes you, he wants to impress you - and only bringing you up to his dirty room to make out on the bed isn't exactly impressive. If a guy is into you, he wants to know more about you than just what you look like naked. He'll want you to know that, so he'll take you out or make an effort not to make everything about sex. If he only calls you after 11 PM to hook up, that is a good sign that the only thing he wants from you is to get into your pants - and please don't confuse that for a crush.

He Bails On You Without A Backup Plan

If you guys make plans, whether it's to go out or just to hang at his house, and he bails on you, pay attention to what he does afterwards. If he just says, "Can't make it tonight, sorry," and nothing else? Not a good sign. If he says, "Can't make it tonight. Are you free tomorrow instead?" Good sign. That means he genuinely feels bad about cancelling and still wants to see you. If he bails without saying anything else, that means he really doesn't care. And if he keeps bailing and making more plans and then bailing again? That means he doesn't have the balls to tell you he's not interested.

He ALWAYS Has An Excuse

This is similar to bailing on you without a backup plan. Maybe he never asks you to hang out, so instead you decide to take the reigns and ask him to hang out. If he constantly has some sort of lame excuse, that again means that he doesn't have the guts to just say no. He's hoping you'll eventually just stop asking so he doesn't have to be the bad guy (makes no sense). An excuse once in a while can, of course, be legit, but if it happens more often than not, it's probably not. If a guy wants to see you, he WILL find a way. Trust me.

He's Weird In Social Situations

If you two really hit it off when you're alone cuddling in bed together, but he gets weird the second you're somewhere public, take it as a bad sign. If he acts super distant with you in school or at a party, that means he doesn't want other people to think there's something going on. That's not only mean, it's also shady. If a guy likes you, he won't be afraid to flirt with you in front of his friends or your friends.

He Flirts With Other Girls In Front Of You

Story time: One night my friend Doug was hanging out with a bunch of my friends and I. We took some pictures that were totally innocent and one of them was of me and him. When I put it on Facebook, he texted me to ask very nicely if I could take it down because he didn't want the girl he was pursuing to see it and get the wrong idea. THIS, ladies, is what a guy will do when he likes a girl. He will make sure you don't think he's interested in other girls because he doesn't want to lose you. If he's obviously flirting with other girls in front of you? He wants you to know he's not tied down.

He Talks To You Like Your His Buddy

At the same time, if he has no problem telling you he thinks another girl is hot, that might also mean he doesn't really care about you. When I first met my boyfriend, he was hesitant to even admit to me he found Mila Kunis hot. I mean, come on. If a dude is talking to you like you're just one of the guys, that more than likely means that that is the only way he sees you.

He Panics If You Get Too Close

If he freaks whenever you bring up the word relationship or ask for plans for next weekend or anything like that, it could mean he's just scared of commitment... but it probably means he doesn't want a commitment with you. A guy once told me that dudes who say they don't want a relationship really mean they don't want one with you - because if they find the right girl, they'll be willing to take the leap, scared or not.

Your Friends Are Weird About Him

Sometimes our friends, who are outside of the situation, can tell when our crush isn't into us. But since they're our friends, they don't want to hurt us by being the bearer of bad news. If your friends get kind of weird when you bring him up and try to steer you away from the guy, it's a good indicator that they think things aren't going to happen for one reason or another. Ask them to be completely honest with you about what they think and pay attention to their reaction - you'll be probably be able to tell if they're being genuine or not.

Did these tips help you? What did I miss? How do you deal when you find out your crush doesn’t like you? Tell me in the comments.

10 reasons guys cheat

10 Signs You’re Ready For A Relationship

Meg Malone — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 20:00:14 +0000

Relationships take some work. They require us to accept a person into our lives and figure out how to balance their needs with our own. It can be a lot of navigate and if the timing isn’t quite right when you enter into a relationship, that can spell disaster.

Usually though, there are some signs that you are ready for a relationship. Often times, they are also things you can think about ahead of time, rather than waiting until you’re already dating someone. Whether you have been in a relationship before or not, here is a checklist of ten signs to help clue you in as to if the present is a good time for you to be in a relationship.

You've Defined Relationship

Do you know what a "relationship" means to you? Because it can mean different things to different people. Before you jump into a relationship, you should have an idea about your definition of relationship. That way, you can share it with your potential partner to make sure you two are on the same page. If you still aren't sure what a relationship is to you, you may want to do a little soul searching before you jump into one and realize your definition doesn't match your partner's.

You've Witnessed Real Couples

We can often get caught up in our dream relationships or what we see on TV, but before a relationship you should have been able to learn and observe about relationships in real world settings. Relationships surround us every day, so even if it's not immediately obvious, just think on what dos and don'ts you've observed from watching your parents, your friends, even your past relationships. You get a sense of real relationship challenges, but also what the good ones look like, too.

You Have The Time

If your daily schedule is packed completely tight, now might not be the best time to jump into a relationship. Dating someone means needing to make time for them, and if you barely have time to do all the things you want for yourself, it wouldn't really be fair. You should stop doing what you love just to be in a relationship, and it's also not to say that you can't be busy and have a BF — it just requires you to take a hard look at how you manage your time and see if it's really possible at this time to commit to someone else.

You've Developed Communication Skills

Communication is so important in a relationship, because it's also the foundation for other aspects like trust and honesty. If you have trouble communicating with people, that could forecast a tough time in a relationship when you need to express how you feel. Instead of throwing yourself into a relationship, just practice being a little more open in your friend and family relationships until it starts to feel more natural so when you are dating someone, you have a solid foundation.

You Can Set Boundaries

It's easy to let a new relationship become your one and only focus in your life. While it's good to share time with this new partner, it's not really a good idea to completely lose yourself in the relationship. You should think about setting and discussing boundaries that let you maintain your own life while sharing in this new relationship. If you haven't thought about what boundaries could look like for you, you may want to think about that before starting a relationship.

You Know Why You Want One

Think about the reasons you want to enter a relationship - is it because you really like this certain person? That's great. However, if you can trace it back to jealousy that your BFF has a boyfriend or you recently got dumped, those seem more like situations where it's less about what you want and more feeling like you need a relationship to prove something. If you're facing that kind of pressure from yourself, now probably isn't right for a relationship.

You're Cool Just With You

Are you able to be single and enjoy time just with yourself? Being able to spend time with just yourself is super important and it can give you a lot of clarity about your hopes, dreams and goals - and knowing these things can make you enter a relationship more clearheaded. Developing a relationship with yourself is important. If you want a relationship simply because you can't stand being single, you may be trying to force something before you are ready.

You're Cool With Sharing

Just as you should be okay being on your own, when you do transition into a relationship, you should be okay with sharing and compromising with them. If you don't feel comfortable with the idea of needing to factor another person into your plans or life, than now probably isn't the right time for a relationship.

You Respect Others' Decisions

Even if you are ready for a relationship, you can't make another person be ready. You have to be both patient to people who are still trying to figure out for themselves if they want a relationship, and understanding if it turns out that's not what they want. A relationship involves another person, so by showing you care about other people's dating decisions actually shows that you are someone who would be supportive for your partner in a relationship.

You Trust Your Gut

The bottom line though is there's no magic way to ever know if you are 100% ready for a relationship. A lot of it also comes down to just trusting your gut. Everyone makes mistakes in relationships, even if they were pretty prepared for the commitment, but the important thing is that you learn from them and you'll be even more ready to handle relationships in the future.

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

When did you know that you were ready for a relationship? What are other signs that you think show someone is ready for a relationship? Tell us in the comments!

Should I Tell My Crush I Like Him?

Ask A Guy: Do Guys Care If You’re Popular Or Not?

Ethan Fixell — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 22:00:13 +0000

Do you need to be prom queen to catch his eye? | Source: ShutterStock

Dear Ethan,

I like one of the most popular guys in my school but I don’t know if he knows I exist. But I have a HUGE crush on him and I think we could be cute together… but I’m not popular. Here’s my question: do guys care if you’re popular or not?

I’d like to believe that today’s American youths are more open minded than British elitists circa 1912 (see Pygmalion, by George Bernard Shaw)… or SoCal high school students circa 1999 (see She’s All That* with Freddie Prinze Jr). From my experience, most teenaged guys don’t dismiss possible love connections merely because of a girl’s social status (and if they do, they are jerks not worth getting to know in the first place). I know plenty of guys (myself included) who have looked beyond “popularity” to date some really cool girls.

What more often prevents love connections from developing is a lack of common interests, and therefore, interactions. Sometimes it’s as simple as not being physically around a guy enough to keep him from noticing that you exist. If he doesn’t have the opportunity to hang out with you in the first place, it can be difficult to get his attention.

Fortunately, social status matters less and less as you get older and cliques slowly break apart. My senior year of high school was kinda magical, when social boundaries almost entirely dissipated. Eventually “nerds,” “jocks,” “thugs,” and everyone in between began to hang in larger groups at parties, a phenomenon captured time and time again in movies such as The Breakfast Club and Can’t Hardly Wait. (I like movies, okay??) In college and later, in “the real world,” social confines only continue to blur further.

The best thing you can do right now is to actively make your presence known to him. The next time you see him at lunch, after class, or at a party, introduce yourself! Keep the conversation going by initiating once or twice more. If it’s meant to be, and he’s truly as cool as his popularity suggests, he’ll pick up on the signals and reciprocate. You’ve got nothing to lose!

(*I’m proud to report that this is the second time I’ve referenced that film in this column).

Good luck!
Ethan

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!

Is he really busy or is he just blowing me off?