Source: Shutterstock

On the bright side, there are always people working to stop bullying. The Friend Movement is an anti-bullying movement founded by Ronnie Kroell and Elliot London that was “created to help show positive anti-bully images through art and media.”

The Friend Movement has a new campaign called The New F Word, which is “a grass roots photo campaign and documentary film that aims to encourage the use of the word FRIEND to project inner strength and confidence.”

They’re asking people to basically flip off bullying and empower themselves instead. According to their website, “When a person is called a FREAK they shut down inside, letting the bullying continue. We want the individual to have an empowered inner monologue of ‘F U, I am actually really FABULOUS and do not need your approval.’”

The New F Word campaign asks participants to take out words like “fatty, faggot, freak” and replace it with “friend.” They’re using a photo campaign to promote the campaign and are aiming to take over 10,000 photos in three months across the country. They have celebrities like Adam Lambert, Leanne Rimes and Darren Criss involved and are throwing a benefit concert scheduled for July 1.

The Friend Movement also has Lizzie Velasquez in their corner, who is a major anti-bullying advocate. You can watch Lizzie’s story in this clip from Entertainment Tonight.

 

I encourage all of you to sign up on The Friend Movement’s page to get more info about the campaign and see if you can make it to their shoots. I love the idea of taking something negative and turning it into something positive because in doing so, you take the power away from the negativity.

So next time someone calls you fat or calls you a freak, remember how fabulous you are instead!
 
Have you heard of The Friend Movement? What do you think about The New F Word campaign? Will you join the movement? Tell us in the comments!
 

Do other girls hate you for having sex?

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Being a bully isn’t just about pushing kids into lockers and asking for their lunch money. Whenever people imagine a female bully they probably think of Mean Girls. That’s fine, but you don’ t have to be Regina George and have a burn book at the ready to be a bully.

Bullies can be subtle in the ways that they intimidate and hurt those they consider weaker than them. Media representations of bullies often depict them knowing that they’re bullies, almost with a sense of pride. But, uh, newsflash! There are plenty of bullies out there who don’t even know that they’re bullies!

Could you be one of those people? Take our quiz to find out.

Do you think you’re a bully? Were you a bully in the past? Have you been bullied? Tell us in the comments!

Are You Ready For Summer?

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I know we discuss bullying a lot, but as long as it’s still happening we’re still going to talk about it. Bullying, unfortunately, is something that a lot of people have to endure. And it’s not just in school either. Adults fall victim to bullying as well. It’s a problem that can affect everyone, and that’s why it’s so important to discuss.

It’s so easy to let bullying get you down. I was bullied a lot in school, and it’s really difficult to see a light at the end of the tunnel. But there is a light! Don’t believe me?

Here are 12 celebrities that were seriously bullied and made it out on the other side.

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Ed Sheeran

Ed Sheeran just revealed in an interview with The Daily Mail that he was a victim of bullying in school because of his hair color. He said, "I was quite a weird kid when I was little, I wore big glasses, had hearing problems, had a stutter and I had ginger hair, but I am now a successful musician and I have nothing to complain about."

Source: WENN.com

Jennifer Lawrence

Our BFF Jen told The Sun, “I changed schools a lot when I was in elementary school because some girls were mean. They were less mean in middle school, because I was doing all right, although this one girl gave me invitations to hand out to her birthday party that I wasn’t invited to. But that was fine, I just hocked a loogie on them and threw them in the trash can.”

Source: WENN.com

Chad Michael Murray

The One Tree Hill hottie told PBS that he was bullied "ever since I was in kindergarten. I had my two front teeth knocked out by a sixth grader in first grade. He picked me up and jacked me in the mouth. My house got egged, and all that stuff that happens to you when you’re growing up with people who don’t understand what’s going on.”

Source: FayesVision/WENN.com

Brittany Snow

Brittany Snow is super active in the anti-bullying realm today because of her personal struggles. She told Betty Confidential, "When I was in middle school and high school a bully would tell me ways to kill myself every day. The bully would put mean things on flyers and hit me and just taunt me in every way. I had no friends. Then, on top of all that, one of my good friends committed suicide because of this bully."

Source: Adriana M. Barraza/WENN.com

Christian Bale

Batman himself was bullied in school after he starred in Steven Speilberg's Empire Of The Sun, "I took a beating from several boys for years. They put me through hell, punching and kicking me all the time,"

Source: WENN.com

Demi Lovato

Demi is now an ambassador for Secret's anti-bullying campaign. She told People Magazine, "People would write 'hate petitions' [about me] and send them around to be signed. They'd have CD-bashing parties of my demos. They'd come to my house, stand across the street and yell things."

Source: Brian To/WENN.com

Jason Segel

Even the charming and lovable Jason Segel was bullied! He told Young Hollywood, "When I was like 12, I went through puberty. You know, when your hormones change inside of your body, and uh, I became 6'4" and everyone was regular, like normal human height. And they would stand in a circle and jump on my back one by one and chant 'Ride the oaf! Ride the oaf!"

Source: Apega/WENN.com

Megan Fox

Megan Fox was bullied in school over her acting dreams! She told Contact Music, "One girl came to school on Halloween in a black leather catsuit and everyone thought she was cat woman. She answered, 'No I am Megan Fox.' She was making fun of me."

Source: FayesVision/WENN.com

Pierce Brosnan

According to The Biography Channel, the Irish hunk was "teased and bullied about his Irish accent - in fact, his nickname was 'Irish.' In order to avoid continued persecution, he trained himself to speak with an English accent."

Source: WENN.com

Jessica Alba

The beautiful and funny Jessica Alba suffered pretty serious bullying when she was in school. She revealed to The Daily Mirror, "I was bullied so badly my dad used to have to walk me into school so I didn't get attacked. I'd eat my lunch in the nurses' office so I didn't have to sit with the other girls."

Source: Dan Jackman/WENN.com

Robert Pattinson

Yup, Edward Cullen/Cedric Diggory was beat up and bullied in school! He said in an interview with Parade Magazine, "I got beaten up by a lot of people when I was younger. I was a bit of an idiot, but I always thought the assaults were unprovoked. It was after I first started acting and I liked to behave like an actor, or how I thought an actor was supposed to be, and that apparently provoked a lot of people into hitting me."

Source: Patrick Hoffmann/WENN.com

Michelle Trachtenberg

Michelle says she was bullied by over 100 kids in school and reveals that she was "sad a lot." She suffered serious physical bullying and was punched in the face on the bus by a girl who tormented her. "I got through the worst type of bullying," Michelle says in her interview with E! Investigates: Bullying.

Source: PNP/WENN.com

 
Did you know that these celebrities were bullied in school? Were you surprised by any of them? Does it make you feel better to know you’re not alone? Tell me in the comments!
 

Jennifer Lawrence gives great advice on how to deal with bullies

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Source: Brian To/WENN.com

Mean girls are everywhere – they even pick on girls as awesomely amazing as – GASP – Jennifer Lawrence. Yes, it’s true – everyone’s favorite female celeb was once picked on and bullied in school.

This seems kind of impossible, since Jennifer Lawrence is currently one of the coolest celebrities ever. I mean, she falls up stairs accepting Oscars, she orders McDonald’s on the red carpet, she’s extremely self-deprecating and she was caught on camera reacting to Jack Nicholson’s creepiness in the best way possible – the girl can do wrong. Who would ever bully her?! But really, this shouldn’t be such a huge surprise. I feel like every other week, I hear another story about a gorgeous and talented star who dealt with bullying when they were younger.

What stands out with JLaw is, obviously, her amazing way of dealing with these bullies. That should come as no surprise – if anyone is going to have a kick-ass comeback to a mean girl, it would be Jennifer Lawrence. I mean, come on.

So, what is Jennifer Lawrence’s advice on how to deal with bullies? In an interview with The Sun, JLaw said, “I changed schools a lot when I was in elementary school because some girls were mean. They were less mean in middle school, because I was doing all right, although this one girl gave me invitations to hand out to her birthday party that I wasn’t invited to. But that was fine, I just hocked a loogie on them and threw them in the trash can.”

She adds: “Don’t worry about the bitches – that could be a good motto, because you come across people like that throughout your life.”

Um, guys? I have legitimately never hocked a loogie in my entire life – it grosses me out to no end – but now that Jennifer Lawrence has said that, I want to start doing it. Like, to every mean person who crosses my path. I don’t care if you’re an Internet troll or my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend or the store clerk who gives me an attitude. If you’re rude, I’m going to spit on you.

In all seriousness, could Jennifer Lawrence get any cooler? This is such a badass way to deal with bullies. I mean, if that were me, I probably would have just cried, called my mom and went home for the day. I can totally see mini Jennifer spitting on a pile of letters and throwing them in a trash can while being like, “Whatever, dude.” And so my girl crush gets bigger.

How do you deal with bullies and mean girls? Do you stand up for yourself or are you more passive? Do you have a girl crush on Jennifer Lawrence? Tell me in the comments!

Is she a bitch or a bully?

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Bullying your peers online is not okay – and neither is cyberbullying your teachers! Source: Shutterstock.com

A new North Carolina law has been put in place to protect teachers against students who turn to the Internet to bully their teachers.

Basically, it is now against the law there to “intimidate or torment” teachers on the Internet. This could mean making a fake profile for them, but students could also be violating the law even if what they post is true or the pictures of the teacher they put up are real. If it harasses the teacher, then it won’t fly under this new law. The consequences for teens? Potential jail time and a big fine. Yeah, this is serious stuff.

Back when I was in high school, I admit that I would sometimes complain about assignments on Facebook (“Ughhh, why do we have an 8 page term paper due tomorrow?!“). Still, it always made me uncomfortable when I’d see others target the teacher personally.

While people would censor themselves when it came to talking about other students since they could potentially see the posts, because teachers didn’t have access to our Facebook profiles, I think to a lot of people it seemed more “fair game.” Yeah, sometimes it was a “joke” but these comments left me feeling weird rather than wanting to laugh.

One of the arguments against this North Carolina law is that it somehow violates your First Amendment rights, but I don’t feel totally on board with that. Let me say the First Amendment is super important – it gives you the right to voice your opinion! I guess I just feel really conflicted when that awesome power to say what you think becomes a way to tear down another person.

If you really do have an issue with a teacher, I think you most definitely should exercise your First Amendment rights. Teachers often give you feedback on your work (both positive and negative) which makes you a better student, and your feedback can also help make them a better teacher. Voice how you feel by scheduling a meeting with them or the administration or talk it out with your parents. But blasting your teacher on Facebook to your friends? It’s not a controlled way of dealing with an issue. It could mess things up for you, but also your teacher.

People do really take what students say about their teachers seriously because they don’t want to risk any chance that students are somehow in danger. If you’re impersonating a teacher or just throwing around hurtful terms or allegations about your teachers with no basis, that can have major professional consequences for them.

You won’t love every teacher you have (I certainly didn’t), but whether there’s a law in place or not, harassing teachers online isn’t the way to go.

What do you think about this law in North Carolina? Do you feel like it limits your freedom of speech? Have you ever complained about a teacher online? Have any of your friends ever gotten in trouble for harassing a teacher on the Internet? Tell us in the comments!

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Source: Shutterstock

I saw this interview on Marie Claire with Emily Bazelon, author of the bullying book Sticks And Stones. She says, “70 percent of the time, women target other women,” which doesn’t surprise me.

That’s why movies like Mean Girls exist. But what’s the difference between being bitchy and being a bully?

(For the record, I hate the word “bitch.” It’s sexist, mean and I just find it gross. But, it was used in the Marie Claire article and made a good point. So, I used it here. For the record, “bitch” here just means a girl who’s not that nice. More on my thoughts about “bitch” in the near future, I promise.)

I personally don’t think that being less than nice makes you a bully. I know a lot of girls that just aren’t very nice, but they don’t set out to hurt anyone. They never upset anybody on purpose or with some mean vendetta, they just aren’t nice.

Bullying is defined as “unwanted, aggressive behavior among that involves a real or perceived power imbalance.”

So if a girl doesn’t have a warm, fuzzy personality, she’s not necessarily a bully. Every girl has the capability to be mean, but it doesn’t make her a bully. There’s one girl I know that I find very cold and mean. She invites people out with her and says hello, but she’s pretty snarky and just says off-handed comments that make me cringe.

She’s not a bully. She’s just doesn’t have a sparkly persona. I think because bullying is so prevalent, we’re very quick to slap it on as a label to anyone who hurts are feelings. We really need to be able to recognize what’s bullying and what isn’t, otherwise we run into the “Boy Who Cried Wolf” situation.

What qualifies as bullying? Stop Bullying has a pretty solid list:

- Teasing
- Name-calling
- Inappropriate sexual comments
- Taunting
- Threatening to cause harm
- Leaving someone out on purpose
- Telling other children not to be friends with someone
- Spreading rumors about someone
- Embarrassing someone in public
- Hitting/kicking/pinching
- Spitting
- Tripping/pushing
- Taking or breaking someone’s things
- Making mean or rude hand gestures

If a girl is “being mean” but her actions don’t fall into these categories, she’s probably not a bully. She might just be a not so nice girl, and y’all just don’t get along. The best thing you can do to not so nice girls is be nice to them. Sometimes they need a little love, but they don’t know it.

Do you know any mean girls? Would you call them bullies? Tell me in the comments!

 

Fat shaming is definitely bullying

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We need to put an end to slut shaming. Source: ShutterStock

Slut shaming is a topic that we discuss often here at Gurl, so we figured it would be good to take a moment and just remind everyone what it means — and why it shouldn’t be happening.

Finally A Feminism 101 Blog has a really in-depth look at slut shaming, which I found really helpful when it comes to understanding just what it means. The term’s definition refers to the act of targeting a person through degradation or humiliation for acting upon their sexuality in some form that isn’t “acceptable.”

This could mean ridiculing someone for how many sexual partners they’ve had, spreading rumors about their sexual activity (whether true or not is irrelevant), or judging someone based on the way they dress or act.

While the term “slut” can be applied to men, it tends to primarily be a derogatory word for women. Why is it then that the term is often used and other slut shaming actions are committed by girls against girls? One theory is that our society fosters this kind of girl vs. girl competition, and using strategies like slut shaming is a way to cut each other down in order to “win over” guys. No matter the reason, it still doesn’t make it okay.

Just because you’re not directly calling another person a “slut” or “skank” or another derogatory word that a targets their sexuality, you may not be aware that other things you are doing may actually contribute to a culture of slut shaming. For example, what about the modesty club that decided that girls who were dressing a certain way lacked self-respect? Even if they aren’t saying the word “slut,” that same harmful message that a person is devalued or should be embarrassed about acting a certain way is being expressed.

We are always trying to bring slut shaming to your attention because it can severely damage people’s reputations, and have incredibly tragic and heartbreaking consequences. Reading these stories should be a reminder of how important it is to eliminate slut shaming.

A person’s sexuality is their own, and as such, it’s nobody’s business what someone else chooses to do or how they act. It is not what defines them as a person, and it’s wrong to place someone’s value on those types of private decisions. Everyone approaches their own sexuality differently in terms of the choices or decisions they make.

You don’t have to choose to act the same way as someone else, but you do have to respect someone’s right to act in the way they choose when it comes to their body and their sexuality. So just as you shouldn’t call someone a “slut,” calling them a “prude” and trying to shame or judge them in that way is right along the same lines.

First off, break that habit of using the word “slut” to describe someone, and educate those around you to stop using it too. From there, keep in mind how you may speak, act or think and commit yourself to going against the culture of slut shaming.

There are so many better ways to spend your time than by weighing in on people’s decisions that you have no business even commenting on. Slut shaming is not only a form of bullying , but a form of sexism, and those are two things we definitely need way less of in this world.

Is slut shaming something that ever happens at your school or in your community? Tell me in the comments!

Who Is Sandra Fluke? She’s A Hero, Not A Slut!

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Don’t frame boobs as the culprit in bullying! Source: Shutterstock

Her mom, Tammie, called the school district to discuss what can be done about the situation, and the woman she spoke told her, “they could transfer my daughter and said her boobs were so large she will always get teased. And the only suggestion she had for me is to have my daughter get a breast reduction.“

I’m sorry, WHAT? Just no. This girl is getting harassed at school and nothing can be done except a dangerous surgery to reduce her breast size?! That’s the best solution you have? I can’t even.

This is how I feel. Source: Uproxx

Fox2 News went to the school district for comment and they claim the whole thing is a misunderstanding. I find it extremely hard to believe that you can misunderstand someone telling you that your child needs a breast reduction, but what do I know?

The superintendent did call and said they are working to resolve problems for Gabrielle and her little brother, who is also a victim of bullying at school. Hopefully those resolutions don’t involve any other mentions of plastic surgery.

I used to get bullied a lot for my nose. I broke it twice growing up, which left a nice bump. I was always teased, but plastic surgery was never suggested as a solution to bullying and it never should be.

What do you think about this story? Would you ever get plastic surgery to solve a bullying issue? Tell me in the comments!

Do you hate being tall?

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Bullying is never okay. | Source: ShutterStock

I think in some form or another, we all have kind of a sense of what bullying is, but I don’t think we always realize how much the topic of bullying covers and also the very seriousness of the issue.

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has put together the website StopBullying.gov, which is an extremely good resource that has helped inform us, and now we want to help inform you. Plus, how promising is it to see the government getting involved with an issue like this?!

StopBulling has a really.gov thorough definition that shows how much the term covers. Bullying involves aggressive behavior that has been (or could be) repeated, and it occurs in an environment where there is an uneven distribution of power. Types of bullying include “verbal,” “physical” and “social” (this last one meaning when the bullying damages the victim’s reputation or their relationships, through things like exclusion and rumors). There is also “cyber bullying” which is technology-based bullying. Slut shaming – which we take a major stand against on our site – is a form of bullying too. While there may be different types of bullying, it is important to remember that these are all harmful.

The 2011 Youth Risk Behavior Survey found that 1 in 5 high school students experienced bullying at school in the previous year, and a little over 16% of them experienced cyber bullying during that same time. Not okay. It is also not nearly as simple as the bully vs. the bullied – even those who just see bullying happening around them are part of the bigger picture. The thing is that ALL of these involved groups have been identified as being more likely to experience some really sad and negative consequences in their futures. It’s really scary to think about how serious and long lasting those effects of bullying could be.

If bullying is something that you find is happening around you, we urge you to speak up – seek out an adult that you trust who can guide you through the process. Again, check out StopBullying.gov – we were able to pass along some of their information to you here, but it’s really just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to bullying. It can maybe feel complicated and confusing, so use this as a resource. Whether you are in class or online, you and everyone else deserve to feel safe and respected.

Bullying came up in the news recently in the conflict between Lady Gaga and the Osbournes, so it’s clear bullying isn’t just a topic that stops being important or relevant after you leave school. There are though some bright spots as we work together to address bullying. What about things like those online compliment pages? Pretty awesome, yeah? We’ve also been able to highlight really inspiring stories of teammates and communities come together to support bullied teens.

As inspiring as these stories are, the hope though is that we can eliminate bullying from the start. There’s no room in our world for anything besides treating one another with respect.

Is bullying an issue at your school or in your community? Does your school or community take action against bullying? Have you ever dealt with bullies? How did you handle it? Tell us in the comments.

Confession: I Was A Cyber Bully

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