Oh honey. He’s not worth it! | Source: Shutterstock

Here’s the deal: She and her ex have been broken up for a long time (like, over a year) and even though they’ve both dated other people since then–she refuses to go to any event or party where he might show up. And it’s not like they hate each other or he was a jerk or something. And since they have a ton of friends in common, that means that she’s missed out on a whole lot of major parties, picnics, trips to Six Flags, and well–all kinds of other awesome stuff. How lame is that? Super lame! Seriously, no dude (especially one you’re not even dating anymore!) is worth giving up all those super fun times.

I get it that after a breakup, it’s good to give yourself some space from your ex. You don’t want to rip open that wound over and over by hanging out with him, seeing him having fun without you, maybe even flirting with someone else. But if you’ve moved on and he’s moved on, then it’s time to put on your big girl pants and go on with your life!

Do you ever let your ex stand in your way of having fun? Do you know anyone who does? Tell us in the comments!

How To Make Seeing Your Ex Less Awkward

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The thing is though, Zooey is a super cool girl with a lot of awesome things going for her – just like you! Everyone’s love lives are full of some bumps along the way, and taking a glance at Zooey’s life provides a really valuable source of love lessons. Whether it’s how to get through the tricky stuff or smart practices to make your relationship work, we can all learn a lot from Zooey’s actions, words and characters.

Whether you’re in a relationship, just getting out of one, or looking for a new romance, here’s eight love lessons that’s we’ve picked up from Zooey Deschanel to help guide you through.

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It's Okay If Things Don't Work Out

Look, if something doesn’t feel right or make you completely happy, you shouldn't feel trapped or obligated to sacrifice your well-being. It doesn't make you a failure or a bad person for ending a relationship. If you talk about it and handle it maturely, it actually could allow both of you to go on to find the happiness you truly deserve.

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Don't Air Your Dirty Laundry

After a break-up, you may feel like venting, but if you get everyone talking about it, the less likely it is to go away. I don't really remember hearing Zooey talk about the personal details of her break-up with the media, and when I think about Zooey in the past year, only the success of her show comes to mind - not any lingering relationship details. It's a classy move to respect your former partner, but it also sets you up to get a fresh start.

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Try Becoming Friends First

Speaking of New Girl, we can also take a lesson from her character Jess and her roommate Nick (Jake Johnson). We can tell that Nick and Jess are kind of meant to get together, but there’s something really nice about watching them come to love each other as friends first. Forming a really strong bond like Jess and Nick can be a real plus if you decide to start a relationship down the line.

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Guys Who Are Just Friends Are Okay Too

That said, you shouldn't feel pressured to strike up a relationship with a guy friend - whether your friends want you to or you're sick of being single - just because he happens to be there. You shouldn't settle like that, and it could damage those valuable friendships. Zooey is a great example of having some notable non-romantic friendships, like those with her former co-star Joseph Gordon-Levitt and her band partner M. Ward.

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Don't Be Jealous Of Your Taken Sisters

Sometimes we find ourselves comparing our love lives to those around us. However, if you use other people as a measure of your happiness, it can get you down or make those people uncomfortable. Seeing her sister Emily married could maybe make Zooey feel resentful, but instead these two seem like great friends who support each other no matter what is happening in the other's love life.

Source: Adriana M. Barraza / WENN.com

Don't Get Stuck With One Type

Zooey is a lady of many talents, so it makes sense that when it comes to relationships, she's dated guys who have a variety of careers. She's dated actors, musicians and her alleged new boyfriend, Jamie Linden (pictured), is a screenwriter and director. It’s cool to learn some new things from who you are dating, so don’t be afraid to go for someone who maybe has different interests, skills or talents than yourself or your last boyfriend.

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Develop Your Passions Outside The Relationship

Between her website (HelloGiggles.com), her band, and her show, recently things seem to be going pretty great in many areas of Zooey’s life. By taking a little time to explore your own passions and enjoy your personal success, it builds up your self-confidence, self-worth and gives you time to think about what you really want out of a relationship. You'll go into your next one even better for it.

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Overall, Don't Judge Love

It's not only her actions, but her words that give us love lessons. We'll leave you with this wise gem attributed to Ms. Deschanel: "Love is individual to each person and I don’t think you can define it before experiencing it because it isn’t going to be the same for everybody.”

Source: Daniel Tanner/ WENN.com

What do you think about these love lessons from Zooey Deschanel? Are there any others that you would have added? Is there another celebrity whose life you get valuable love lessons from? Tell us about it in the comments!

Check out Zooey’s song that made our list of 11 Christmas Songs That Don’t Suck!

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Selena Gomez should know better than to mope in public after a breakup–even if it’s with Justin Bieber! | Source: WENN

Coping with a breakup is hard for anyone to deal with–especially celebs who have to deal with press asking questions and plastering pics of them and their exes all over the place. (Think Facebook drama multiplied by a million!)

Case in point: Selena Gomez was spotted sulking in a Hooter’s restaurant after her breakup with Justin Bieber. That’s gotta be rough in itself, let alone once you hear that people are going and telling everyone they saw you like that.

After a breakup, you’re angry, you’re sad, you’re lonely, and you feel like no one really gets it. Even if you did the dumping, you’re still probably pretty bummed out–at least a little bit.

While there’s no set formula to moving on from a breakup, there are a lot of things we totally know not to do if you really want to move past this rough time and get on on with your awesome life.

Here are our tips to you and Selena Gomez to move on from that dude who clearly wasn’t good enough for and didn’t deserve you. You can do better, but you won’t until you let yourself!

1. Don’t eat (or drink, or smoke) everything in sight!
Sure, those cookies and Ben and Jerry’s and hot wings (we’re lookin’ at you, Sel!) may seem appetizing now, and they might even make you feel a little bit better for a while. You may think drinking or smoking or doing some other substance may numb the pain. But here’s the thing: When the high–sugar or otherwise–is over, you’re going to feel even worse. Because not only are you dealing with a breakup, now you’re probably also sick to your stomach or worse.

If you want to treat yourself, by all means–you’re human, you’re awesome, and you deserve it. But if you’re using your treats as anesthesia for your emotions, it’s a problem. You’re pretty much putting a Band-Aid on a broken bone (or in this case, a broken heart). It may make it a little less ugly for a little while, but the problem is still there, and it’s not going to get better unless you actually deal with it instead of numbing yourself to it.

2. Don’t mope in public!
Selena Gomez, you should know better–you have a P.R. team! Even when you’re sad, you don’t need to show it in line at Starbucks or the halls at school. You know what’s gonna happen if you do? People are going to ask what’s wrong, and you’re not going to feel like explaining it all to them, right? Plus, you want to convey an air of confidence in light of the drama. You may actually care, but you don’t need the world to know (other than your diary and BFF!). If you’re really bummed, stay home–or at least slap on a smile if people are looking. You never know when a cute guy will be nearby looking for a pretty smile like yours!

3. Don’t force yourself to move on too soon after a breakup.
Rushing into a rebound relationship when you’re not over a breakup is a recipe for disaster–and will likely just lead to another messy breakup in the end. Give yourself some time to process why you and your ex didn’t work out. Keep a journal if you need to, and try to learn something from the split before you hop into a car with a cute guy just because he’s there.

4. Don’t badmouth your ex–or keep calling him!
It may feel good to tell everyone what a douchebag your ex is, but it’s only going to make you look hurt, bitter, and meanspirited. If anyone tries to bait you into talking smack, just say, “Justin is a great guy, but it just didn’t work out. Hey, did you see the Jets game this weekend? Now that was sad.”

And if you’re tempted to stay in contact with your ex after a breakup? Don’t. Even if you plan on being friends, which is great, forcing it too soon is only going to get messy. It’s a lot easier to move forward if you stop looking back. In a few months when you’re both in a better place, feel free to be buds. But by then, you probably will release that you don’t need him anyway! Remember: If he was so great, you’d still be together. And you’re not … so he’s not!

5. Don’t get jaded!
It’s tempting to look at “Forever Alone” comics and be convinced that you’ll never find anyone like your ex after a breakup. But here’s the thing: You won’t find anyone like your ex, and that’s a good thing–because if he’s your ex, he wasn’t right for you. Selena Gomez may never find another Justin Bieber, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t a ton of cool guys out there who wouldn’t treat her like a queen. And if you get jaded and bitter, you won’t find anyone period. Give yourself a week for every month you were together to dwell, mope, and listen to sad songs. When the last day is up, hide all reminders of him and move it along!

Have you ever had a hard time after a breakup? How do you deal with breakups? What’s your best way to move on after a breakup? Do you have any advice for Selena Gomez after her split with Justin Bieber? Tell us in the comments!

Next: The best relationship advice we got and gave in 2012!

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RIP Jelena: After Justin Bieber hung out with her ex, Nick Jonas, Selena Gomez broke it off for good! | Source: WENN

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have had a rocky relationship for a while. They broke up about a month ago, and Justin was hanging out with Victoria’s Secret models–not good. He had to work extra hard to win her back, and it looks like he blew it again. Another guy came between Selena and Justin: Nick Jonas. But not in the way you might expect.

It wasn’t Selena Gomez hanging out with the Jonas Brother. Rather, Justin hung out with Selena’s ex, Nick, in the recording studio and apparently beat the snot out of him in a ping pong match. The guys then tweeted about it (ouch!). This all set Selena off. “Justin and Nick Jonas hung out all night,” a source told Hollywood Life. “Selena was crying about it. He wouldn’t even return her calls when she found out and called him up. Hanging out with Nick proved that he wants to just be a jerk about this, and Selena’s sick of being heartbroken. They are finished, and I think it’s for good this time.”

Now, this is kind of a toughie. You can’t control who your boyfriend is friends with, but we can totally understand why Selena wouldn’t necessarily want Justin bonding with her ex–that’s uncomfortable and awkward: What if they’re talking about her? It’s just a weird situation all around.

How should you deal with your guy being friends with your ex? That depends on a few things.

First, were they friends before you started dating? Then you have less leeway, because it’s something you knew going in. You can try to set boundaries: “Hey, can you just not bring my name up? Or hang out when I’m around?” and if he’s worth your time, he’ll understand.

If they became pals after you got together, that’s a little weird, but not necessarily bad: If you and your ex are both genuinely over one another, you can just try to keep a safe yet civil distance. If you think there’s going to be drama, though, you may want to lay down the law with your dude. In addition to the guidelines listed before, you may also want to ask him why he’s suddenly BFFs with your old boyfriend just to get a better understanding of the situation: Do they both love ping pong? Are they each the only other guy they know who’s really into Deadpool? It may be innocent enough. Also consider this: Do you live in a small town? It may be a situation of proximity and a lack of other bromance options. Though Justin Bieber and Nick Jonas are pretty popular, in Hollywood, it’s a pretty small circle, and everyone is bound to run into one another at some point.

Obviously, having your boyfriend playing video games with your ex is a little awkward and may be off-putting. But if you’re secure in your relationship (and in yourself) and truly past your former flame, it doesn’t need to be as dramatic as the dilemma Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber got into with Nick Jonas. We think the issues Selena and Justin had before just made what may have not been a huge deal otherwise into a bad situation … and maybe inspired that dance!

Do you think Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber are broken up for good? Do you think Justin Bieber hung out with Nick Jonas just to make Selena Gomez upset, or that it was a more innocent meeting than she thinks? How would you feel if your boyfriend or girlfriend suddenly started hanging out with your ex? Tell us in the comments!

Taylor Swift doesn’t want Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber to ever, ever get back together!

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She Seems Super Fun

Just look at that smile--how could anybody not be happy around her?!

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She's Got Connections

When Minnie Mouse is your bestie, I bet you can get into Disneyland for free!

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Girlfriend Can Sing

How much fun would it be to go out to karaoke with the leader of Selena Gomez & The Scene?! SO MUCH. That's how much.

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She Even Looks Good In Sweats

Not that we're shallow or anything, but Selena's kind of super hot.

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We'd Get Along With Her Friends

Oh, lunch with Taylor this weekend? No prob!

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Selena's A Superhero

She really does help save the world through her amazing work with UNICEF. What's not to love about that?

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Her Passion Is Inspiring

Selena worked to rock the vote and does all kinds of other advocacy work, too. We heart her big time for that!

Are you as in love with Selena Gomez as we are? Do you think Justin Bieber was an idiot to let her go? Are you psyched to find out who she dates next (even though it’ll obviously be us at Gurl!)? Tell us everything in the comments!

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There’s no sugar-coating it: getting over an ex stinks. Whether a relationship was good or bad, long or short, or serious or not-so-serious, letting go of a person you trusted and gave yourself to is never easy. The only thing worse than dealing with a nasty breakup is still not being able to get over your ex after months of being single.

At some point in our lives, we’ve all wondered to ourselves how we’ll ever forget about one certain someone. It might even seem impossible at times… and that thought can really bring a girl down. So when I saw this topic in the message boards, I knew it was something that everyone could relate to. Check out some the awesome advice from one of our girls – then give some of your own.

boomtiing_ox said:
Honestly, I never thought I’d be posting something like this because I really believed that I wouldn’t have an issue like this; that I’d be strong and just be able to brush my ex off because I was the one who ended it.

Wrong.

I’ve deleted his number and Facebook so I never text him, but I still find myself messaging him. I feel almost like a failure and pathetic because I still feel attached to him and he has already moved on. He’s in a new relationship, he literally started dating her when we started college which was a few weeks after we broke up. How do you move on that fast? This irritated me because it’s like, look how quickly he gets a new girlfriend and I haven’t even had a guy take interest in me but I guess I’m used to that since I’ve never been popular with males; never have never will. I’m surprised I even have an ex to be perfectly honest.

When I talk to him I sound so desperate, because I tell him how if he was single I’d hook-up with him and that it’s not fair that I’m lonely and he isn’t. He was my first ever boyfriend and I had sex with him; I don’t regret that but maybe if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t still feel attached to him.

I also seem to have lost the bit of self-confidence I worked hard to get from advice given by you girls. I feel crappy, ugly, unattractive, needy and worthless. I feel that I’ll never have a boyfriend again, when I go to uni I’ll be the woman that never dates/hooks up with anyone and when all my friend’s are getting engaged/married/pregnant, I’ll still be single.

Now is a great time to lean on your friends. | Source: ShutterStock

I know what I need to do, cut ties with him and stop speaking to him. I’ve tried before believe me, but it’s difficult y’know.? I know it’s no excuse but I lack willpower; I won’t contact him and he’ll either contact me or I won’t stop thinking about him and give in.

I hate making posts like this because it just sounds like whining but I really think I need someone to speak to.

kissmeimirish said:
Okay, well for starters, go to a nail salon and treat yourself to a mani-pedi. You deserve it .

Second, people move on at their own pace. You can’t expect to find love just weeks after breaking up with him. Life just doesn’t happen like that. And if he’s saying he misses you and is still talking to you that’s a red flag that he moved on too quickly. The first thing you need to do is stop messaging him. As hard as that is, you don’t want to be the cause of the breakup of his new relationship, he may end up resenting you for it later. You don’t want to be “the other girl” and no girl wants to feel desperate – you’re making things worse on yourself by continuously talking to him. Plus, like you said, he has moved on and is in another relationship. The best thing you can do is leave him alone (as hard as that is) and be happy for him. What you’re doing isn’t fair to either of you.

It’s okay to feel crappy, he was obviously your first love and that’s normal to feel bad after you lose someone like that. This is many a girl’s problem after a breakup: You’re so worried about him and what he’s doing that you forget about YOU. Then you stop and go: Why am I not happy? He’s happy because he isn’t sitting around worrying about what you’re doing all day. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t or didn’t care about you, it just means that he’s going to live his life and you should too.

Do you go out with your friends? Do you call them to say hi and see how they’re doing? Try doing this a little bit at a time: Don’t think about him or talk about him when you’re with them. And the more you do that, the more you focus on the moment and where you are and the people you are with, the easier it will be to let go and think of him less. By the time you get to that point (and you will, it just might take some practice) guess what? You’ll be living your own life!

What are your tips for getting over an ex? Have you ever been in this situation? Are you dealing with something like this right now? Tell us in the comments! 

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Oh HELLO there, Daniel. | Source: FayesVision/WENN.com

1. Daniel Is A Hero
No, no. I’m not just talking about what he did to Voldemort. You might not know about this, but Daniel Radcliffe is a huge supporter of The Trevor Project, which champions LGBT youth and offers support to young people at risk of hurting themselves. We think the fact that he wants all people to be free to love whomever they want makes him beyond lovable himself!

2. He’s like, BFF with Emma Watson
You know, Emma Watson? The coolest girl ever? Right. If you dated Daniel Radcliffe, you’d probably get to hang out with Emma, too. And maybe meet her super good friend Ezra Miller (le swoon!).

3. Daniel listens to cool music
He’s into the Pixies and old school Weezer. If you’re already into these bands, you’ll have a ton to talk about. If you’re not? Get ready for some awesome mix tapes!

4. He’s super confident
Um, did you hear about that play that Daniel Radcliffe starred in? On Broadway? The one where he was totally naked on stage?! Right. That one. Well, he’s doing another nude scene in an upcoming movie, and all we have to say (besides “OMG, when is that coming out?!) is that we LOVE a confident man.

5. Nobody’s got eyes like Daniel Radcliffe
Have you seen those peepers? Yes, I know we’re being a bit superficial here, but you kind of can’t ignore eyes like his. They’re magical!

Are you happy that Daniel Radcliffe is single again? Would you go out with him if he asked you? Tell us what you think in the comments!

Here’s Why We Wouldn’t Want To Date Justin Bieber!

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Taylor Swift is wearing the best revenge on an ex: A smile! (Okay, and a cute coat.) | Source: WENN

In a new interview, Taylor explains that “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” is “a definitive portrait of how I felt when I finally stopped caring what my ex thought of me.” But did she really stop caring if she, you know, wrote a song about it? She explained that she still needed to get back at a guy who “made me feel like I wasn’t as good or as relevant as these hipster bands he listened to,” she said. “So I made a song that I knew would absolutely drive him crazy when he heard it on the radio. Not only would it hopefully be played a lot, so that he’d have to hear it, but it’s the opposite of the kind of music that he was trying to make me feel inferior to.” Taylor, remember how Eleanor Roosevelt said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”? Remember it!

Taylor’s right–it does get played a lot. A lot. but if he likes hipster bands, chances are he’s not into the radio stations that play her songs anyway. So why bother dwelling on an ex and talking smack about them? Taylor said simply, “Because that’s fun.”

To be fair, it sounds like this dude (cough, Jake, cough) really did a number on her. She wrote her song “All Too Well” two years ago when she was pretty fragile. “There’s a kind of bad that gets so overpowering you can’t even write about it,” Taylor said of her post-split state (she didn’t say who, but do the math). “When you feel pain that is so far past dysfunctional, that leaves you with so many emotions that you can’t filter them down to simple emotions to write about, that’s when you know you really need to get out.”

But aside from writing songs that break records, Taylor Swift finally mastered the real art of revenge: Living well and moving on. It’s a lesson we can all learn: Letting yourself be happy feels a lot better than feeling resentful, and chances are your ex has moved on, too. “I can say I’d honestly rather be happy than have 30 to 40 songs that I’ve written about these thrilling, exciting, horrible, unhappy times,” Taylor admitted. “I know red flags, and I steer away from them, because I have a priority on being happy. At some point, you grow out of being attracted to that flame that burns you over and over and over again. Thankfully, I hadn’t learned that lesson yet when I wrote this record.”

We’re thankful for that, too. If only because Taylor Swift writes some of the best breakup songs in the biz!

Do you agree with Taylor Swift about getting back at your exes or do you think it’s better to move on? What’s your favorite Taylor Swift song? Are you looking forward to Taylor Swift’s Red? Tell us in the comments!

Taylor Swift + Katy Perry both dated John Mayer–here’s why he’s bad news!

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Can broken heart syndrome kill you?! | Source

Having a broken heart feels freakin’ awful emotionally, but did you know it can affect your physical health, too? And we don’t just mean the ice cream headaches, loss of appetite, or puffy eyes that often come after a split–we’re talking something that can legit kill you. Yikes “Broken heart syndrome” is a real thing, and it’s pretty scary… But don’t worry, because you’re probably not at risk for it, even if you did just go through a really tough breakup.

“Broken heart syndrome” is a sadder, if less scientific, term for stress cardiomyopathy. What happens in stress cardiomyopathy is, the stress someone is under causes their adrenaline to go nuts, a result of which is a lot hormones sent to your heart. At that point, your heart can stop–but it’s different from a regular heart attack, because it’s not caused by a blockage or any other typical heart issue.

That said, a lot of the symptoms of broken heart syndrome mimic regular heart attacks: People feel shortness of breath and chest pain–but there’s usually no permanent damage. Phew!

Here’s what sucks though: Women get broken heart syndrome a lot more than men do. This isn’t necessarily because we’re more brokenhearted than men are, but because docs suspect that changes in our estrogen levels when we get older may be what helps trigger it. It happens often after the loss of a loved one, because it affects our emotional, mental, and physical stress levels so greatly.

On the bright side, you won’t have to worry about broken heart syndrome until after menopause–and by then, docs will probably be able to narrow down its biggest causes (other than a lost love, that is) and prevent it! In the meantime, remembering that a broken heart isn’t the end of the world will likely keep your stress levels down–and keep a broken heart from being the end of your life!

Have you ever had a broken heart? Do you think broken heart syndrome is real? Has a broken heart ever affected you physically? Tell us in the comments!

Here’s how to get over a broken heart for good!

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Breakups are kind of the worst – and unfortunately, they’re also something that we all have to go through (or maybe you’re going through one right now). Yeah, they’re super sad and can really make you miserable, but sometimes actually talking about them can make you feel better.

We want to know all about your past, present and future breakups. And here’s just a little reminder if you’re dealing with this right now: things will get better! You’ll feel sad for a little while, but eventually things won’t be as bad. So start filling out these questions – just copy and paste into the comments and you’re ready to spill your breakup stories.

1. When was your last breakup?

2. What was the reason for your last breakup?

3. Who broke up with who?

4. How many breakups have you gone through?

5. How many times have you dumped someone?

6. How many times have you been dumped?

7. In your opinion, what’s the worst way to dump someone?

8. Would you ever break up with someone over the Internet?

9. How do you deal with being sad about a breakup?

10. How do you help your friends get over a breakup?

How many times have you been heartbroken? | Source: ShutterStock

11. What’s the weirdest reason anyone has ever given you for breaking up with you?

12. Which celebrity couple do you wish had never broken up?

13. Which celebrity couple do you wish would break up?

14. Have you ever gone through a really public breakup?

15. When you break up with someone, do you usually try to stay friends with them?

16. Do you think it’s okay to ever be friends with benefits with an ex?

17. Have you ever gotten revenge on someone who dumped you?

18. Have you ever broken up with someone because you liked someone else?

19. If your boyfriend broke up with you today, who’s the first person you would call?

20. When you’re sad about a breakup, do you write about it on your Facebook wall?

Take more surveys here!

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