Selena Gomez should know better than to mope in public after a breakup–even if it’s with Justin Bieber! | Source: WENN

Coping with a breakup is hard for anyone to deal with–especially celebs who have to deal with press asking questions and plastering pics of them and their exes all over the place. (Think Facebook drama multiplied by a million!)

Case in point: Selena Gomez was spotted sulking in a Hooter’s restaurant after her breakup with Justin Bieber. That’s gotta be rough in itself, let alone once you hear that people are going and telling everyone they saw you like that.

After a breakup, you’re angry, you’re sad, you’re lonely, and you feel like no one really gets it. Even if you did the dumping, you’re still probably pretty bummed out–at least a little bit.

While there’s no set formula to moving on from a breakup, there are a lot of things we totally know not to do if you really want to move past this rough time and get on on with your awesome life.

Here are our tips to you and Selena Gomez to move on from that dude who clearly wasn’t good enough for and didn’t deserve you. You can do better, but you won’t until you let yourself!

1. Don’t eat (or drink, or smoke) everything in sight!
Sure, those cookies and Ben and Jerry’s and hot wings (we’re lookin’ at you, Sel!) may seem appetizing now, and they might even make you feel a little bit better for a while. You may think drinking or smoking or doing some other substance may numb the pain. But here’s the thing: When the high–sugar or otherwise–is over, you’re going to feel even worse. Because not only are you dealing with a breakup, now you’re probably also sick to your stomach or worse.

If you want to treat yourself, by all means–you’re human, you’re awesome, and you deserve it. But if you’re using your treats as anesthesia for your emotions, it’s a problem. You’re pretty much putting a Band-Aid on a broken bone (or in this case, a broken heart). It may make it a little less ugly for a little while, but the problem is still there, and it’s not going to get better unless you actually deal with it instead of numbing yourself to it.

2. Don’t mope in public!
Selena Gomez, you should know better–you have a P.R. team! Even when you’re sad, you don’t need to show it in line at Starbucks or the halls at school. You know what’s gonna happen if you do? People are going to ask what’s wrong, and you’re not going to feel like explaining it all to them, right? Plus, you want to convey an air of confidence in light of the drama. You may actually care, but you don’t need the world to know (other than your diary and BFF!). If you’re really bummed, stay home–or at least slap on a smile if people are looking. You never know when a cute guy will be nearby looking for a pretty smile like yours!

3. Don’t force yourself to move on too soon after a breakup.
Rushing into a rebound relationship when you’re not over a breakup is a recipe for disaster–and will likely just lead to another messy breakup in the end. Give yourself some time to process why you and your ex didn’t work out. Keep a journal if you need to, and try to learn something from the split before you hop into a car with a cute guy just because he’s there.

4. Don’t badmouth your ex–or keep calling him!
It may feel good to tell everyone what a douchebag your ex is, but it’s only going to make you look hurt, bitter, and meanspirited. If anyone tries to bait you into talking smack, just say, “Justin is a great guy, but it just didn’t work out. Hey, did you see the Jets game this weekend? Now that was sad.”

And if you’re tempted to stay in contact with your ex after a breakup? Don’t. Even if you plan on being friends, which is great, forcing it too soon is only going to get messy. It’s a lot easier to move forward if you stop looking back. In a few months when you’re both in a better place, feel free to be buds. But by then, you probably will release that you don’t need him anyway! Remember: If he was so great, you’d still be together. And you’re not … so he’s not!

5. Don’t get jaded!
It’s tempting to look at “Forever Alone” comics and be convinced that you’ll never find anyone like your ex after a breakup. But here’s the thing: You won’t find anyone like your ex, and that’s a good thing–because if he’s your ex, he wasn’t right for you. Selena Gomez may never find another Justin Bieber, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t a ton of cool guys out there who wouldn’t treat her like a queen. And if you get jaded and bitter, you won’t find anyone period. Give yourself a week for every month you were together to dwell, mope, and listen to sad songs. When the last day is up, hide all reminders of him and move it along!

Have you ever had a hard time after a breakup? How do you deal with breakups? What’s your best way to move on after a breakup? Do you have any advice for Selena Gomez after her split with Justin Bieber? Tell us in the comments!

Next: The best relationship advice we got and gave in 2012!

And don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

Oh HELLO there, Daniel. | Source: FayesVision/WENN.com

1. Daniel Is A Hero
No, no. I’m not just talking about what he did to Voldemort. You might not know about this, but Daniel Radcliffe is a huge supporter of The Trevor Project, which champions LGBT youth and offers support to young people at risk of hurting themselves. We think the fact that he wants all people to be free to love whomever they want makes him beyond lovable himself!

2. He’s like, BFF with Emma Watson
You know, Emma Watson? The coolest girl ever? Right. If you dated Daniel Radcliffe, you’d probably get to hang out with Emma, too. And maybe meet her super good friend Ezra Miller (le swoon!).

3. Daniel listens to cool music
He’s into the Pixies and old school Weezer. If you’re already into these bands, you’ll have a ton to talk about. If you’re not? Get ready for some awesome mix tapes!

4. He’s super confident
Um, did you hear about that play that Daniel Radcliffe starred in? On Broadway? The one where he was totally naked on stage?! Right. That one. Well, he’s doing another nude scene in an upcoming movie, and all we have to say (besides “OMG, when is that coming out?!) is that we LOVE a confident man.

5. Nobody’s got eyes like Daniel Radcliffe
Have you seen those peepers? Yes, I know we’re being a bit superficial here, but you kind of can’t ignore eyes like his. They’re magical!

Are you happy that Daniel Radcliffe is single again? Would you go out with him if he asked you? Tell us what you think in the comments!

Here’s Why We Wouldn’t Want To Date Justin Bieber!

Catch Us On The Tweet Side!

ShutterStock.com

What’s weirder is that some people use Missed Connections, not to connect with a passing stranger, but to air out dirty laundry between them and their ex. I bet it’s a bit therapeutic to vent, even if that certain someone will never see it. I mean, even if they did, they still wouldn’t know you’re talking about them. After finding some of the weirder outbursts, I think some of these folks need to chill out. So here’s how NOT to get over your break up, courtesy Missed Connections.

Skip this Ad

Next

ADVERTISEMENT

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

What do you think about Missed Connections? Let us know in the comments!

Knowing how to break up can be hard, but knowing when to break up can be harder. | Source

While most schools offer some form of sex education (at least for now–a lot of budget cuts are happening), few actually deal with the messy aftermath of soured relationships. The “Break Up Summit” seminars are being held in Boston and 11 other cities nationwide as part of the Start Strong campaign, which seeks to promote healthy relationship habits for teens. The campaign isn’t just on how to break up, but also on why to break up, because the reasoning can be so murky.

Part of why the classes exist is because knowing how to break up can save you from other consequences of a crappy relationship that you might not even realize: your grades can slip because it’s hard to focus. What’s potentially worse is that you and your partner can both be depressed, which will only lead to more issues–low self-esteem (that can make you feel trapped and like you won’t ever find anyone better) and even possible unwanted pregnancies. That’s scary stuff, girls!

A lot of times–admit it!–you might wait til it gets really dramatic or hurtful before you decide to end things, right? But the seminars actually help you realize that a lot of times when it gets to that point, chances are you, your partner, or both of you have been unhappy for a while–it just takes some time to show. The Break Up Summit seminars encourage breaking up before one or both of your unhappiness leads to cheating, embarrassment, or, in more extreme (but still all too common) cases, violence. In fact, the experts behind the summits want you to learn how to break up before it gets to the point of infidelity, because cheating is often seen as an excuse for dating violence–and let’s be real: There is absolutely never ever an excuse for dating violence.

That doesn’t mean dating violence doesn’t happen, unfortunately. Close to 1 in 10 students reported that a boyfriend or girlfriend had physically hurt them in the past year–and keep in mind, those are only the ones who reported it. Even scarier? Once it starts, it sort of gets ingrained in you that it’s the norm. About 22 percent of adult women who were victims of rape, assault, dating violence, or stalking also experience some form of the same as teens. That’s why it’s super important to know how to break up in a respectful but firm way.

One way not to break up? Over Facebook. Changing your relationship status to “single” without talking it over with your partner first is a recipe for disaster, because not only is it a smack in the face to them, but it also makes rumors spread super fast and just creates a ton more drama that no one wants to deal with. Text messages aren’t much better, either, girls–you know how quickly and easily those can be forwarded?

If you’re looking for exactly how to break up, ideally, it’d be face to face and private before things got really ugly. However, if you’re afraid of a partner’s reaction, breaking the news to them gently but firmly in a public place–think a diner, coffee shop, or anywhere else that people will be around but not necessarily able to eavesdrop on you–is a good bet. If you’re really scared, though, you’ll want a more solid plan on how to break up and stay safe. If you’re in an abusive relationship and not sure how to break up, get help and make a plan here.

Do you think it’s a good idea to teach classes on how to break up? What was your worst breakup like? How did you learn how to break up? Tell us in the comments!

Here’s How NOT To Break Up!

ShutterStock.com

We’re not sure that there’s a cure for that besides time and some serious self-reflection, but until the clock ticks away there are always some pretty helpful distractions.

Turn up the Adele, grab a box of Oreos, and pick up the phone–don’t worry you won’t be needing too many Kleenex. Here’s how to get over him by getting under Siri–your new BFF. Got dumped? Yeah, there’s an app for that; we found nine.

Distract Yourself With . . .
 

Songza

Have you ever been dumped or rejected? Let us know in the comments!

 
Most of us have dealt with a broken heart. And if you haven’t yet, the sad truth is that you’ll probably be a card carrying member of the Heart Break Club soon enough. But before you curl into a corner or watch that sappy rom com again, check out Meg’s 5 tips on how to deal with a broken heart. They’ll make you feel a lot better than the plot of any Katherine Heigl movie. Guaranteed.

Have you had a broken heart? how do you help a friend when her heart is broken? Tell us everything in the comments!

Can’t Get Over Him? Here’s Solid Help That Works!

Pretty sure Brittany from Glee can relate to this...

I totally understand why you feel a little odd explaining to your ex-boyfriend that, uh, you’re kind of not that into boys anymore. While this might be a totally awkward conversation for you two, it’s one that you should definitely have. I think it’s so great that you and your ex are on good terms, but if you want to stay on those good terms, being honest with him about something like this is completely necessary.

Imagine how he would feel if he heard you were dating a girl through someone else. He would probably feel confused, upset and totally annoyed that you didn’t tell him yourself. Basically, him hearing about this from anyone but you is going to make this a much more difficult situation.

If he's a good friend, he'll be happy for you.

So, call up your ex and tell him you need to talk to him. If you feel really uncomfortable talking to him face-to-face or even on the phone, feel free to write him a letter explaining everything – that might be the best way to get your feelings out. But no matter how you do it, just be honest. Explain that your sexual preferences have changed and you’re now dating a girl. Let him know that it has nothing to do with him, how he treated you or what kind of boyfriend he was. You don’t have to go into detail of how you and your GF ended up together if you don’t want to; just finish the convo by telling him you’re really happy now and you hope that you two can keep up your friendship.

Honestly, even after you’ve explained everything, there’s a possibility that your ex might still feel like he had something to do with you becoming gay. If he does, try not to stress about it. One day he’ll realize that it really did have nothing to do with him. The important thing here is that you’re happy with your lifestyle, not that other people are okay with it.

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

How do you react when your BFF becomes a frenemy? Heather gives some advice.

Telling People You Are Gay

You won't be heartbroken forever!

I’m really sorry that your relationship didn’t work out. Breakups are tough, and it can be super hard to get over your ex. I know how much you want to be over the whole situation and feel better, but it’s okay to be sad for a little while! It’s totally normal to feel heartbroken. That being said, it is possible to move on, and even if it takes some time, I know you’ll be okay in the end.

Like I said, it’s okay to cry about him – a lot. Give yourself some time to just feel sad, but don’t alienate yourself from everyone around you. This is the perfect time to lean on your friends – as much as you might not want to be around people, hanging out with them will make you smile and remind you that you have tons of things to be happy about.

Can this kit be real?

As far as if your ex misses you as much as you miss him, I unfortunately can’t answer that. But as hard as it may be, don’t focus on him. Try not to think about how he’s feeling or what he’s thinking: you have to take care of yourself. It doesn’t matter how much he misses you or doesn’t miss you, and if you think about that all the time, you’re going to end up driving yourself crazy.

Take this time to just focus on yourself. Do what makes you happiest: watch your favorite movies, eat an entire carton of Ben & Jerry’s, put a lot of time into a hobby you love. At the moment, you don’t have to think about anyone’s happiness but your own, and that can be a really great feeling! When you’re feeling really down, remind yourself of the good things in your life, and remember that being single really isn’t as bad as you might think.

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

If you love your BF, but miss being single, check out this advice.

 
Get Over A Breakup
 

Without heartbreak in the world, what would singers write their songs about?!

Hi Heather,

I have a boyfriend that I really don’t like anymore but I don’t wanna dump him. I’ve been dumped before and I know how it feels. But I also don’t wanna be the one that gets dumped. How can I break up with him without breaking his heart?

Here’s the ugly truth: break-ups are never fun, and they’re never going to be fun. It doesn’t matter how long you dated someone, or what the situation is, break ups are the worst—for both people involved. I wish I could tell you there was a way to get out of a relationship without hurting anybody’s feelings, but um, there usually isn’t. I can tell you this, though: staying with someone you don’t like isn’t just hurting you, it’s also keeping the person you’re dating from finding someone who might be totally psyched and happy to date them. You see how that’s not really fair?

Aside from keeping your guy or girl from a really happy relationship—you’re also kind of making yourself miserable, and relationships should make you happy, not miserable! For another thing, he’ll probably be able to pick up on the fact that something is wrong—and if he ever finds out that you’re with him out of pity,  that might hurt even more than a break-up would.

Not every breakup has to be as dramatic as Rihanna's in We Found Love

The most respectful way to break up is in person—I mean, you wouldn’t want a text or FB message saying you and some guy were splitzo, would you? Tell him you care about him, but your feelings have changed. Keep it short and simple, and try not to blame him for the relationship going south. As for the old “let’s still be friends” cliche, only say it if you really mean it—and be prepared for him to want to never see you again. Sometimes having your heart broken makes a friendship impossible.

Even if you say and do all those things, I can’t promise that it will be easy. Sometimes the nicest words can be said during a break-up, but the fact remains that it is just a hard thing to go through. This guy might be upset, and his heart might be broken, you’re doing the best thing for both of you by splitting it off with him now. One day he’ll get over your fabulous self and you’ll both find other fabulous people to be with. Until then . . .

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

Anyway, Emma Stone, who I’ve thought is all shades of fabulous since her killer role in Superbad, hosted the show and she totally delivered. Even with a soup to nuts hilarious show, there was one sketch that stood out in a major way to me–the sobbing to Adele‘s “Someone Like You” sketch. Take a looksie.

The first time I heard the song was about forty-five minutes after I saw on Facebook that an ex of mine was with another woman…and I lost it. Lost. It. Like see how Bill Hader’s face is covered in mascara? Mine looked more like I’d face planted in a tar pit. And I wear waterproof mascara.

The song totally hits me where it hurts, but sometimes it’s exactly what I need. Whenever I’m craving a little emotional release, I’ll put the song on repeat and head to Sobtown with a box of tissues. Sometimes I’ll even double whammy with that Dear Sophie Lee Google Chrome commercial. Glad to know that I’m not the only one. I’m not, right? Someone else is watching that Google Chrome commercial and crying too, right? RIGHT?

Do you cry to Adele? What’s your emo song? Any other instant tear jerkers? Let us know in the comments.
Adele’s Someone Like You sketch