If you’re worried that your boyfriend (or girlfriend) may be feeling this way and is just unwilling to end the relationship, I’ve put together some things you should be looking out for. While I don’t want you girls getting crazy over this list (if one thing applies to your BF, please don’t assume it’s over), it’s important to realize that there are some tell-tale signs to watch for if you’re worried about your relationship ending. Take a look at these 8 signs that your boyfriend may want to break up with you. Then, please, talk to him.

Skip this Ad

Next

ADVERTISEMENT

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

He's Acting Super Distant

If your boyfriend suddenly has little to no time for you, this could be a major warning sign. Unless he's just gotten a new, time-consuming job or something like that, he could be purposely putting distance between you two. Try to look for a pattern. Are you the one who's always calling him? Has he stopped answering your phone calls or started ignoring your texts? Is he breaking plans at the last minute or just not making them altogether? If it happens once in a while, he could just be genuinely busy. If it happens a lot, on a regular basis, there could be something else going on.

Source: ShutterStock

He's Been Keeping Secrets

Your boyfriend should always be honest and open with you - after all, the key to a good relationship is honesty. If your BF has started keeping secrets from you and you've been catching him in a lot of lies, something could be up. Try to talk to him and ask him to be more honest with you. If he shows no interest in changing or continues to keep secrets after that, it could be a sign that he's ready for things to end.

Source: ShutterStock

He Starts Fights Over Everything

Fighting happens in every relationship. If you and your BF have been dating for a long time, it's natural to bicker over little things or have disagreements from time to time. It's not natural for your boyfriend to be picking fights over every little thing. Do you feel like you can never do anything right? Does he blame you for everything? Does he seem annoyed at everything you do? Ask yourself those questions - if the answer is an overwhelming yes, that's no good.

Source: ShutterStock

He's Quiet About The Future

Dudes who are happy in their relationships aren't scared to talk about the future. They're willing to make concert or vacation plans months in advance, they chat about things they want to do together next summer, stuff like that. But if they don't actually see a future for you two, they're probably not going to talk about it. Pay attention to his attitude when you talk about the future - if he gets weird, annoyed or distant and gives you wishy-washy answers, something's wrong.

Source: ShutterStock

He's Not As Into Hooking Up

There comes a point in every long-term relationship where you stop hooking up as much as you did when you first started going out. That's fine and totally normal! But there should still be at least some passion happening. If your guy is never interested in getting frisky, it could mean something bad.

Source: ShutterStock

He's Shady On Facebook

Social media can hold some serious clues for where your relationship is headed. Did your BF make this relationship status private for no reason whatsoever? Did he recently change his profile pic from one of you two to one of just him? Does he ignore your comments or chat up other girls more than he used to? Each of these things on their own may not mean much, but all of them at once? That's shady and not cool.

Source: ShutterStock

He's Said It Before

This one may seem completely obvious, but just listen up: if you guys have gotten into some pretty big fights and your BF threatens to break up with you but then doesn't... that's not always good. Sure, sometimes it may just be something he says to be dramatic in the moment, but combined with these other signs, it could mean he's actually serious - he's just afraid to go through with it. If he threatens it or hints at it during a fight and then you two make up, pay attention to how he is afterwards. If he says he didn't mean it, it could be nothing. But if he still seems weird... it could mean a lot.

Source: ShutterStock

Go With Your Gut

What do you think is going on? In these cases, it's usually best to listen to yourself and trust your gut. If you've had a strong feeling for a while now that your boyfriend might want to end things, you may not just be feeling paranoid. It's completely possible to pick up on subtle clues, so if your brain is screaming that something is wrong, listen up! If something feels really wrong, you need to talk to your boyfriend.

Source: ShutterStock

Disclaimer: I don’t know your boyfriend. I don’t know if he wants to break up with you. The only way you’re ever going to know for sure if he wants to break up is if you talk to him about things honestly. Please don’t read this and automatically assume your boyfriend wants to end things.

Do any of these warning signs seem familiar to you? What would you do if you thought your boyfriend was going to break up with you? Tell me in the comments. 

How to handle your first breakup

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter

Source: Shutterstock

The first was an eight year disaster. I’m talking a totally tumultuous relationship with lying, cheating and borderline abusiveness on his end. We would break up for months, even years at a time. But even when we were apart we were still very emotionally together. Even when we dated other people, there was this cosmic attachment that we couldn’t get rid of.

The second was a three year disaster. This relationship was much healthier compared to the previous, but still had big issues. We were together through the majority of my college years. He had quite the temper and wasn’t ready for a mature relationship. We would break up and get back together every time we had a fight, which was basically every other weekend.

On-and-off relationships are the hardest kind to break because often there’s history. There’s this thing that keeps you coming back. No matter how many times you say you won’t go back, you will. No matter how many times your friends tell you to end it, you won’t. It’s a weird relationship science. And it warps your brain. If you break up, you know you’ll get back together. If you get back together, you know you’ll break up. You get stuck in this strange, yet comfortable cycle.

With my first one, I finally realized that if he really loved and cared about me, he wouldn’t be doing all of these horrible things. He wouldn’t cheat on me, disappear for months, yell at me, call me terrible names or any of that if he truly loved me. You don’t treat someone you love that way. I should have realized it so much sooner, but I was trying to prove everyone wrong including myself. I thought I could fix it. Once it clicked that it had nothing to do with me, that he wasn’t going to change, I was able to let it go.

My second was a little different. I was with this person when I was sick, and he took really good care of me. And the first year of our relationship was great. But once I got healthy and got back to doing the things I wanted to do, it took a turn for the worst. I felt like I owed him, like I had to be in this relationship.

I really did love this person, but I had to sit down and write a pro-con list. I had to see if the bad days outweighed the good days. And they did, by an overwhelming amount. If you’re not happy with someone on the majority of days you’re together, then it needs to stop. I understood that the relationship was getting worse instead of better, and it was time to officially be over.

The on-and-off relationship is like a vase. If it breaks, you can put it back together. But every time it breaks again, it gets harder and harder to fix. At some point you’re going to look at that vase, realize you can’t put it back together and throw it away.

Have you ever been in an on-and-off relationship? How did you end it? Are you in one currently? Are you trying to end it? Tell me in the comments!

Is your boyfriend getting really jealous?

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

There are many right ways to break those ties. | Source: Shutterstock

So, ladies, before you start breaking hearts, read my list of ways to break up with him depending on what’s going on with you two. The whole break up process will still suck (sorry about that), but at least you’ll have a road map to get you through.

If You’ve Been On A Couple Dates
If you’ve been on three dates or less, or have been dating for less than a month, I think it’s okay to just call him and tell him you don’t think this is working out for you, and it’s better to be friends. You weren’t necessarily boyfriend and and girlfriend yet anyway, so it’s okay not to have the big, serious, in-person break up talk.

If You’re Just Not Into It Anymore
Maybe you were head over heels about seven months ago, but now? Not so much. Just because your feelings have moved on doesn’t mean his have, which is why you need to handle this one really carefully. Definitely see him in person, alone, on his turf (having him over to your place and then making him leave after is way cruel!). Tell him you need to have a serious talk and explain that you care about him but don’t think the relationship is working for you anymore. Don’t indulge him in a “final kiss” or tell him if there’s someone else you’re interested in, because honestly, none of that matters. All that matters is that this isn’t working for you, and if he cares about you, he’ll eventually see that this break up is for the best–even if he’s super crushed at first.

If He Cheated On You
You might still be totally in love with him, but cheating is a major deal breaker for a lot of girls (including me, I’ve got to say!) and so you might want to call it quits when you find out he’s been sneaking around with someone else. If that’s the case, I still think you should do it in person if possible–and tell him exactly why it’s over. He didn’t hold up his end of the relationship, and if he’d really wanted you, well then, he wouldn’t have been with her. Done and done. No need to make apologies or be super nice with this one, but DO avoid blaming the other girl. It’s not her fault your dude is a snake!

If He’s Abusive
It’s best not to do this break up in person. Have a family member or friend with you when you call him, and tell him that you aren’t happy anymore in the relationship, and you need to break up. Some emotionally abusive guys might threaten to hurt themselves if you’re ending the relationship–and if your guy does this, have your friend call 911 to send help his way. You’re breaking up with him so he won’t have this kind of control over you anymore, remember?! And if he’s physically abusive and says he’s coming over to find you (or threatens you in some other way), also call 911. Love shouldn’t hurt like that, and that’s why you’re ditching him.

What do you think about these break up techniques? Have you ever had to break up with someone? How’d you do it? Tell me in the comments!

And Here’s How You SHOULDN’T Break Up With Him

Follow Us On Twitter!

Tough love alert! Should you take him back?! Hmm, well, Sara’s helping a girl deal with a break up that just won’t stick. She keeps getting back together with her ex and she wants to know how she can tell if she should really trust him again. Well, Sara’s got three words for this girl, “one and done.” As in, break up with him once and never get back together with him again. It’s tough to hear, but Sara will walk you through how to break up and stay broken with your ex.

Do you think it’s ever okay to take him back? Would you take a guy back? Tell us in the comments!

How To Get Mom And Dad To Like Your Guy

Follow Us On Twitter!

Source: Shutterstock

Read on, sad girlfriend, and we’ll take you from disaster to a whole lot better.

When it comes to his ex, Zayn looks the other way. | Source: Daniel Deme/WENN.com

While it’s true that one of my best friends is an ex-boyfriend of mine, and I think it’s good to part ways on good terms whenever possible–sometimes that’s simply not possible and that’s okay, too.

Most of us have plenty of friends (or at least could make new ones if we wanted to). So, if you and your dude were never friends outside your relationship, how exactly are you going to form a “just friends” relationship once you split? It’s hard! I’m not saying it can’t happen (in fact, I’m proof that it can) but it is hard sometimes.

Which is why I think it’s totally fine and normal for One Direction’s Zayn Malik to admit that he and his ex, fellow X-Factor alum Rebecca Ferguson, just don’t communicate. He said, “It did end quite badly, so we don’t talk anymore.”

Honestly, I think that’s a super respectful way for him to put it. He’s not placing blame. He’s not pointing fingers, he’s just saying, “Look, it was bad, now it’s over, and we’re through. Really.”

Sometimes a clean break really is the best thing.

What do you think, girls? Do you think you should try to be friends with your exes, or is that a waste of time? Tell me in the comments!

Maybe Katy Perry Should Follow Zayn’s Example!

Catch Us On The Tweet Side!

Get it out some other way, girl! | Source: Shutterstock

Raise your hand if you ever had a bad break up…

One minute we find the love of our lives. The next minute homeboy is walking away with someone else. The world is not all bubbles and cake, Sugar!

It HURTS when someone we love lies, cheats on us, betrays us or finds another fun way to stomp on our feelings. It’s a “break up” because the “we” of us is hacked in half. They call it
a “broken heart” because we feel split open. We just want the pain to stop.
We cry out our misery to sad songs, in weepy poems, to our BFFs and the lady at the bus stop.
Then, the devil on your shoulder says, “You know what? We could totally get revenge on this
loser!” Yeah…

STOP! Here’s why revenge is not your best option…

5. You’re better than that!
Everyone does the best they can at the moment. Now you’re all, “If that’s his best I’d hate to see
his worst.” Just because some dude is a slimeball doesn’t mean that you have to get slimy with
him. At some point you chose that slimeball for yourself. Instead of focusing on revenge ask yourself, “How can I make better choices in the future?”

4. Karma aka The Golden Rule.
Ever heard the saying “what goes around comes around?” That’s karma. There’s no need to
make someone pay. Karma kinda evens the world out. You may be thinking, but karma takes
too long and I wanna see them suffer. Before you shout, “Look karma, you forgot someone,” move forward. Whatever your beliefs, let the universe handle it. Treat folks like you want to be treated.

3. Your health.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that if you’re a human being dating other human beings,
sooner or later someone is going to screw you over. (And not always in a good way! lol)
Plotting revenge might feel like temporary relief from crying on the kitchen floor. However, all
that negative energy surging through your body is AWFUL for your health. Payback can weaken
your immune system, raise your heart rate and cause stressful breakouts. Bitterness ain’t cute.

2. You don’t have TIME.
Okay, between planning an outfit for next weekend’s party, catching up on PLL, and beating your little brother (again) at World of Warcraft, when the hell do you think you have time to plot some elaborate revenge scheme?! Whether you know it or not, you’ve got WAY better ways to spend your time than on this chump. Hasn’t he already wasted enough of your time as it is?

1. Living well is the best revenge.
Don’t be mad that it’s over. Be glad that it happened. Grieve the loss of the relationship and
move on. Channel the love you had for the other person into more sweet, juicy love for yourself. Then, keep jamming as the bright, shiny light you are. As P!nk would say, “So what! You’re still a rock star.” Rock on.

Okay, now it’s time to be super honest. Have you ever plotted revenge on an ex? Tell me in the comments!

You DO NOT Want To Do What This Girl Did!

Catch Us On The Tweet Side!

Source: Shutterstock

I was in the car with my best guy friend, and the topic of relationships came up. I told him about the guy I had just started seeing, he said he thought the dude seemed cool, and then I asked about my friend’s girlfriend.

He’d been dating her for about five months, and although he said he really liked her, he thought he liked her more as a friend than anything else. “But . . . she’s said she loves you, right?,” I asked. “Yes,” he said. That’s the problem. I don’t think it’s fair to her to keep things going since I don’t feel the same way, so I should break it off.” Seemed rational–but since everyone knows breaking up is tricky, I had to ask how he was going to handle it. (She was a friend of mine, too, and I wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to be a jerk!)

“Oh, well, obviously I’ll just be honest,” he said. “You know, I’ll tell her that I just know I’d never ever be able to love her. You know? Because it’s impossible for me to love her. And that’ll be it!”

WOAH. Right?! Honesty is important, but that just seemed plain cruel. I suggested that maybe he tone it down a little and say something more along the lines of her feelings being stronger than his. He took my advice and to this day they’re still friends. Somehow I don’t think that’d be the case if he’d gone with his original plan!

What’s the worst thing you’ve heard a guy say when he broke up with a girl? Tell me in the comments!

Catch Us On The Tweet Side!

Knowing how to break up can be hard, but knowing when to break up can be harder. | Source

While most schools offer some form of sex education (at least for now–a lot of budget cuts are happening), few actually deal with the messy aftermath of soured relationships. The “Break Up Summit” seminars are being held in Boston and 11 other cities nationwide as part of the Start Strong campaign, which seeks to promote healthy relationship habits for teens. The campaign isn’t just on how to break up, but also on why to break up, because the reasoning can be so murky.

Part of why the classes exist is because knowing how to break up can save you from other consequences of a crappy relationship that you might not even realize: your grades can slip because it’s hard to focus. What’s potentially worse is that you and your partner can both be depressed, which will only lead to more issues–low self-esteem (that can make you feel trapped and like you won’t ever find anyone better) and even possible unwanted pregnancies. That’s scary stuff, girls!

A lot of times–admit it!–you might wait til it gets really dramatic or hurtful before you decide to end things, right? But the seminars actually help you realize that a lot of times when it gets to that point, chances are you, your partner, or both of you have been unhappy for a while–it just takes some time to show. The Break Up Summit seminars encourage breaking up before one or both of your unhappiness leads to cheating, embarrassment, or, in more extreme (but still all too common) cases, violence. In fact, the experts behind the summits want you to learn how to break up before it gets to the point of infidelity, because cheating is often seen as an excuse for dating violence–and let’s be real: There is absolutely never ever an excuse for dating violence.

That doesn’t mean dating violence doesn’t happen, unfortunately. Close to 1 in 10 students reported that a boyfriend or girlfriend had physically hurt them in the past year–and keep in mind, those are only the ones who reported it. Even scarier? Once it starts, it sort of gets ingrained in you that it’s the norm. About 22 percent of adult women who were victims of rape, assault, dating violence, or stalking also experience some form of the same as teens. That’s why it’s super important to know how to break up in a respectful but firm way.

One way not to break up? Over Facebook. Changing your relationship status to “single” without talking it over with your partner first is a recipe for disaster, because not only is it a smack in the face to them, but it also makes rumors spread super fast and just creates a ton more drama that no one wants to deal with. Text messages aren’t much better, either, girls–you know how quickly and easily those can be forwarded?

If you’re looking for exactly how to break up, ideally, it’d be face to face and private before things got really ugly. However, if you’re afraid of a partner’s reaction, breaking the news to them gently but firmly in a public place–think a diner, coffee shop, or anywhere else that people will be around but not necessarily able to eavesdrop on you–is a good bet. If you’re really scared, though, you’ll want a more solid plan on how to break up and stay safe. If you’re in an abusive relationship and not sure how to break up, get help and make a plan here.

Do you think it’s a good idea to teach classes on how to break up? What was your worst breakup like? How did you learn how to break up? Tell us in the comments!

Here’s How NOT To Break Up!

What can I say, breaking up is tough! | Source: ShutterStock

Breaking up with someone is a pretty personal thing. It should be done in person, while looking the other person in the face and explaining the truth to them. It shouldn’t be done online, over the phone, through text messages or via Facebook relationship statuses. But the most major no-no of all is definitely having someone else do it for you. I wish someone had explained this to my 14-year-old self, but no one ever did (or maybe I just didn’t want to listen), because the first time I dumped someone, I totally messed up. Here’s my story:

I met my very first boyfriend ever, let’s call him D, when I was a freshmen in high school. After months of flirting online during all hours of the night, D and I finally got together. And by that, I mean D finally took the plunge and asked me to be his girlfriend – over AOL Instant Messenger, of course. I know, super romantic, right?

After years spent putting my Catholic school education to good use and praying for a boyfriend every night (I literally cringe thinking about that), I was ecstatic to finally be someone’s girlfriend. It wasn’t even about hanging out with him, hooking up or having someone to lean on. Nah, it was more about decorating my AIM profile with “our date” surrounded by little hearts and stars, and getting to casually throw in “My boyfriend said…” when talking to anyone in the universe. Thinking back, maybe I wasn’t really ready for a relationship.

It might be scary, but it’s best to do it yourself. | Source: ShutterStock

Anyway, D and I were as smitten with each other as two very young, immature people can be. We dated for a month, but during that time, I think we only hung out once. We spent most of our time talking and flirting on (you guessed it) AIM and sometimes on the phone. Obviously, we said “I love you”, even though neither of us really understood those words. But we didn’t hang out with the same group of people, we had opposite schedules and we really had nothing in common except for the fact that we went to the same school.

Around the time of our one-month anniversary, I started getting bored. Yeah, calling D my BF and getting to put up cutesy away messages was cool and all, but I barely saw the guy. When I went to parties with my friends, I noticed cute dudes all around me. How was I supposed to flirt with them when I was supposed to be in love with someone else? It didn’t take long to realize that I was so over D.

The next week at school, I confessed my feelings to my best friend. I told her I wanted to end things, but I was scared.

“OMG. Let me do it! I can do it for you. It’ll be so much easier,” she said, way too excited by this idea.

At first, I told her no. But then I thought about IMing D later to tell him I didn’t want to see him anymore. I thought about the awkwardness of that convo. Did I really want to do that? Nah, not really. So, I let my BFF do my dirty work.

Right before the school day ended, she found D at his locker. She poked him on the back. “Jessica doesn’t want to go out with you anymore,” she said.

“Why?” he asked, totally confused.

Yeah… not exactly my reaction. | Source: ShutterStock

“I don’t know. She just doesn’t. So I’m breaking up with you for her.”

And that was the end of that – D and I were officially over. I stayed off AIM for a few days and ignored his angry looks in the hallway. By the end of the week, everyone in school knew my BFF had dumped him for me… and everyone teased me about it. Plus, D kind of hated me forever.

I know it was a really long time ago, but I still feel kind of guilty about it to this day. Okay, yeah, my friends and I laugh about it constantly, but still… that is definitely not the way to end things with anybody. Take it from me: man up and do it yourself.

Have you ever broken up with someone? How did you do it? What was your first breakup like? Tell us in the comments!

 Can this app tell you when to break up with someone?

Follow us on Twitter for more awesomeness!