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Check out what’s new on our boards! Right now, girls are talking about how to deal when your boyfriend says he’s bisexual:

KaylaMay said:

My boyfriend is bisexual. Can someone help me? Today, my boyfriend told me he has had sex with a guy… but a couple of days ago he told me he was a virgin. I’m getting really uncomfortable. What should I do?

How would you deal if your boyfriend told you he was bisexual? Do you think it’s a big deal or it shouldn’t matter? What advice would you give this girl?

Got something to add to this convo? Then go for it, girl! Let this girl know what you think about her situation right here.

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.

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Well, you’ve come to the right place, as I happen to have firsthand experience with this subject. Take comfort knowing that a former girlfriend of mine actually dated a girl before she started going out with me, which obviously didn’t stop us from getting together!

As I’ve written about before, some guys are actually into lesbians. And while you’re obviously not gay, I know that even more guys (i.e. most guys) are anything but turned off by girls who have had homosexual experiences.

I recommend that you act towards this guy as if you were a typical straight girl. By that, I don’t mean that you should deny your female relationship or be ashamed of it in any way – I give you props for simply pursuing whoever you share a connection with. But if this guy is cool enough to actually date you, he shouldn’t be fazed by your past experimentation. So you should go after him as any heterosexual would.

There are plenty of ways to signal to a guy that you like him. (Check out my post on how to flirt with a guy by clicking HERE). If he’s still not getting the message, or you’d like to be a little bit more open with him, find a way to hint at your interest in dudes while he’s around. For example, you can casually refer to a previous relationship with a guy. Or, of course, you can also always mention outright in his presence that you’re bisexual. Sometimes honesty, paired with a little directed flirtation, just works best!

Good luck!
Ethan

Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of ActualConversation.com. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell.com…or call his mom, Robin.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!

How do you come out to your friends and family?

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It’s great that you feel ready to open about your sexuality to your family and friends. I can completely understand feeling scared or nervous about this – it’s a big step to take and can be very scary. While this may not be an easy thing for you to go through, I think you’ll feel better once you get this off your chest. I can’t promise that absolutely everyone will accept you for who you are immediately, but I can tell you that continuing to keep your sexuality a secret is something that will make you unhappy. It’s better to be honest with everyone when you’re ready.

Now, how do you tell people? I would start by telling the person you feel most comfortable with, whether that’s your mom, your grandma or your best friend. Telling one person who you feel really close to will probably help you tell everyone else – it’s good practice. Let this person know that you really want to share something important with them that’s a pretty big deal to you. There’s no simple way to go about this – you pretty much just have to come out and say, “I’m bisexual.” You can go into whatever detail you want, that’s up to you. Explain that you’re telling them because they’re an important part of your life and you would love if they could accept your sexuality.

Once you tell that one person, start figuring out who else you want to tell personally. Do it however you want, whether it’s in a group or individually. Let everyone know that this is an important part of who you are and you don’t want to have to hide your sexuality anymore.

Honestly, there may be some people in your life who don’t want to accept this about you. Please remember that that is their problem, not yours. You didn’t do anything wrong by admitting that you’re bisexual and there’s nothing wrong with being bisexual. If that’s something they don’t agree with, then they need to figure it out on their own. You have to continue to do what makes you happy, regardless of how others feel.

Good luck! Coming out takes a lot of courage and it’s really admirable that you’re ready to take that step. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad about who you are, and lean on the people who support you. You can’t change who you are and you never need to defend your sexuality.

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

How to deal with lesbian rumors

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Check out what’s new on our boards! Right now, girls are talking about bisexuality.

Kissthestars said:

Okay, so my crush came out as bi to me today. I really love him more than anything. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, but the thing is, he has fooled around with guys more than girls… but has only ever been out with girls. I don’t know what to do, help me someone!

Got something to add to this convo? Then go for it, gurl! Give her some advice and share your own story in the boards!

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.

Do you think you’re born with your sexuality?

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter

Pretty sure Brittany from Glee can relate to this...

I totally understand why you feel a little odd explaining to your ex-boyfriend that, uh, you’re kind of not that into boys anymore. While this might be a totally awkward conversation for you two, it’s one that you should definitely have. I think it’s so great that you and your ex are on good terms, but if you want to stay on those good terms, being honest with him about something like this is completely necessary.

Imagine how he would feel if he heard you were dating a girl through someone else. He would probably feel confused, upset and totally annoyed that you didn’t tell him yourself. Basically, him hearing about this from anyone but you is going to make this a much more difficult situation.

If he's a good friend, he'll be happy for you.

So, call up your ex and tell him you need to talk to him. If you feel really uncomfortable talking to him face-to-face or even on the phone, feel free to write him a letter explaining everything – that might be the best way to get your feelings out. But no matter how you do it, just be honest. Explain that your sexual preferences have changed and you’re now dating a girl. Let him know that it has nothing to do with him, how he treated you or what kind of boyfriend he was. You don’t have to go into detail of how you and your GF ended up together if you don’t want to; just finish the convo by telling him you’re really happy now and you hope that you two can keep up your friendship.

Honestly, even after you’ve explained everything, there’s a possibility that your ex might still feel like he had something to do with you becoming gay. If he does, try not to stress about it. One day he’ll realize that it really did have nothing to do with him. The important thing here is that you’re happy with your lifestyle, not that other people are okay with it.

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

How do you react when your BFF becomes a frenemy? Heather gives some advice.

Telling People You Are Gay

Just one of the openly bisexual celebs we heart.

Did you gURLs know that today, Oct. 11, is National Coming Out Day? Well, we do, and we decided to celebrate in our own way: by celebrating our favorite bisexual or lesbian gURL celebrities. Whether these stars are in a relationship with a gURL or a guy (some are even happily married to men), all have one thing in common — they’ve proudly admitted their sexuality to the world.

We hope that reading what these celebs had to say about their sexual orientation inspires you to feel comfortable with your own. So check ‘em out, and then tell us your coming out story in the comments below.

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Definition of a meatball mash-up.

gURLs making out with other gURLs is kind of old news. From celeb publicity stunts to reality shows, we’ve pretty much all seen our share of gURL-on-gURL action. But that still didn’t stop us from being a little surprised at seeing BFF’s Snooki and Deena making out on this week’s episode of Jersey Shore.

During the ep, which was appropriately titled ‘Meatball Mash-up’,  Snooki and Deena drank a tad too much and found themselves making out for hours. Even after Deena’s “lesbionic experience” a few episodes before, some of the cast-mates were still totally freaked out.

It got us thinking – have you ever made out with your BFF just for fun? Do your gURLfriends ever kiss each other? Do you think when gURLs drink, they’re more likely to do something like this? Did Snooki and Deena’s kiss weird you out or do you think it’s totally normal? Discuss below!

This is one gURL who totally hates labels.

We  were so excited when we heard that Amber Heard came out of the closet three years ago and announced she was dating photographer Tasya Van Ree. But just because she has a serious gURLfriend doesn’t mean Amber wants to be labeled as anything, whether it’s bisexual, lesbian, or straight. And why should she be?

The actress recently did an interview with Playboy, where she said, “First of all, to say I came out implies that I was once in. Let me be straight about that – no pun intended [laughs] – I never came out from anywhere. I’ve always lived my life the way I’ve wanted and have been honest with myself and everyone around me.”

She goes on to say the only thing that bothered her about coming out was the media attention: “For someone like me who prefers to keep her life as private as possible, it has been disconcerting to have to define so much about myself. I don’t want to be labeled as one thing or another. In the past I’ve had successful relationships with men, and now I’m in this successful relationship with a woman. When it comes to love, I am totally open. And I don’t want to be put into a category, as in ‘I’m this’ or ‘I’m that’.”

We love Amber’s message — everyone should be free to be who they want without having a label attached. WDYT, gURLs? Do you agree? Are you into labels or do you wish people didn’t use them? Do you think dating another gURL makes you a lesbian? Discuss below!

Lady Gaga... um, we mean Jo Calderone

We’ve seen Lady Gaga show up on the red carpet in an egg, cover herself in fake blood, and wear actual red meat, but maybe one of her most talked-about performances yet was at this year’s MTV VMAs, where she showed up dressed as (and performed as) a man.

Gaga spent the entire night dressed as ‘Jo Calderone’, her straight male alter-ego, whom she also dressed as for a recent Vogue Japan photo spread. And in typical Gaga fashion, she even said a few crazy things — including talking about Britney Spears and saying, “I used to hang posters of her on my wall and touch myself.”

She won a Moon Man for Best Female Video, and during her acceptance speech, she said, ”I feel so blessed to be here, and it’s true. It doesn’t matter who you are. Gay, straight, bi, lesbian, transgender – you were born this way. God bless you.” We definitely LOVE that statement.

Watch Gaga’s entire gender-bending performance below:

WDYT, gURLs? Did you like Gaga’s performance? Do you think she sent a positive message? Do you think it was way too weird of her to dress as a guy? Discuss below! 

D's shirt!

Okay, it’s not what you think — unless you think like we do: That gURLs are awesome.

Teen.com reports that  Dianna Agron wore a shirt that said “Likes Girls” to a Glee concert on Sunday. When people starting freaking out about her being gay, the gURL cleared up what her shirt really meant.

|Do you like other gURLs in that way? What a coincidence! So do lots of other gURLs on the Shout Out Boards!|

Said D, “Yesterday, during our second show, Instead of wearing my usual shirt during ‘Born This Way’ I decided to wear one that said ‘Likes Girls’. It should actually have read, ‘Loves Girls,’ because I do. The women in my life give me things that the men in my life can’t. And vice-versa.” [sic]

Dianna continued, “No, I am not a lesbian, yet if I were, I hope that the people in my life could embrace it whole-heartedly. And let me tell you, I can easily spill (quite comfortable) what I admire, respect and think is beautiful about any of the women in my life. Piece of cake!” [sic]

|Wondering if could you be bi? Take the quiz and find out!|

Amazing message, right? What do you think of Dianna wearing a “Likes Girls” shirt? Do you think it was to get a rise out of people, maybe just a little bit? Would you ever wear a shirt like that? Discuss!

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