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Check out what’s new on our boards! Right now, girls are talking about how to deal when your boyfriend says he’s bisexual:

KaylaMay said:

My boyfriend is bisexual. Can someone help me? Today, my boyfriend told me he has had sex with a guy… but a couple of days ago he told me he was a virgin. I’m getting really uncomfortable. What should I do?

How would you deal if your boyfriend told you he was bisexual? Do you think it’s a big deal or it shouldn’t matter? What advice would you give this girl?

Got something to add to this convo? Then go for it, girl! Let this girl know what you think about her situation right here.

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.

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Well, you’ve come to the right place, as I happen to have firsthand experience with this subject. Take comfort knowing that a former girlfriend of mine actually dated a girl before she started going out with me, which obviously didn’t stop us from getting together!

As I’ve written about before, some guys are actually into lesbians. And while you’re obviously not gay, I know that even more guys (i.e. most guys) are anything but turned off by girls who have had homosexual experiences.

I recommend that you act towards this guy as if you were a typical straight girl. By that, I don’t mean that you should deny your female relationship or be ashamed of it in any way – I give you props for simply pursuing whoever you share a connection with. But if this guy is cool enough to actually date you, he shouldn’t be fazed by your past experimentation. So you should go after him as any heterosexual would.

There are plenty of ways to signal to a guy that you like him. (Check out my post on how to flirt with a guy by clicking HERE). If he’s still not getting the message, or you’d like to be a little bit more open with him, find a way to hint at your interest in dudes while he’s around. For example, you can casually refer to a previous relationship with a guy. Or, of course, you can also always mention outright in his presence that you’re bisexual. Sometimes honesty, paired with a little directed flirtation, just works best!

Good luck!
Ethan

Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of ActualConversation.com. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell.com…or call his mom, Robin.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!

How do you come out to your friends and family?

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It’s great that you feel ready to open about your sexuality to your family and friends. I can completely understand feeling scared or nervous about this – it’s a big step to take and can be very scary. While this may not be an easy thing for you to go through, I think you’ll feel better once you get this off your chest. I can’t promise that absolutely everyone will accept you for who you are immediately, but I can tell you that continuing to keep your sexuality a secret is something that will make you unhappy. It’s better to be honest with everyone when you’re ready.

Now, how do you tell people? I would start by telling the person you feel most comfortable with, whether that’s your mom, your grandma or your best friend. Telling one person who you feel really close to will probably help you tell everyone else – it’s good practice. Let this person know that you really want to share something important with them that’s a pretty big deal to you. There’s no simple way to go about this – you pretty much just have to come out and say, “I’m bisexual.” You can go into whatever detail you want, that’s up to you. Explain that you’re telling them because they’re an important part of your life and you would love if they could accept your sexuality.

Once you tell that one person, start figuring out who else you want to tell personally. Do it however you want, whether it’s in a group or individually. Let everyone know that this is an important part of who you are and you don’t want to have to hide your sexuality anymore.

Honestly, there may be some people in your life who don’t want to accept this about you. Please remember that that is their problem, not yours. You didn’t do anything wrong by admitting that you’re bisexual and there’s nothing wrong with being bisexual. If that’s something they don’t agree with, then they need to figure it out on their own. You have to continue to do what makes you happy, regardless of how others feel.

Good luck! Coming out takes a lot of courage and it’s really admirable that you’re ready to take that step. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad about who you are, and lean on the people who support you. You can’t change who you are and you never need to defend your sexuality.

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

How to deal with lesbian rumors

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Come on, who doesn’t love Mitch and Cam?! | Source: WENN.com

In awesome television news today, GLAAD has reported that the 2012-2013 season of prime-time broadcast TV has a record high number of LGBT characters. In other words, there are more LGBT characters and storylines on some of our fave TV shows than ever before. We were totally thrilled to read this! We love hearing that members of the LGBT community are being more positively portrayed in the media. After all, why shouldn’t they be?

The GLAAD “Where We Are On TV” report has a few statistics to back themselves up: 4.4 percent of regularly featured characters on the five broadcast networks this season are LGBT. Compare that to the 2011-2012 season, which was only 2.9 percent, and you’ll see that the numbers have gone way up.

New shows like The Carrie Diaries and Emily Owens, M.D. feature LGBT characters. And The New Normal, which premiered this fall, focuses on a gay couple trying to have a baby via surrogate as the main characters. Then there are some of our old favorites like Modern Family, Glee, Grey’s Anatomy, Pretty Little Liars, True Blood and Revenge, which have all been featuring gay/lesbian/bisexual characters regularly for a few seasons.

GLAAD president Herndon Graddick said, “This year’s increase of LGBT characters on television reflects a cultural change in the way gay and lesbian people are seen in our society. More and more Americans have come to accept their LGBT family members, friends, coworkers and peers, and as as audiences tune into their favorite programs, they expect to see the same diversity of people they encounter in their daily lives.” Graddick added, “When young LGBT people see loving couples like Callie and Arizona on Grey’s Anatomy or Degrassi‘s confident transgender high school student Adam Torres, they find characters they can look up to and slowly start building the courage to live authentically.”

We love that Emily on PLL is bisexual and all of her friends totally accept her | Source: WENN.com

Why have the numbers gone up so much this year? We’re not sure, but we’re definitely not complaining. It’s really refreshing to see a variety of sexual orientations on TV shows and it makes the characters that much easier to relate to. Who doesn’t laugh uncontrollably at Cam and Mitch on Modern Family? Who isn’t rooting for Kurt and Blaine on Glee? And try and tell me you don’t love Emily from Pretty Little Liars – you can’t. I mean, how boring would it be if every single show out there focused only on straight couples? Not only would it be a major snooze-fest, but it would also be unfair and seriously unrealistic.

One major bummer to take into consideration is that unfortunately, TV shows aren’t a representation of what’s really going on in our population. Basically, the LGBT community may get great representation on TV shows, but that doesn’t mean they are in real life. However, this is still a really positive step in the right direction! It’s stuff like this that helps the LGBT community gain more acceptance in society.

The other bummer is that while GLAAD found that ethnic diversity of characters on TV has improved, it still doesn’t accurately reflect U.S. demographics. That’s a major problem, in my opinion. It’s time to start representing more people of different backgrounds, colors and religions. Come on, TV! You’re so close, but you’re just not there yet.

Do you feel like the LGBT community is represented correctly on TV and in the media? Who’s your favorite LGBT character on TV right now? What would you love to see more of on your TV screens? Discuss in the comments!

Is it “in” to be a lesbian?

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Check out what’s new on our boards! Right now, girls are talking about bisexuality.

Kissthestars said:

Okay, so my crush came out as bi to me today. I really love him more than anything. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, but the thing is, he has fooled around with guys more than girls… but has only ever been out with girls. I don’t know what to do, help me someone!

Got something to add to this convo? Then go for it, gurl! Give her some advice and share your own story in the boards!

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.

Do you think you’re born with your sexuality?

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Try to find someone you trust to talk to. | Source: ShutterStock

Okay, no need to panic! I know that what you’re going through right now is very confusing and probably a little scary, but eventually, you will figure everything out – even if that takes a little while. I’m not saying that you’re bisexual or a lesbian, but the most important thing you need to realize right now is that if that’s the case, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with either of those sexual orientations.

That being said, watching and enjoying girl-on-girl porn does not automatically make you a lesbian. Everyone gets turned on by different things, and just because it may seem odd doesn’t mean it is. You’d probably be surprised at how many straight girls and women watch lesbian porn (just Google it to see!).

However, you also mentioned that you think about females in a sexual way, but don’t think about your boyfriend like that. Ask yourself a few questions here: do you get turned on by heterosexual porn? Do you fantasize about men the same way you fantasize about women? Do you enjoy hooking up with your boyfriend? If you think about girls on a regular basis and have little to no interest in men, there is a possibility that you could be a lesbian. If you think about both girls and guys, you could be bisexual.

She’s proof that lesbians are awesome! | Source: ShutterStock

The truth is, I can’t tell you what your sexual orientation is. No one can. It’s something you need to figure out on your own. Sure, there might be tons of quizzes and articles online and in magazines that try to help you answer that question, but in the end it really comes down to how you feel. Talking to someone about your confusion might be helpful. If you’re comfortable enough with your parents or another adult, try spilling your feelings to them. If not, there are support hotlines that could be beneficial to you.

What’s important here is that you take the time you need to get comfortable with your sexuality, even if that just means being comfortable with some sexuality question marks. Don’t feel like there’s pressure to do or say anything about your sexuality. And that goes for your current relationship too. If you don’t want to be with your boyfriend sexually, consider ending things with him until you really figure out how you feel. When it comes to sexuality and sexual relations, you should be doing anything you’re not 100 percent happy doing.

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

Check out this video on the question: am I gay or straight?

Lady Gaga says you were "born this way"

So where do you stand? We were reminded of this issue from this post in the message boards, and we’re curious to see what you girls think. Is sexuality something you decide or is it more of a genetics thing?

hero_of_the_day asked:
Are you born with your sexuality?

hem replied and said:
I think human sexuality is pretty complex and still pretty mysterious. I would imagine its probably a combination of nature and nurture. You’re probably born with certain tendencies and then those can be brought out or repressed depending on your environment and upbringing.

gorjustladyp replied and said:
 I believe it’s a choice… How do u realize when your small unless you are in that environment?

When it comes down to it...

ElizabethIrene replied and said:
Yes. Its not a choice to be gay, straight, bi or whatever. People cannot help who they are attracted to. They just are. Nature Vs. Nurture doesn’t really play as big a part in it as many believe it does.

While this question would be best answered with a fact, unfortunately there are no studies that prove that a person is always born with their sexuality. There are some theories by researchers and doctors that show that it’s definitely possible, but no solid evidence so far.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I personally happen to believe that you are born with your sexuality. How else do you explain homosexual children who grow up in entirely heterosexual families? I don’t feel like sexuality is a choice you can make, and I don’t feel like being gay is something you can stop at a certain point in your life.

Who do you agree with? What are your thoughts on this? Tell us in the comments.

Do you think girls really attached to the guys they sleep with?

 
Are People Born Gay

Pretty cute, right?

Ke$ha worked with the Human Rights Campaign to design the t-shirt, and all of the proceeds go to HRC’s work to achieve equality for the LGBT community. The shirt looks exactly like something Ke$ha herself would wear, with a purple zebra design. It also says, ‘We R Who We R’, which is the title of her hit song about being yourself.

Wanna buy one for yourself or a friend? Check out the HRC website, but go quickly –only 1,000 shirts will be produced. The shirts are $35, and we think that’s a pretty good price if it means supporting the LGBT community.

WDYT, gURLs? Will you buy one of these shirts? Are you or any of your friends celebrating National Coming Out Day? What are you doing to support the LGBT community? Discuss below!

Are you as disgusted with Southwest Airlines as we are?

Apparently actress Leisha Hailey, from The L Word, and her gURLfriend were getting a little too close for Southwest Airline’s comfort — they were escorted off of a plane on Tuesday for kissing.  Shocked? So is Leisha, who is now calling for a boycott of Southwest Airlines for what she calls an “act of discrimination.”

After several passengers complained about the couple’s smooch, they got into an argument with a flight attendant. Leisha tweeted about the incident, saying, “Since when is showing affection towards someone you love illegal? I want to know what Southwest Airlines considers as family.”

Southwest Airlines has apologized, but they’re still defending themselves — meaning they probably don’t think they did the right thing.  Lots of people are outraged, including Kelly Osbourne, who tweeted,

“Dear @SouthwestAir ur archaic thinking makes me sick! ur discrimination towards ur passengers is deplorable! i will NEVER fly southwest!”

WDYT, gURLs? Was this an act of discrimination? Or do you think the airline did the right thing? Should a lesbian or gay couple be able to show affection in public? Discuss in the comments.

Yay for equality!

We were thrilled to hear that the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy that the U.S. military has had for years is finally officially over, and homosexuals are now allowed to openly serve. It’s a huge step for the LGBT community.

Under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT), commanders were not allowed to ask anyone’s sexual orientation, and gays and lesbians were asked to never reveal their orientation. If it was revealed in some way, they faced punishment and even expulsion. Although the policy was created to help protect the gays and lesbians serving the country, it really only felt like a step back in the progress towards accepting homosexuality.

The Pentagon is already acting on applications it’s received from openly gay recruits, not to mention tons of “Repeal Day” celebrations are going to start up soon enough. And even though LGBT people  still have to follow strict rules of conduct, like no public displays of affection, they’re still thrilled about the decision.

WDYT, gURLs? Was this the right move for President Obama? Do you agree with the repeal of DADT? Do you disagree? Are you openly gay and interested in the military? Discuss in the comments!