I’m here to, hopefully, help you girls out with this major dilemma and to figure out how to date your best friend. Below you’ll find 10 tips on how to make the scary move from friends to romantic partners and how to be in a relationship with this person without completely ruining your awesome and amazing friendship. Check out these tips on how to date your best friend with little to no awkwardness:

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Consider How You Think He/She Feels

Before you do anything, seriously think about how you think your BFF might feel about you. Do you get the sense that he/she flirts with you sometimes? Do you feel like there's sexual tension between you guys? Is this person already dating someone? Before you make a move, you should consider what how you think your BFF is going to react.

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Start Flirting

Think he or she might be into you also? Start flirting! You don't need to put serious moves on him/her, but just start being a little bit more flirty when you two hang out. Put your hand on his/her arm when talking, say things like, "you're so cute!" or "you're so funny!" Stuff like that. It should be pretty comfortable since you two are so close.

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Bring Up Dating In A Joking Way

Test out the waters by making a "joke" about you two dating. Say something like, "My mom said we'd make a cute couple. So funny, right?" This is an easy way to judge their reaction to a statement like that - if things go badly, you can always be like, "Just kidding, ha ha!" But at the same time, realize that this isn't foolproof. If they get super weird about it, it may be because they were thinking it and you just joked about it. Ugh. So complicated.

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Realize You Might Lose Him

Before you do or say anything you can't take back, you should seriously consider the fact that you could lose your best friend over this. Things can get awkward quickly and it can be hard to recover from something like confessing your love to someone who doesn't care about you also. I'm not trying to scare you, but this is definitely important. Are you willing to put things on the line to make a move? If so, go for it. If not, try to move on.

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Tell Him/Her How You Feel

Think he or she might be into you also? It may be time to make a move. I know that's super scary, but would you rather wonder about your relationship forever? Tell him/her how you feel in whatever way you feel comfortable - maybe for you that's through a note or something like that. Just know that whatever their reaction is, in the end, you'll feel better for coming clean.

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Take Things Slow

He/she feels the same way as you? Awesome! That's really great news. But now you guys should start by taking things slow. This might be hard, because chances are if they're your BFF, you already spend a lot of time together. Don't feel like you have to jump into an intense relationship because you're already so close. This is the time to get to know this person in a different way, so just take things slowly.

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Realize That Some Things Might Change...

Some things are probably going to change between you guys. For example, you can't really keep telling your BFF about that hot guy in your class if you guys are dating, you know? You don't need to morph into girlfriend mode or anything, just realize that you might need to adjust a few things about your relationship.

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...But Things Won't Be THAT Different

The good news? A few things might change, but overall, things won't be THAT different. This is still your best friend we're talking about here! Just because the two of you are now dating doesn't mean either of you are different people. Continue to be yourself and don't try to impress him or her - they already like you!

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Realize That Things Might Be A Little Awkward

If you guys have been platonic friends for a long time, doing the sexy stuff might be a little awkward at first. But don't worry about that - things will get better and both of you will get more comfortable as time goes on. Also, your mutual friends might start to feel a little weird about two of their friends dating. Again, don't stress - they'll get used to it.

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Don't Be Super Jealous

This person was (is) your best friend, right? So that probably means you know everything about his/her sexual past. Try to keep yourself from feeling super jealous about the things you know. He or she is with you now!

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Do you have a crush on your best friend? Have you ever dated or hooked up with your best friend? What was it like? Tell us in the comments!

How to date your BFF’s brother

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Being in love with your best friend gets super complicated because while you desperately want to take things to the next level in your relationship, you also don’t want to lose that person as a friend. And, as everyone knows, romantic relationships always have the potential to ruin friendships. So what is being in love with your BFF really like? I’ve explained it in GIFs… and I’m sure a lot of you will be able to relate:

Your BFF was always just your goofy BFF. 

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Until suddenly… you realize you might have a crush on him. 

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Scratch that. You’re in LOVE. 

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You keep it to yourself for a while. 

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Until you HAVE to tell someone. 

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Ugh. You’re so confused. 

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Should you tell him? Will it ruin your friendship? 

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You guys DO flirt all the time. 

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Wait, but is it real flirting or is he just playing around? 

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One day you try to tell him, but for whatever reason… you fail. 

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You can’t tell him. 

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When he flirts with other girls, it’s like… 

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When a girl friend of yours tells you she has a crush on him, you’re like… 

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When someone tells you guys you would make a cute couple, you try to play it off like… 

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But on the inside, you’re all like… 

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Sometimes you think he might like you back. 

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And other times you know he only sees you as a friend. 

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Basically you’re just confused all the time. 

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Like, really, really confused. 

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HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Have you ever been in love with your best friend? Can you relate to this? Which of these GIFs is your favorite? What did I miss? Tell me in the comments!

What dating in high school is really like

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Source: ShutterStock

I feel your pain, girl. Sometimes trying to help and be a good friend isn’t easy and this is definitely one of those times. No one likes being the bearer of bad news, even if that news is only going to help someone. That being said, there are some ways you can give your BFF a hint about what’s going on without coming out and saying something really blunt.

While I would usually encourage you to be honest and straightforward with a best friend, in this case, being too honest is going to hurt her feelings and probably make her feel really embarrassed… and that might end up starting a fight. Instead, you can give her some subtle hints to try and get your point across. The next time you guys are hanging out, show her one of your perfumes and offer her a spritz. Say something like, “I’m in love with this perfume. You have to try it!”

But obviously you can’t offer her a spray of perfume every single time you see her, so maybe try something a little bit more direct. Go to the drugstore with her and say you need some new deodorant. Once you guys are there, say something like, “I love this brand of deodorant. You should try it. It smells good and it never stains my clothes!” You could also try checking out perfumes with her at the mall – when you find a scent you like for her, try encouraging her to buy it by telling her how amazing it smells on her. I know that sounds really manipulative and it is a little bit, but it could also be a strong hint to her that she needs to try something different.

If all of that fails, you may just have to be honest with her and tell her the truth as gently as possible. Tell her when it’s just you two talking (doing it in front of other friends might feel comfortable for you, but it won’t for her) and say something like this: “Hey, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I want to let you know that sometimes you smell a little. I’m just trying to be a good friend because I would want you to tell me that.” There’s no need to let her know other people are talking about her. Just try to be as nice as possible and let her know how much you care about her.

If you really don’t want to tell her, you may just have to live with the smell. But think about it: don’t you think she’d rather hear it from you than someone she doesn’t know as well?

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

Is it bad to think about sex a lot?

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Big changes afoot, girls! Since I’m coupled up (aka boring), I’ve decided to  focus on giving you darlings love advice rather than prattling on about my own (boring) love life! If you didn’t know, I post romance advice vids to my YouTube page so I thought hey, why not share it with my favorite girls?! But beware–I don’t sugarcoat things. We all have friends who just tell you what you want to hear–I’m not that friend. I’m the one who’s going to be honest and help you make the best decisions possible. It may not always be pretty, but it WILL be the truth!

Hi Shallon!

One of my best friends likes this guy and I think I like him too. Even though she liked him first, I can’t just help it. What should I do? I haven’t told ANYONE that I like him because I don’t want her to find out and get mad. Help?

–Ellen

Dear Extremely Confused Ellen,

If God had created a 10 Friendship Commandments, number one would’ve been Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy BFF’s Crush. It’s right up there with Honor Thy Pinkie Swears. But falling for the same dude is kind of inevitable – we’re so similar to our friends and therefore we’d probably go for the same guys, right?

So the strategy here is to ask yourself a very simple question: which person do you picture being in your life the longest? Your best friend or your crush?

Note: NEVER fight over a guy. Especially if they have weird facial hair patterns like this dude. Source: Shutterstock

Hey, guess what: YOUR FRIEND. I am still very close with my BFFs from elementary school, high school and college. But I can barely even remember the last names of the boys I like. Besides, think about all the drama if you end up fighting with her. School will become a living hell and um, it’s not even a guarantee that the guy likes you back! What if you stir the pot with your BFF only to discover that – ta da! – he doesn’t like either one of you. Uck. Terrible.

Choosing a friend over a guy is like choosing a salad over a cupcake. In the moment you reeeeeaaaally want to make one decision, but in the long run you will be SO thankful you didn’t. But.. is it really the boy you’re after? In high school I always had crushes on my BFF’s guys because, weirdly, I wanted her life. She was so pretty and confident and smart, I think I subconsciously thought that getting the guy would get me all of her attributes. SHOCKER: it doesn’t work that way.

WWTSD? What would Taylor Swift do?
Source: WENN

So basically: don’t tell your friend and forget about this crush. Boys come along constantly (trust me they do) but BFFs are hard to find!

XO,
Shallon

Feel free to leave your love Qs in the comments or drop me an email to AskShallon@gmail.com and follow me on Twitter and Instagram @ShallonXO

I haven’t had my first kiss yet – am I weird?

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That’s why I love these best friend quotes – they perfectly sum up what it’s like to have a bestie. I mean, what would you do without her (or him) right? So check out these BFF quotes, then share them on your Facebook, Tumblr and Twitter to show your best friend exactly how much you love her!

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Which of these quotes was your favorite? What did I miss? Which one explains your best friend relationship the most? Tell us in the comments!

10 quotes about making mistakes

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Ugh. Disliking a friend’s boyfriend can be kind of the worst and unfortunately, it will probably happen to all of us at some point in our lives. You want to be supportive for your friend and her new relationship and her happiness, but how can you be when you hate her boyfriend? You want to be honest with her, but at the same time, you don’t want to lose her as your BFF. So what exactly are you supposed to do?

I’ve had more than enough experience in this department (my friend’s pick some real winners, let me tell you) and so I’ve come up with a few ways to deal with hating your friend’s boyfriend… because that lame dude is probably not worth losing your BFF over.

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Think About Why You Hate Him

Okay, why do you really hate this guy? Is It because he stole your bestie away from you or is it because he was rude to you once? Is it because he treats your friend badly? Before you do anything about this, you need a real reason why you dislike him. If it's because you just might be a little jealous (and it's okay to admit it!), then you need to try to get over that. If it's because you don't think he's a nice guy or he's just not someone you would ever be friends with, it's worth trying to smooth things over for your friendship. But if it's because he treats your friend badly, well, that's a whole other issue... that I'll get to later, promise!

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Give Him A (Second) Chance

Maybe you hate this dude because he gave a terrible first impression or because you just hate the way he lives his life. Whatever the reason, you might want to give him a chance (or a second chance) to redeem himself. Best case scenario? You just need to get to know him. Try hanging with them a few times and start up some convos with him. Find out more about him and try to feel comfortable. If it works, amazing! If not... well, keep reading.

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Try To Be Polite

Okay, so you tried to get to know this dude and all you discovered were more reasons to dislike him. Unless he's abusing your friend in some way or doing something bad behind her back, you just need to suck it up, deal with him and hope they'll break up soon. Unless, you know, you want to lose your bestie... and I don't think you do. You don't need to be this guy's best friend - you just need to be polite. Say hi when he's around, engage in a little chit-chat and focus mainly on your friend. Playing nice is hard but sometimes the most mature thing to do.

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Keep It To Yourself

Remember what I said about being polite? Yeah, that also means keeping your hatred to yourself. Unless he's hurting her in some way, there's no need to tell her you can't stand her BF. You don't have to be super fake and act like you love him, but maybe don't be super honest unless you need to be. Also, don't gossip about it with other friends - if it gets back to your BFF, she'll flip.

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Avoid Him As Much As Possible

All right, so you got to know him, hated him, tried to be polite, failed a little. Now's the time where you start avoiding this dude as much as possible. Ask your bestie for girl's nights instead of third-wheel hangouts and avoid talking to him whenever you don't have to.

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Don't Push Her Away

All of that being said, you don't want to push your bestie away. If you really dislike her BF, she'll eventually be able to tell. Maybe you two shouldn't talk about him together. Don't pressure her into breaking up with him or bad mouth him every time you're with her. You may think this will make her want to dump him, but she's probably defensive about her boyfriend. All that stuff is going to do is make her annoyed with you.

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Talk To Your Friend

Remember how I said if her boyfriend is hurting her in some way or treating her badly to do something different? Here it is. If your friend's boyfriend is abusing her, cheating on her, hitting on you - whatever - talk to her. Tell her you love her, you don't want to see her get hurt and you can't keep quiet about something like this. If she's in an abusive relationship, she'll need your support and it may take time for her to end things. But it is possible to stand by her side while also letting her know you don't approve of her BF.

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Do you hate any of your friend’s boyfriends? How do you deal with it? Would you be honest with your best friend if you didn’t like her boyfriend? Tell me in the comments.

7 ways to deal with your boyfriend’s family

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I’m a grouchy girl this week!

Well. The past week has been quite the fiasco thanks to all the dramz between my friend Taylor and her grabby boyfriend Andy, who hit on me big time at her birthday party. I asked you girls to decide if I should tell Tay about her scuzzy BF and the answer was an overwhelming YES!

So, as always, I listened. Here’s what went down:

I spent all week steeling myself to spill the truth to Taylor, and had already decided that she would probably call me a liar and banish me from her life forever.

The second she sat down to brunch, everything just came tumbling out. The party, the closed door, the hair twirling—the whole sordid tale. I didn’t even look up the entire time I was talking, I was too afraid that she’d begun to breathe fire or was loading a gun or something.

Instead, she just sat there, arms crossed and brow furrowed, with a far away look on her face.

“Tay…?” I said slowly once I’d finished. “Are you OK? Please know that I’m not saying this to hurt—”

“I knew it,” she said suddenly. “I knew something was wrong.”

Now it was her turn to unload—for months, she’d had this nameless, niggling feeling about Andy. She couldn’t put her finger on it but something about him was…off.

“He would disappear for hours at night and then freak out if I asked where he’d been, saying I was invading his privacy,” she explained. “And I thought I saw him grope a cocktail waitress one night when we were out. But none of that seemed like enough to dump him, you know?

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But my incident with him was. Taylor said that in a weird way, she felt relieved to have an iron-clad excuse to break things off.

“Thank you, Shallie,” she said through tears, reaching across the table to squeeze my hand. That weekend, she moved out of their apartment and in with her brother up town.

YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.

It’s Saturday night, I’m lounging around with B watching The Expendables 2 (terrible movie, btw, do not see it) when my phone rings: Andy. For sure he was calling to scream and holler at me for ruining his romance with Taylor, right?

Uh, not exactly.

“So looks like we can finally take things to the next level,” he purred into the phone. I felt like I was hallucinating.

“I’m sorry—what??”

“I mean that’s why you told Taylor, right? Whatever. I’m over her, she was crazy anyway. What are you up to tonight? Come over.”

I just…did he?…I can’t even.

Source: Shutterstock

“Listen to me Andy and listen good,” I hissed. I guess I’d absorbed all of this raging testosterone by osmosis from the movie and was rarin’ to go. “You think Taylor was crazy? Well I’m a lunatic with no fear of jail and a clean record. You know what that means? It means I can light you up with a tube sock full of quarters and get off with probation, which I will gladly accept to defend my honor and that of Taylor’s, you got it? So if you ever, EVER come near us again, I am coming after you.”

As with all my crazy rants, I had no idea what that was actually supposed to mean. But the bluff sounded menacing enough, right? I mean who wants to get attacked by a sock full of coins? Not me. And, if his stammering apology was any indication, not Andy either. :)

Unfortunately, I did this whole thing in front of B, who hadn’t known anything about the saga. Now, he wants to sit down with Andy and “have a little chat” with him but I just want to let sleeping dogs lie, you know? Plus, Andy is nutso—what if things turn violent and he takes a swing?? I’d never forgive myself. What should I do, girls?

Tell me your thoughts in the comments, and don’t forget to visit me at my website and follow me on Twitter and Instagram. I’ll blindly obey and be back next week with a fresh new update!

10 signs you’re a bad girlfriend

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In particular, I wanted to focus on necklaces. When I was in school, BFF necklaces always just shouted BEST FRIENDS in capital letters or had clunky designs that didn’t match any of my clothes. As I searched Etsy today, I looked around for some modern BFF necklaces that celebrate the simplicity of a best friendship, but also can tie in some goofy elements a BFF would love.

Basically, I wanted to skip anything that just states the obvious with “Best Friends” on it, and instead find things I think BFF pairs would mostly share as a special nod to their friendship just between them. Here are ten super fun BFF necklaces from Etsy:

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PB&J Necklaces

It's just a classic combination! There's something about the bright orange and purple used in these that also don't make me feel like I am just wearing a sandwich necklace, but a cute piece of jewelry art.

Buy them now from Etsy for $30

Silver Puzzle Pieces

I love just how simple and classic these are. They don't even need to say "Best Friends" on them, because it just makes total sense since you two go together like the pieces of a puzzle. This is something that I feel would go with nearly any outfit, so I could always have it on.

Buy them now from Etsy for $20

Poem Discs

I love that these aren't both the same - just like you and your BFF each embrace your own individuality as well. The lines by e.e. cummings are just simple and touching, and this makes a nice everyday necklace.

Buy them now from Etsy for $40

Complementary Colors

These are beautiful and simple, and I love the description on Etsy that says, "These necklaces are opposites that complement each other" and likens them to a best friendship where that may hold true as well. It's subtle, but touching.

Buy them now from Etsy for $30

Pinky Swear

How many times have you done with with your BFF? Now you can have a necklace as a reminder of how much you trust one another. They are simple, but speak volumes about the importance of trust in friendship.

Buy them now from Etsy for $19.99

Morse Code

See the beads on that silk cord? They spell out "BFF" in Morse Code! Cool, right? Plus if you are always swapping secrets with your bestie, then a necklace written in a kind of secret form of communication seems pretty fitting.

Buy it now from Etsy for $42.50

Koi Fish

Did you know that koi fish are actually a symbol of friendship in Japan? I know the thought of a fish necklace may not immediately make you say "Wow," but I think these are really pretty. Again, knowing their symbolism makes it special in kind of a more personal way.

Buy them now from Etsy for $64

Video Game Heart

I used to have those half-heart BFF necklaces, but I love that this totally embraces the gamer aesthetic. If the two of you like to bond over a competitive video game sesh, it's a nice nod to something that is special to you two.

Buy them now from Etsy for $19.99

Heart Necklace

Here's another example of the old-school BFF heart necklaces getting a fun twist. These hearts are both different colors (and even the stripes are a little different), but they really are an awesome pair. Friendship is a sweet thing and these "lollipop" necklaces are a great reminder.

Buy them now from Etsy for $23

Mini-BFFs

Okay, these are just awesome. There are all these options to customize your little figurine into a mini you and BFF! Maybe some people would find that odd to wear as a necklace, but I think these are so adorable and could give kind of a quirky pop to an outfit. This one is a little bit of a splurge, but I love it.

Buy them now from Etsy for $64

Do you have a BFF necklace with your best friend? Which of these ones above are your favorite? What design would be perfect for you and your bestie? Tell us in the comments!

Which ’90s TV Character Is Your BFF? Take the quiz!

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Source: Shutterstock

beth_wol said:

“I like this boy. I don’t talk to him often because were not in many classes together, so I don’t have a chance to talk. But my best friend is in quite a few classes with him, and they talk more than me and him.

I’m getting jealous and seem to think he likes her. He’s really quiet and only ever smiles at me. He doesn’t tend to have big conversations with me. What does this mean? How do I accept it if they do end up dating?”

Got something to add to this convo? Then go for it, girl! Let us know what you think right here.

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.

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