Depression and anxiety may prompt you to talk about yourself–or vice versa. | Source: ShutterStock

Depression and anxiety suck, but it’s got another surprising correlation: talking about yourself. Apparently people who are into “me, myself and I” above asking about anyone else’s day are more prone to full-on bouts of depression and anxiety.

Scientists conducted a study and it showed people who use singular first person pronouns the most–meaning “I,” “me,” “myself”–tended to be more anxious and depressed than people who used plural pronouns like “we” or “us.”

Not only were the “me, myself and I” people more likely to suffer depression and anxiety, but they also had more trouble in interpersonal relationships than people who said “us” and “we.”

One expert explained, “Using first-person singular pronouns highlights the self as a distinct entity whereas, using first-person plural pronouns emphasize [being part of] social relationships.” Translation? People who say “me,” “myself” and “I” are less likely to have or to associate themselves with social situations with other people.

Experts also say that people who use the words “I,” “me” and “myself” are needier and try harder to seek attention than their peers who approach things more socially or in groups.

However, it’s unclear whether one causes the other or if it’s sort of cyclical. People with depression or anxiety may need more attention than their peers without those disorders, and they may feel more lonely and isolated as a result of suffering from anxiety and depression to begin with. If someone’s lonely, chances are interpersonal relationships aren’t the easiest thing in the world for them, so it’s important to take this study with a grain of salt. There are times in life when everyone talks about themselves more often than usual. And just because you or a pal use “I” instead of “we” doesn’t mean you have a mental illness–and just because you have a mental illness, it doesn’t mean you’re self-absorbed!

Do you think talking about yourself is a sign of depression or anxiety? Do you think people who suffer from anxiety or depression are more likely to talk about themselves? Have you ever suffered from anxiety or depression? Tell us in the comments!

Is depression contagious!?

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Well y’all are, so I’m really proud. This week I noticed there’s some chatter going on about anxiety and depression and what to do when you feel like it’s getting out of control. What did y’all have to say about the topic?

flamingoccm said:

I think you’d benefit from talk therapy. I personally call my mom or my best friend when I’m having an anxiety attack, but since you’re straining those relationships, I think you should consider a third party.

alegnatm said:

I’ve been dealing with anxiety recently. I got put on medication for it, which i believe has been helping. And I’ve been trying to do a bit of meditation. Or I at least try to listen to calm and relaxing music throughout the day (meditation radio on Pandora).

Like Flaming said, I would consider finding someone to talk to (someone you trust or possibly a counselor) because just going on a rant to someone about what’s going on can definitely help.
Exercise helps me as well, my anxiety usually has a lot of anger mixed in with it so I like to exercise to tire myself out.

stayclassy said:

Are you in school? If so, they should have counselors for free you can talk to. Talking it out definitely helps, even if it’s a close friend or family member.

Meditation has good long term effects and I’ve found that when I feel anxious, I use my meditation skills to control my breathing (take a few slow deep breaths) to calm down, and if possible, go out for a walk to get some fresh air and move a bit with the walking.

The thing about anxiety is that it’s not the same for everyone who has it. Same goes for depression. The trick is finding what methods work for you personally.

I’ve been dealing with anxiety for almost thirteen years, and it’s definitely been a struggle. I’m not on medication, although recently, I’ve considered it because I’m noticing that it’s getting worse as I get older. It’s something I have always monitored and debated. One of my triggers is medication, which is another issue I have to battle.

I do think that if you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, any mental issue or just feeling very overwhelmed, that you should talk to a therapist. The reason I’ve been able to last so long without medication is because of my therapist. It may take some trial and error to find one that fits, but having a trusted therapist to talk to is one of the best ways to deal with anxiety.

I came to learn triggers for my anxiety and ways that I could deal with them through my therapist that I never would have realized on my own. Having anxiety for me means that I get so caught up in my own head, and I can’t get out. My therapist pulled me out.

A therapist will go over all kinds of coping mechanisms from medication to meditation to playing word games (for my storm anxiety!) in order to find out what works for you personally. Anxiety isn’t a phase, it’s a mental issue that can be treated so the best thing is to seek treatment, whatever that method might be!

Do you have anxiety? How do you deal with it? Do you have a therapist? Tell me in the comments!

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.

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And apparently, it’s also not very surprising that you might feel that way. According to a new study, women are more likely than men to say they feel worried or anxious on a regular basis – especially younger women. That’s a statistic I don’t like. A small amount of worrying can definitely be good for anyone – if no one ever thought about consequences, this world would be insane – but worrying too much can take up way too much of your time.

The big question is: how do you stop worrying? After all of my years of anxiety-ridden thoughts and constant worrying running through my mind, I’ve come up with a few tips to just relax and push those nagging thoughts out of your brain. Check out these eight tips on how to stop worrying:

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Talk It Out

If you're feeling really anxious or worried about something, talking to someone else might help. They may be able to calm you down or remind you that things aren't as bad as you think they may be. Sometimes we need a voice of reason to remind us that worrying is never going to solve any problems. Also, venting about your issues may lift a weight off your shoulders.

Source: ShutterStock

Do Something Relaxing

What always calms you down? For me, it's going to the beach and sitting by the ocean. For you, it might be listening to a favorite song, taking a walk, watching a funny movie, smelling a yummy candle - whatever it is, do it if you have the time. Sometimes you just need to clear your head.

Source: ShutterStock

Focus On The Present

When you're worrying, you're focusing on the future. But there's really no point to doing that, because you can't control the future! You may need to force yourself to focus on the present. Take a look around you and remind yourself that whatever happens, happens. You need to relax and let go.

Source: ShutterStock

Distract Yourself With Something Fun

Maybe instead of relaxing on your own, you need to get out there and do something fun that will distract you from whatever bad thoughts you're having. Take your dog for a walk, call your bestie and make plans to hang out, go shopping with your mom. Just do something fun - before you know it, you'll be having such a good time that you forgot what you were ever worrying about.

Source: ShutterStock

Imagine The Worst

This tip might sound really weird to you - why would you imagine the worst when you're worrying about something? Wouldn't that just make you worry more? But experts swear it works. As one expert told the Huffington Post, "Oftentimes, you will see that the fear is bigger in your mind than what could actually happen. This exercise helps create perspective."

Source: ShutterStock

Make A Worry List

Stressing about a whole bunch of stuff? It may be helpful to write it down. You don't need to go into a long diary entry with all of your feelings (unless you want to). You just need to make a worry list. Write down everything that is bothering you the most. Once you're down, analyze it and decide which things are worth worrying about and which aren't.

Source: ShutterStock

Try Some Deep Breathing

It may sound too weird and New Age-y for you, but deep breathing exercises actually do calm you down. One that I really like is sitting down and placing your head between your knees while breathing deeply for a few minutes. Another thing you can do is stop your mind, and take three very deep, slow breaths. Or try some yoga, if you're into that.

Source: ShutterStock

Give Yourself Worry Time

This is another tip that may sound totally weird and counterproductive, but again, experts say it works. Give yourself 5-20 minutes a day of worry time and tell yourself that this is the only time you're allowed to worry. Spend that time indulging all of your worries and when time is up, force yourself to stop thinking and go out there and do something.

Source: ShutterStock

How do you stop worrying? How do you calm yourself down when you’re feeling really stressed out? Tell me in the comments.

I have terrible anxiety about sex

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This was me, just nervous about everything. Source: Shutterstock

Of course, 9/11 was a traumatic day for all of us. I grew up in Atlanta, Georgia but my entire family is from New York. I had visited and knew exactly what the World Trade Center was while most of my classmates did not. My family was very affected by 9/11. My dad used to travel every few weeks to work there, and he easily could have been there that day. He lost countless friends and co-workers. My cousins went to school in the city at the time. My second-cousin Kevin Donnelly, a lieutenant in FDNY Ladder Company 3, was a first responder. He didn’t make it out.

Being 11 and trying to understand that event and fearing for the lives of my family members really shook me up. We flew to New York not too long after for Kevin’s memorial service, which is the first time I experienced real anxiety. I saw the National Guard at the airport with huge guns and felt panicky. I was so nervous to even get on a plane, and I was a child who absolutely loved flying. I don’t think my parents really thought anything of it. I wasn’t having a full-blown panic attack and they probably couldn’t tell what was going on. But, it was the beginning of my struggle with anxiety.

I would get overly anxious about things that other teens would just be a little nervous about, like taking tests, taking pills and storms. It was such a problem that I stopped having fun and doing what I loved. I didn’t get help my junior year of college, when a tornado hit my college town. After that, my anxiety was at an all time high and I just wasn’t able to live my life or be myself.

This was me for like four years. Source: flowintothecity

I had been to therapists before for various things, but I never went for anxiety. No one had ever talked to me about it so I didn’t know that’s what I was dealing with. I know people with anxiety, but everyone else’s is so different than mine. I never realized that what I was dealing with was classified as anxiety too.

So while I was in post-traumatic stress disorder therapy, I started to make connections back to things that happened to me. Everything made so much more sense, and I began to learn ways to handle my anxiety. Given that taking medicine is one of my triggers for anxiety, I didn’t want to take any prescriptions to help me deal with my anxiety issues. I know going on an anti-anxiety medication would help me a lot, but that in itself makes me panic. So my therapist taught me ways to work around it.

Part of dealing with anxiety is finding things that work specifically for you. It’s a lot of trial and error. I do a lot of breathing exercises and meditation. My therapist suggested brain-stimulating apps for me, so I play puzzle or word games on my phone. I also do certain ritual-type behaviors, which points to my OCD tendencies (another issue entirely), but I listen to the same music every morning when I get ready and when I go to and from work. Being on a crowded subway and stuck underground makes me super anxious, so I have to keep some sense of normalcy to calm me down.

For a long time, I let my anxiety control me. Now, I control it instead, and it’s made such a difference. I stopped allowing myself to be afraid to do things so I went out more, I did activities I wanted to do. Certainly, it takes a lot to break down that wall, but once I did I felt so much better.

Now when I say “I’m fine” I really mean it Source: lifeasaquirkygirl

I definitely still experience anxiety and panic, but I manage because I have techniques to deal with it. I watch myself carefully too because I know that with age, my anxiety will change and might get worse. I’ll likely have to medicate at some point, but for right now I’m doing just fine without it.

If you’re struggling with anxiety, or you feel nervous and you’re not sure why, I encourage you to talk to someone about it. Mental health has such a stigma, so everyone’s scared to bring it up. You’re not crazy or weird for having anxiety. It’s a lot more common than you probably think, so don’t be afraid to discuss it. The sooner you start talking about it, the sooner you can get help and be on your way to enjoying stuff!

Do you struggle with anxiety? Have you talked to anyone about it? Do you think you have anxiety but aren’t sure? Tell me in the comments!

Naps are actually really beneficial

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Dr. Patterson told ABC News that millions of people have “dental anxiety,” and she’s created an environment that doesn’t feel like a typical dentist office. It all sounds like a stellar way to try to make these appointments more relaxing and comfortable for the many of us who are scared of the dentist.

That sounds like an awesome 2-for-1 trip, right? Now, if only all of the kind of stressful appointments in our life had the opportunity for us to take advantage of fun extra perks! For example, going to the gynecologist can sometimes leave you a little nervous, so we’ve dreamed up seven extra perks we’d like them to adopt to make a trip there more enjoyable.

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A+!

“We need you to take a minute to update your paperwork here, so we’ve gone ahead and written that term paper and completed your other homework for you. It’s only fair!”

Sources: Doctor and Books - Shutterstock.com

Trendy!

“We’re not super into medical gowns here. We do though love fashionable gowns, so why don’t you go put on that new designer one before we get started.”

Sources: Doctor and Dress - Shutterstock.com

Awesome!

"We know our questions just made you spill a lot of personal details, but we appreciate your honesty. To thank you for your cooperation, here’s a brand-new tablet!"

Sources: Doctor and Tablet - Shutterstock.com

Entertaining!

“We’re sorry we only had an appointment available when the rest of your friends wanted to go to the movies. Luckily we’ve installed this giant TV in the exam room so you can stream a movie and distract yourself from what we’re doing down there.”

Sources: Doctor and TV - Shutterstock.com

Pretty!

“We noticed your feet haven’t been pampered in a while. Since we’re already going to put you in these stirrups, let us give you a quick pedicure. Is red polish okay?”

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Sparkly!

“Yeah, we know this metal speculum is kind of scary, which is why we bought you this gorgeous silver necklace.”

Sources: Doctor and Necklace - Shutterstock.com

Yummy!

“After every appointment, we'll give you a complimentary cupcake (or three!). Enjoy, and we'll see you again!”

Sources: Doctor and Cupcake - Shutterstock.com

What other sometimes stressful appointments would you make better with fun perks? Tell us in the comments!

The Complete Guide To Going To The Gyno

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Check out what’s new on our boards! Right now, girls are talking about dealing with anxiety about sex: 

kubsaT said:

This feels ridiculous. I don’t feel normal, and wherever I look and whoever I talk to about it leaves me unsatisfied, because no one I have spoken to has been through this.

I have terrible anxiety. It messes with everyday life. (For example: school assemblies leave me sitting there feeling sick and tense, after just minutes I want to run out. For our school exams I hand in a note to allow me to have a seat at the rear of the hall away from everyone because it affects my ability to do my best, still though, I will sit there worrying about everything), aaand, it leaves me still a virgin. So, I am 17. This anxiety has been with me for over 5 years, and has proved more frustrating than I originally thought. As I have gotten older and reached my teen years, I have found my anxiety also affects my relationships (mentally, emotionally, and sexually).

Over a year ago, I finally began going out with someone I had had a ‘thing’ with for over a year and I was ecstatic to finally be together officially. We had talked about sex before and I had told him I was waiting until I was legal before considering it (the legal age is 16 in NZ). We had ‘sexted’ (I really don’t like that word), kissed, hugged, cuddled and such before going out, however, when we started dating (and I was 16) whenever we met up we went nowhere. We went out for only two months and the most we did was make out and hug. I felt terrible, like I had led him on as I would always tell him an excuse like ‘I like the cute innocence of our relationship for now’, ‘my uniform will get in the way’, ‘I’m not feeling 100%’ (sadly, these are real excuses I used).

I knew I was ready though. When I thought about him when I was at home ‘sexting’ him, I was always hot and bothered, yet I couldn’t come to tell him the truth when I said no to him in person… The truth being that I was over thinking everything because I had anxiety and was terrified I was going to disappoint him and not be ‘right’.

When I have told people this part, they always say that “if he thought that then he wasn’t good enough anyway” or “you’re fine how you are, and he didn’t see that then his loss” but girls, surely you understand that this is not realistic. As a 16 year old girl with her first serious boyfriend, those words would not help, because I knew he was lovely. But when I was with him, I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to let him down by doing something wrong or not being good enough.

I am so sorry this is long, but this is the first time I have properly explained how I have been feeling for years, this is my vent. And I beg of you, if anyone else finds they cannot find it in them to trust a person enough with their body, due to anxiety or otherwise, please comment. I want to know if i can feel confident one day, preferably soon. I really want to be able to be carefree and love life! Thank you all.

Got something to add to this convo? Then go for it, girl! Talk about your own anxiety or give this girl advice on how to deal in our boards.

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.

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School’s a source for anxiety of all types – it’s hard to concentrate on already-difficult work if people are gossiping. | Source: Shutterstock

Anxiety can be felt both emotionally and physically. Some of us say it feels like butterflies in our stomachs. some of us get sweaty palms, feel our hearts pounding, our fingers tremble, we can’t sit still, we even want to cry or yell. Generally, we have the anxiety for a short period of time, and although it’s annoying, we get through it and move on–it’s a normal part of life. But sometimes anxiety isn’t such a small thing.

Facts about anxiety:

* Symptoms of anxiety that are beyond what the typical person experiences can include: constantly feeling anxious for no reason, worrying about everyday things, panic to a degree where you can’t get through normal events (like a test, completing homework, or even a peaceful family dinner), or a general feeling of doom.

* When anxiety gets to a really high point, some people get panic attacks, which is a situation in which anxiety becomes so overwhelming that it temporarily, and completely, takes control. Panic attacks can be really scary, so much so that some people who experience them become afraid to go out, period. It’s most common to begin experiencing panic attacks between the ages of 15-19.

* Girls are twice as likely to experience anxiety than boys. Studies show it may be because of cultural stressors like body image and the expectation to people-please. One study revealed that of high school seniors, nearly 4 out of 10 girls (compared to fewer than 2 in 10 boys) reported being “frequently overwhelmed.” Among college students seeking mental health services on campus, 60 percent are female.

* Most of us experience social anxiety at some point – like going to a party where you barely know anyone and feel shy or awkward – but some people are so fearful of doing something embarrassing in front of others that they aren’t comfortable in public or with strangers, period. This is called Social Anxiety Disorder, and can isolate people with it because they feel too self-conscious to interact.

* Sometimes anxiety affects our bodies as well as our minds. Common physical problems stemming from anxiety include chest pain, headaches, tiredness, tight muscles, stomachaches, or vomiting. Using drugs, alcohol, or tobacco can worsen this.

* While short-term anxiety can be caused by everyday events like homework or an upcoming date, some people suffer from long-term anxiety caused by trauma in their past, like an assault, a natural disaster, or having someone important die. This anxiety, called Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, can last years if not dealt with.

Supportive friends can make an enormous difference in lessening anxiety. | Source: Shutterstock

* If you think you might have a serious problem with anxiety, TELL SOMEONE. A parent or other relative, teacher, coach, or religious figure may be able to help. See a doctor to check if the anxiety may be related to a health problem, and make sure you’re eating healthily and getting enough sleep. If using relaxation skills like the ones above don’t help, consider talking to a therapist who specializes in anxiety.

Do you ever have anxiety? When do you feel most anxious, and what do you do to calm yourself down? Tell me in the comments!

Are You Depressed?

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Sometimes it feels like our emotions drown us; talking to someone could pull you to safety. | Source: Shutterstock

Cut to a few years later, when I realized I was having problems and needed someone to talk to, someone who wasn’t a friend or family member, who wouldn’t judge me, and who I wouldn’t feel I was burdening with my problems. Turns out that’s exactly what a therapist is for, so I went to one. You absolutely don’t have to be “crazy” to see a therapist, and the VAST majority of people who go to therapy aren’t wearing tinfoil hats or convinced that traffic lights talk to them. They’re average people, like you and me, only something’s happened in their lives that they can’t quite handle on their own, and they need someone to talk to.

There are about a billion situations in which therapy can be helpful, including ones many of us go through: depression, anxiety, the death of a loved one, moving, school stress, rough relationships with family members, sexual identity issues, dealing with parents’ divorce or remarriage, and also things like eating disorders, self harm, sexual assault, chronic illness, or experiencing something traumatic. Some people think it’s weird to go and talk to someone you don’t know, but I think in some ways, it’s almost easier: this is someone you go to just to talk, and they’re 100% there to listen to and support YOU. You don’t see this person in class or at family gatherings, and due to therapist-client confidentiality, even if you’re a minor and your parent takes you to every appointment, your therapist still can’t repeat what you’ve said, unless you or someone else is in danger (so stuff like you and your sweetie fooling around or your ditching class isn’t gonna make it outside the therapist’s door. Your therapist might tell your parent or guardian something – or have you do it in session – if there’s a concern you may be in serious trouble, like if you’re about to run away, or you’ve started drinking a LOT).

Going to therapy can help you feel a lot better. | Source: Shutterstock

Getting help is a great thing, and I wish I’d known to ask for a different therapist when I was 14; it might’ve made a big difference. I’m glad I know the benefits of therapy now and I’m not afraid to get help if I need it.

Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist? If you’ve seen a therapist, was it helpful? Tell us about it in the comments!

Feeling Down? You’re NOT Alone

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“I was just kind of immobilized by it,” she told Vogue. “I didn’t want to go to my friends’ houses or hang out with anybody, and nobody really understood.”

It’s insane to me that someone with such a magnetic personality can feel so isolated. It really just goes to show that no matter who you are, whether it’s a huge Hollywood star, fabulously geektastic, punk or a prep–we’ve all got very real personal hurdles to overcome. No one is an exception. Not a single person on earth is exempt of pressures, anxieties, and fears. It’s not what you have to deal with, it’s not those things that we perceive as weaknesses in ourselves, that make us who we are. It’s how we handle those obstacles that really define us.

Instead of hiding in her bedroom, Emma got professional help for years and took to comedy to deal with all the pressure.

“[Being on stage] gave me a sense of purpose. I wanted to make people laugh. Comedy was my sport. It taught me how to roll with the punches. Failure is the exact same as success when it comes to comedy because it just keeps coming. It never stops.”

Can you imagine being afraid to go outside, to hangout with your BFFs, then going on stage to cope with it all? Sounds pretty brave to me.

Yet another reason why Emma Stone is a damn good role model for us all. Consider this, the next time you give someone a yucky look because you don’t understand them or because you want what they have, just think about it this way: everyone has a hard time growing up and adjusting in one way or another.

Even the people you think have it easiest are struggling in some way. So don’t be judgmental or envious, be compassionate.

Have you ever had a panic attack? What are your fears and anxieties? Let us know in the comments!/strong>

Being organized doesn't mean you have OCD. | Source: Shutterstock

Here are a few facts on what Obsessive Compulsive Disorder really is:

* OCD is an anxiety disorder in which people have unwanted and repeated thoughts, feelings, ideas, sensations (those are the obsessions), or behaviors that make them feel driven to do something (those are the compulsions). Carrying out the behaviors to get rid of the thoughts will only provide temporary relief for people with OCD. People with compulsive behaviors are often aware that their behavior is detrimental to their lives, but still can’t stop their actions.

* OCD symptoms usually appear before a person is 30 years old.

* Symptoms include: Obsessions or compulsions that are not due to medical illness or drug use, and cause major distress or interfere with everyday life.

Excessive hand washing is a common compulsion. | Source: Shutterstock

*Treatments include medications and therapy, particularly exposure therapy, where the person with OCD is repeatedly exposed to situations in which the obsessive thoughts occur, then learns to deal with the thoughts. With treatment, people with OCD can make huge improvements, which will allow them to live with a lot less stress.

If you think you may have OCD, don’t be afraid to talk to a doctor or therapist. Starting with a parent or guidance counselor at school could help if you don’t know what to do. This site also has plenty of resources.

Do you know anyone with OCD? Do you ever joke about having OCD, but know that you’re just super organized? Tell me what’s what in the comments!

Do You Know Someone Who Hurts Herself? Here’s Help

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