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the mourning after

My father died suddenly. He hadn’t been sick or anything; it just happened one day. I am sure this is the single worst thing that I have ever had to go through in my life.
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Because I was the first of any of my friends to have a parent die, most of my friends had trouble knowing “the right” thing to say to me. Ironically, one of the more difficult aspects of his death was dealing with the reactions of other people around me. Watching others struggle with the whole WHAT TO SAY issue was painful and uncomfortable.
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The previous year, my friend's stepmother had died and I remember waiting to hear advice from her--some words of wisdom, as if she could tell me what was going to happen to me. But nothing came. I was disappointed. But it wasn’t just her. Several of my friends let me down during that time.
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I am not sure what I expected from them or what I needed. I am not mad at them anymore because there was no way they could have known what to do or say.
--Zoe Balsam



 
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