Every boob-bearing individual knows that no two bOobs are alike.
Even
within one seemingly identical pair, you should be able to find some
noteworthy differences: a little more droop here, a bit of extra perk there,
a radical contour shift to the right,
a decentered nipple on the left.
Because no two boobs really belong to one another, it seems there would
always emerge a favorite, a first among equals. At least that is how it is
for me.
My two boObs are sisters, sure, but let's just say they are more like
fraternal twins, not born of the same egg.
My right breast, I am rather
proud of.
It is far superior to the left one.
It is a C-cup boob that
almost doesn't need the daily assistance of a bra. Now that's a rarity--a
C-cup boob that can hold its own.
Sometimes I imagine that there are these
boob-packing elves at some boob-making plant.
And so it is they who made
my right boOb
with such care, such tenderness, such artistry and flair.
They took their time, making sure that the stuffing was high quality fiber and
that the entire breast was packed well and with even distribution.
The left bOob is another story entirely--
the elves
weren't so careful with this one. I imagine it is
starting to look like an old sofa cushion. The
stuffing is falling out of some areas and clumping up in others.
The right one has that certain something that makes some boobs just right
from any angle. For one thing, the nipple placement is about a quarter of
an inch higher on my right boob and the next-to-the-armpit curve is
perfectly arched.
Lately I've noticed that when walking in public I have
the tendency to cover my left breast with a book or some other object I
might be carrying,
and proudly display my right one and its unshakeable
form.
So much of the public life of my left boob is lived under the
slightly embarassed cover of a self-consciously crossed arm.
Sometimes I wonder how it is that two boObs could be so different, how
could one be so distinguished and the other, so mediocre?
This is where the reshaping powers of the underwire bra step in. When snuggly
cupped, you can't even tell the difference between the two.
