Over the four long years I spent living and going to school in New Jersey, I had new boyfriends and friends, but for some reason Kevin always remained at the back of my mind. He also had his own strings of various girls, but it was different with them.

I guess for both of us, our new relationships were nothing like what we once had. Maybe it was the loss of our innocence, maybe it was them, or maybe it was us...Were we just different?

We kept in touch between my visits to California, my boyfriends and his girlfriends. He always knew when to call and somehow I always fell for it...and him.

We were on again and off again, for a while. There was always something (we couldn't figure out what) between us. But when we hooked up and he messed up again (he couldn't get M. off his back or out of his heart), I was stuck in this painful love triangle.

He couldn't make a decision, so I made it for him--I had enough. I was done. Friendship was all I could give him from then on...easier said than done.