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childhood
When I was a little girl, I was always the quiet one, which of course meant I was picked on all the time because I would never defend myself. I concentrated on school work and quietly took comfort in the fact that I would one day be more successful than my tormentors.
I remember sitting in class, working away at my assignments so I wouldn't have any homework, while the other kids at my table giggled and call me names. Then if I ever did talk, they would say, "She speaks!" as if I were some sort of alien being.
As I grew older my shyness problem persisted, but at least students became less cruel. In high school, I didn't have to deal with taunts from my classmates, but instead it was as if I didn't exist, except to my closest friends. Don't get me wrong, I loved my friends, but there was always this part of me that wanted to have the typical high school experience they show in the movies--going out with boys, going to dances, getting makeovers...
I pretended like I wasn't interested in all that because I really wanted to work hard and get into a good college, but the truth is, my daydreams resembled films like She's All That and
Never Been Kissed. I was waiting for someone to pull me out of high school obscurity and into the social elite.
I was so shy I couldn't even make friends with the band nerds. When we would go to parades and football games, I would sit in the stands with my flute, counting the minutes until I could go home, the only place where I could truly be myself.
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