I want to curl up on Jill's couch and spill to her that instead of researching secondary sources for the lab report, I've been reading up on pregnancy tests, morning-after pills and abortions. Last night, I locked my bedroom door, buried myself under a comforter, and opened up my calc textbook--behind which I had hidden one of the sex ed guides from my puberty days.

I long to explain my undercover trip to a chain pharmacy where I bought a pregnancy test. I read the instructions while hidden alone in a coffee-shop bathroom, then stuffed the plastic indicator into a deep, dark, zippered compartment in my purse, until I would be far enough along in my cycle to use it.