I want to find my real dad, but if my mom found out she would flip. She has told me some things about him but not everything. I know enough to know he is living. I don't want to hurt my mom but I really want to know who my dad is. What should I do?
Never Met Your Father
I don't think you should meet him until you're ready to deal with the possible emotional and mental pain of what you might discover. It may not apply to you, but I know that most of the time the fathers leave because they're not ready, and perhaps your father's still not ready to take on the responsibility that you might come with. However, if you'd still like to seek out your father I wish you the best of luck! --Posted by missteex3 06:35PM EST 03/07/07
Go For It!!!
You might not know, but your father is a big part of your life. Without him there would be no you. I really think you should be thrilled at the thought of getting to know a huge part of your past. To deal with your mom, just let her know that you need to know where you come from. Don't take no for an answer. If she doesn't want to help, ask a grandparent, aunt, uncle; somebody that can help you with your journey. Good Luck. --Posted by neece101 01:00PM EST 03/07/07
First off...
Ask yourself what family means to you. I was adopted at four months and I've never met my biological family. But to me, my adoptive parents and my brother are my family. Figure out what family means to you and if you still feel that part of you is missing, go find him. Just try not to set any expectations because he may end up letting you down. --Posted by brenelle 06:24PM EST 03/06/07
Go for it
Hey
I've never met my biological dad either and everyday I wonder what if my neighbor or a stranger I walk by everyday is my dad. My advice is to talk to your mom about it and explain to her that you need to fill that hole, that piece that's missing even if she doesn't think it's a good idea. Some people might say he may not want to talk to you, if that's true, if that was the case at least you know and you wont spend the rest of your life wondering about it. Tell your mom and if she doesn't help you go to another close relative because chances are someone will help you find him. If he doesn't want to talk to you or be in your life then that's his loss not yours.
--Posted by hillary 02:28PM EST 03/06/07
Just because you want to find him...
...doesn't necessarily mean he wants to talk to you. My husband went through a similar situation a few years ago. His mom was 100% against finding his real dad, whom my hubby has never seen. When he DID manage to get a hold of his long-lost daddy, he was told by his biological father that "My kids are the ones my current wife and I have had. You and your brother left my life when I left your mom." Talk about heartache...all that work for nothing.
Point of the matter is, maybe you should listen to your mom on this one...she knows how the guy is after all, and probably has a good reason for keeping him out of your life.
--Posted by vamp_flame 09:41AM EST 03/05/07
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