This boy on my debate team likes me. He's very nice and sweet but I'm not attracted to him. I don't even like him in that kind of way. But he's always sending me hints of how much he likes me. He always grabs my hand and pulls me close to hug him...and he is always complimenting me. How do I let him down without hurting his feelings?
To tell you the truth
Be honest. There is no easy way out. He will be upset if you tell him and he will be upset if you don't and he has to find out the hard way. OK, so here is my advice. You should just go up to him and say, "Look, you are a cool person and all, but I just don't like you in that way." Also, how are you so sure that he likes you? Girls tend to jump to conclusions or make mountains out of a molehills. Even I do it. So what I'm saying is, make sure he likes you, because you never know. --Posted by mertdaturtle 08:52PM EST 02/06/06
Just tell the truth
No matter how much it bothers you, you have to tell him the truth about how you feel. Tell him that you like him as a friend and think that he's making a sweet gesture, but that you're just not interested. I know he's going to get sad. That's just natural. Everything will be okay. I hope I've helped! --Posted by goodiegood12cx 08:13PM EST 02/06/06
Tell Him.....
Well that happens to me a lot so I will just tell you how I do it. OK, just pull him aside from everyone else and tell him: "You're really nice, and I think you're a great friend.(Sometimes guys are a lil slow so if he gets that "What do you mean?" look say this...) "Look I would like it if we stayed friends so this way nobody gets hurt in the end." That's what I always say. It seems to work. --Posted by sweetanna16 10:23AM EST 02/06/06
help
Well, just say you're not looking for a relationship right now. Just tell him you just want to be friends and no more than that.Tell him you don't ever think it would work out between you and him. Or you can say you can't see y'all more than just friends. He should undetstand. If he doesn't, then you know for sure it wasn't meant to be. Hope I have helped. --Posted by allenlover 08:10PM EST 02/05/06
That's a tough one
Well, I think no matter what his feelings are going to be a little hurt. Mine would be too if the guy I liked didn't like me, but I would just come out and say, "Listen, you're a great guy and all but I really don't see you as a bf type." Something to that effect but say it nicely and you should also say to him, "I hope you're not upset about this but if you are I totally understand--but I hope we can stay friends." --Posted by multisync 11:33PM EST 02/04/06
One word
Just write him a letter containing your feelings. A negative vibe may be lingering around, therefore letters can bring a lot of things home to a person and the words won't hurt as much since he will be in his comfort zone. --Posted by missmature 04:13PM EST 02/04/06
You need to find the perfect balance between being polite (so you're not a rude person) and being firm so he knows you mean business. Do what feels right to you. --Posted by e_beth_9 06:41AM EST 02/04/06
Somebody once told me
Awww...that's cute that he does that! I say be direct and assertive, but nice. Do so with a nice smile, and don't do any of that, "It's not you, it's me" kind of stuff. Make it quick and try to save him from embarrassment. I hope this helps. --Posted by wacky_tacky 04:40PM EST 02/03/06
Advice
Well, first remember that since you two are on the debate team together chances are you'll be seeing a lot of each other. It would be awful to have such an akward situation with someone you see a lot of. Second, realize that there is really no hurt-free way to let someone down. It stings to be rejected and if he likes you a lot then that'll make it worse. Before actually telling him I would give him subtle hints which let him know that you're not interested. If it comes to the point when he asks you out, then tell him gently that you don't feel the same way. However, if the way he's acting with you is bothering you then tell him right away. Don't wait for the situation to get more sincere. --Posted by candylipgloss89 04:14PM EST 02/03/06
Ooh, I used to be that guy
I had the same situation, only I was the one falling for my debate teammate. Is his attention, not the fact that you might hurt his feelings, actually bothering you? If not, than you should probably take it easy and keep it polite, but cool, until he asks you out. When he's ready, turn him down very tactfully and nicely. --Posted by star_thrower 08:24AM EST 02/03/06
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