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  you are here  >>> REACT > advice gURL > family  
  related topics  >>>  dating  |  friends & family    

 

i have no privacy

i can't stand my step-mom

everyone thinks my sister's better than me

my family is really poor

my dad doesn't like my friends

my mom thinks i'm insane

my christian cousin is gay...

i hate seeing my mom kiss her boyfriend...

my sister is anorexic...

my sister and i like the same guys

my parents fight about money

my mom focuses on mistakes i've made in the past

my mom's been snooping...

how do i tell my mom i want to be a vegan?

I lied about dating a younger boy, my mom would think I'm a loser

my dad insults me

my parents don't believe in dating

i'm an atheist but my mom's a lutheran

i have to share a room with an eight year old

my mom read my diary

i'm not allowed to date!

i cannot get along with my mom...

my mom and i are always yelling at each other.

my parents are paranoid about me dating.

my mom is a big emotional mess.

i just found out my dad is really my step-dad.

i want to be on birth control. how do i ask my mom?

my mom won't let any of my friends drive me places.

i want to find my real dad.

my dad and grandma are always fighting.

i can hear my mom having sex with her boyfriend at night.

i have my license but my mom won't let me drive on my own.

my parents are getting divorced and i'm freaking out.

my mom hates my best friend.

my dad looks at porn online, then blames my sister and me.

my mom doesn't like my boyfriend because he is not christian.

should i tell my mom that i'm not a virgin?

my parents don't support my vegetarianism. what can i do?

my mom doesn't believe that i'm bi. how can i convince her that this isn't a phase?

i think my dad is cheating on my mom. should i say something?

my brother is mad because i'm hooking up with his best friend.

my mom tries to fit in with my friends and it's really annoying.

i found a video of my brother smoking pot and i'm worried about him.

my mom won't let me wear make up.

my family keeps pressuring me to find a boyfriend. how can i get them to back off?


My parents don't believe in dating! At school, lots of guys ask me out and I'm tired of making up dumb excuses. It's making me mad and I'm not sure what to do. Help!

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    Parents are one thing you have to learn to work around and I understand where you are coming from. My parents let me date but they always have to meet the guy first and talk to them. My dad even has this thing where he can tell if a guy is "worthy" enough for me by his hand shake...go figure?! Try talking to your parents and explaining where you are coming from. How old are you? Maybe your parents are right in not letting you date at your age but if you are older than say 16 I dont understand...

One word of advice, don't go behind their backs because 1) you will feel very guilty and 2)you could get caught and then they will really never let you date. Try talking to your friends and seeing how they dealt with their parents and dating ages. Trust me, they will budge eventually on this rule and if you are kind and patient with them it will only be sooner before you are allowed to date! If you need anything feel free to talk to me. Good luck!
    --Posted by kik1229
    02:38PM EST 07/20/05


    
    Ask
    Talk to your parents and ask them if maybe they can meet the guy and get to know him before you actually go out. If they say no, ask if the first date can be at your house. Your parents in another room while you guys watch a movie or do something of the sort.
    --Posted by browneyezsz
    01:34PM EST 07/20/05


    
    On the brightside...
    ...high school dating and relationships were pretty pointless in hindsight. I always thought I was mature enough to date and have relationships but now I see that I'm out of high school and I'm probably still not fully ready to date because I'm still young and haven't quite figured out who I am. I don't know how old you are, but your parents are really saving you a lot of drama, tears, and heartache by not letting you date right now. By the time you can date, you will know so much more about yourself and be a better person for it.
    --Posted by missyceltic
    01:53AM EST 07/20/05


    
    
    They don't believe in dating? Wow! I can see that they are just trying to protect you. Maybe you need to prove your maturity to them. Be home by curfew, do more chores around the house, clean up your room without being asked, etc. Also, talk to them and say, "Look, I know you are just trying to protect me, but I think I need to make mistakes in dating on my own," or something. I don't know if that's really the case, but try to find out why they don't believe in dating.
    --Posted by raerae85
    12:07PM EST 07/19/05


    
    
    That must be tough. What you can do is talk to your parents and tell them how you feel. Most of all, show them they can trust you. Make sure they know that you won't go and make stupid decisions. I think there's a reason why they feel this way. I'm pretty sure they're not being harsh or cruel, they're just trying to protect their baby girl! Even though you might be 15 or 16, you're still their child. They also may be afraid you're growing up too fast. In their eyes you're still a little kid (their little kid). Talk to them!!

In the mean time, those boys can wait. Don't date them behind your parents' backs, cuz if they catch you lying to them, say good-bye to boys altogether (well, not quite, but you know what I mean :P ). Remember you need to gain trust before you can be treated as an adult and be allowed to date. Don't break curfew, don't do drugs (duh!), and don't get in too much trouble at school and at home. Then the privilege to date will come soon!!! Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!! ~~~CAT~~ ~
    --Posted by clvlndbabe
    06:54PM EST 07/18/05



    
    Confrontation
    Have you asked your parents why you can't date? Maybe if you talk to them about it and convince them that you are a trustworthy young adult they will reconsider. If they still don't want you date, then say "Do you not trust me?" That's when they usually start coming up with dumb reasons why you can't like, "It's not you we don't trust it's the boys we don't trust." Then you could say, "So you don't trust my judgement on dating good people?" Anyway, I hope this helps.
    --Posted by pulp_sucks
    04:59PM EST 07/18/05


    
    It's okay
    Listen it's okay. Not all parents are the same and not all parents believe in dating. You don't have to be like all the other girls. Why not be different? And like swimluver said, don't do it behind your parents' back. You'll feel really bad. I'm not allowed to date, went behind their backs, broke up and now it feels really bad. Trust me, being friends is the best thing ever.. and being single is even better. You'll come through a lot of problems by dating and if you become too attatched to the person, and then you break up, it's going to be really hard.

So, if you like the guy and know that he likes you back, why not go out on group dates? Like, go out with that guy and a few of your trusted friends. And YOU DON'T have to make stupid excuses up! Tell the guys that ask you out "I don't date" and be proud of it. They'll respect you for being honest and being yourself, and most of all being different than all the other girls that date and breakup every one hour. Don't worry about it and if you need any help you can always talk to me. Hope I helped =)
    --Posted by drama99queen
    08:08AM EST 07/17/05

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