My father recently remarried after he and my mother had been divorced for over 14 years. At first I really, really liked her but now that I have lived with her for a little while, I can't stand her. It feels like my father just settled for her and that he really isn't happy with her, and he even says so himself. What can I do to stop having these feelings or at least deal with them?
Here's my view
Hey, I know how you feel. I was in that same situation. What I can say is respect your dad and your step mom. The question is: What about your mom? Do you get along with her? Where is she? Why won't you live with her? You're old enough to make you're own decisions and I think that if you feel this way you should get away or better yet, talk to them about it because it's not good to run away from your problems. Also, go to siblings for help too so you won't feel alone. You can do it. --Posted by newyorkbaxina19 11:28AM EST 05/27/04
This is common
At first, you might feel that she's watching over you on everything you do and that you don't have any freedom after she came into your world...sound familiar? Well if that's the truth, its because you may not the idea that your father has remarried somebody. You probably still have feelings and memories from your past that create uneasy problems. my parents divorced when I was young...but I can't still forget about what I went through emotionally and physically. But here's my advice....try to open up to your step mom...try to see from her point of view. Believe me, your probably not the only one feeling lost. She is too. I haven't had a good relationshiop with my real mom and now I've developed a friendship with my stepmom. We are best friends...you don't have to love her...just try to have a nice conversation with her and see what kinds of things you guys have in common. If you guys don't...go shopping together and express your opinions over coffee or something...besides...you guys will be friends sooner or later...trust me. Everything will be fine. --Posted by eunhaecho 07:31PM EST 05/26/04
I know what it's like...
My mom didn't marry this guy yet, but he wants me to call him dad. Well I don't ever see that happening and let's see my dad is still alive but I dont talk to him much. I can't be with him so I have to put up with my mom's boyfriend. It drives me crazy sometimes. I didn't like him at first and I moved out at 15. Now I'm back here and I realize he's different then I thought. So give her a second chance, I'm sure she will be different then you're thinking now. But all I can say is try to deal with it and talk to your dad -- let him know everything. Peace. --Posted by rascalfan16 06:04PM EST 05/26/04
Even though you may think that you hate her, you may actually just be feeling hostility towards her because, well.... she's just not your mom and she will never take that place in your heart. Maybe you feel like if you completely open up to her or like her than you will be betraying your mother. Or maybe in you're mind nobody besides your mom will ever be good enough for your dad. I can totally understand that. My parents have been split up for a long time and when my step dad came into my life I was very distant from him but now I'm as close to him as I am to my mom and in my eyes he is my daddy. I'm probably not in the same situation as you because my real dad is hardly ever there so I'm not in the exact same position. You and your step mom should talk about it together so you can all understand eachother's feelings. Good luck with whatever you decide to do and I hope it all works out for the best. --Posted by maryia 09:31PM EST 05/25/04
I think that I might know how you feel. My step-mom seems really cool to all my friends and everything, but I know the truth. She was the reason my parents split up, so naturally I hate her. In my opinion, I think that you should sit down and talk to your dad. He might understand and listen to what you say. --Posted by lizzi8 10:46PM EST 05/24/04
Maybe I can help
Hi, here is my advice. First sit down with your dad and talk to him about your feelings. Maybe talk to your stepmom about your feelings also. If you have a sibling talk to them and see how they feel. --Posted by icebabe0209 09:19PM EST 05/24/04
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