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They love you.
You have a lot on your shoulders, but remember one thing--they love you and are doing this because they think it's best for a healthy family relationship. Many parents are still friends after a divorce. My best friend's parents, for example, are divorced and still go out to coffee shops together and spend time with each other. Just because they don't think they make a good couple, doesn't mean they can't be great friends.
As for your friends not caring, you should talk to another trusted adult about the situation. Try a teacher, a relative, or the guidance counselor. They'll have advice on what you can do to make yourself feel less "freaked out".
Trust me, your parents will be happy afterwards and there'll be less fighting around the house. They're getting divorced because they think it's good for you. No child wants to grow up in a household where there's ALWAYS fights. I know it's hard to accept now, but in the long-run, this could be a good thing--for your parents and for you.
--Posted by x8givemeenvy8x
08:28AM EST 07/26/07
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Don't think negatively
My parents separated about 3 years ago and are now divorced. I was upset for a while at the time, but really when I think of it now, it doesn't have to affect you so much. I live with my dad half the week and my mom the other half. The only thing different about my life now, is that half my stuff is at one place and half at another. My mom has a boyfriend she's been with for a year or two. That upset me at first too but now I don't see why it should affect me. Try to think of the divorce as an opportunity to grow and not something completely terribly.
I'm glad my life is the way it is now because otherwise I wouldn't be so independent.
What you think is bad now could turn out to be good later. You just never know!
--Posted by sez1077
07:32AM EST 07/26/07
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Life is crazy
I know it's a hard thing you're going through, but would you rather see them together unhappy, or separate, but happy? I would love to see my parents get a divorce; they fight all the time and it hurts a lot. There are advantages and disadvantages to your situation, but talking about it with your parents could be more helpful--especially if your friends don't think it's a big deal, but you think it is. Tell them how it makes you feel and how you feel they don't care. They are bound to understand. I hope this helped.
--Posted by foofiegirl
07:55PM EST 07/24/07
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I know what it's like
My parents are separated and I know how you feel. At first I was really worried because I didn't know how my dad would take it. We've all learned, however, that it was for the best and now both my parents are happier than they used to be. So sometimes getting a divorce can make your life better. You might want to talk to your parents and tell them what you're feeling. Talking about it makes it easier to deal with it.
--Posted by aghtig800
12:07PM EST 07/24/07
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Think about it this way: If they want it, then they'll be happier that way. I know it sucks for you, but your parents will be happier if they're not together. Think of being in their position. They probably don't love each other anymore or are fighting a lot, and don't want to be together anymore. If they stay together for you, they are sacrificing their own happiness.
You need to be there for them through this. It's their lives. And you will get over it eventually.
--Posted by fayefaye2
01:58PM EST 07/23/07
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Respect their wishes
I know it could be hard on you, but you have to respect their wishes--and their happiness.It's not making either of them less of a parent to you. Either way, they still love you.
--Posted by browni_eyes
01:34AM EST 07/21/07
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I know how you feel
My parents just got divorced in April and let me say--I was terrified. I NEVER thought that it would happen to me! Sure enough, my dad is out of the house and living in an apartment 30 minutes away. And, yeah--it sucks. But the saying is true; what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I still get upset from time to time, but life eventually just forced me to deal with it. Luckily, I can drive so I go and visit my dad as often as possible. It still sucks, though, going out to eat all the time when I wish we could just have dinner at home like we used to. My friends were not much help, either, since none of them have been through this. However, it helped me a lot to hang out with them. Seeing movies helps, too, in trying to get your mind off of the subject. Regardless, just know that you'll be alright. It will take some time, but things WILL get better--I promise. You know how I know? I just got a phone call today saying that I had won a $5,000 a year scholarship.
--Posted by hrhsartist
10:07PM EST 07/20/07
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I relate
My parents got divorced. It's really hard at first, but it will be okay. If you have a sibling, talk to them about it. You can also talk to your parents about what would happen if they got divorced. Is one of them planning on moving? Are they arguing over custody? If so, it will really help you to know what your parents have agreed on about after the divorce. If you handle this in a mature, responsible way it will be a lot better. And if you need someone to talk to who is unbiased, I'm here for ya.
--Posted by chocoholicgirl7
05:14PM EST 07/20/07
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They think it's for the best
The key is to keep communication open. Talk to your siblings (if you have any) about how they feel. You might even want to talk to your parents about how you feel. At first you might want to shut everyone out, which is okay at first, but you have to keep your family ties strong because it will help you out a lot.
I also suggest doing things to calm you down or keep you busy when you start to get upset. Writing in a journal, going for a jog, picking up a new hobby, etc., are all good ways to redirect your negative energy. Lastly, remember that your parents are only doing this because they think that it's best for everyone. Even though it hurts at first, eventually you might just see that this was the best decision.
--Posted by rtc1218
11:41AM EST 07/20/07
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There are advantages to divorce
It really sucks when your parents get divorced. My parents divorced about a year ago. You probably didn't expect it either, and didn't think it would ever happen in your family. That's how I felt. What's important to realize is your parents would never try to hurt you and they wouldn't decide to seperate unless they thought it was beneficial for their kids.
Eventually all of the pain from divorce will blow over, even though right now it might seem like a bit of a shock. They suck, but there are a lot of advantages to divorce that you can't see right now. Sure, you don't want your parents to seperate but if it means they'll both be happier, then this could actually be a great thing for you.
--Posted by kems131
05:49AM EST 07/20/07
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