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| I'm 17, and my mom is extremely overprotective when it comes to other drivers taking me places. If I need a ride, it seems like the driver has to be over the age of 40, known my family for at least 5 years or have recently been FBI screened.
Many of my friends have licenses and she won't let them drive with me--even if it's two blocks away. My dad agrees that she's being way too overprotective, but every time he or I try to talk to her about it, she gets extremely upset or angry and refuses to change.
She's killed my own desire to learn to drive because she's made it such an unpleasant subject in the house. And if she won't let anybody else drive me, who's to say that when I get a license she'll even let me, well, drive?
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I understand your point of view. It is frustrating and it would probably kill my desire to learn how to drive as well. However, your mom is only trying to protect you. My mom makes me call her to check in when I drive or when I'm in a friend's car. I used to be annoyed too, but this year 5 kids from my school have died in car crashes. I think the way to solve your problem is to understand why your mom is so paranoid (there IS a good reason). Tell her you'll be responsible and call her to check in, and you won't get in the car with someone who is absolutely reckless. You know your friends, protect yourself and only ride with the responsible ones. This way you're safe AND happy.
--Posted by winterbabyy
07:42PM EST 01/22/07
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Listen with patience
Your mom is being overprotective. Even I face similar problems at home. Just be patient with her. Her protectiveness is just a concern, or in other words, love that she is showing towards you (maybe a little too much!) Try talking to her, and tell her how you feel when she overprotects you. Tell her that you appreciate her concern, but you are not a kid.
--Posted by dj_tanya
08:31AM EST 01/22/07
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Take your time
Trust me; I know exactly how you feel! My mother is also overprotective and for a long time would not let me drive with friends. As my senior year in high school approached, we often had some battles about my right to go driving with my friends. Finally, after some long convincing my mother let up. She let me drive around with my friends. It took a lot of convincing and a long time, but I think my mom finally came to realize I was growing up. Just give your mother some time, she will realize you're fast becoming an adult and will give you the space you need.
--Posted by quebecois2011
01:02PM EST 01/21/07
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Same here
The same thing happened to me. I'm 16, and my Mom wouldn't let me ride in a car if my friends were driving. I told her that they are the same age as me and I'm often driving them around, so what's the difference? Ever since then, she lets me ride with my friends when they are driving.
--Posted by krizzledizzle09
12:10PM EST 01/21/07
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Show her it's safe.
Check with your friends, and see if it's okay if your mom can be a passenger with you in your friends' cars once, to show your mom that your friends really are safe drivers. My parents are both very overprotective as well, and I've found that it's just best to stay calm, reason with them, and come to an agreement that everyone is happy with.
--Posted by supermonkie13
07:38PM EST 01/20/07
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Your mother is really just trying to protect you. If you watch the news, teenagers driving other teenagers are ending up in crashes. It happens more often than it should. I'm not saying your friends are irresponsible, but they are teenagers.
In my county, there have been 7 teenagers that have died from accidents involving speeding since September; and maybe your friends don't speed, but they probably make mistakes. Your mother is just looking out for you, but I can see why you're frustrated. Maybe you should just try having her meet the people ahead of time and promising her that you would never put your life into the hands of someone who would mess with it.
Tell her that you know she loves you and that you love her too. What you have to realize is driving is a scary thing and your mother doesn't want to see someone she loves so much to get hurt.
--Posted by crazy_child_148
03:22PM EST 01/20/07
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A tricky subject. My mother was afraid of me driving too. The solution we came up with is that I have a cell phone on me at all times, so that she could check up on me. Annoying, but it's better that being stuck at home.
Still, you might want to get your mom into some family counseling. If even your dad can't convince her that her behavior is nuts, then it's a good idea to bring in a third party.
--Posted by whatever_it_is
10:15PM EST 01/19/07
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You could try talking to your mom about driving with your friends and having her set limits about how many people can be in the car, how far and how long you'll be in the car. You can also have her drive in the car with some of your friends to see how they drive.
--Posted by hislilarmybrat
09:24PM EST 01/19/07
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Talk it out
Tell your mom why it's practical for you to drive with your friends. Tell her your friends are responsible drivers, and you wouldn't want to drive with them if you didn't think they were safe.
You can also tell your mom you'll tell her who you're with and where you're going. Promise you won't drive with people she doesn't know.
Try to explain this to her, but if she gets really unreasonable when you're trying to talk, write it all in a clear, persuasive letter. She'll respect the time you've put in to thinking this out and maybe, if she is able to hear all your points, she'll understand a little more.
--Posted by hellokitty240
02:41PM EST 01/19/07
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Tell your mom how you feel in a calm way. Don't tell her she's being overprotective, tell her that you want to ride with your friends and that you also respect her opinion. If she flies off the handle (gets angry) at you, then you can respectfully tell her that this is why you two can't agree. Once again, avoid telling her what she's doing wrong, as it makes her feel like she's losing a battle to a daughter. Remember, it's not a battle; it's a calm discussion. If there's any screaming or name-calling, call it off.
--Posted by darkfaeriechick2684
12:46PM EST 01/19/07
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