| join now | shop | freebies & contests | help
     gURL.com  the Web    web search powered by Yahoo!


SHOUT OUT BOARDS

YOUR ROOM


HELP ME HEATHER

SEX ED BLOG



gURL GAMES

QUIZZES



COMIX

PHOTOS



POLLS

VIDEO



BODY IMAGE

SEX

  you are here  >>> REACT > advice gURL > sucky emotions  
  related topics  >>>  being yourself  |  dating  |  friends & family  |  sucky emotions    

 

My best friend is gay. I love her to death and I'm so close to her. I have a boyfriend but I feel these other feelings for my best friend. I want something to happen and I know she does too, but we are both scared. What should I do?

AddThis Social Bookmark Button



 

    
    Perhaps you should stand back and think.
     First, I think you should sit back and think about it. Why are you attracted to her? It may be because it's something new, something you've never done before. You know, curiosity.

Second, you should also consider what it may do to your friendship. Also, are you REALLY attracted to her, or do you just feel that you are because you two are so close?

If, after you think about it, you still are attracted to her and are interested in a relationship with her, I think you should talk to your boyfriend about it. It wouldn't be fair to him to talk to your friend without talking to him.

Perhaps you could make a list of the pros and cons of a relationship with each, or a list of what you like and don't like in each person Either way, if you decide to date your friend, make sure you end it with your boyfriend first.
    --Posted by kennedyrosewhith
    07:35PM EST 12/26/06


    
    Don't take your time.
    First off, don't take your time if you don't like your boyfriend. Just break up with him if he's just not doing it for you anymore. But if you like him and you're also feeling some conflicted emotions for your best friend then stay with him. But you need to talk to him about it. You don't have to go into specifics if you don't feel comfortable doing that or if you just feel that it's none of his business, but just ask him if it's alright if you take a little break.

If he's willing to respect your space, and give you the time you need to make your decision, then don't take it for granted. If you guys do take a break, use this time to really talk things out with your best friend. I know it might be really hard, but you just gotta take the plunge. I know that sound horribly corny, but it's true. You're lucky that your best friend wants something to happen, too.
    --Posted by superfreakazoid
    12:31AM EST 12/26/06


    
    
    In my opinion (and I don't know if this is yours): you like who you like. Whether you like someone of the same gender or the opposite one; treat it the same. If your feelings for your friend outweigh those for your boyfriend, don't hesitate to act on them. You like who you like and you have every right to.
    --Posted by futurebroadwaystar
    05:56PM EST 12/25/06


    
    
    If you don't love your boyfriend, let him go. That way, he gets the chance to meet somebody who has feelings for him. Make sure it's a nice breakup, not one that ends badly. Then, after a few weeks (or months) you can date your friend. If you date her too soon, it will hurt your boyfriend's feelings.
    --Posted by darkfaeriechick2684
    12:08PM EST 12/25/06


    
    Hmmm.
    Well, first off, how is your relationship with your boyfriend? If it's rocky, then that's probably why you think you have feelings for your best friend.
    --Posted by lilithfair
    11:10AM EST 12/25/06



    
    Go with it.
    If you're having these feelings for your friend, then you should follow your heart. If want it to be something more, go slow. Don't rush into things. Wait a while and if you still feel the same you need to break up with your boyfriend. Go easy on him though and don't tell him why you're doing it. Just tell him you need time to think. Then try to be with your best friend but go slow. (Maybe some kisses and make out sessions.) Then you will know the answers to all your questions.
    --Posted by krizzledizzle09
    08:47PM EST 12/24/06

You must be a gURL member to post. Not a gURL member? Join now! (It's free!)



email this feature to a friend:
IM this feature to a friend (AIM only):
tell us what you think of this feature.

  CONNECT EXPLORE gURL.com BY TOPIC ABOUT gURL  
 
shout out boards
gURL newsletter


being yourself
beliefs
body image
brainylicious
dating
d.i.y.
fashion & style
friends & family
health
music, movies & media
school & careers
sex
sports
sucky emotions

contact us
what is gURL?
advertise on gURL
privacy policy
terms of service
help

 
  ADVERTISEMENT

   
   Also... Get your horoscope mailed to you every day!
   Sign up for gURL and Astrology.com's daily newsletter.

 

© iVillage Inc. 1995-2008. All rights reserved.