I just found out that the guy who I thought was my dad is really my step-dad. I am freaking out. Please help.
I can understand why you are freaking out. You think that your parents were totally deceiving you and you feel as if they have been lying to you for your whole life. What else could they be lying about?
Honestly, my opinion is that your parents were trying to protect you. Sure, it was a really bad way of doing it, but they were trying to help you lead a more normal life. You shouldn't be too hard on them but I think you should ask them why they were hiding this from you for so long. I still think your idea of them shouldn't change because they are the ones who raised you and they are your parents. Just because your father isn't your biological one, it doesn't mean he isn't your father.
--Posted by sdrawkcabyag 02:36PM EST 12/20/06
Dad is Dad
It's fine to freak out with information like this--especially when you've lived your whole life believing one thing, and it turns out your parents were lying (or at least withholding details). But remember, just because biologically he isn't your father, it doesn't mean he's not still your dad. As the old saying goes, any man can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a dad. Talk with your parents about how you're feeling and get their side of the story. Good luck! --Posted by earthygoddess 03:32PM EST 12/19/06
I know this must be hard for you. My mother went through the same thing when she was younger. The thing is though; he IS your real dad. Just because you share the same DNA doesn't change the fact that he's been there for you your entire life, and he will always be there for you. Obviously he loves you unconditionally; otherwise you would have found out that he wasn't your biological father a long time ago. And I bet you love him too, don't you? Well, then that's all that matters really. I'll be praying for you, and I hope everything works out! --Posted by lovelikewinter9109 02:03PM EST 12/19/06
Does it matter?
Honestly, should it matter at all? If he has treated you like a daughter all your life, and you love him, should it matter if you have his genes or not? I don't think so. It's just like your friends who you consider sisters. It doesn't matter if the blood isn't there if the love is. --Posted by kalista_gamgee 01:36AM EST 12/19/06
Really sucks
I know everyone is telling you that he's still your dad since he's been there for you (like a biological dad), and I agree with that. But if I were you, I would be a little ticked that my parents didn't tell me he was my step-dad. Of course I would also be happy that he treated me so well.
In my case, I have no dad. My parents got divorced before I was born, and my mom has never gotten remarried. I would be happy just to have a step-dad. I also agree with the others when they say your dad is probably freaking out right now, too. Why don't you just talk to him? Ask him why he never told you.
Honestly, I don't think a title should change how either one of you feels about the other. He loves you no matter what his actual title is.
--Posted by countrygrl9 03:25PM EST 12/18/06
I went through the same exact thing almost two years ago. It was so confusing and awkward because he was the one that told me. Although I do think about what my real father is like and stuff, I've realized that he's just like a biological father because I've known him for as long as I can remember. He doesn't treat me like a step-daughter and I don't treat him like a step-father. Your step-father has probably seen you throughout your whole life...so no matter what the DNA test might say, he's your father. --Posted by shay9008 10:07AM EST 12/18/06
Have you tried talking to your parents about it? They may not have wanted to tell you because in the long run it doesn't matter. He was the one who was there for you, so why does it matter if he's not your biological father?
My nephew will grow up thinking that his step-father is really his father because he's the man who'll teach him to throw a ball, ride a bike, run to when he's hurt and be there for him. I'm not even blood related, but I'm still his aunt. He means as much to me as any of my family who's related by blood. Family isn't about blood solely, it's about feeling too. If you love him like a father, then he's your father.
--Posted by hislilarmybrat 11:56PM EST 12/17/06
He's still your dad.
I know this must be difficult. It really makes your reevaluate your trust in your parents, but it doesn't change who he is. Your dad is your dad because he was there for you during your first steps, your first friends, your first time going to school, your first everything. He's still the one you've been able to go to for advice and love. Just because you're not related doesn't make him any less of a dad. --Posted by hellokitty240 09:11PM EST 12/17/06
It's Normal
It's normal to freak out after finding out something like this. You have every right to be angry at him and your mom but eventually you will have to accept it. Talk to your mom and step-dad and explain to them why you feel the way you do. Try to work things out when you feel ready. I'm sorry this happened, but if your step-dad has always treated you well and has loved you no matter what, than he is as much of a father as any biological dad. I hope things work out for you! --Posted by hungrykittie 10:28AM EST 12/17/06
You must be a gURL member to post. Not a gURL member? Join now! (It's free!)
