I've been going through some rough times. My parents are recently separated, and since my dad left the house my mom has been a big emotional mess. She keeps asking ME for advice. They both tell me different things and I don't know who to believe anymore. What should I tell my mom? I feel bad ignoring her, but then again, I don't know what to tell her.
My best friend is going through the same thing. I would probably help as much as I could first. If you can help her personally I would either go to one of your mom's parents, siblings, or friends and see if they could help her. Even though someone else is helping with the really big problem you could still help with the little things such as giving her hugs, a shoulder to cry on, or telling her you care about her ect. --Posted by ghb9096 04:57PM EST 10/02/06
I'm in the exact same situation.
My dad recently moved out, and he's being really difficult. My mom occasionally vents to me, because she doesn't really have anyone else to talk to. I want to be there for her, but also, some of the things she says really bother me. It's a hard position to be in, but I eventually reminded her that I'm only her daughter, and that it's better to tell some of these things to a therapist or another adult friend. Make sure that your mom knows that you still love and support her, but you simply can't help her with this. Let her know that it stresses you out, and I'm sure she'll make a better effort to control her rants. --Posted by bandgeekbabe106 11:04PM EST 10/01/06
You're the child
Your mom needs to understand that you're the kid. Tell her that it's not fair for her to depend on you for support; you're the kid and should be depending on her. If your mom really needs help tell her she should see a counselor or join a support group, that way she'll find someone who can help her more than you can and you'll both benefit.
Also if you're sick of hearing your parents bad mouth each other try telling them to stop, you still love your mom and dad and that shouldn't be expected to change just because their not married anymore.
--Posted by hellokitty240 03:40PM EST 10/01/06
Help For You
Try to form your own opinion on who is right, and keep that to yourself. Tell both of them you don't want to be caught in the middle. As for your mom asking you for help, you should feel good that she trusts you. Try to help her as much as you can and try to convince her to see a professional (divorce counselor, relationship counselor). --Posted by divinetarot 09:26AM EST 10/01/06
I've been where you've been...
My mother was a disaster after my parent's divorce. The thing is that you are the child and she is the parent. It is not your responsibility to pick up after your mom's emotional mess. Sit her down and say 'mom, I know you're going through a lot, but you're my mom. I can't really help you with these problems. Please stop.' Also urge her to seek therapy. Divorces are tough. She needs an adult to talk to right now, not you. --Posted by whatever_it_is 10:42PM EST 09/29/06
HELP!
This is tough situation. I once went through it when my mom and dad seperated, except one thing. My mom was different. She had a pep that she had never had before.
Tell both of them that this is hard for you, too. Maybe you and your mom could be there for each other.
--Posted by cheergurrrl54321 04:40PM EST 09/29/06
Don't be caught in the middle, chances are you'll stay there for a long time. Tell them both that you're there for them, but that this is a hard time for you too, and sometimes you just need to deal with yourself and no one else's problems. --Posted by sinner182 12:43PM EST 09/29/06
Support
Well, try not to go between them, just hear them out. As for things with your mom, you could try to explain you're there for her, but don't really know what she should do because you've never been in that situation before, and reassure her, telling her that you're there for a shoulder to cry on if she needs you. BUT don't forget your needs, too! --Posted by flitz 12:10PM EST 09/29/06
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