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  you are here  >>> REACT > advice gURL > friends  
  related topics  >>>  body image  |  friends & family    

 

what's advice gURL?

i'm falling for my best friend

my friend dates boys i like

my best friend is bisexual

i'm christian but my friend has no idea who god is

my friend has been drinking and doing lots of drugs

i just moved and i have no life

my friend is homophobic.

i told my friend she's fat

my friends think my boyfriend is ugly

how can i show him that he's being racist?

i am a perpetual liar...

my mom uses me to get closer to my sister...

my friend is a freeloader...

she's conceited and it's driving me nuts...

her singing voice sucks...

my two best friends don't get along

how do i stand up to a "mean girl"?

My friend is the biggest flirt.

my friend is the biggest flirt.

i saw my friend's bf cheating on her...

i don't want to share clothes...

my friend uses her ADD as an excuse

my friend's stealing my stuff

me and my best friend have been drifting apart...

My friend is competing with me

my best friend has a new best friend

my friends tease me for being skinny

my friend thinks i'm the girl of his dreams

both sides want me to choose between them

my two closest friends just started going out with each other

all my friend talks about is her new guy

my friend's mom keeps interfering in our business

my friend makes rude comments about my weight

my friend's a perfectionist

my friends are playing tug-of-war with me!

i want people to stop making fun of me...

she's saying things behind my back...

cheap and thoughtful bday present ideas?

i feel like i'm losing my best friend...

my friend's step-dad just died...

i think she's interested in me...

my best friend's mom hates me.

my friend is very homophobic.

my best friend likes my ex-boyfriend.

my best friend ignores me when she has a boyfriend.

i called my friend 'nasty' for not using a condom.

my best friend is in love with a complete loser.

what makes a good best friend?

my best friend is slowly changing.

my friend is constantly putting me down.

i get upset when i see my crush and my best friend together.

my best friend's mom thinks i'm a TOTAL druggie!

my best friend chose her boyfriend over me.

none of my friends take me seriously.

my best friend slept with my other best friend's boyfriend.

I'm noticing annoying things about my best friend that never used to be annoying before.

i don't think i'll have any friends when i go back to school

i don't trust my best friend's boyfriend.

i told my friend i'm bisexual; now she's acting different around me.

i received an email from an old friend who hasn't spoken to me in years.

i'm starting to like my friend but he's gay. what should i do?

i like this guy, but now my best friend feels like a third wheel.

my friend is extremely clingy. how do i get her to leave me alone?

my best friend went off to college and i feel like she doesn't care about our friendship anymore.

i'm afraid to tell my friends i'm bisexual. what should i do?

my best friend smokes weed every day. i'm worried, but she won't listen.

my best friend wants to read my diary. how do i keep my private writing private?


I'm friends with this one girl I'll call "Jenny". She and I met last year and have become pretty good friends. The only problem is that Jenny is SUPER skinny. It's not like I'm fat or anything, but she is amazingly skinny. This wouldn't be a problem with me, but she has been kinda rude about it.

For example, we were shopping at the mall and I saw a very cute skirt. I went over and commented on how I liked the skirt and she came to take a look at it. Her reply? "Yeah, it's cute...except it's HUGE!" The problem? It was my size and she knew it! I was so hurt, but I acted like I didn't care. This isn't the only time weight has become an issue between us. I'm not sure whether to confront her about how I feel or just keep quiet and let her comments slide off my back. Any advice?

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    Be upfront
    If you want your friendship to last, then you would tell her how you feel about her comments I mean--come on now! You know that sooner or later, this will ruin your frienship. The best thing to do is find a quiet place to sit down and talk to her. Tell her nicely and let her see your point of view, but also try to step into her shoes. Maybe there's a story behind all this. The only way to find out is to be upfront!
    --Posted by sweetknowitall
    05:17PM EST 10/26/05


    
    Be honest about what you feel & always keep it real.
    In my opinion, you should never hold anything in, it's best to be honest and up front about things all the time. If you feel bothered about her making fun of you, confront her in a nice way and tell her how you feel. Then if she still wants to act the same, even though you're trying to be a good friend to her, then it's probably best to leave her alone. If she was your friend, she would consider and respect your feelings and she wouldn't bring you down like that.
    --Posted by lilmamacece
    10:45PM EST 10/25/05


    
    Don't let it bother you
    Who cares what she thinks? Sometimes people are just a different size than everyone else. I shop at plus size stores, but it doesn't stop me from shopping with my friends. Even though I can't buy anything at their stores, I go shopping with them. Then, they do the same for me. Just because you're different sizes shouldn't mean that your friendship has to end. People come in all shapes and sizes, so just sit down and explain to her that her comments are making you feel uncomfortable, even if they aren't on purpose. Then, if she doesn't stop it, you'll know that it wasn't meant to be.
    --Posted by queensmartgirl
    08:28PM EST 10/25/05


    
    Talk to her but think about this also.....
    I could be totallly way off about this but do you think it's possible that when she made her comment she might have meant that she felt you could go down a size rather than pick a larger one? From what you say it's not the sort of thing she would normally say to you and it seemed like it was something that slipped and she didn't even realize the impact of her words. There is a chance that she might have a very different outlook on your weight than the one you have of yourself.

I think you need to talk to her and get this cleared up because the sooner you talk the better. Weight issues are something that obviously goes unsaid in your relationship but I think the more open you both are about it the better. Rememeber some guys like girls with a little meat on them:)
    --Posted by cleopatraxviii
    04:21PM EST 10/25/05

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