I'm friends with this one girl I'll call "Jenny". She and I met last year and have become pretty good friends. The only problem is that Jenny is SUPER skinny. It's not like I'm fat or anything, but she is amazingly skinny. This wouldn't be a problem with me, but she has been kinda rude about it.
For example, we were shopping at the mall and I saw a very cute skirt. I went over and commented on how I liked the skirt and she came to take a look at it. Her reply? "Yeah, it's cute...except it's HUGE!" The problem? It was my size and she knew it! I was so hurt, but I acted like I didn't care. This isn't the only time weight has become an issue between us. I'm not sure whether to confront her about how I feel or just keep quiet and let her comments slide off my back. Any advice?
Be upfront
If you want your friendship to last, then you would tell her how you feel about her comments I mean--come on now! You know that sooner or later, this will ruin your frienship. The best thing to do is find a quiet place to sit down and talk to her. Tell her nicely and let her see your point of view, but also try to step into her shoes. Maybe there's a story behind all this. The only way to find out is to be upfront! --Posted by sweetknowitall 05:17PM EST 10/26/05
Be honest about what you feel & always keep it real.
In my opinion, you should never hold anything in, it's best to be honest and up front about things all the time. If you feel bothered about her making fun of you, confront her in a nice way and tell her how you feel. Then if she still wants to act the same, even though you're trying to be a good friend to her, then it's probably best to leave her alone. If she was your friend, she would consider and respect your feelings and she wouldn't bring you down like that. --Posted by lilmamacece 10:45PM EST 10/25/05
Don't let it bother you
Who cares what she thinks? Sometimes people are just a different size than everyone else. I shop at plus size stores, but it doesn't stop me from shopping with my friends. Even though I can't buy anything at their stores, I go shopping with them. Then, they do the same for me. Just because you're different sizes shouldn't mean that your friendship has to end. People come in all shapes and sizes, so just sit down and explain to her that her comments are making you feel uncomfortable, even if they aren't on purpose. Then, if she doesn't stop it, you'll know that it wasn't meant to be. --Posted by queensmartgirl 08:28PM EST 10/25/05
Talk to her but think about this also.....
I could be totallly way off about this but do you think it's possible that when she made her comment she might have meant that she felt you could go down a size rather than pick a larger one? From what you say it's not the sort of thing she would normally say to you and it seemed like it was something that slipped and she didn't even realize the impact of her words. There is a chance that she might have a very different outlook on your weight than the one you have of yourself.
I think you need to talk to her and get this cleared up because the sooner you talk the better. Weight issues are something that obviously goes unsaid in your relationship but I think the more open you both are about it the better. Rememeber some guys like girls with a little meat on them:) --Posted by cleopatraxviii 04:21PM EST 10/25/05
You must be a gURL member to post. Not a gURL member? Join now! (It's free!)
